Out of the Blackness (25 page)

“Aves! You’re right on time!” He leans forward to brush a kiss to my cheek before I can remember how to work my tongue to form words. He looks at me for a moment, that dang smile widening and I know he has somehow accessed every naughty thought in my head—and there are so many I don’t have the first clue how to get them out of there.

He grabs my hand and gently pulls me into the kitchen, talking a mile a minute about the meeting with his advisor at the university. I try to focus on his words so I won’t notice how his shoulders, chest and arms flex as he prepares the steaks and potatoes for the grill. It’s a lost cause. All I can do is watch him and swallow frequently.

Dang that Kaleb. If he hadn’t pushed so hard yesterday I never would have noticed things like the outline of Noah’s…of Noah in his super-tight jeans. How can he even move in those things? Isn’t he afraid of pinching himself if he moves wrong?

“…and then the unicorn turned purple and I thought to myself, ‘Avery has to see this!’”

“What?” That last sentence does not compute. Purple what?

Noah laughs and leans across the bar to press a light kiss to my lips. “You zoned all the way out. I thought I’d see what it would take to bring you back.”

I flush and study the countertop between us. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I know this is outside your comfort zone. But you’re here! That’s a huge win for both of us.”

I shake my head, some of the tension draining from my shoulders. “How many wins is that? I’ve lost count.”

The grin Noah sends my way makes my toes curl. “Every day I get to spend with you is a win.” He leans in to kiss me again.

I laugh and grab his head, turning it to the side.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

“Looking for the corn! It’s going to start running out of your ears any minute!”

He pulls away and pretends to pout. “You wound me, sir.”

I laugh again and lean forward for his kiss. “Aw, I’m sorry. If it makes you feel any better, your ear looked really clean.”

Noah barks a laugh and shakes his head. “And to think I once believed you were a nice, quiet boy.”

I look at him through my lashes. “Oh, I was,” I reply honestly. “But you ruined that a long time ago.”

“And thank goodness for that!” Noah smiles and picks up the platter of steaks and potatoes. “Care to keep me company while I cook for you for a change?”

I follow Noah outside onto the postage stamp-sized patio, bordered by a six-foot high privacy fence. The space is as generic as it gets, but in the unseasonably warm spring evening, in Noah’s company, it somehow seems homey and wonderful. I watch quietly as he deftly places the steaks and potatoes on the grill. He keeps up a rolling monologue about the day, throwing in an occasional joke to make me laugh or to be sure I’m paying attention, I’m not sure which.

It’s fascinating to watch him like this, though. For as hopeless as he claims to be in the kitchen, he’s clearly comfortable with a grill. It’s apparently another one of those
man things
I missed out on learning. Sam and Kaleb both love to grill, too, but I’ve never liked them. I feel a stab of jealousy, but only for a moment. Everyone needs his own place to shine. Just because mine seems to be in the kitchen cooking for Noah instead of outdoors cooking for Noah doesn’t make it any less valid. In fact, come the zombie apocalypse, Kaleb, Sam and Noah will all be sitting ducks while I’ll be safely indoors, happily cooking and baking away. Perversely, the thought of watching these big men fighting off brain-starved walking corpses makes me giggle.

Noah glances at me, eyebrow raised and I laugh again. “You don’t even want to know,” I promise.

He ambles toward me and I edge around one of the deck chairs, putting it between us. It’s hopeless, I know; he’ll catch me soon enough. But I also know he’ll kiss me into submission, not beat me bloody. A shiver of thrill races down my spine in anticipation.

I see the twilight glitter in his eyes, watch the smirk come to his sexy lips as he catches on. He stalks closer, hands flexing at his sides. Just a few months ago, I would have run screaming in terror; now I fight against the smile twitching my lips.

I feint right and go left, putting the Plexiglas-topped table between us. A feral grin blooms on Noah’s mouth and I laugh.

“You’re gonna get it,” he warns, tossing the deck chair behind him.

“You gotta catch me first.”

“Oh. Think you’re that quick, do you?”

I bite the tip of an index finger, pretending to think. His gaze tracks to my mouth and my heartbeat kicks up. “Nah. You’re just big and clumsy.”

“You little brat!” Noah laughs. “I’ll show you big.”

