Outlaw's Baby: A Bad Boy Secret Baby Romance (14 page)

“
S
o
, how long have you been single?” asks the stereotypical tall, dark and handsome man who’s sitting across the dinner table from me.

“Umm…” That’s a hard question, and I don’t know how to answer it in the simplest way possible. “I guess since before my daughter was born.”

“Oh, you’re a mother?” He sounds a little confused.

“Yes, didn’t Bridgette tell you?”

My sister has been trying to set me up forever. This is the first date that I’ve agreed to; partly to get her off my back, and partly because I suppose it really
is
time to start moving on. After all, a year was a long time.

“Maybe…I can’t remember.”

Jay works with Bridgette at the PR firm—she’s already used her charisma to work her way up to being a manager there—and he’s all right in the generic
every woman’s dream
sort of way. But I just find him kind of…boring.

“So, do you like where you work?” I ask lamely, wanting to change the subject.

“Oh, yes!” He launches into an animated speech about public relations, nearly boring me to tears. He must be a workaholic. I have nothing wrong with a strong work ethic—after all, I have one myself—but that’s the only topic Jay has gotten excited about. I may love my job as Ryder’s part-time PA, but I’d never get so thrilled about talking about it.

What the hell was Bridgette thinking?

Actually, I know exactly what she was thinking—he’s the complete opposite to Axel and that’s all she wants for me in the world. I don’t think she could cope seeing me fall apart so horribly again.

A waiter approaches the table. “Are either of you interested in looking at our dessert menu?”

Oh, God no.

“No, thank you. I really must be heading home.”

“Yeah?” Jay’s eyebrows shoot up. I thought he’d be more put out by my rejection, but clearly he isn’t feeling it either. “Okay then, just the bill please.”

He grins at me and quickly throws over his platinum card to pay for our meal. I wonder if his obvious affluence is supposed to impress me. It doesn’t. I’ve never been the type of girl to be impressed by money and material possessions.

To Jay’s credit, he acts like a perfect gentleman as we leave the restaurant, pulling out my chair, putting on my coat, and opening the door. I’m sure it’s lovely, I just find it a bit suffocating.

“Okay, well…goodnight.”

As I turn to face him to say goodbye, he lunges at me, kissing me hard and forcing his tongue into my mouth.

“Whoa! Wait.” I push him off, thunderstruck. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I thought that we were going back to your place.”

“No,
I’m
going back to mine.”

“Oh, right.” His body language becomes cold, his tone sarcastic. “I see, you get a free meal out of me, and then you just fuck off, leaving me with nothing.”

His sudden change in personality completely throws me. Is he serious?

“You expected
sex
? On the first date? What sort of women do you normally go out with?”

“The ones who give me what I’m owed.”

“Ugh, you pig.”

He doesn’t take this well. He pounces on me, pushing me back against a wall.

“You think you’re so fucking hot that you can just get away with this shit? You get
all
your meals that way?”

There’s no point in explaining to this guy that he’s the first date that I’ve been on in years. His mind is already made up about me.

“Sluts like you make me feel sick,” he spits out.

I struggle beneath him, but he’s pretty strong.

“Get the fuck off me!” I say. “You’re disgusting.”

I’ve made a scene now, so he backs off a bit, throwing me an awful look before stalking off in a temper. My god, what a spoiled, sleazy brat!

I make the long walk home with tears in my eyes. Tonight wasn’t supposed to go this way. It was supposed to be the start of a bright new future for me. Yet here I am, still a mess, still not wanting to admit that my love for Axel will always overshadow what anyone else can offer me.

Why do I still have to love the man who left me?

Eventually I arrive home to my apartment, where I quickly relieve the babysitter, carefully avoiding all of her friendly questions about the date. Then I go and do what I do every other night. I go and sit by my daughter’s bed, just watching her sleep, admiring how much she looks like her father.

A
fter a while
, my eyes become heavy-lidded and I head back to my own bedroom. I can’t help but feel a little frustrated at how badly the night went. I really wanted the date to go well—it is not like I expected to marry the guy, but I did want to have a simple, pleasant evening. It’s the first step I’ve taken towards moving on, and it went so damn wrong.

I guess I’m just really disappointed. Bridgette has spent a lot of time trying to convince me that there
are
good guys out there, but she’s just been proven so, so wrong.

