Overcome (15 page)

He shrugged his shoulders and stepped away just far enough. “It’s cool.”

“Hey, Jake is nobody.” She said in a rush.

Parker’s face was stiff when he looked at her.

“Okay, well, he was …” She hated admitting this. “He was someone I made out with whenever … we were bored, but I haven’t … I don’t … I just wanted to get back at his girlfriend.”

“It’s okay.” Parker said, but his voice was flat, and his jaw twitched. It was clearly not okay.

“I’ve turned him down every time he’s texted me since … since you and I …”

“You and I what?”

Carly glanced down at her nails. She’d repainted them since the weekend, but they were already chipping again. “Since I started caring about you.” The sentence rattled as it left her throat. “Well, I guess that isn’t entirely true … he was at my house with my brother the night you didn’t call me and I just thought you blew me off … so I did … I did kiss him, but I haven’t since and I’ve told him I’m done … he won’t leave me alone.”

She crossed her arms and examined her diet soda, not wanting to see him hurt. His mom’s words wrung in her ears,
please be careful with his heart
. She wanted to be. It isn’t that she didn’t want to be, but she had to be careful with her own.

“Its fine,” Parker whispered. His hand flat on the counter by the book. “But you’re worth more than that.” He hunched over the book again, his shoulders rigid and his back toward her.

She stewed on his words for a minute then slammed her soda down. “Okay what’s that even supposed to mean? I’m worth more than
what
?” She swung her legs off the counter and hopped to the ground.

Parker tilted his head up, but didn’t fix his posture. His big brown eyes blinked at her. “You’re worth more than somebody’s random hookup.”

“You don’t have that right to tell me what I’m worth or not.” She placed her hands on her hips.

“You’re right,” he said even though she’d expected him to argue. “I’m not your boyfriend.” His words came out clipped and he looked back down at her paper.

She wanted to shout. She wanted to scream at him at the top of her lungs, just to prove her point. But she had no point. How could she be mad at him for not understanding her need to bury her pain under making out with whomever?

She wasn’t stupid. She knew Jake used her as much as she was using him. Did it make her feel any better? Temporarily maybe, but she did usually feel like trash after. As long as she didn’t think about it, she’d been okay with it.

Not since Parker came along. She didn’t feel used or violated or like the slut everyone said she was when she was with him. He made her feel like a normal person, with no label, something she hadn’t felt like in almost a year.

She watched him as he went back to work on her homework. His tense jaw and shoulders relaxed as he wrote the next step of the problem down. Maybe math was to him what making out was to her?

The need for him to laugh with her or smile or something was greater than her need to be stubborn.

“Remember me telling you I didn’t want to be the type of girl that sat around and-”

“All right, I got it. You just want a fling, nothing too emotional. I’m not going to expect you to wait around for me to call.” His hair swished out of his eyes as he flipped his face toward her. “Now can we just get back to this?” He pointed to the homework like it was his not hers.

“No,” she pulled the book off the counter and slammed it shut. “I need you to listen to me.” She fought the tears burning her eyes.

Chapter 32

Parker

Parker didn’t want it to bother him. He didn’t want to feel compassion looking at her. She stood on the other side of the counter, her palms flat on the surface between them, and her text book tossed on the floor. Her eyes blinked rapidly like she was trying to get rid of tears. Why couldn’t she just let it go?

“I don’t want to be that girl … I told you that …”

Parker took in a long breath and rubbed the back of his neck. His hair fell over his hand. She was right, he did need a haircut. The lights on the ceiling shone bright in his eyes. He stared like he’d forget what she looked like standing there almost in tears. It wasn’t easy to hear about her with other guys, even Colten who was in her past, someone who didn’t even exist anymore. That made him think of his mom, how long would it be before she no longer …

“Every day this week I couldn’t wait to do my math homework … why? Because it meant I got to talk to you.” Her voice waivered and he made himself look at her.

She shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest. Her hair floated out of her eyes as she shook her head. “And just knowing that I’m able to talk to you makes my days … better. And … and I don’t … I didn’t want to be the girl who waited around for a guy to call. But I am.” Her last three words were a whisper as she looked at the ground.

Like a dummy, he didn’t respond. He didn’t know what to say.

“I like the butterflies that go haywire in my stomach when your face shows up on my computer screen, and I like how my heart races when I see your name on my phone with one of your random goofy texts.” She waved her phone at him.  “Does it scare the crap out of me? Yes, but I can’t stand here and tell you I don’t like it. And I’ve been waiting four-very-long days to see you again. I don’t want fight.”

She sniffed and swiped her purple fingernails under her eyes. Her eyes continued that crazy-speed blink thing she’d been doing as she looked at him.

