Owned: An Alpha Anthology (52 page)

She bites down on her bottom lip and nods her head. "D’ya think I’m weird?" she asks.

Jet leans forward and grabs her hair, not harshly but enough to make her turn her head. "I think your fuckin’ perfect, baby. Now you just relax while I get myself inside you and when I do, I’ll slap that pretty ass of yours and I’ll pull your hair just the way you like it. You can forget Moscow, they’ll be hearing you in Melbourne with the way we’ll make you scream. Now relax baby, just relax." She turns back around to look at me. Her hand’s wrapped tightly around my cock as she strokes up and down. I don’t want to be in her mouth until Jet’s buried inside her, just in case he hurts and she bites down on my dick. Yeah, it’s happened before. Just the once, but I’m not likely to forget it.

Jet strokes his fingertips down her spine with one hand and with the other he squeezes more lube onto the bottom of her back, then uses his fingers to drag it where he needs it. He squeezes more lube into his hand and rubs it over his condom covered cock, his eyes meeting mine as he does. Unlike my fine self, Jet will fuck anything with a hole. He prefers women, but if there are none available, he’ll happily fuck or be sucked off by a bloke. He’s told me many, many times that he’d love to be fucked by me, and I’ve told him just as many times, it ain’t gonna happen. Jet lines his cock up with Lara’s arse and I watch her eyes flutter while he begins to push inside her.

"Open your eyes and tell me that feels good, Lara. We need to know you’re okay. That feel good?" She opens her eyes, just as Jet must push in further, her back arches and she lets out the most animalistic moan. It’s carnal, sensual, and totally erotic and I almost come in her hand.

"So good, Reed, it feels so fucking good. Please let me suck you. I want to taste you." I shake my head. "Just a few more seconds and you can, but let’s get you on your way first."

Jet pushes all the way inside her as I speak. I watch as his hands hold onto her hips and he begins to pump slowly into her. His eyes are on me as he bites down on his bottom lip.

"She feels good, Reed, good and tight but I wish she was you. I wish this was your arse I was fucking." He doesn’t take his eyes from mine. I don’t get scared when he says these things anymore. I know he means every one of them, but they don’t terrify me like they used to. He’s my mate, I love him like a mate but that’s all. I like kinky, weird, fucked up sex, but I don’t like to fuck men. I don’t fancy men. I’ve watched two men fucking. Actually I’ve watched three and four men fucking and I’ve totally come in my hand over it, and all over a bird’s face while I’ve watched a few times too, but it’s because of the eroticism of the moment. It’s watching them get off that’s made me get off, it has nothing to do with the fact that they’re men.

I push my cock back into Lara’s mouth and push my hips up as the momentum of Jet pushing into her arse moves her forward. She pushes on the underside of my cock with the flat of her tongue, forcing it up to the roof of her mouth. She swallows and gags slightly and the sensation is almost too much. I pull on her hair and Jet takes that as a cue to slap her arse again, in turn making her moan around my cock.

"Push the toy back in, full speed, push it deep but be gentle," I tell him. Lara groans around my cock with anticipation and I watch her face as Jet follows my instructions. My eyes move from hers to Jets, both of them are staring right at me. Lara starts to moan continuously now and the vibration feels fucking spot on. I get that all too familiar tingle at the base of my spine as my balls begin to tighten. I wrap her hair tightly in my hand and hold her head still as I lift my hips and fuck her face.

"Yes, yes Reed. Harder, fuck her harder. Oh God, I can feel that vibrator against my cock. Fuck, I’m gonna come. Come Reed, let me see your face. Fuck Reed. Fuck, I want you. I love you Reed, I fucking love you."

I shut my eyes to try and shut out Jet’s voice. I know he’s a sensitive soul, but I don’t do all that love shit. I feel it, I write it in my songs but that’s as far as it goes for me, since her. I don’t say those words out loud to anyone except my family.

My arse cheeks clench almost as tight as my balls and my dick throbs painfully as I come inside Lara’s mouth. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, but it doesn’t help. It doesn’t keep her away. Yeah, when it’s good I see stars. I get that white flash of light when I blow my load, but in amongst it all, every time, there’s always a pair of blue eyes, long blonde hair and the face of an angel. My angel, Amoeba. It’s been fourteen years and a whole world of hurt and fucking heartache since I last saw her. Yet she’s still there, still here, in my head, my belly and my heart and I so wish to fuck that wasn’t the case.