As my brain flickers in and out of sleep, I start to imagine myself in the same situation as I was in on the date, but Jay has vanished and Axel is sitting in his place across the table.

“Hello, dirty girl.” He grins widely at me. “Missed me?”

I drink in his shaggy, unkempt appearance, annoyed that my heart leaps about ten feet into the air. He looks exactly as he did that night in the bar; the first night we met. He’s wearing the same hoodie, the same t-shirt, and he even has the same stubble plastered across the lower half of his face.

Why does my body have to react so fiercely to him, even after all this time?

“Where the fuck have you been?” I snap. Even the imaginary version of myself is angry at him. It might be wonderful to see him again, but the negative emotions are still there, swimming around inside of me.

“That doesn’t matter,” he teasingly replies, rubbing his palm along my cheek. “What matters is that I’m here now.”

“No, I…” I start to argue, but he leaps across the dining table, knocking our food to the floor before kissing me hard.

“Axel…” I try to protest, but he carries on.

Fiery passion sweeps through my body. I’ve missed this, missed him so much, and I can’t deny it any longer.

I feel my fingers sliding down into my underwear while I continue this fantasy in my mind. I know it’s wrong, I know I should be moving on and masturbating over someone new, but the fact that it’s forbidden is what makes it so deliciously exciting.

I start to feel myself, experimenting and plunging a finger inside of myself. I’m so wet already, dripping at the mere thought of him. Then I push in another finger, and another. I try to imitate the way that Axel touched me, to make it feel that much more realistic.

“Fuck me, Axel,” I beg, firmly back in my torrid fantasy world.

“In front of all these people?” he asks, laughing. It’s clear from his thick erection that he likes that idea.

He pulls me up onto the table, leaving my legs dangling down over the sides. Then he stands over me, watching me, running his fingers up my thighs. I feel powerless, like he could consume me at any given moment. But that’s what I want… for him to swallow me whole.

I gently rub over and around my clit with one hand, whilst stroking my breasts and nipples with the other. I’m gasping with sheer joy, more turned on than I have been in a very long time.

Since the last time I saw him, actually.

He pulls me closer to him, releasing his full, throbbing cock for me to see. I lean up onto my elbows to get a better look as he pushes my fancy dress aside and plunges into me. I watch him slowly move in and out, just teasing me over and over again. It’s like having a like porn film playing in front of me, except we’re the ones acting in it.

The waves of passion are already building, already pulsating. I have to bury my face into my pillow to stop myself from screaming out loud.

He fucks me hard, pulling me closer to him with every thrust. Then he bends down, ripping the top of my dress so he can wrap his lips around my nipple.

I concentrate on playing with my stiff nipples, pretending that his mouth is around them, sucking and licking. I’m focusing so hard on my imagination that it almost feels real.

“Fuck, dirty girl,” he mumbles, his breath cold against my flushed skin. “You feel better than I remember.”

He moves harder and faster, and all the while I’m losing control beneath him. The bliss is there already. It starts at my center and begins to spread all over my body until I’m encased in its warm, intoxicating glow.

“Oh, fuck, Axel, no one can make me come like you do!” I cry out as I crash and fall beneath him…

And then the image is gone, and I’m alone once more.

I sob hard at the memory of what we once were, what we could have been, of what we’ll never have again. I’ve been trying to push him to the back of my mind, to really forget him and move on with the future, but this horrible experience has brought it all flooding back. I really won’t ever get someone like him ever again, and that breaks my damn heart.

I weep for what will never be until I fall asleep, safe in the knowledge that my heart will never be whole again.

T
he day
I have to step into the cage is drawing nearer and nearer, and I’m dreading it. After trying to get out of it several times, it’s become painfully obvious Ryder just won’t let me do it. And today it
will
happen, he’s told me with a gleeful smile while Rosa watched worriedly. I
will
hurt someone. I
will
win. Losing is not an option. Ryder’s placed a lot of bets on me.

I’ve seen my opponent. He’s won every battle he’s been in, and he’s a massive hunk of man, enormous and strong as an ox. How I’m supposed to win against him is a fucking mystery, as he’s been known to beat his opponents to a bloody pulp. I’m hoping losing a tooth is the least of my worries tonight.