He knew looking away was probably stupid, but he did. He looked outside at the few cars in the parking lot and beyond at the traffic speeding by. What should he say to that?

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled and when he turned back toward her she was bent over gathering her stuff. “That was probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever said.” She continued picking up her books. “Look if you just want to call all this off, I’ll just ask my teacher for extra help. No big deal.” She stood and carried her text to the cabinet, not looking back at him.

Once he decided to move his feet, it only took him three long strides to reach her. He placed his hands on her shoulders and spun her around. Tears streaked her cheeks, and she glanced down at the floor. Her hair covered her face.

“Look at me.” His voice came out rougher than he liked. He waited a second and when she didn’t look, he continued anyway. “I have my reasons I don’t want you to stay with me … and believe me it is not just because I don’t want you to.”

Her shoulders rose and she sniffed again, raising her hand up to her face before she looked up at him. “I don’t understand you.” She laughed under her tears.

Though she was still crying her giggles made him smile.

“I’ve tried to explain, but you keep telling me you don’t want to know.”

Her bottom lip disappeared in her mouth.

Parker dipped his face down to hers, when he pressed his lips to her mouth, he tasted the salty tears. He smiled against her as her hands found his hair that she proclaimed she hated.  Parker slid his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him before backing her against the cabinet.

When Carly let out a whimper, Parker forced himself to pull back. He didn’t want to take things too far too fast, and they were in the middle of her work place. He pulled away just in time, because a family of four came walking in, an irritated mother and father and a boy and a girl who were bickering back and forth.

Parker glanced back at Carly after looking to see who walked in. He was pretty sure Judd wouldn’t approve. “I’ll be back.” He winked at her flushed face before walking away.

Parker went to his room. He stood at the big white sink and splashed cold water on his face. He was glad her mom wouldn’t let her stay, because he wasn’t sure he could keep to his resolve to take things slow.

Not only was he determined not to make the same mistake with her as he did with Haley, but he also didn’t want Carly to think he was like every other guy who obviously used her. Though, if she continued to throw herself at him he didn’t know how much longer he could hold off.

He sat down on the edge of the bed. Not bothering to flip on the light, the sun glowing through the sheer curtains was enough. His knee bounced and he thought of her words to him. Could he live up to her expectations? What she said about him, she could change her mind once she got to know him, but all that mattered was that he felt the same about her. Though he didn’t take one minute with his mom for granted, he couldn’t wait to get back to Carly tonight.

His phone buzzed in his pocket. He reached for it, not expecting her, but he should have.

That was cruel.
He smiled at Carly’s text, imagining her pout lip and her flickering lashes.

Chapter 33

Carly

“I can’t believe you talked me into this.” The wind whipped Carly’s hair in her face. She swiped at the strands with the back of her hand.

Bree’s flip-flops clipped as she walked beside her along the sandy beach. Bailey was strapped to the front of her in one of those baby carriers that made her resemble a turtle. Chubby little arms and legs poked out four holes.

“Oh admit it, you didn’t come here for me, you came for Parker.” Bree winked.

That was somewhat true. Carly wanted to see Bree just as much. She’d been experiencing all the excitement of the new relationship, and she wanted to share it with her best friend, but Bree had been too busy.

When Parker asked her to come, she was hurt that Bree hadn’t asked her herself. Even though she always said no when Bree invited her to her youth group functions, it still hurt she didn’t ask. With everything else going on, she’d like to think her best friend still wanted her around.

“I’ve missed you this summer.” Carly carried her beach blanket under her arm.

“Good thing Parker’s been entertaining you.” Bree giggled and Bailey’s arms jerked straight out. This only made Bree giggle again as she patted Bailey’s back.  “Awe, Bails.” She kissed the top of her fuzzy head.

“Look at you freaking out your child.” Carly spread the blanket over the sand.

Carly lowered herself onto the ground and looked up to see Bree with one hand waving behind her and the other sticking straight out.

“Do you need help or something?” Carly’s laughter echoed off the choppy lake as she popped back up, feeling horrible for not thinking about Bree with the baby.

“Yes, please.” Bree gasped for breath as she stood straight and unhooked Bailey out of her carrier. Bree transferred her to Carly’s arms.

Carly stiffened like she did every time she held Bailey.

Bree’s big floppy bun on the top of her head drooped when she looked down to untangle herself from the carrier. “I can’t remember who got this for me, but I’ve come to the conclusion it would be easier just to carry her.” Bree pulled a strap from behind her head then her arm.

Bailey let out a whimper.

“I think she wants her mama back.” Carly stared down at the adorable baby she had no clue what to do with.

“Bree, let me get that.” Garrett jogged toward her. Carly thanked God in her mind for Garrett as he helped Bree untangle the straps. He chuckled when she was stuck with her arms in the air.