REED BY LESLEY JONES

2

We walk toward the hotel lobby like we’re kings of the fucking world. One because we can and two, because, well basically, we are. Our album is at number one and has just gone platinum. We have four songs sitting inside the music download chart and our eighteen-month world tour has been a complete and total sell out. On top of that, I’ve just come in the mouth of a bird we pulled out of the audience at our show while riding in the limo back to our hotel.
Who does that I ask ya?
Me, Conner fucking Reed, that’s who does that. Fuck her. Fuck her and her blue eyes and her blonde hair and those fuckeyed freckles that are all over her nose after just ten minutes in the sun. Fuck her and her boring little life she’s probably leading. Married to someone that Mummy and Daddy and that prick of a brother of hers actually approve of. Someone who didn’t grow up on a council estate, whose dad wasn’t an alchi and whose mum wasn’t a junky, murdered by her dealer. I bet whoever he is, he’s never got a blow job in the back of a limo.

What if he has? What if he’s gotten a blowjob from her? What if she loves it? What if she loves him? What if she’s had his babies?

Fuck!

Fuck!

Fuck!

I need to shut my brain down. This is why I try and stay away from coke, it makes me think. It makes me think far too much. I need a drink. I need to get up to our room, watch some randoms fuck when I tell them to, and I need to get drunk. I need to drink until my brain shuts the fuck up and I can go to sleep and not dream of... not dream of any of them. Not her, not my mum and not Miles.

There are a few photographers hanging about outside and I take a couple of deep breaths and get my racing thoughts under control as we stop and pose, letting them earn their money. I need to shut her down. I need to shut down all thoughts of her and fuck them off out of my brain. It’s been fourteen years... fourteen years, and I seriously need to get a fucking grip. I hate that she can still do this. I’m Conner Reed. I’m living the dream and yet a single thought, a distant memory of a little blue eyed, blonde haired girl from Surrey can bring me to my knees. Well. Fuck. Her. Tonight, I’m not gonna let that happen. I’m gonna focus on the here and now and just how great my fucking life is.

I’m buzzing from the coke, the last show of the tour and the fact that I’ve just blown my load down the back of some bird’s throat in the back of the limo. I’ve had a good night so far, so let’s pay it forward and give the paps the picture they need to pay their rent with this week. They’re wankers most of them, but at the end of the day, it’s their job and I’m happy to help out anyone that’s just trying to make a living.

The lovely Lara’s still with us and for some reason, which probably seems totally logical in Jet’s weird but beautiful mind, he’s now carrying her monkey style, toward the lifts that’ll take us up to our penthouse, and the guests we invited to join us earlier. And then I see her, and my buzz and my good mood vanish in an instant.

Amanda Vale. Women like her are the reason that I don’t do return rides. I made the mistake of fucking her twice. She now assumes there’s something between us, and that I just need to come to my senses and realise it. Yeah, right. What she needs to do is take the hint that I’m not interested, then fuck off and leave me alone. I don’t do relationships. The problem is, she’s a personal assistant to our manager, Lawson and her dad’s a major shareholder in our record label, which all means she’s around – a lot.

She’s older than me, about forty I reckon. She’s beautiful don’t get me wrong. She’s stunning and keeps herself in good shape, but none of that matters. She’s not her. None of them are her and that’s why none of them matter.

"Oh dear, stalker alert at two o’clock," Jet says quietly from beside me as Lara sucks on his neck, her arms and legs wrapped around him as he continues to carry her like a baby monkey clinging to his chest.

"Yeah, I see. Don’t make eye contact." We both keep looking straight ahead, aiming for the lift that’s only destination is to our room.

"Reed," she calls out.

"Fuck," Jet and I both whisper together. We both turn at the same time and face Amanda.

"Well, looky here, it’s Miss Mandy. You coming up to play with us sweetie?" Jet asks her. She knows what he’s asking. She knows the kind of games we like to play, especially after a show. She’s seen what goes on and she knows how we operate. She’s even joined us once. I watch as her eyes move from me to Jet, to Lara and back to Jet again.

"I actually wondered if you fancied going for something to eat, Reed?" Her eyes move back to mine. Fuck, I don’t want to be an arsehole, but there’s no way I’m going anywhere with her.

"Sorry Amanda, I’ve already got plans," I tell her.

"But you’re more than welcome to join us if you want," Jet adds.

"Will I have your undivided attention if I do, Reed?"

