Owned: An Alpha Anthology (47 page)

DEEP COVER: CASE 001
BY LILLIANA ANDERSON

005

"You stayed," I comment, my happiness feeling slightly forced as I walk through the front door and find Gavin still waiting inside. In all the chaos of the last eighteen hours, I had wondered if he’d have the patience to wait for me until I got back.

"A promise is a promise," he smiles, putting aside his laptop and coming over to the door to greet me. "You look exhausted." He slides his arms around me, and I allow myself to relax and fall into his broad chest, finding comfort in his arms.

"I am exhausted," I agree, my voice muffled against his chest as I feel the weight of the day slowly drain out of my body. For a while, he just holds me, gently stroking my hair in comfort, and I wonder if I could just close my eyes for long enough, I could force myself to forget that Drake has returned and that I’d been pulled back into active duty.

I could pretend that I still have my desk job and that my new relationship with the first man with the patience to break down my walls was still my life.
My life.
A life that had been crushed when Drake was reported dead. A life that I had fought long and hard to rebuild, and finally, just when I was beginning to find happiness again, I’ve been catapulted right back to the beginning–with Drake alive, working for the other side, while my side is trying to find him.

But it’s worse this time. Last time I wasn’t a part of the hunt, and this time I’m smack in the middle of it, partnered with my closest friend, and a man who doesn’t trust me. I know I’m being used as bait. I know they’re testing my allegiance. And I suppose they’re right to do so. After all, I didn’t tell them everything that happened with Drake. I didn’t tell them he’d kissed me…twice.

"Hey, you’re not crying are you?" Gavin asks, as he pulls away from me a little to peer down into my face, his blue eyes, filled with concern as he lifts my chin upward.

"No. I’m just a little overwhelmed."

"Can you talk about it?"

I shake my head slowly in response. "It’s classified."

"Well, in that case," he starts, spinning me by the shoulders as he works his fingers into the tight muscles of my neck and shoulders. "How about you go relax in the tub while I make you some food. I’ll even bring you a glass of wine. How does that sound?"

"Like heaven," I moan, leaning into his skilful fingers as he walks me toward the bathroom and twists the water on.

He presses a kiss to my forehead. "I’d love to undress you, but I’m pretty sure you’re too tired for what your naked self does to me. So I’ll let you sort that out and go grab you that wine."

"What did I do to deserve someone like you?" I ask, his kindness, helping me push the thoughts of Drake to the side and producing the first real smile from me all day.

"Just lucky, I guess," he replies with a wink, before disappearing from the bathroom and leaving me alone.

I add a healthy dose of vanilla scented bubbles into the steady jet of water that flows out of the chrome faucet into the taupe coloured tub. I remove my clothing and slide into the warm water, loving the relaxing warmth that curls around my body.

I close my eyes, resting my head against a rolled up towel as I will my body and mind to relax and keep any thoughts of my job and Drake at bay. I focus on Gavin, and how good he’s been to me since we started dating. As much as I wanted to be on my own to think when I arrived home, having the comfort of him turned out to be so much better. It’s nice distraction from my thoughts, keeping me in this nice delusion where everything in my life is still the way it was eighteen hours ago, for just a little longer.

Gavin re-enters the bathroom with a glass of wine and a stool for me to rest it on. "Thank you," I say as he places it next to me.

"My pleasure," he replies. "Operation relax Caitlin is in full effect. Check this out." He reaches into his pocket and produces an iPod which he docks on the bathroom counter. He switches on to the playlist I have titled, ‘The Calm’, before moving about the bathroom and lighting all of my candles to create a peaceful glow in the room. "See, I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve still."

The comment produces the image of Drake in my mind as he called me ‘Trix’ earlier in that day. I find myself unable to respond to Gavin’s kindness.

He moves toward me and slides his hand over my hair sympathetically. "Are you sure you can’t talk about it?" I shake my head and smile in response, but I don’t have any words for him right now. I’m suddenly struggling not to cry. "Ok. I’ll let you know when dinner is ready," he says quietly, then once again, he leaves the room.

