Overcome (17 page)

Chapter 36

Parker

It was nothing short of a miracle that Parker didn’t get a speeding ticket on the way home. When his dad called, he was angry at first, that they didn’t make him stay home this weekend. His mom was fine other than ill from the chemo.

The room had transformed since he’d been there last. It was dark. The drawn curtains let in a slice of light that fell across the bed. His dad sat in a wooden kitchen chair, holding his mom’s hand. Her breathing was slow and loud.

His little sister, Kamberlee, was lying in bed on her side.

Spencer stood against the wall, his arms across his chest and face toward the ground.

Owen was the first to spot him, sitting at the foot of the bed, his face toward their dad. His voice was a low mumble and Parker couldn’t hear what was being said.

“Hey Parker.” Owen’s voice was quiet.

Parker’s dad turned to him. His eyes red and watery. His hair stood up in tufts.

“Hey buddy,” his dad smiled at him.

“Is she?” Parker let his words hang in the air, and he hoped it was a false alarm. But yet didn’t at the same time. He looked at his mom and didn’t want to see her like this. He knew his reasons for wanting her to last were selfish.

“Any minute now,” his dad whispered and looked back toward her. “Parker’s here, honey.”  He lifted her hand to his mouth.

Owen stood and made his way to Parker. He threw his arm around his shoulders. “We’ve all said goodbye,” he nodded, toward the bed, “think she’s waiting on you.”

Parker’s heart clenched. He didn’t want to say goodbye. Goodbye meant she wasn’t coming back. What if there was a last minute cure … or miracle?

“Go on.” Owen nudged him when he wouldn’t move.

Parker’s legs were lead. His eyes burned. His heart shattered.

“Mom.” He fought to keep himself from bawling. His lips quivered and mouth dried.

His dad’s hand rested on his back as he knelt down beside the bed. He wanted to look away, yet he couldn’t. She’d lost so much weight when he wasn’t paying attention, when he was going about living his life while she was dying.

Kammie sniffed.

His mom’s lips were dry and shriveled. They weren’t hers. Her skin was yellow and it clung to her bones. It was as if she was already dead.

He looked at his dad, who gave a small tilt of his head. “Tell her you’re going to be okay,” he whispered.

Parker swallowed the lump in his throat.

“She can’t talk, but she can hear you.”

He turned back to his mom, sniffing the draining from his nose. “I’m going to be all right, mom.” His voice came out choppy, and he didn’t believe the words as they left his mouth.

Kammie sniffed again, and his dad patted his back. Owen squeezed his shoulder.

She didn’t respond, didn’t move or indicate she heard him in anyway. The only sounds in the room were the sniffles coming from his dad, Kammie, and Owen.

Owen was crying. Parker couldn’t ever remember seeing Owen cry. Not when he broke his arm jumping off the barn roof when they were kids. Not when his high school girlfriend of two years broke up with him. Not last week when they found out she was dying. But now he cried.

His mom’s breaths became shallow and longer and longer apart. Until finally she took one long gasp of air, and then her chest stopped moving.

It wasn’t real. Parker stared at his mom, and he imagined life back in her. He imagined her breathing again, springing her eyes open and saying ‘gotcha.’ He wished she would anyway. Kammie threw herself over her mom and shook with sobs.

Spencer stalked out of the room with his head down, and Owen and his dad consoled Kammie, pulling her away and holding her as she rocked and cried.

The room spun and closed in as Parker looked around his surroundings. It was too dark. He needed light … he needed air … he needed
Carly
.

Parker’s heart no longer beat in his chest. He stood and ran outside, the blinding sun was refreshing. The smell from his mom’s flowers made him collapse in the middle of the yard. His face fell into his hands. It was supposed to take longer. He was supposed to have more time. Sure it was going to kill her either way … but it shouldn’t have been so soon, too soon.

He wanted to call Carly, but the cries wouldn’t stop. His chest ached and he couldn’t catch his breath.

When he finally gained composure, he sat back and slid against the pole holding up the gazebo in the middle of the garden. Something that was still here. Something that was her. Something she left behind.