As if I haven’t been seeing it in his jeans all night
. The thought distracts me long enough that he’s almost on me before I notice. I let out a very manly squeal and dodge as his fingertips nearly get a grip on my shirt sleeve. I put the other deck chair between us, panting a bit from my near escape and the mental image. My gaze involuntarily goes to his crotch and I flush. I would swear it’s bigger now.

“Are you done?” Noah asks teasingly. My eyes find his, hoping he hasn’t noticed where I’ve been looking. “You have nowhere else to hide, baby. You’re all mine now.”

I look around frantically but there is nowhere go to. All I can do is take a few steps back until my back is pressed against the door to his apartment. Covertly, I reach for the handle, but he sees me.

“Na-uh,” he says, simply stepping over the chair. His long arms reach out, grab me and pull me against the solid wall of his chest. “No more running, baby,” he whispers against my lips before claiming them in a needy kiss.

I kiss him back for a moment before Kaleb’s words crowd into my mind. I push Noah away, leaning back in the circle of his arms to look into his lust-glazed eyes. It’s then I know for sure Kaleb’s right. Either I decide to go all the way with Noah or no more kisses. And as much as the idea of sex with him should make me weak in the knees with desire, it still scares me. Kisses are one thing, but sex changes everything. I can’t. Not yet.

I drop my forehead to his chest. “We can’t do this anymore, Noah. It isn’t fair.”

His lips graze through my hair. “Can’t do what?”

I push away until he finally releases me from his embrace. I can’t stop now but I can’t quite bring myself to meet his gaze. I watch the hypnotic rise and fall of his chest instead. “We—you—” I take a deep breath and run a trembling hand through my hair. I should have worked out how to phrase this before now. I don’t want to hurt Noah’s feelings, but I’ve never exactly had this conversation before, so I have no idea how to do it now. “We have to stop the kissing.”

He was still earlier, letting me sort through the argument in my head, but he positively freezes now. “We do? Why? Have I made you uncomfortable? Have I pushed too hard?”

I shake my head. It’s the opposite of what he thinks, but it doesn’t surprise me that his first thought is that he’s upset me somehow. “No, not at all.”

“Then what?” He cups my cheek in his calloused hand and as always, I’m putty in his hands.

“It isn’t fair to you,” I whisper, eyes closing as his thumb finds my lip. It’s like a magnet or something.

“It sure
seems
fair to me,” he rumbles. “I get to kiss the sexiest guy in my world and he seems to like it enough to kiss me back. What part of that is unfair?”

I look into his hazel eyes again, insanely pleased by his obviously hyperbolic compliment. “I’m not ready for more than that, Noah. I might never be. Kaleb says—”

“Baby, don’t you worry about Kaleb. He wants to see us both happy, but he doesn’t get to decide what’s best for us.” Noah smiles and tweaks my nose. “So I hope you don’t mind if I keep on kissing you. I know you’re not ready to go beyond that and I’m more than okay with that. We do everything on your time table. I just want to be with you, keep getting to know you.” He grins wickedly. “And taste you every now and then. Are you okay with that?”

I nod, relieved and overwhelmed at once.

“Good.” He nods and flashes that grin again. “Besides, how many other men have you let kiss you?”

“None!”

“Exactly.” He presses a sweet kiss to my lips, then licks a line to my ear. He takes the lobe between his teeth in a gentle bite and whispers, “Win.”

I shiver and laugh at the same time, turning my head to accept another deep kiss from the most amazing man I’ve ever known. Noah swats my behind and steps away. “Time to turn the steaks. You like yours medium rare, right?”

“Yes, please.” I stare after him, almost confused. That’s it? After all the freaking out the conversation with Kaleb caused me, Noah’s going to dismiss his best friend’s concerns just like that? I watch him flip the meat before voicing my doubts. “Noah, are you sure? I mean, Kaleb is right about it not being fair.”

Noah frowns over his shoulder at me, closing the lid on the grill. “Kaleb isn’t part of this.” He strides confidently back to my side and frames my face with his hands. “You and I are the only two people who have a say in whether or not we’re friends with kisses, or friends with benefits, or anything else. I’m perfectly happy the way we are. If you’re not, then we should talk about that. I don’t want to hurt you or force you into anything you don’t want to do. But if I’m going too slow, you should tell me that, too.” He tenderly caresses my bangs away from my eyes. “So? Should we talk or can I kiss you again?”