I force my mind to stay calm, to push out any thoughts of Drake and focus on this moment. I train my ears on the sounds of the rushing water as it finishes filling the tub, the noise reverberating loudly with the bathroom acoustics. It’s calming, and I once again, close my eyes, this time imagining there’s a waterfall in the middle of nowhere, pouring into a private swimming hole that’s surrounded by tall trees and beautiful flowers. Breathing in, I inhale the vanilla scent of the bubbles, imagining it’s the scent of the air in my own, private oasis.

The visualisation becomes clearer and I wonder if I’m now dreaming. I can actually see the sand and the plants around me, and feel the sand between my toes. Suddenly, I’m smiling, floating in the pool of water, my body bobbing up and down as it balances on the surface. From beneath me, a strong set of arms slide around me, cradling me against a rock hard body. My arms slip around his neck, and my lips part, ready for his mouth on mine. The mouth presses down hard, hungrily taking me like he’s a man starved, and I open my eyes, expecting to see Gavin but finding myself with my arms wrapped around Drake.

My eyes pop open, and I’m brought back to the reality of my bathroom where the tub is now full. I thank the heavens I insisted on getting a tub with an overflow drain. Sitting up, I reach out for the taps and turn the water off, lifting my hand to my touch my lips and as I do, the memory of Drake’s kiss before he escaped forces itself to the front of my mind, and forces me to recognise how it made me feel . . .

A longing I’d hoped to never feel again washes over me as the emotion I’ve been fighting all day finally makes it’s way out of my body. Not one to cry openly, I immediately take a deep breath and slide my body down until my face is covered by the water to cover my tears and get a hold of my focus.

Drake. Why the hell did he need to come back now? And what was the purpose of getting captured if he was just going to see me and then escape anyway? Surely, if he just wanted to see me, he could have visited me quietly, before I was under surveillance, and told me everything he needed to. What was the point of the elaborate escape?

And why, why did he have to kiss me? I’ve spent so many years angry at him for leaving, and I was devastated at a death that never even happened. And finally,
finally
, I felt I was over him enough to move into some sort of a relationship with Gavin…

Gavin. I need to focus on Gavin.

Gavin. The night I met him, Gabby had dragged me out for drinks. It had been over a year since Drake had been gone and I’d developed a penchant for spending all of my free time in front of the television in a pair of leggings and one of Drake’s old t-shirts.

Before his loss, I had been quite outgoing and had a lot of friends within the agency who I went out with to let off a bit of steam. But once he flipped, the trust was gone and I was no longer invited out like I used to be–not that I really cared, I wasn’t exactly feeling very social. Even so, Gabby was the only agent who didn’t hold Drake’s betrayal against me, if anything; it was the thing that made us closer. I confided in her about how his loss affected me and over the course of that first year, she became my best friend. Eventually, she decided that I’d moped around for long enough and forced me to dress up and go with her to a party with people who had nothing to do with the Federal Police. That’s where I met Gavin.

His interest was obvious to me during that first meeting. He was charming and friendly, and seemed genuinely interested in getting to know me. But at the time, Drake’s memory was still an open wound that I wasn’t sure would ever heal. I wasn’t ready for any type of relationship other than friends.

So, friends we became. Almost every time Gabby invited me out with her friends, he was there. We got along so well, and each time I saw him, we spent a lot of time talking and laughing. He made me smile. That’s what I liked most about him. He was kind. He was patient and he made me smile.

I don’t remember the exact moment that our friendship crossed that invisible line into a relationship, but it had been very gradual. Starting with a gentle touch, a hand rested on a leg, or on the small of my back. Then eventually, we kissed.

It wasn’t the same kind of soul searing kiss that I’d experienced the first time Drake and I had connected, but it was something special. It was real.

From there, we began to see each other without Gabby around, and then our relationship progressed into the bedroom where we’re more than compatible with each other. Once again, there isn’t that ridiculous passion that I had with Drake, but we work well together, and have done so for several months.

