Outing of the Heart (61 page)
Read Outing of the Heart Online
Authors: Lisa Ann Harper
âWill you still give me your mother's number, in case you're out there when I get back?'
âYes, of course.' She remembered the last time Devon had been away and how desperately she had tried to be in touch with her. Now it was she who wanted to be sure to make contact. How situations can get turned around. She sighed.
âAre you all right?' Devon picked up on the mood.
âYes Dev, I'm okay. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong. I do appreciate your helping me like this. You're a good friend.' She turned and smiled at her. âYou know that?'
Devon felt a warming glow suffuse through her body. Everything was going to be good between them, after all. Tenille was such a lovely person. She couldn't bear for anything to go wrong now. When she came to think of it, she had known Tenille for getting on nine months and really, there had never been a time when she'd not shown herself to be a generous, kind-hearted person.
“Not like me,”
she reflected, knowing herself to be selfish; ruthless even. Somehow Tenille managed to bring out the best in her. She liked thinking about someone else for a change. Especially someone so attractive and desirable. Finally, they pulled up outside the house. âDon't worry about your gear, I'll bring it in for you,' she offered.
âI don't know how I'd manage without you, Dev,' she replied with feeling. Devon smiled at such a positive response.
âHere we go,' she said, as she helped her from the car. She hopped up the walkway, then rummaged in her purse for keys. Inside, divesting herself of her dancing clothes she realized sadly, it would be a long time before she wore them again. Perhaps never. She shuddered at the prospect. She wouldn't let herself go there. Sage counselling had always been: âTake it a day at a time.'
Devon came in with her things and set them down by the closet. Opening the doors, she asked what she would like to take.
âActually Devon, the stuff I need is more in that tallboy than the closet ⦠clean underwear. I won't take a nightie, they always provide a gown. She looked across at the other door. âMy toiletries are in the bathroom.'
Devon rummaged through her personal effects, enjoying handling all her intimate apparel. Tenille favored âfull brief' panties, but they all featured lace and/or satin. Also, they were either black or white. “
No colors,”
she observed with interest. The same with her bras and they were mostly front fastening or crop-tops. Her body was responding to erotic thoughts at the sight of the lingerie. These unexpected treasures deserved a more self-indulgent lingering. Too bad. She didn't often get a chance like this to pamper, not quite a fetish, but an intense turn-on all the same. She proceeded to the ensuite.
âMy toilet bag is in the vanity.'
Tenille was now lying stretched out on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. âJust tooth brush, etcetera â and moisturizer. I think that's all I'll need.' She rolled over onto her side to face the washroom, as she spoke: âMaybe my shampoo. I shouldn't be more than four to five days, if that. If there are no complications,' she amended.
Devon returned to the main room with her things. âNow, what about street wear?' Tenille had been stretched out in her terry robe. The medics would be sure to want to compare legs, so she figured shorts would probably be the way to go.
âI've got some loose cotton ones in the closet and T-shirts in the middle drawer. A white one will do.' She brought the clothes over to her and she slipped them on. Devon watched greedily.
âWell, I guess that's it,' she declared. âI've got all the papers I need and money in my purse. Will you put my book, clock radio and toilet bag in the gym grip? It's on the floor in the bottom of the closet. You can empty out the contents, if you wouldn't mind.' Mentioning the gym made her think of Sidonie. She would like to phone her, but she couldn't call her at the track and leave the bald message ⦠“going into hospital.” They may not even admit her tonight. No. It would be kinder to wait for more definite news. No need to set off alarm bells.
âAll ready.' Devon called out, heart still racing, as she stowed the last of Tenille's belongings into the grip.
Parking at the Orthopaedic and Arthritis Hospital was conveniently close and the lateness of the hour meant there wasn't a run on hospital services. By now it was a quarter of eleven; reception quiet, almost empty.
âI'll wait for you,' Devon promised, when Tenille was called.