I shake my head before she’s even finished speaking. "You know that’s not how we operate, Amanda. Now if you don’t mind, it’s been a long tour, and now it’s over I’m gonna go and have some fun before I fly home tomorrow." We turn and head back toward the lift and leave her standing there. I feel bad, but I shouldn’t. We had a quick fuck in an office at the studios one drunken night and then she joined Jet and me for a foursome with some other girl, whose name I don’t remember. Although technically, I just watched and directed the three of them in action, until the very last minute when I came in the mouth of the unnamed girl, pissing Amanda off big time. That was about three months ago, and despite me telling her from the start there was nothing more than sex between us, since then, she’s constantly tried ways to be alone with me. She’s invited me out for drinks, lunch, coffee, and dinner. She’s tried them all. I’ve refused each and every offer and yet here she is, still trying, still not giving up. She’s persistent, I’ll give her that.

* * *

I step out of the shower and grab a towel off the rack and wrap it around my hips. I grab another and rub my hair dry with it while wandering into the bedroom. I sit on the bed and stare down at the carpet, mentally preparing myself for tonight’s events. We invited two couples and two girls back to join us tonight, plus, we have now added Lara to the mix.

The buzz from the coke I had earlier is wearing off and if the truth be told, I’d quite happily go straight to bed right now, but if I do that, I’ll start to think, and the first and probably the last thing I’ll think about is her. I get the usual stab of pain in my gut and chest, the instant I allow her image to enter my head.

It’s been almost fifteen years since I saw or spoke to her in person. Fifteen long years since the night my life changed forever. Her not bothering to show up that night, changed the course I thought my life was set on. Her not showing up, resulted in my brother’s death and me going to prison. Ultimately, all of those things had led me to Jet and the band, but I’d give it all up in a heartbeat if it meant I got my brother back, if the accident hadn’t happened, if
she
, had just turned up. I look up toward the door as it rattles and Jet calls my name.

"Reed, dude, hope you’re not in there getting all depressed. Get out here and have some fun. Stop thinking and come join us."

I take a deep breath in and let it out slowly. It hurts, I don’t know why but by keeping my breaths short and shallow, it helps keeps the pain away. When I breathe deep, it’s like I let go of the tightness in my chest a little, which in turn, lets the ache and the pain out, or is it in? All these years later and it still hurts just as much. I seriously need to get a grip.

"Reed, you hearing me?"

"Yeah man, I’ll be out in a minute. Go get them warmed up and wet. Put on a porno or something. Yeah, put on some gay porn. I wanna see how the bloke with the muscles reacts. Let’s see how far we can push him tonight."

"You’re an evil, twisted genius, Conner Reed. I fucking love you. Don’t be long."

Twisted, now ain’t that the truth. I’d moved on from my days of just liking to take charge in the bedroom. I’d joined the band just as they’d made it big. I hadn’t had to do the hard yards with the rest of them. Two months after Jet found me busking at Tottenham Court Road Tube Station and asked me to audition, we’d signed a recording deal. I’d gone from living on the streets and in homeless shelters, busking for a living, to staying at the best hotels around the world and having a lump sum of two hundred and fifty grand US paid into my newly opened bank account, with a weekly expense allowance of another three thousand added to that. I’d seriously died and gone to rock star heaven. That was peanuts compared to what I’m earning now. I pay more than that in tax a year.

What I discovered, along with all of that is, that women will do anything, and I do mean anything, just to be a small part of my world. But the biggest surprise came, when I found out it wasn’t just women, it was blokes too. And being the twisted little freak that I am, I pushed and pushed, just to see how far people would go to get what they wanted, and I soon discovered it was pretty much all the fucking way.

What resulted from that is what I’m about to do now. Mindless, dirty, filthy sex. It’s the only kind of sex, the only kind of intimacy I can handle. I hate soft gentle touches. I hate whispered words of love or terms of endearment. I want nothing personal about the whole experience. My attitude toward sex is fucked and as much as I know it’s wrong, I like nothing better than taking a seemingly happy couple and destroying everything they thought they knew about themselves and each other, sexually. And being Conner Reed, lead guitarist and sometimes singer for Shift, I always get people to do exactly what I want them to. Yeah, I abuse my status in life, so fucking what. You want a job as a roadie? Sure, tell your girlfriend to suck me off while you watch, and the job’s all yours. You girls want backstage passes and access to the after party? No problem, strap this on and fuck your mate from behind while she sucks me off and I’ll get you backstage at any concert you want. My life is fucked, why shouldn’t theirs be too.