Out of Darkness (8 page)

“Yeah. Doc Jones told me to ask you to take me there. I’m not sure what’s there, but she said it was crucial to my recovery.”

He hopped on the bike and patted the seat behind him for her. Once she got on and put her arms around him, he turned his face into hers and quickly connected their lips. “This, baby, is going to be my complete pleasure.”

Chapter Ten

M
eredith couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face as she and Tyler made their way north up I-65. Being with him on a bike was quickly becoming her very favorite place to be. As he wove in and out of traffic, she enjoyed the scenery. A few years before, a major ice storm had destroyed most of the brush and trees along the interstate, but they were beginning to make a comeback. Given the time of year and the fact they’d had plenty of rain, the colors were beautiful. Gripping his waist, she took the moment to lean her head against his back and just breathe.

It felt like this every time.

She could breathe with him around. She could let down her guard and not worry that someone would hurt her. It was nice, relaxing, and freeing. His presence seemed to be the only relief she could get from the jittery, nervous feelings that constantly resided in her stomach.

Watching the miles tick away, she glanced at the next green sign that indicated how far they were away from certain destinations in Kentucky. This particular one showed Upton to be only a few miles up the road. Her stomach gave a lurch, but this time not in fear, in excitement.

As the bike ate up the miles, she noticed a sign up ahead proclaiming Jesus saved. She raised her eyebrows as Tyler took that exit and slowed down the bike. A stop sign at the end of the road told they could go either left or right, he chose right and then hung another right at the next road. It looked like they were in the middle of nowhere and her curiosity was piqued. They passed a gas station and a run-down motel before pulling into a parking lot where the back side of the building proclaimed this was a sex shop that was open 24/7 including Christmas Day.

He parked the bike and turned it off, getting off it as he gauged her reaction carefully.

“A sex store?”

The grin that came to his face looked like it couldn’t be helped. “Tell me exactly what your therapist said to you, because I’m intrigued. By the way, you’ll need your ID.”

She took the moment to glance down into the saddle bag that she stowed her stuff in, fishing out her ID. It gave her just enough time to get the redness in her face under control. This was so far out of her element that she wanted to run screaming.

“Masturbation,” she mumbled.

This grin was shit eating. “Well, we’ve come to the right place, sweetheart. After you,” he ushered her into the store.

Once inside, she did her best not to let her eyes pop out of her head. It was sensory overload at its finest. Before they could pass into the main store, a man requested both their ID’s and ticked them off with a ticker he held in his hand. The smile he gave Tyler made her blood curl just a little.

“You come here often?” she hissed.

“I’m not gonna lie. I’m a red-blooded male. I been here a few times.”

That was so not what she wanted to hear. Had he come here with other women? Had they eagerly picked out toys to use and videos to watch and then gone back to his dorm room and put them all to use? It took the shine off the experience.

“I’ve never been here with another woman, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

He could always read what she felt, could always see inside her head, and she needed it so bad sometimes. “Thanks for not makin’ me ask that.”

“I could tell you were interested.”

An awkward beat passed between the two of them, and she had to look away from his face. Sometimes the intensity she saw there was too much for her to handle.

“So what am I looking at here?”

Tyler looked at her, eyebrows raised. “You don’t know? You never been in one of these stores or to any of your girlfriend’s parties?”

“Let’s just say I’ve never really had that many girlfriends, and no I’ve never been to a store like this before.”

He knew that this next question would be very uncomfortable for her, so he leaned in as close as he could. It was so close his hair brushed her shoulder and his lips lightly touched her ear. “Please tell me you’ve masturbated before.”

She immediately tensed up and he took a step back. “No, I didn’t tense because you were that close to me, that was actually nice. I tensed up because of well, you know, the other thing,” her face flashed a hot red.

“You are twenty-four years old, how can you be embarrassed about this?” he laughed, putting an arm around her neck and pulling her close.

Meredith buried her head in his chest and blew out a deep breathe, collecting herself. “This just isn’t who I am, I’ve never been really good at dealing with this stuff. It’s always embarrassed me. I grew up in a home where sex wasn’t discussed.”