I get a sense that Gavin wants more from me, but when you’ve had your heart ripped out of your chest like I have, you’re very careful about how much of yourself you share with another person. But as he always was, he’s patient and he’s understanding–which is a rare find when you’re a woman in a government enforcement position. Most men aren’t okay with their girlfriends keeping secrets from them. But Gavin claims that it’s because he’s been friends with Gabby for so long. She’s never talked to him about her job either.

"Food’s ready," he says after gently knocking on the door, interrupting my thoughts at the perfect time. I smile, reaching a hand out to him.

"How about you take your clothes off and get in the bath with me first?" I ask suggestively. "I need a bit of help relaxing." I grin as I watch him strip rather quickly, his arousal growing as he slides into the bath with me and takes me in his arms. "I’m glad you waited for me," I whisper, dipping my head to kiss him between his pecs.

He lifts my head, pulling so my mouth meets his, and he takes me in a hungry kiss, his tongue sliding over mine as I let out a light groan, filled with a sense of need.

I shift in the tub, straddling my thighs either side of him as I rub my core over his now rock hard cock, my breasts pushing against his chest, stimulating my nipples as we deepen the kiss, igniting my desire.

His hands slide down, gripping my arse and holding me steady as I shift my hips to take him inside.

"We don’t have protection in here," he murmurs, and my body lets out a desperate pang of yearning at the loss of his mouth on mine.

"I’m on the pill," I remind him. "I just want to feel you. You and nothing else," I whisper, shifting my hips so his tip sits just at my entrance. "Just you," I whisper again, focusing all of my attention on the man beneath me, and how he makes me feel.

Threading his hands into my damp brunette curls, he pulls my mouth to his again, kissing me hungrily as he drives upward and inside me. I gasp, grinding myself against him as his long, thick length fills me up.

"Holy fuck," he moans, as our hips move together, gliding in and out, up and down, rubbing so deep, my clit pressing into his pelvis with each deep thrust. "You feel so damn good," he moans, grinding himself into me as his hands move down to grip my hips and hold me to him. The pressure is enough to cause my body to release, and I moan into his mouth as my orgasm courses through me, causing my hips to twitch.

He shudders, unable to hold on as his own orgasm spills into me as he groans. Then we move together slowly, working our way back down as our kisses soften and finally stop.

Gavin lies back in the tub, and I rest my head on his chest, listening to the beating of his heart as his hands gently stoke the skin on my back. "Well, that was definitely worth waiting for," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

Lifting my head to meet his eyes, I can’t help but agree. "It was wonderful. But I’m afraid I’ve just ruined the dinner you made."

Smiling, he runs his fingers down the side of my face, watching their movement before he meets my eyes. "Fuck dinner. We’ll order pizza."

"Well in that case," I tease, grinding my hips against him, smiling as I feel his cock go rock hard inside me. "I’m still feeling a little tense."

DEEP COVER: CASE 001
BY LILLIANA ANDERSON

006

After a second rather pleasant release in the bathtub, Gavin and I order pizza and drink more wine. Although, that just manages to make me so tired I’m falling asleep at the dinner table.

"Whoa, what are you doing?" I call out as Gavin lifts me from my chair with ease and carries me into my bedroom, placing me on the left side of the bed.

"I’m putting you to bed. You’re dead on your feet. Here," he says, opening the tie on the dressing gown I’ve been wearing since the bath. "Let me help you get changed then I’ll go home so you can sleep."

I don’t protest. I just move like an obliging ragdoll as he removes the terry-towelling robe from around my body and slides a cotton nightgown over my head, being careful not to touch me in any sort of sexual way. It’s all very caring. Very Gavin.

"I’ll call you tomorrow," he assures me, pressing a kiss to my forehead and flicking off the light as he leaves the room. My eyes are so heavy that I barely register the numerals on my bedside clock before I drift off to sleep at barely nine o’clock on a Saturday night.