Despite her confidence in her own diagnosis, there was some trepidation as she hopped to the cubicle, with the nurse's assistance, to await the Resident's examination. In fact he didn't take long to confirm that indeed, she had sustained a total severance of the Tendo Calcaneus. It would require surgical repair and she would have to keep her weight off that leg for the time being. He could not confirm however, if she could have surgery the next day and went off to check the OR list for tomorrow. She waited alone, getting chillier and chillier in the strong air conditioning of Emergency, hoping her luck would be in and it would be soon.
This moment of respite allowed her thoughts to return to their last goodbye. Back then she had thought it was for a few weeks. Now, with this accident there need be no separation. The prospect of not seeing Sidonie had weighed heavily on her. Now that she was just a phone call away, she understood how crushing that weight had been. Above all, her changed circumstances crystallized to a sharp focus, as nothing else had, the fact that she was truly a special person in her life. Inside, deep in her heart, she believed if she could share her life with her, as in living together, this would be perfection. She was such a wonderful person. Her admiration was wide-ranging and, without doubt, there was a physical power that even during her infatuation with Devon, had been shockingly intense.
She took a deep breath, readjusting her position on the plinth. There was something about Sidonie she found utterly compelling. It felt so good in her company. Not like in the beginning when she had been unsure of herself, always wondering if she were doing the right, or even worse, the wrong thing. They just seemed to click. Their wavelengths coincided since they'd opened up their hearts. There was a confidence she'd not had before, since that night of lovemaking. She admitted that knowing how Sid felt about her; how attracted she was, let her ride the biggest high. Without her close, she missed that sense of being truly alive, right down to her fingertips and toes. Did she make her feel the same way? One day she must ask her how she made her feel, if â¦
The young Resident returned to interrupt her reverie, an apologetic smile playing about his lips. This woman has beguiling eyes, he admired to himself. “
There's probably some hunky dude enjoying her favors. Lucky devil.”
Being a Resident he was stuck here all the hours God made. He coughed to clear the sudden roughness of his throat and began to explain that the repair could not be scheduled until Saturday, am. She would be admitted tomorrow afternoon and prepped the next morning for a noon op.
âWill you be doing the repair, Dr. Jamieson?' she had to ask, feeling a confidence in this doctor, despite his youthfulness. She wanted to know her fate lay in capable hands; one heard such stories of the wrong limb being operated on or worse, removed.
âGees. Not me.' He was shocked. He'd only joined this Residency three weeks ago. âNo. Dr. Suli will be the surgeon on duty this week end.' He saw her face drop. âDon't you worry, she's very capable; years of experience.' A woman surgeon? Yes. This was even better. She'd always liked the sincere and caring approach of women doctors. They seemed to have more time for details.
âThank you Dr. Jamieson. I'm not the least bit worried and am only anxious to get through the next stage of my life as quickly as possible. I know the non-weight bearing period will be awfully long and tedious.'
âYes. Well, it used to be about three months, but with the more sophisticated techniques at our disposal today, we've been able to shorten that quite considerably. If there are no complications, that is.' He smiled once more, giving her the benefit of his boyish grin, he, for once, totally captivated by the direct, yet soft gaze which had been turned on him. He really would like to get to know this woman better. There was an indefinable difference about her. Almost as though she were talking to anybody and not a strapping, virile Scot like him. He was used to women responding to his maleness as much as his position, but this one appeared not to notice his physical appeal. She intrigued him; held mystery.
âI'll see you again, after surgery; just to check that all is going well,' he promised himself as much as her. With this he gave her one more searching look then asked: âDo you have someone to take you home and bring you tomorrow?'
âYes, yes ⦠I think so, thank you.' She was thinking rapidly. Could she get hold of Sidonie to drive her over tomorrow? She finished work at noon, she knew that. But then she would take off for the day, not expecting to get a call from her this late.
Dr. Jamieson helped her out and the nurse took over. Devon jumped up as soon as she saw them and crossed to the desk. âSo, what's the story?' she enquired anxiously.