I’m waiting for the fight to begin in one of the dingy locker room, my thoughts nervously circling all the things I’ve come to cherish in this life. Somehow, they all have to do with Cherie.

The scent of her hair.

The way she yawns and stretches like a cat when she wakes up.

The sound she makes when my cock leaves her mouth with a pop.

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, and the cock grow stiffer. With a groan, I stroke my length through my shorts. I’m so fucking hard, so pent up. Relieving myself has become a nightly ritual, but it doesn’t mean I’ve stopped craving a certain pouty mouth.

“Am I interrupting?”

I let go of my cock with a curse, hearing Rosa laughing on the other side of the room. She’s leaning on the door frame with her arms crossed, her eyes on my crotch, her mouth twisted in a smile.

“Fuck off,” I tell her, and feel my face burning up. I reach for a towel and drape it across the painfully obvious erection poking through my shorts.

“Nothing I haven’t seen before,” Rosa shrugs, coming to sit down next to me on the bench. She straddles it, like she might a guy she’s about to fuck. My eyes travel across her torso, meeting hers in a questioning look. “We need to talk,” she says.

“What about?” I furrow my brows, unsure of what she wants. Sure, we have an easy camaraderie between us, but nothing more. Nothing that would require a serious conversation, unless it’s to do with work. “Is something wrong?”

“Kind of.” She shifts in her seat, and before I can stop her, she slips off her leather jacket and pulls of her T-shirt, revealing a perky pair of tits underneath. No bra.

“Rosa, what the fuck!” I jump up from the bench, turning my back to my colleague while my heart pounds wildly. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

I brace the wall, feeling my cock stir again. This isn’t supposed to happen, but my body has a mind of its own. It’s only natural to react this way to a half-naked woman in the same room. But still, it does nothing to my heart. That part of me stays as ice cold and frozen as always.

I can hear Rosa getting up, and in moments, her arms wrap around my waist. She’s fumbling with my shorts and I whip my body around to face her angrily.

“Rosa,” I say with a warning in my tone. “Stop this right now.”

“Why should I?” She pouts at me, looking angry and desperate at the same time. “I don’t want your love, Axel. I just want you to fuck me.”

My cock throbs in my shorts. “No,” I tell her simply. “I don’t want that.”

“Oh, come on.” She laughs, a rough and sad sound, so different to Cherie’s melodic giggle. “I know you’re obsessed with some chick back at home, and you… well, you know where my interests lie.”

Meaning she wants to fuck that prick Ryder’s brains out. I don’t say it out loud.

“Doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun together… maybe get rid of some pent up stress?” She reaches for my waistband and before I can stop her, she’s snuck her hand in there and grabbed my cock firmly.

I reach for her wrists and hold them tightly. “Rosa,” I say, trying to keep the anger out of my voice. “You don’t want this. You don’t want me…”

She squirms in my arms and tries to speak, but I stop her with one look.

“No. I’m not going to fuck you. And Ryder isn’t, either.”

With those words, she rips her hands out of mine and gives me a furious look, but I’m not done talking just yet.

“You need to move on,” I tell her. “And I’m not the right way to do that. You have dozens of guys here who are dying for your attention. Don’t settle for me, because I’ll never love another woman… Not after… What happened, you know?”

Her eyes are curious, but I’m not about to fucking elaborate. I’m about to go on, when a man from our team, Derrick, enters the room and gives me an expectant look.

“You ready, Ax?” he asks. I can hear the crowd going wild behind him, thirsty for blood.

“Yeah,” I nod and give Rosa a warning look. Warning her not to come closer, not to cause trouble. I don’t need this. She would be a good fuck, a good distraction. But she would never compare, and in the end, it would only hurt us both.

“Okay?” I ask her, a hint of worry in my voice. I need Rosa to be okay. I have enough to worry about as is.

She gives me a long look, pondering her answer. With a sigh, she averts her eyes and finally nods. “Okay,” she repeats softly.

I grab her by the waist, pull her in and give her a kiss on her forehead. She’s stunning, Rosa is. But she’s no match for Cherie, not for me. She’ll find a guy who deserves her, as soon as she gets over her stupid Ryder obsession.

