Overwhelm Me (19 page)

Donovan grins as he hugs her back. “It’s really wonderful to meet you too, Mrs. Marshall.”

“Nonsense, call me Julie.” My mom playfully swats him. I smile at the interaction between them.

I was so not expecting my family to be here, but Donovan is taking it like a champ. I walk over to Mr. Trent and give him a big hug.

“Thank you so much,” I whisper. He smiles warmly. He’s not a man of many words, but he has a huge heart.

The hostess has already set up our tables, and she leads the way. She needed to add a chair for Donovan. He holds out a chair for my mom, and I see her a smile. “Such a gentleman,” she gushes. Donovan smirks as he holds out my chair for me. He bends down to whisper in my ear, “How am I doing?”

I giggle and whisper back, “Amazingly, considering this was just thrown on you at the last second.”

We all sit and look at the menus. Donovan lets Jon have the seat next to me, so he is sitting directly across the table in front of me. I flash my eyes to him and see him looking from my mother to me. He pipes up, “I can see the resemblance in you two. It’s uncanny.”

My mother flushes easily, just like myself. She hits my thigh under the table. I glance at her and grin. I can tell she likes him, and it makes my heart soar. I needed my mother’s approval. Jon is going to be a little tougher to win over. He is just too protective over me, especially since Matt happened.

“Hey, Allie, do you still want one of those mucho margaritas?” Livey calls from down the table.

The waitress has started taking drink orders from the other end of the table.

“I think I might pass on that tonight. I’ll just have water for now.” I don’t really feel comfortable drinking in front of my mother.

Our waitress, Kristen, is very attentive and friendly, not to mention extremely cute with her super blonde hair and blue eyes. I always liked this Applebee’s because of the service. Once she reaches Donovan though, she starts to stutter. Oh, good grief. Again? Donovan rolls his eyes at me and orders sweet tea. My mom speaks softly, “Sweetheart, if you are going to date a man like him, then you better get used to the stares. He’s gorgeous!”

I narrow my eyes a bit at the waitress and realize my mother is right. Donovan is going to get hit on no matter where we go. My only fear is that he will reciprocate the flirtation when I’m not around. What if I wasn’t there in Bloomingdale’s with him? Would he have let Jennifer hang on him? I feel sick at the thought. My own insecurities are going to be my downfall. I just wonder if I’m not setting myself up for a heartbreak.

I try as hard as I can to push the nasty thoughts down, but they keep coming back.We order our food after our waitress brings the drinks. I order the first thing that catches my eye, but I’m not hungry now. My stomach is in knots, and I actually feel sick. Donovan eyes me from across the table, concern and worry in his blue eyes. I flash the biggest grin I can manage to let him know everything is alright, when it isn’t.

Our server eventually brings out our food and lingers too long around Donovan, brushing her arm against his.I stare down at the Cajun pasta I had ordered, but I can’t even think about food right now. My mind is in turmoil. I am vaguely aware of the conversations going on around me.

Mom and Mr. Trent are chatting about her trip down here with Jon chiming in every now and then. Livey and Donovan are talking about god knows what. I stand to excuse myself to the bathroom.

Donovan stands with me, as if to follow. I wave him off. “I’ll be right back. I’m just going to the bathroom.” Donovan, looking dejected, sits back down, and I feel his eyes on me as I walk away. I just need to calm down before I vomit.

I lock myself in a small stall, trying to hold back my emotions. I can’t go out there, my face blotchy and red from crying. Maybe it’s just all in my head. I’m sure that Donovan can be faithful. Or can he? Fuck, I’ve only met him this week. How can I be so sure he won’t put his dick in the next pretty girl he sees? I shudder at the thought. How can I possibly say he’s mine?

Because of the things he’s done for me already, I think to myself. He has obviously shown that he cares about me. He planned the sweet night at his house. He protected me from that scary son of a bitch, Jeremy. He held and rocked me as I spilled my guts to him. He has shaken off all advances that girls have made on him when he’s with me.