Tenille pulled a face. âNot 'til Saturday.' She had paperwork to complete before leaving. âI have to wait 'til tomorrow afternoon to be admitted.'
âStill, that's better than next week,' Devon amended. â
C'est la vie.'
Tenille shrugged and sighed. âWell,
c'est
ma
vie,
just now,' she emphasized dolefully.
âIt's home then?'
âYes, nothing to be done 'til tomorrow. I'll have time to make phone calls and let my mom know I'm here and not with you guys.'
âHow will you manage tomorrow?' Devon worried. âWe take off in the early evening, but I could come by for you if I get time off work, which I'm pretty sure I can.'
Tenille had to turn her full attention to the nurse who was going through the procedure for admission. Devon stood and watched, lost in her own train of thought. She regretted she was going away and wouldn't be in town for the next two weeks. Tenille would probably need someone to lean on and she would have liked it to be her. This would have been a chance to show her good side and perhaps get over the bad patch she'd been going through with her recently. Well, it wasn't exactly a bad patch. She wasn't like that. But to get close to her again. Now she supposed that other girl would be hanging about. She couldn't see what she saw in her; so unsophisticated and quite lacking in feminine charms. Again she asked how she'd manage, keeping her voice as innocent as possible. âHave you got anyone who can help you while I'm gone?'
âOh yes, Dev. Mr. Sandrelli will probably run me over tomorrow. I know Mrs. S. won't let me starve.' She laughed. âAnyway, I've still got one good leg and I don't want to inconvenience you any more than I have already.'
âTen, don't say that. You know I'm only too happy to be able to help you, any way I can.' Her voice took on a petulant tone as she added: âWhat are friends for if they can't help out in a time of need.' She didn't want someone else muscling in. It should be her.
The nurse said: âDoctor has given you a prescription for pain in case you have trouble sleeping. Now I must measure you for crutches.' Tenille wasn't happy about this development but, of course, it had to be. Already her body felt tired from trying to keep her weight off the bad leg. She was shown how to use crutches, ordinary wooden ones.
âAfter the operation,' she explained, âthe physiotherapist will show you how to use them in a variety of situations, since you'll be on them for quite some â¦'
âYes, I know,' Tenille interrupted, frustration making her impatient. She remembered learning to use them during her nurse's training. At that time she had never thought to see the day she would be using them for real. It was almost midnight. As they drove back to the apartment Devon continued to quiz her about how she would manage, but she really couldn't think everything through. Work would have to be informed ⦠must fill her parents in on all the details, such as they were. It was too late for Sidonie.
Outside #226, Devon said: âOkay, I can tell you've had enough. How about I call you tomorrow from work and see how you're doing. Does that sound like a good idea?' She went into park.
âYes, that's it, Dev. I'll have a better handle on what's happening by then.' She lapsed into silence as Devon made busy collecting her gear.
Thoughts were spinning in her brain, the impact of the situation finally hitting hard; implications and ramifications beginning to loom enormous. As she looked for keys, she knew Mrs. Sandrelli would have to be told. She was expecting her to be gone ⦠but not to the hospital.
âI hate to leave you like this,' Devon complained, âbut I've still a fair bit to do before take off.'
âDon't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'll go to bed now and tomorrow will be soon enough to make all the necessary phone calls. Then I'll be in the capable hands of the nursing staff.' She tilted her head across to the tall woman who had closed up the closet and now was looking at her worriedly, where she lay. âYou go on this tour Dev. Have a wonderful time.' She dropped her voice and added, slowly: âI wish I were going too, but sometimes things are just not meant to be.'
Devon approached her and standing really close looked down into the sleepy depths of her eyes. âI'm sorry you won't be with us too, Ten. I'll miss you. I'd been looking forward to spending our days together ⦠you know, like in the beginning.' She stopped, but continued to stare at Tenille. The latter was surprised to see a flush rise to the pale cheeks and reached out to touch her. Instantly, Devon's arms were around her and she felt herself assailed by the other woman's tumultuous emotion. She wanted to draw away; she was being submerged in a wave of longing in which she had no part. It made her feel swamped; airless.