“Gare, stop. It’s not funny.” Bree’s voice came out whiney.

Bailey’s tiny lip poked out and quivered.

“Hurry up, mom and dad, she’s going to-” Carly said through her grit smile just before Bailey wailed.

Carly knew babies liked to be rocked or bounced or something, but she was afraid of dropping her if she moved.

Garrett pulled the carrier the rest of the way off, and Bree’s shirt rode up almost to her boobs. She squealed, hurrying to cover herself. Her cheeks turned bright pink when she looked back at the crowd that was hovered around the food.

From where they were sitting, the Christian rock music was just faint enough to hear the beat, but not the words.

When Nate prayed over the food, Carly just stared at her feet and fingered the rubber bracelets on her wrist. She didn’t want to be disrespectful, but it wasn’t something she was comfortable with.

Garrett mumbled in Bree’s ear before giving her a quick kiss. Then he finally retrieved the squalling Bailey from Carly.

“What’s the matter, Bailers?” Garrett spoke in a high pitched voice as he cradled Bailey in his arms and bounced her.

Carly resisted the urge to make fun of his baby voice, but it did silence Bailey.

He looked up at Bree after Bailey’s cries turned into coo’s, “I’m going to take her to see Miley, she’s asking about her.” Miley was Garrett’s brother’s girlfriend and Hudson’s ex-girlfriend.

“Okay,” Bree said, lowering herself onto the blanket. She pulled the already long white shirt down over her thighs.

Carly sat beside her. She grabbed the bottom of her tank top and began to pull it over her head then she noticed all the girls in the group were in either tankini’s or one pieces.

“There’s not a chance you wore a bikini tonight is there?” Carly asked.

“Who me?” Bree laughed and shook her head, “Not a chance. This body is going to be hidden all summer.” She tugged on the oversized shirt again.

“Bree, you don’t look bad.”

“Ugh, my stomach is nasty.” She leaned back and bent her knees up.

Carly definitely wasn’t removing her tank top now.

“Ahh, this feels good to just be. Garrett’s mom and Miley and Lexi are great when they’re around. Miley almost hogs her and Declan, he’s just a little freaked out about it. You hear they got engaged? Crazy huh?”

Carly slipped her feet out of her shoes and buried her toes in the sand. She’d forgotten Bree had a whole other life outside her now. Carly never did get along with Miley when Miley dated her brother, but now she felt like she stole her best friend.

Carly looked back at the crowd. Miley sat by Lexi in a fold up chair. It surprised Carly
she
wasn’t in a bikini. She had Bailey cradled in her arms. She was much better with Bailey than Carly was anyway. Maybe she was the better friend to Bree. It was going to happen sooner or later. Just like when Khloe made cheerleader and she quit hanging out with them. Being dragged to football games almost all her life, Carly had no desire to be a cheerleader. She was just fine watching games in the stands.

“You know?” Carly didn’t hear what Bree said as she was consumed in her own thoughts.

“Yeah.” Carly stared out at the lake. Sail boats toted across the water, the orange, setting sun reflected off the surface making the lake look like it was on fire.

“You wouldn’t believe what some people said about me bringing her tonight. Saying how horrible a mom I am. I’m trying, Carly,” Bree’s voice cracked.

“Don’t worry about what other people think,” Carly responded. That was one thing about Bree, she was always concerned about what people were saying about her, and Carly hated that. People were going to talk no matter what.

“I try, but I … I just want to prove them wrong, you know. Prove I can do this, despite my age.”

“You can.” Carly looked back at the crowd. Garrett hovered over Miley with the proud daddy look on his face. Carly thought of her parents. They were Bree and Garrett’s age when Hudson was born. Was her dad ever that happy about them? She couldn’t picture it. “Looks to me like you have great help.” She picked at the blanket between her knees.

“I do, but I’m still trying to adjust to the whole only getting a few hours sleep at a time thing. It sucks.”

Carly curled her lip up. “Sounds like it.” Carly loved her sleep. She already hated that summer school made her miss out on the whole sleep past noon everyday ritual. 

Bree propped herself up on her elbows. “Okay so what’s the deal with you and my brother again?”

Carly smiled, wanting to tell her everything. How he says the coolest things to her and how she can’t wait to see him or text him or talk to him, anything to do with him really.

“Bree, did you bring anymore bottles? I think Bailey’s hungry.” Garrett jogged to them.

Bree frowned. “I’m sorry. I…” she pointed behind her.

Carly nodded. Left alone when Bree ran off to feed her baby in the car, she looked back at the lake. Parker embraced being in the center of the crowd like he was the one who had always lived here, not her.

She couldn’t bring herself to get up from her spot, comfortably away from everyone. She may have seemed unsocial, but what did she care what people thought of her anyway? More than she wanted to admit.