I’m not stupid. I know Kaleb’s assertions are valid. Noah will want more than I can possibly give him. It may be next week or next month or even six months from now, but that day isn’t today, apparently. Instead of living in fear of the consequences of every thought or action, in this one instance, I’m going to ignore that cautioning voice in my head. Being with Noah is worth whatever heck I’ll have to pay later. Smiling, I wrap my arms around his neck and bring my lips a fraction of an inch from his. “Kiss me,” I whisper.

To my surprise and relief, we keep up a friendly banter all through the rest of the preparation and consumption of the meal. It’s only when Noah starts making noise about dessert that I realize I should have brought something, should have contributed more than just a healthy appetite. And I have eaten heartily. The marinade he used on the steak added a sweet and tangy flavor to the meat that my mouth fell in love with. The salad and potatoes were good, too, but the steak was among the best I’ve ever had.

“I should have brought something for dessert,” I say, my face heating with embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think.”

Noah’s hand covers mine on the table and he smiles at me. “It’s okay, little one. I’ve got this covered.” He takes the two steps from the table to the counter that divides the room and picks up his phone. It’s identical to the one he gave me yesterday. I pat my slacks pocket protectively to make sure mine is still there and safe. He texts something and puts the phone back down.

He smiles at me again and extends his hand. “Let’s go watch a movie. I picked up
Wolverine
the other day. How does that sound?”

I give him my hand and let him pull me upright and into his arms. They close around me as his lips descend on mine. I moan into his mouth and lean against him, realizing just how far we’ve progressed from that first meeting. Instead of terrifying me as he did then, this big man wrapped around me makes me feel safe and cared for. It’s a feeling I could come to like very much.

I push him back. “Too much,” I pant, staring at his rapidly rising and falling chest.

“No, baby,” he coos. “Not nearly enough. But it’s okay, we’ll slow down.” He presses a kiss to my forehead and steps away toward the living room, pulling me along by the hand.

I look at our joined hands and give in to the dopey smile that spreads across my lips.

In the living room, I sit gingerly on the edge of the couch, suddenly nervous. How will this work? Will Noah want to cuddle again like we did the night of the basketball game? Or will he sit in one of the chairs by himself? I feel the tension threading through my body as he fiddles endlessly with the Blu-ray and its player. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. We’ve had a good night, or at least I think it has been. Perhaps I should go now before things get really awkward.

The sound of Noah’s doorbell slams through my brain like a shot, scattering all thoughts, coherent or otherwise.

Noah rises from his spot in front of the television. “That’ll be our dessert.” He smiles so big at me I almost miss the slight coloring of his cheeks. He holds a hand out to me. “Come get the door with me. I may need the extra hands.”

I narrow my eyes at him, suspicion edging the corners of my mind, but I slide my hand into his and follow him to the door. The color in his cheeks tells me he’s up to something, but I haven’t the foggiest idea what it could be. As he reaches for the knob, the bell sounds again, making me jump. Impatient clod, I think.

Noah opens the door with me at his side and I’m immediately bowled over by the disjointed chorus of “Happy birthday, Avery!” that erupts from the motley crew in the hall.

I’m so stunned it takes me a minute to realize Kira is standing there holding a large rectangular cake, festooned with blazing candles. Behind her, jostling for position are Kyle, Kaleb, Josh, Molly and Brian. The only one missing is Sam, but I know he’s at work.

I hear Noah chuckle beside me and turn to stare up at him through watery eyes.

“Happy birthday, baby.” He laughs down at me, clearly pleased with himself.

I launch myself at him to stem the tears, wrapping my arms around his broad shoulders. “Thank you,” I whisper into his neck. “How did you know?”

He hugs me back tightly. “I asked Sam a while ago, then put this together a couple of weeks ago. Except for you. I was afraid you wouldn’t come by yourself. But you did!”

I draw back to look up at him in wonderment. Sam is the only other person who has ever made a big deal out of my birthday. Aside from him—and the K’s since he started dating Kira—no one has ever cared. My birthday. I’ve always hated it because of what it means—it was the start of all the hatred that has come my way. Mother, of course, never celebrated the day with me after Dad died. If anything, it was cause for worse treatment: more bruises and a broken bone or two, those were my usual birthday gifts.