âYes, of course.' She remembered the last time Devon had been away and how desperately she had tried to be in touch with her. Now it was she who wanted to be sure to make contact. How situations can get turned around. She sighed.
âAre you all right?' Devon picked up on the mood.
âYes Dev, I'm okay. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong. I do appreciate your helping me like this. You're a good friend.' She turned and smiled at her. âYou know that?'
Devon felt a warming glow suffuse through her body. Everything was going to be good between them, after all. Tenille was such a lovely person. She couldn't bear for anything to go wrong now. When she came to think of it, she had known Tenille for getting on nine months and really, there had never been a time when she'd not shown herself to be a generous, kind-hearted person.
“Not like me,”
she reflected, knowing herself to be selfish; ruthless even. Somehow Tenille managed to bring out the best in her. She liked thinking about someone else for a change. Especially someone so attractive and desirable. Finally, they pulled up outside the house. âDon't worry about your gear, I'll bring it in for you,' she offered.
âI don't know how I'd manage without you, Dev,' she replied with feeling. Devon smiled at such a positive response.
âHere we go,' she said, as she helped her from the car. She hopped up the walkway, then rummaged in her purse for keys. Inside, divesting herself of her dancing clothes she realized sadly, it would be a long time before she wore them again. Perhaps never. She shuddered at the prospect. She wouldn't let herself go there. Sage counselling had always been: âTake it a day at a time.'
Devon came in with her things and set them down by the closet. Opening the doors, she asked what she would like to take.
âActually Devon, the stuff I need is more in that tallboy than the closet ⦠clean underwear. I won't take a nightie, they always provide a gown. She looked across at the other door. âMy toiletries are in the bathroom.'
Devon rummaged through her personal effects, enjoying handling all her intimate apparel. Tenille favored âfull brief' panties, but they all featured lace and/or satin. Also, they were either black or white. “
No colors,”
she observed with interest. The same with her bras and they were mostly front fastening or crop-tops. Her body was responding to erotic thoughts at the sight of the lingerie. These unexpected treasures deserved a more self-indulgent lingering. Too bad. She didn't often get a chance like this to pamper, not quite a fetish, but an intense turn-on all the same. She proceeded to the ensuite.
âMy toilet bag is in the vanity.'
Tenille was now lying stretched out on the bed, looking up at the ceiling. âJust tooth brush, etcetera â and moisturizer. I think that's all I'll need.' She rolled over onto her side to face the washroom, as she spoke: âMaybe my shampoo. I shouldn't be more than four to five days, if that. If there are no complications,' she amended.
Devon returned to the main room with her things. âNow, what about street wear?' Tenille had been stretched out in her terry robe. The medics would be sure to want to compare legs, so she figured shorts would probably be the way to go.
âI've got some loose cotton ones in the closet and T-shirts in the middle drawer. A white one will do.' She brought the clothes over to her and she slipped them on. Devon watched greedily.
âWell, I guess that's it,' she declared. âI've got all the papers I need and money in my purse. Will you put my book, clock radio and toilet bag in the gym grip? It's on the floor in the bottom of the closet. You can empty out the contents, if you wouldn't mind.' Mentioning the gym made her think of Sidonie. She would like to phone her, but she couldn't call her at the track and leave the bald message ⦠“going into hospital.” They may not even admit her tonight. No. It would be kinder to wait for more definite news. No need to set off alarm bells.
âAll ready.' Devon called out, heart still racing, as she stowed the last of Tenille's belongings into the grip.
Parking at the Orthopaedic and Arthritis Hospital was conveniently close and the lateness of the hour meant there wasn't a run on hospital services. By now it was a quarter of eleven; reception quiet, almost empty.
âI'll wait for you,' Devon promised, when Tenille was called.
