Out of Control (Losing Control Series Book 2) (10 page)

“It’s none of my business, Ethan, and to tell you the truth, I don’t want to know. She’s my boss’s wife, for Christ’s sake.” I was shaking and I wanted him to leave before I started crying.

“I’m sorry, Gia,” he said. “How long will your work take you? I could leave and come back so we could talk.”

“No. It’ll be a while and then I need to get ready for the rest of the week.” Two lies in one sentence. That was a bad sign. “Plus, I told you I don’t want to know, so why would I want to talk about it?”

“I don’t want to leave it like this,” he said. “Gia, will you please look at me?” I stopped shuffling papers around and looked up at him. “I don’t want to leave while you’re upset.”

I looked back at my desk and logged on to my computer. “I’m not upset. I just have a lot to do. It’s all good.” Three lies in one breath. I was really pushing it.

“When can I see you again?” he asked quietly. I think he was scared to hear the answer.

“I don’t know. Call me,” I said.

“Can I take you to dinner tomorrow night?” he asked. “Please, Gia.”

“I don’t know, Ethan. Just call me. I’m sorry, but I really have to get this done for Mr. Evans.” I looked at him and I felt bad. He looked almost scared. I had to give him something. “Okay, Ethan, how about dinner on Wednesday night? Would that be all right?”

“Yes, although I’d rather see you tomorrow. But I’ll be here Wednesday at six to pick you up. Can I still call you later?” He was unbelievable.

“Yes,” I said and it made him smile a little bit.

“Good.” He took me in his arms. I hugged him back and gave him a quick kiss. It was all I had for him and it was more than I felt like giving at that moment.

“Gia, please don’t forget about what happened between us in the last few days. It was real and you felt it, too.” He kissed my cheek.

As soon as he left I quickly typed the e-mail and pushed send. Then I curled up in my little spot on my couch and thought about Ethan and Bridget. I imagined him telling her all the things he’d told me. Tears started running down my cheeks. I thought about what Vince had said about him and Ethan sharing women and I got a sick feeling. It didn’t matter that Ethan had seen me before and wanted to meet me. He wanted to fuck me just like he did all those other women and I was blinded by his charm. My door buzzer sounded and I hesitantly pulled myself up and went to it.

“Yes?” I said.

“Delivery for Gia.”

“Come up.” I buzzed him in.

I opened the door and stepped out to meet him at the top of the stairs. He was carrying the biggest bouquet of flowers I’d ever seen. I’d gotten a dozen roses once but this was four times as big and they were absolutely gorgeous.

“Thank you,” I said and went back into my apartment. I set them on my little table and they filled it completely. I opened the card.

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I’d never forgive myself

If I hurt you.

I’m sorry, Ethan.

I held it to my chest and fell back onto the couch, crying. And that’s where I stayed for the next two hours. I thought about the whole weekend. I tried to remember everything that happened and everything Ethan said to me. I was confused and I didn’t know what to believe. I just wish I knew who he really was and how he really felt about me. My phone rang.
Shit, it was my dad.
I was supposed to call him when I got home.

“Hi, Dad.” I talked to him for a few minutes. I told him I was real tired from the weekend but I would talk to him soon. He seemed to believe me and we hung up. I let out a sigh and fell back down on the couch. My phone rang again, it was Dana. I didn’t feel like talking to her right now so I let it go to voicemail. My phone beeped. It was a text from ‘Your biggest fan.’

I miss u

I have a meeting,

then I’ll call u.

I miss u

It was Ethan. He was my biggest fan. I started crying again. I fell asleep and my phone ringing woke me up. It was Ethan. I let it go to voicemail. Then I turned my phone to silent mode and I curled up into my little ball and cried myself to sleep again.

***

Ethan

I left like she wanted me to. I headed straight down the street to the flower shop we’d walked by earlier and ordered the biggest bouquet I could and asked if they could deliver it immediately. I headed home. I felt like a horrible person. I’d hurt my sweet Gia. She was the one person in the world that I wanted to protect and I hurt her. I tried to put myself in her shoes. How would I feel if she’d slept with Vince or something? The thought made me sick and jealous and hurt. It didn’t matter that I didn’t know Gia at the time. The fact that she had to see Bridget often made the situation even worse. She’d be reminded of it constantly.

I thought about it all the way home and when I finally got there I had convinced myself that I had to go back. I needed to go back to Gia and talk it out. I had to make her remember the me that she’d gotten to know, not the me that slept with her friend. But when I pulled up to the house I saw Rose and Don sitting out front and remembered I had a meeting with Rose.
Shit!

I decided I’d text Gia and tell her I’d call her after my meeting. I looked through my contacts and there was no Gia!
Okay, now I’m definitely heading back to the city
. But then I saw it, ‘Hotness.’ She put her number in under ‘Hotness.’ I was smiling as I texted her.

Rose was being very efficient as usual. She insisted on going over everything from the entire weekend and there was a lot. Everything went extremely well and at the end of the meeting she showed me the financials as a whole. After all the bars and the campground and ticket sales and everything was added up and everything was paid for, I almost fell off my chair. She and Don loved my reaction.

“Are you kidding me?” I asked.

“No, Ethan. You did very well for one weekend, I’d have to say!” Rose said.

“Shit! I think that’s more than I usually make in an entire season.”

“Yes, it is!” Rose answered. She was really proud of me.

“Thank you guys for everything you’ve done for me and sticking beside me even when things got pretty rough.” I couldn’t have done it without them.

They both just smiled. “Where’s Gia?” Don asked.