He wiped his face dry with the back of his arm and steadied his breathing before he lifted his cell phone out of his pocket and swiped across Carly’s name.

“Did she?” Carly said when she answered.

Parker opened his mouth to speak, but words didn’t come only more sobs.

“Parker.” Her voice was light and held an urgency. “I’ll be there in a few hours, okay?”

He still couldn’t speak.

“I’m coming, I promise,” she spoke again.

He dropped his phone to the ground and buried his face in his knees. His arms folded across them.

*****

It didn’t take long for the people to start showing up with their hugs, frowns and food. Parker sat numb at the kitchen table. It happened so fast he wasn’t sure what to think or feel. When the women waltzed through telling him they were sorry and patting him on the shoulder, back, or even one of the silver haired ones rubbed the top of his head like he was a little boy, he didn’t respond.

Kammie embraced the hugs and the comfort from all their aunts, grandma, and dad’s business partners and their wives.

How useless it all was. Was a hug going to bring her back? Erase the last week? Was a plate of chicken going to change the fact he’d lost his biggest counselor, his mentor, the one he went to for anything?

But then there was the one woman who walked in the door and made him breathe again. She’d brought the only thing he wanted. Amy Ley offered his dad a hug and condolences before stepping into the kitchen with Carly by her side.

The kitchen chair screeched when he pushed away from the table and hopped to his feet.

“Parker, sweetie, I’m sorry,” Amy frowned.

Parker didn’t respond to her as he walked past. He pulled Carly into his arms and hugged her tight against him.

Chapter 37

Carly

Their audience made it a little awkward for Carly as Parker continued to hug her like she was a life line.

He didn’t speak.

Owen said he’d been silent ever since their mom passed, just sitting at the table staring straight ahead.

Carly’s dad wasn’t happy about their spontaneous road trip, and it took her mom some convincing though she wasn’t sure how he would be once they were back home.

Her mother came through, making the proper arrangements to have the hotel covered for the next two days. She’d planned to call the school tomorrow and get Carly excused from her classes until after the funeral.

She’d never thought she’d be staying at her boyfriend’s house with her mother, but if it meant she got to be there for Parker, she wasn’t going to complain.

“Let’s go to the pond,” Parker finally whispered to her, not loud enough for anyone else to hear over the busyness of the kitchen.

“Parker, aren’t you going to introduce us?” an older lady asked as she rearranged the many casseroles sitting on the marble counter.

Parker’s dad cleared his throat. “Yes, mom, this is Parker’s girlfriend, Carly and her mother…” Kurt nodded to Amy.

“Amy.” Carly’s mom brushed her hands over her khaki shorts then held it out for Parker’s grandmother. “Amy Ley.”

“Parker, I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.” His grandmother shook Amy’s hand then winked at Parker.

Parker unfolded himself from Carly, but squeezed his hand tightly around hers.

Adults were talking about how horrible and unpredictable cancer was, and Parker pulled Carly out the French doors behind the kitchen table.

He led her through his mom’s garden, where they’d eaten last week. It saddened Carly that Linda would never see her flowers again. She hoped that if there was a heaven, Linda fields and fields of blossoms.

She didn’t speak as Parker tugged her through the forest of pine trees and over the hill. Finally, they stopped at the pond. Carly slipped off her shoes. Parker stepped onto the dock, with her hand still in his.

As soon as they were standing on the wooden planks, he turned toward her. His hands gripped her hips and he pulled her close. His eyes were hollow as he breathed heavy and crashed his lips on to hers.

Her heart leapt and spun and flipped; her stomach the same. She slipped her arms over his shoulders and he lowered her to the dock. She buried her hands deep in his hair. Once her back was flat against the planks, Parker’s hand ran across the bottom of her tank top. His lips massaged hers as he felt her hip under her shirt. Carly shivered when his calloused palm moved up her stomach, then back down, until he grabbed the bottom of her tank top and pushed it up. He lifted his head, his eyes hooded and staring into hers. Her heart sped in her chest and just as the tank top was almost over her bra, she managed to choke out the word. “Stop.”  She didn’t know where that came from. She didn’t think she wanted him to stop.