Despite her confidence in her own diagnosis, there was some trepidation as she hopped to the cubicle, with the nurse's assistance, to await the Resident's examination. In fact he didn't take long to confirm that indeed, she had sustained a total severance of the Tendo Calcaneus. It would require surgical repair and she would have to keep her weight off that leg for the time being. He could not confirm however, if she could have surgery the next day and went off to check the OR list for tomorrow. She waited alone, getting chillier and chillier in the strong air conditioning of Emergency, hoping her luck would be in and it would be soon.
This moment of respite allowed her thoughts to return to their last goodbye. Back then she had thought it was for a few weeks. Now, with this accident there need be no separation. The prospect of not seeing Sidonie had weighed heavily on her. Now that she was just a phone call away, she understood how crushing that weight had been. Above all, her changed circumstances crystallized to a sharp focus, as nothing else had, the fact that she was truly a special person in her life. Inside, deep in her heart, she believed if she could share her life with her, as in living together, this would be perfection. She was such a wonderful person. Her admiration was wide-ranging and, without doubt, there was a physical power that even during her infatuation with Devon, had been shockingly intense.
She took a deep breath, readjusting her position on the plinth. There was something about Sidonie she found utterly compelling. It felt so good in her company. Not like in the beginning when she had been unsure of herself, always wondering if she were doing the right, or even worse, the wrong thing. They just seemed to click. Their wavelengths coincided since they'd opened up their hearts. There was a confidence she'd not had before, since that night of lovemaking. She admitted that knowing how Sid felt about her; how attracted she was, let her ride the biggest high. Without her close, she missed that sense of being truly alive, right down to her fingertips and toes. Did she make her feel the same way? One day she must ask her how she made her feel, if â¦
The young Resident returned to interrupt her reverie, an apologetic smile playing about his lips. This woman has beguiling eyes, he admired to himself. “
There's probably some hunky dude enjoying her favors. Lucky devil.”
Being a Resident he was stuck here all the hours God made. He coughed to clear the sudden roughness of his throat and began to explain that the repair could not be scheduled until Saturday, am. She would be admitted tomorrow afternoon and prepped the next morning for a noon op.
âWill you be doing the repair, Dr. Jamieson?' she had to ask, feeling a confidence in this doctor, despite his youthfulness. She wanted to know her fate lay in capable hands; one heard such stories of the wrong limb being operated on or worse, removed.
âGees. Not me.' He was shocked. He'd only joined this Residency three weeks ago. âNo. Dr. Suli will be the surgeon on duty this week end.' He saw her face drop. âDon't you worry, she's very capable; years of experience.' A woman surgeon? Yes. This was even better. She'd always liked the sincere and caring approach of women doctors. They seemed to have more time for details.
âThank you Dr. Jamieson. I'm not the least bit worried and am only anxious to get through the next stage of my life as quickly as possible. I know the non-weight bearing period will be awfully long and tedious.'
âYes. Well, it used to be about three months, but with the more sophisticated techniques at our disposal today, we've been able to shorten that quite considerably. If there are no complications, that is.' He smiled once more, giving her the benefit of his boyish grin, he, for once, totally captivated by the direct, yet soft gaze which had been turned on him. He really would like to get to know this woman better. There was an indefinable difference about her. Almost as though she were talking to anybody and not a strapping, virile Scot like him. He was used to women responding to his maleness as much as his position, but this one appeared not to notice his physical appeal. She intrigued him; held mystery.
âI'll see you again, after surgery; just to check that all is going well,' he promised himself as much as her. With this he gave her one more searching look then asked: âDo you have someone to take you home and bring you tomorrow?'
âYes, yes ⦠I think so, thank you.' She was thinking rapidly. Could she get hold of Sidonie to drive her over tomorrow? She finished work at noon, she knew that. But then she would take off for the day, not expecting to get a call from her this late.
Dr. Jamieson helped her out and the nurse took over. Devon jumped up as soon as she saw them and crossed to the desk. âSo, what's the story?' she enquired anxiously.
Tenille pulled a face. âNot 'til Saturday.' She had paperwork to complete before leaving. âI have to wait 'til tomorrow afternoon to be admitted.'