I leave her behind and follow Derrick into the makeshift arena. The crowd goes wild when they see me, but I keep my head down. I’m trying to get my thoughts straight. I really didn’t fucking need this drama right before the fight.

Derrick leads me into the cage, into my corner. My opponent’s mere feet away, looking every bit the murderer he is. I know he’s an ex-con, and I know he’s killed before.

But he doesn’t know that I have done the same.

“Bring it on, fucker,” I mutter just loud enough for him to hear, and a growl of pure hatred rolls from his lips. The crowd goes wild, and his trainer has to hold the monster back, he’s that desperate to throw himself at me.

I take a sip of water and try to relax. I know I’m going to lose. I don’t have a chance against this piece of meat.

Until he mutters something in response to my words.

“Boss told me he’d give me your fuck toy’s address,” the monster says to me, his eyes crazed. “Told me to have some fun with her… Rough her up and get her ready for him.”

A gunshot sounds out, initiating the fight. The guy’s words are ringing in my head. He wants to hurt her, fuck her, and intimidate her. My girl.

He throws himself at me as I let the rage build to its boiling point. It doesn’t take fucking long before the red mist descends.

I let it cloud my vision. I let myself see blood.

And then, I let myself draw it.

The first blow to his face breaks my opponent’s nose. I hear the crunch of his bone beneath the skin and he looks at me with surprise evident in his eyes before falling on his back. In moments, though, he’s back up again, and he’s furious.

The man throws himself at me, showing me no mercy. He’s intent on breaking me, but he doesn’t see the red as I do. He doesn’t feel my rage. Doesn’t know my hatred.

I’m going in for the kill and there’s nothing stopping me.

I deflect every attack of his. I duck, turn and hit faster than I’ve ever known myself to. I tune out the noises from the crowd until they’re a dull background noise. I focus on the monster in front of me. He’s bared his teeth at me, a bloody gap where his incisor used to be. Guess he’s the one to loose teeth, not me.

“Come at me, pretty boy,” he tells me.

I growl and throw myself at him. I half expect him to throw me over his shoulder, but I have a new found strength. I pummel into his chest, pushing him over. I beat him, dealing blows to every part of his body I can reach.

He’s a bloody mess underneath me, and I’m faintly aware of the crowd screaming for blood, desperate for me to kill the poor fucker that’s under me. And the worst part is, I’m not far off… I could murder the bastard and not feel an ounce of regret until I came down from my high.

The red mist is obscuring my vision. Kill, kill, kill – the words ring in my head. I’m beating him, making a mess out of what used to be a strong, proud man. Blow after blow, hit after hit. He’s already knocked out. He can’t defend himself anymore.

What are you doing?
A soft feminine voice asks in my head.

I stop for a split second. Cherie. My sweet Cherie.

I try to land another blow when I take a really good look at what’s happening. The monster underneath me is unconscious. People are cheering for me to end him. The supervisor of the fight is staring at me with bloodlust, stepping in for a role I’m usually in charge of. He’s doing a really bad goddamn job of it, too.

Don’t disappoint me, Axel. Don’t hurt this man. He’s not the reason for all your pain… Don’t hurt me, Ax.

Cherie’s face is sweet and pained in my mind, begging me to stop. My crazed eyes float over the crowd until my gaze lands on Ryder.

The fucker is sitting in the front row, observing the fight from the best seat in the room. He smirks at me, giving a slow nod as if he’s trying to tell me to go on.

Suddenly, I understand why the bastard’s put me in the cage.

He
wants
me to kill.

He wants more blood on my hands.

He wants more debt to accumulate…

I get up while the crowd boos. I walk over to the edge of the cave, shaking from the pent up adrenaline rushing through my body. I don’t stop until I’m standing directly in front of Ryder, staring him right in the face. He doesn’t scare me, but I scare him. I see a sliver of fear register in his eyes as we lock gazes.

And then I spit at him, right through the bars of the cage.

The crowd whoops, always thirsty for more, as I walk away.

I don’t stop until I walk into the changing room, which is where I collapse on the floor, my knuckles bleeding, my heart breaking. I let Rosa rush towards me, I let her patch up my wounds.

I almost let myself become a monster in there.

But I stopped… for Cherie.

Always for Cherie.

Mercifully, I black out.