But is that enough? What if it’s just because I’m a good lay? He says it was only sex with those girls, except for Claire. But how do I know that? How do I know he didn’t do the same sweet things for them before he got in their pants and dipped out? What if I’m the best fuck he’s had in a while, and he just wants to get his kicks a few more times?

I’m completely at war with myself. My heart is torn, and I can only blame myself. I let my guard down and allowed Donovan in. I know I should have kept my heart in check. What the fuck am I doing? Donovan is going to get bored with me and my crying fits. Though this is a lot of effort just to get a girl in the sack.

My thoughts are all over the place. I need to pull myself together and go back out there. I cannot let my family nor Donovan see my heartache. I need some time to think about this, but I can’t do it with him around. I decide to not stay the night at Donovan’s tonight and let my mom and Jon stay at my apartment.

I go to the sink and splash some water on my face. I stare at myself in the mirror, and I look awful. There are dark circles under my eyes, and I have to pinch my cheeks to get some color back to my pale skin. I hold my head high and walk back to the table, resolving to not let Donovan take advantage of me. I take my seat as Donovan looks up at me with his brows furrowed. “Are you okay?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I left it short and sweet. I try not to make eye contact with him; it’s just too painful right now. I look at Mr. Trent instead. “Thank you again for flying my family in for my graduation.”

“Think nothing of it. I’m very happy to do it.” He waves it off.

I didn’t see much of anything through the rest of dinner. My mom takes my hand under the table and squeezes it. I hold back the tears that are threatening to come down any second. I know she’s concerned about the change in my attitude. I can’t explain it myself. I feel like my heart is pulling me in two directions. I have to figure out which direction I will take.

Donovan has been quiet as well. He knows something is wrong, but he doesn’t want to call me out in front of my friends and family. He steals glances at me. There is a horrible, sad look to his eyes that I haven’t seen before. I look away before I can be caught in his stare.

We finish dinner, and Mr. Trent pays for the whole thing, with much arguing from my mom and Donovan. He is a stubborn man, and Livey takes after him in that way. I grin at the thought.

We stand to leave, and I say to mom, “You and Jon should come stay at my apartment. There’s not much room, but you are more than welcome.”

“Honey, that’s okay. Jon and I are gonna go find a hotel close by to you.” She pats my shoulder, and I start to argue back when Donovan speaks up.

“You two are more than welcome to stay at my place. I have more than enough room, and there‘s a bathroom in each bedroom.”

I stand there, shocked that he has offered his house to my family. My mouth parts open, and I realize how stupid I’ve been. How can I not see how sweet and generous this man is? The nasty thoughts from before slip away, and I walk to him. He looks down at me, then back to my mom. “I won’t take ‘no’ for an answer, either, Julie.” He winks at the woman that birthed me, and she blushes.

“Okay, Donovan, you win, as long as it’s not an inconvenience for you.”

“Absolutely not! I would love to have you two come stay at my house.” Donovan slowly puts his arm around my shoulder. I think he’s trying to gauge my mood. I lean into him, and I hear him exhale with relief. I snake my arms around his waist. Jon eyes us, and he smiles at me.

“Okay, Donovan. I want to see what your city boy pad looks like anyway.” My brother slaps Donovan on the shoulder, surprising him. I chuckle because I know that’s Jon’s way of showing he likes you. He’s such a country boy.

Everyone sticks around in the restaurant to say their goodbyes. Donovan takes my hand and leads me outside. The warm breeze of Georgia hits my face as he holds the door open for me. He stands there, looking at me. I feel his blue eyes searching my soul for answers to my personality change earlier. I smile shyly at him and run my fingers along his stubble. I take in a deep breath. “I’m sorry for the way I acted at dinner. I just had some stuff on my mind.”

“What stuff?” Donovan says curtly. His tone throws me a bit.

“Real heavy shit that I don’t want to talk about right now.” I narrow my eyes.