âStill, that's better than next week,' Devon amended. â
C'est la vie.'
Tenille shrugged and sighed. âWell,
c'est
ma
vie,
just now,' she emphasized dolefully.
âIt's home then?'
âYes, nothing to be done 'til tomorrow. I'll have time to make phone calls and let my mom know I'm here and not with you guys.'
âHow will you manage tomorrow?' Devon worried. âWe take off in the early evening, but I could come by for you if I get time off work, which I'm pretty sure I can.'
Tenille had to turn her full attention to the nurse who was going through the procedure for admission. Devon stood and watched, lost in her own train of thought. She regretted she was going away and wouldn't be in town for the next two weeks. Tenille would probably need someone to lean on and she would have liked it to be her. This would have been a chance to show her good side and perhaps get over the bad patch she'd been going through with her recently. Well, it wasn't exactly a bad patch. She wasn't like that. But to get close to her again. Now she supposed that other girl would be hanging about. She couldn't see what she saw in her; so unsophisticated and quite lacking in feminine charms. Again she asked how she'd manage, keeping her voice as innocent as possible. âHave you got anyone who can help you while I'm gone?'
âOh yes, Dev. Mr. Sandrelli will probably run me over tomorrow. I know Mrs. S. won't let me starve.' She laughed. âAnyway, I've still got one good leg and I don't want to inconvenience you any more than I have already.'
âTen, don't say that. You know I'm only too happy to be able to help you, any way I can.' Her voice took on a petulant tone as she added: âWhat are friends for if they can't help out in a time of need.' She didn't want someone else muscling in. It should be her.
The nurse said: âDoctor has given you a prescription for pain in case you have trouble sleeping. Now I must measure you for crutches.' Tenille wasn't happy about this development but, of course, it had to be. Already her body felt tired from trying to keep her weight off the bad leg. She was shown how to use crutches, ordinary wooden ones.
âAfter the operation,' she explained, âthe physiotherapist will show you how to use them in a variety of situations, since you'll be on them for quite some â¦'
âYes, I know,' Tenille interrupted, frustration making her impatient. She remembered learning to use them during her nurse's training. At that time she had never thought to see the day she would be using them for real. It was almost midnight. As they drove back to the apartment Devon continued to quiz her about how she would manage, but she really couldn't think everything through. Work would have to be informed ⦠must fill her parents in on all the details, such as they were. It was too late for Sidonie.
Outside #226, Devon said: âOkay, I can tell you've had enough. How about I call you tomorrow from work and see how you're doing. Does that sound like a good idea?' She went into park.
âYes, that's it, Dev. I'll have a better handle on what's happening by then.' She lapsed into silence as Devon made busy collecting her gear.
Thoughts were spinning in her brain, the impact of the situation finally hitting hard; implications and ramifications beginning to loom enormous. As she looked for keys, she knew Mrs. Sandrelli would have to be told. She was expecting her to be gone ⦠but not to the hospital.
âI hate to leave you like this,' Devon complained, âbut I've still a fair bit to do before take off.'
âDon't worry about me. I'll be fine. I'll go to bed now and tomorrow will be soon enough to make all the necessary phone calls. Then I'll be in the capable hands of the nursing staff.' She tilted her head across to the tall woman who had closed up the closet and now was looking at her worriedly, where she lay. âYou go on this tour Dev. Have a wonderful time.' She dropped her voice and added, slowly: âI wish I were going too, but sometimes things are just not meant to be.'
Devon approached her and standing really close looked down into the sleepy depths of her eyes. âI'm sorry you won't be with us too, Ten. I'll miss you. I'd been looking forward to spending our days together ⦠you know, like in the beginning.' She stopped, but continued to stare at Tenille. The latter was surprised to see a flush rise to the pale cheeks and reached out to touch her. Instantly, Devon's arms were around her and she felt herself assailed by the other woman's tumultuous emotion. She wanted to draw away; she was being submerged in a wave of longing in which she had no part. It made her feel swamped; airless.
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