Her worst fear came over her when his jaw stiffened and his forehead wrinkled. He pushed away from her without saying a word. He stood up and turned his back toward her. Facing the pond he reached behind his head, his elbows stuck out like arrows when he clasped hands on the back of his neck, and pointed his face to the sky.

Carly adjusted her shirt over her stomach, and leaned up on her elbows as she waited for her breathing to slow down. She watched Parker’s back move with each of his breaths.

The longer it took for Parker to speak, the more Carly regretted stopping him.

She rose to her feet, brushed the debris from the back of her legs and stepped toward him. “I’m sorry, I … I didn’t mean it. You didn’t have to stop.” She slid her arms around his waist and rested her cheek between his shoulder blades. “Please say something.”

“Carly, it’s not that.” He spun around, and took her face in his hands. “I would never be mad at you for not wanting to. I couldn’t be mad at you for stopping me. I … just ... please don’t ever think you
have
to do that.”

Carly bit her bottom lip and nodded as the tears clouded her vision. She hated that she was crying when he was the one who lost his mom, not her.  She nodded and looked down at their hands against his chest. His were closed around hers, and she could feel the rapid beat of his heart.

Parker pulled her into a hug before she could say anything else. “I’m just glad you’re here.” He kissed the side of her head and then in the faintest of voices, she thought she heard, “I love you.”

She closed her eyes and pretended she didn’t hear it. Maybe she didn’t, maybe she imagined it. If he did say it, he didn’t say anything else, and she wasn’t saying it back.

“Should we get to the house?” Carly whispered, and looked at the pine covered hill.

Parker nodded, turned, and slipped his hand into hers as they made their hike back up.

“Great job, little brother, couldn’t have said a better line myself,” Spencer emerged from the trees. Carly jolted as he sauntered toward them. Had he been watching? Even though nothing had happened Carly couldn’t help but feeling a little dirty. If she hadn’t have stopped Parker they probably would have and Spencer … what? Would he have watched and enjoyed the show? Carly took the arm that wasn’t connected to Parkers and placed it across her stomach like that was going to hide her from the creep.

“Shut up, Spencer.” Parker pushed his brother’s shoulder, knocking him back a little as he passed him.  Parker’s grip grew tighter around Carly’s as he ascended the hill a little faster than Carly could manage. Her feet slipped off her flip-flops. Her heals dug into the prickly ground. Branches smacked and stung against her legs, shoulders, and face.

“Parker, slow down.” She barely managed to get the words out through her jagged breaths. She ripped her hand out of his and bent over, grabbing her knees until she could catch her breath.

“Shoot,” he spoke in a clipped whisper, “I don’t ...” the dried pine needles cracked under his feet as he began to pace back and forth. “I didn’t mean … Spencer just …”

Carly righted herself, and narrowed her eyes as the sun pierced through the tree tops. “What’s the deal with you two anyway? Your mom just died and you two are bickering like little kids.”

Parker’s face was stiff, and he held his hands behind his neck. He didn’t look at her. He looked above her. “He’s ... he’s … I know I sound like a baby here … but he’s always been a jerk to me.”

“Geez Parker, my brother’s a jerk, too. So I understand that. But I’d like to think that if we just lost our mom, we’d at least be there for one another.”

Parker looked up at the sky. He ruffled his already unruly hair, opened his mouth and then shut it again. He blinked a few times then finally looked at Carly. “You’re right,” he shrugged. “I haven’t even had time to process everything, and I’m already fighting with my brother, but I don’t want him … it’s one thing for him to be an ass to me, but I don’t want him doing it to you.”

“That’s great and all, but,” Carly held her hands out, “in case you haven’t noticed, I’m a tough girl. I can take care of myself.”

He smiled his crooked smile at her, “Yeah, I know you can take care of yourself.” He stepped toward her. “Snarly.” The ground crunched beneath his feet and he held his arms out she more than willingly fell into them, settling hers around his waist. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to take care of you.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to take care of me,” she smirked toward him.

His chest rumbled against her when he chuckled. “Let’s get back to the house.”