* * *

"God, I’ve missed your smell," Drake whispers as he inhales my scent, his mouth skimming soft kisses over my bare shoulder, up my neck and along my jaw. His strong arms wrap about my middle, pulling my body against his as his hand splays over the soft part of my stomach. I feel his arousal pressing into me while his hand moves lower, stopping just before it reaches my now throbbing core.

"Touch me," I gasp, my hand reaching behind me, threading its way into his hair and pulling his mouth to mine. As our tongues clash, he groans and his hand slides lower slipping between my folds, hitting my swollen nub and causing him to groan more intensely as he feels my wetness.

I roll onto my back and the kiss deepens, my hips moving with his hand as he urges me toward climax. I moan as his fingers slip inside me, curling forward and teasing my g-spot as he stokes me expertly, just like he does every time I have this dream.

Shifting my hands, I slide from his hair to his face where I expect to feel the usual stubbled jaw but instead, I hit a beard.

A beard?

Drake never has a beard in these dreams.

I freeze, my eyes popping open as my mind becomes fully awake and my first instinct is to raise my knee, hitting him directly in his rather large and very erect groin.

"Holy fuck!" he gasps, rolling onto his back and falling onto the floor with a thud. I hit the bedside lamp and look down at him as he writhes on the floor in agony, clutching his cock while his eyes water from the pain.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demand, angrily.

"You told me to touch you," he gasps out, the pain evident in the strain of his voice.

"Well I bloody well thought I was dreaming, didn’t I?" I hiss, hanging over the edge of the bed as I watch him on the floor.

He freezes, a self-assured grin curling up the sides if his mouth. "Wait. You still dream about me?" Rolling my eyes, I reach down, and slap him upside his head. "Ow!" he yelps.

"My dreams aren’t your business anymore," I remind him in a harsh whisper. "You’ve been gone for four fucking years, Drake. You didn’t get a single message to me to let me know you were okay. You don’t get to know things about me anymore!"

Slowly, he sits up, still grimacing a little at the pain in his crotch. "I didn’t want to put you in the position of knowing anything. I didn’t want to risk your safety."

"That’s bullshit. There’s nothing that’s safe about our job and you know it. Besides, you don’t seem to have any issue with escaping under my nose then busting into my house in the middle of the night."

"My house. My wife. I’ll come in whenever I fucking want to."

"Ex house. Ex wife. You don’t even exist anymore."

"And yet, you still dream about me."

"No. I don’t."

He grins, moving toward me as if he’s a predator stalking his prey. I lean back, and he follows me, inches away from my face until I can’t go any further. I’m on my back and he’s holding himself above me, his brown eyes glinting with mischief.

"You do," he murmurs, his eyes lowering toward my lips. I move to lift my leg, ready to knee him in the balls again, but he’s swift, and shifts his weight so his legs pin mine, and his arms stay so close to my body that my hands are pinned against his chest.

He stays above, looking down at me, his eyes studying my face as I struggle with my emotions, pinned and helpless beneath him. I’m not afraid. I know he’d never hurt me. But, having him here, in the room that was once ours, on the bed that was once ours, confuses the hell out of me.

He’s supposed to be dead. I’m supposed to be moving on. And I don’t know whether I’m happy or sad that he’s here. Or perhaps I’m both. There are so many conflicting emotions going on with me right now, confusion, anger, frustration, hurt and disappointment, mixed in with desire, relief, passion, lust, and the one feeling I could never let go of, even at my lowest point, I still feel love toward him.

I turn my head to hide the tear that’s falling out of my eye and try to surreptitiously wipe it away on the bed sheets.

"I’m under surveillance," I tell him, trying my best to keep the emotion out of my voice. "They’ll probably bust in here any second."

"No. They won’t. Your ‘surveillance’ has been taken care of."

Closing my eyes, I feel a wave of hopelessness settle over me as I realise how powerless I really am in this moment. "What did you do to them?"

"Nothing bad," he whispers. "I’ve just given them some bogus orders to drive back into town. They won’t be back for at least two hours when they realise they’ve been duped. And by then, I’ll be long gone."