“Heavy shit about me?” he says quietly. That same sad look creeps into his face, and it’s heartbreaking.

“Well, yes. I just want to know if I’m good enough for you. You can have your pick of women.

I just don’t want to be crushed again.” I hang my head, partly in shame and partly because I’m telling him a hard truth.

“Damn it, Allie. I don’t know what else to say or do to get my point across!” He runs his hands through his hair. I’ve learned he does this when he’s either pissed off or anxious. He looks a little bit of both right now.

“Look, it’s all good now, okay? I know I have some shit I have to work on, like my self esteem and the jealousy factor. I’m just scared that…” I trail off, unable to speak my biggest fear.

“You’re scared that what?” He cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes.

“Scared that you will leave and find someone better, okay?” I throw my hands up in the air in frustration. “Look at you for goodness sake!”

A smirk curls on Donovan’s lips. “You really think that I’m that great of a prize?”

My brow furrows at his reaction to my pain. Before I can say another word, he grabs my face and kisses me, deeply. He takes my mouth as his prisoner, ravaging my tongue with his. I sigh. This is what I need, some reassurance. I let my walls down again and welcome my man back with open arms.

Donovan helps Jon grab the luggage from the rental car my mom drove. I watch them through the window in the living room, hoping and praying this is a good idea for them to stay. My mom is busy giving herself a tour of the kitchen. My mom loves to cook, and I have a feeling she will insist on making all the meals for us during their stay. My heart is so happy my family is here with me. I walk into the kitchen to see what she is up to.

“Hi, honey! This place is beautiful! I can’t get over how modern it is,” my mom exclaims, obviously impressed. “So anyway, how did you meet Donovan? He seems like such a great guy.”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” I smile at her, recalling that fateful morning. I giggle and my mom grins back at me.

“Try me.”

“I was on the way to my last final, and I knocked him over while racing to class. We ended up being at the same bar that evening, and we really hit it off.” I glance at my mother, and she laughs. “Yeah, it is kinda funny,” I smirk at her.

“That’s not why I’m laughing. I’m laughing because your father and I met in a similar way.” I cock my eyebrows up at her. “You did?”

“Yes, we did. I was in the office at my high school running an errand for a teacher. When I came out, your father almost barreled me over, knocking my books out of my hand.” She closes her eyes as she relives the memory in her mind. “He stopped to help me, and our hands touched. We just stared at each other, and that was it. We knew we were meant for each other at that exact moment.”

I can’t believe I have never heard the story of how my parents meet. Tears start to prick my eyes as I think about my daddy. Mom steps around the island and comes to my rescue. “Now, there will be no crying this weekend. Jon and I are only here until Sunday, and we are going to enjoy every minute of our time together.” She kisses my forehead, just like Donovan does.

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Good, now, let’s go help your brother and boyfriend with the bags.” She winks at me and takes my hand, and we walk into in the living room.

Donovan and Jon are walking in as we come around the corner. “Here, let me help you boys with that.” I grin and reach to help take a bag. Jon throws it at me, being the butthead that he is, and laughs. “Here, sis. That’s mine, and it has my underwear in it. Don’t make me put it on your head like I did when you were little.”

“You’re so dumb. Jon.”

“Yeah, but you love me.” Jon winks at me and punches my arm.

“Ow, jerk!” I rub my arm, then punch him back. “I missed you, too.”

All the while, Donovan is laughing hysterically at our sibling banter. Jon and I both smile at each other and join in the laughter. “You two are so funny,” Donovan says.

“Yeah, Jon’s a riot,” I stick my tongue out at him. I really have missed my big brother. Jon takes the bags and walks upstairs. My mom has walked back into the kitchen, leaving Donovan and I alone. He walks over to me and tilts my chin up, so I’m looking into his eyes. He plants his lips softly on mine. It’s such a sweet kiss, and I of course want more.

“I’m really glad that your family can stay here. They seem so nice.”