Come to think of it, not much was discussed in her home besides the fact she needed to go to college and make something of herself. Her family wasn’t well off, but they didn’t lack for anything. None of them had been good at showing their feelings, which was probably why now she preferred just to stay away. It was easier than trying to make her parents feel something that she wasn’t ever sure had been there.

“Well we’re gonna discuss it. We’re gonna start with what the therapist said you need to be doin’. So let’s go over to this wall right here.”

He steered her to a wall of brightly colored vibrators and other female sex toys.

“Just pick me something out,” she moaned.

Putting his hand on her chin, he turned her around so that he could see in her eyes and she could see in his. “This has to be you, Meredith. You have to decide what you’re going to do here. Do you want to heal or do you want to be stuck in the same place you are right now. If I pick this out for you, then he’s still won because you won’t embrace your femininity.”

Tears sprung to her eyes. All of a sudden, it made sense. Doctor Jones had wanted Tyler to bring her here because he got it. He knew that she needed to be pushed, but in a positive way. He encouraged her to make her own decisions and accomplish her own victories. “You’re right. Thank you for this.”

“Now if you want me here while you do this, I’ll be here. If you don’t want me here, I’ll go over to the men’s section. It’s up to you.”

Again he gave her the space to make her own decision.

“I think I wanna do this on my own,” she whispered.

Tyler nodded and leaned down, kissing her on the forehead. “I’ll be right over there if you need me.”

When he left, she stood gazing at the wall. It was so overwhelming, the amount of options she had to choose from. Part of her wanted to grab them and feel of them, but she was too shy. Pushing her hair behind her ears, she gnawed on her bottom lip in thought.

“You can pick them up if you want you know?” the man who’d checked her ID when she’d come in had come up behind her, obviously ready to make a sale.

Her hands and voice shaking, she took that leap forward. “I just don’t really know what I want.”

The salesman reached around her and picked up one of the smaller models and held it out to her. “Do you like the way this feels? It’s small, but powerful. If you don’t care about the girth, then I’ve had a lot of women come back and tell me they love this. Now if it’s something like a real dick you want, you’ll want one of those bigger ones over there. All vibrate, but some of them have more features than the other. If this if your first time in a shop like this, then I recommend you get two instead of one. Get two completely opposite of each other, that way you can really find out what you like. Don’t be scared to pick them up and get a feel of them. They won’t bite.”

His candidness was exactly what she needed. He smiled at her as he talked, engaging her in the conversation. It made her feel like she wasn’t the only woman who’d ever been at a shop like this, doing what she was doing. It was everything she’d hoped for when she made this journey.

After she’d selected what she wanted, she and Tyler walked up to the checkout and she hid her head in Tyler’s chest again as the salesman tested the products to make sure they worked.

Tyler and the salesman had a good rapport and teased her good naturedly. The smile on her face was one of the first that had seemed genuine since her attack. After everything was in the bag, Tyler pulled out cash to pay for her purchases.

“No, Ty,” she tried to push at his hand. Funny, she’d never felt comfortable enough with him to have a nickname before, but she did now. Maybe this trip had done more for her than even the good doctor had figured.

He pushed her hand out of the way. “Let me do this for you.”

She could see in his eyes how much he wanted to do it and she grinned, letting him know it was okay. As they left the store, the smile stayed on her face.

“That smile is a good look on you,” he commented as they made their way to his bike.

“This smile is one hundred percent because of you, Tyler Blackfoot.”

That statement warmed his heart more than anything else had in a very long time.

“What do you say? Get me home and I can try this stuff out?”

Her flirtiness surprised him, but if she felt comfortable then he would not discourage her. “Whatever you feel like, baby.”

As they hopped on the bike, she thought about what he’d said. For the first time in a long time she felt sexy, dangerous, wild, wanton, and like an improved version of herself. She realized that she felt like a woman who wanted to seduce her man. She wasn’t sure if she could go through with it or not, but just having the want was enough for her.

Chapter Eleven