"Long gone," I repeat. "That’s what you do best isn’t it? You run. You take off."

"I’m sorry," he whispers, his voice so soft and gentle as he lowers his head and presses his forehead against mine. "I’m sorry that I left you, Trix. I can’t even begin to tell you how much I’ve missed you, or how many times I’ve wanted to visit you in the night and let you know I’m all right. And I can’t tell you how much it hurts to see that you’ve moved on from me when I have never moved on from you."

My tears flow faster now, and I have no way of hiding them. "That’s not fair, Drake. I thought you were–"

"I know," he breathes. "I know. And I’m sorry. It simply wasn’t safe for me to come back here. It wasn’t safe for me to get word to you."

"That’s bullshit and you know it. You could have found a way. There is always a way."

I move my body, trying to get away from him, and he releases me so I can sit up. The first thing I do is wipe at my eyes, keeping my back to him as I compose myself.

He reaches out a hand and runs it down my back gently, sending a shiver of confusion through my body. I stand up and move away from him, leaving my room and heading to the kitchen where I take a glass from the cupboard and fill it with water, gulping it down as I try to reconcile the fact that Drake was just in my bed, touching me.

I think of Gavin. Kind, sweet Gavin, who left me tonight so I could rest, not so I could cheat on him with Drake. Although, the way Drake talks, you’d think I was cheating on him… although, technically, I suppose I am. If he’s not really dead, then that makes our marriage still valid…or does it? I’m so confused.

"Don’t," I whisper, knowing he’s standing not far behind me. I can feel the heat of his body and sense his longing on my skin. "Just tell me why you’re here."

I feel his presence withdraw as he moves over to the other side of the island bench, the small light above, highlighting each beautiful angle of his face. He’s so much tidier now than when I saw him last, his hair clean and pulled back and twisted low on the back of his head. But he has a nice looking black eye and I can tell that his nose is swollen. I long to reach out and touch him, to turn the clock back to a time before that case, when he would often be standing right where he is now. A time when he was still my Drake.

"I have information for you," he says, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a zip drive and a vial of clear liquid, placing them both on the counter between us.

I move closer, picking up the vial and looking at it intently.

"What’s this?"

"That, is the drug Le Doux is selling to the horse racing elite for ten grand a pop. It’s a peace offering that I want you to give Greer to show him I’m still willing to hold up my end of the bargain. And this," he says, pushing the thumb drive toward me, "Is for your eyes only. It’s evidence to prove that I didn’t kill my handler," he informs me.

"Evidence that you didn’t kill your handler? Why are you giving it to me? How long have you had this? You could have given this to Commander Haines, or even sent it to Greer, or Emery, they were in charge of your capture. They would have called it all off if you could prove you didn’t do it."

"I tried that."

"I don’t understand. Why haven’t they done anything then?"

"I don’t know. Either they don’t care that it wasn’t me, or they haven’t been able to see the footage yet."

"Footage? You have video proof it wasn’t you?"

He nods.

"You can’t see their faces. But you can see Agent Blackwood. You see them execute him and push him in the water. There’s also an encrypted payroll file on there that you’re going to have to get into. I haven’t wanted to trust anyone else with it. Somewhere on there, you’ll find their names, along with a bunch of other Feds who are on the take from Le Doux."

"So, you want me to deliver this evidence, and tell Greer that you aren’t guilty of what they want to charge you with?"

He presses his lips together in a slight smile. "I’m guilty of a hell of a lot of things, Trix. But killing my handler isn’t one of them. I’m giving you information to help weed out the people who drove me into this life, who took away my choices and drove me away from you."

"And then what?"

"And then maybe you’ll trust me enough so we can help each other to clean up a whole lot of mess in this world."

I reach out and pick up the zip drive and turn it around in my fingers, studying it as I think about what it might contain, proof that Drake was innocent, a list of agents who are secretly working against us all. "Ok," I say, lifting my head to tell him that I’ll take the evidence in, but when I look up, my mouth open and ready to speak, Drake is already gone.

I’m really going to have to figure out how the hell he does that…