“I took her back to the city. She has to work tomorrow,” I told them.

“She seems really nice, dear.” Rose said and Don nodded.

“She’s amazing.” I smiled.

They were happy I’d met someone special and we visited for a little while longer before they left.

As soon as they did I grabbed my phone and called Hotness. It rang only once and her voicemail answered.
Shit!
I quickly convinced myself that she was really tired and went to bed. I was really tired too, so I left her a message and went to brush my teeth. As I did I thought about all the fun Gia and I had in this bathroom the last few days. I’d give anything to have her here right now brushing her teeth beside me.

When I crawled into my bed, I immediately went to Gia’s pillow and took a deep breath. It smelled just like her. I had to sleep where she’d slept. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow so I could talk to her. We had to work this out and pick up where we’d left off.

I think I woke up every hour all through the night. I couldn’t rest not knowing how Gia was, if she was thinking about me, and if she was then what was she thinking? I was driving myself crazy. I wanted to see if she’d still look at me the same way and I didn’t know if I could wait until Wednesday evening to find out, but I might have to depending on what she said to me tomorrow. I needed to get some sleep.

I decided when I woke up at six to get up. I’d call Gia in half an hour. She should be up and getting ready to go to work by then. I took a shower and made something to eat. I grabbed my phone, found ‘Hotness,’ and called. It only rang once and I got her voicemail again. I left her another message. My stomach felt uneasy. I really needed to hear her voice and see if she was still bothered about the Bridget thing. I called the flower shop but they weren’t open yet. I didn’t want Gia to go to work before I got to talk to her, so I texted her. Then I just waited.

Chapter 14

Gia

When I woke up I still had the card Ethan sent with the flowers on my chest. I was feeling really depressed and was glad I didn’t have to go to work. I picked up my phone, it was seven fifteen. I had a text from my biggest fan and a few voicemail messages. First message was from Dana. She knew I was home since I had picked up my car and she wanted to chat about the weekend. Next message was from Ethan. He’d just finished his meeting and hoped I was doing okay. He missed me and couldn’t wait to talk to me in the morning. Next message was from Ethan, too. It was about forty-five minutes ago.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said. “I was hoping you’d be up and getting ready for work by now. I hope you had a good night and I’m anxious to hear your voice. Gia, I’m sorry. Please call me. Bye.” He sounded sad.

Then I read the text. It came right after the last voicemail.

Please call me

before u go to

work. I can’t

wait until tonite

to talk to u.

He was waiting for me to call but I didn’t want to right now. I was trying to figure things out. I needed some time. I didn’t want to get hurt again. I couldn’t deal with that on top of the other stuff I hadn’t dealt with yet. I grabbed the phone book and opened the yellow pages to ‘therapists.’ I looked up and down the pages. My stomach felt nauseous. I didn’t need to do this right now I decided. I got up and looked out the window. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful day. I walked back to the couch and went back to sleep.

I dreamt about Ethan. It was so real.
We were making love. He looked into my eyes and he told me I was the only woman he’d ever wanted. He wanted me to move in with him and let him take care of me forever. I held back, but somehow he knew everything about me and he still wanted me. My heart was full to bursting and tears were running down my face. Then Lex walked into Ethan’s house and told me to get in the car and go home. I looked at Lex, then at Ethan. I could feel my heart breaking as I grabbed my clothes and ran to the door. When I went outside, Bridget and Shelley were standing there laughing and pointing at me. I jumped in my car and took off as fast as I could. I was crying so hard I could hardly breathe. I turned my music up really loud…even though I was long gone, I could still hear their laughter. I pushed the gas pedal to the floor. Before I knew it, I lost control. As my car was flying off the edge of a cliff, I woke up.

I just lay there on the couch thinking of the dream. I was used to having bad dreams and it certainly wasn’t one of the worst I’d had. I went to my purse and grabbed a cigarette. I never smoked in my apartment but I didn’t care right now. I lit it and took a drag. It tasted fantastic. I went to the fridge and grabbed a half empty bottle of wine and an empty can off the counter to use as an ashtray and took them back to the couch. I drank right out of the bottle and smoked three cigarettes in a row. I was starting to feel a little better.

I went back to the kitchen to see what else I had to drink. I had some tequila that Dana and I had used to make some margaritas a while back so I grabbed that. It tasted disgusting but I managed to take a couple of shots anyway. Then I laid down and tried to go back to sleep, but I was restless, so I went to the bathroom and dug through the bottom drawer and found the sleeping pills I had hidden in there. I went back to the couch and took one with a swig of the nasty tequila. I laid back down and closed my eyes.

I thought I heard my door buzzer at one time but managed to sleep through it. The next time I woke up completely I looked at the clock and it was three p.m. I still had my phone on silent mode and didn’t even bother to look to see if I had any messages. I went to the kitchen to get something to eat and when I saw the calendar on the fridge I realized today was rent day. The thought of seeing Bridget was overwhelming. I went back to the couch and took another sleeping pill and two more shots of tequila. I put my ear buds in and picked my favorite playlist. Then I sat there and smoked a cigarette before I passed out again.

***

Ethan

I sat there for a half an hour staring at my phone. I’d checked it three times to make sure it was working. Gia never called or texted. I knew she probably had to be at work by eight so I was watching the clock, too. Why wouldn’t she at least text and say she’d call me later or something, anything? I was going crazy over this. I’d never been like this over a woman. I had to try to keep myself busy today or I was going to jump in the truck and head to the city, but I didn’t want to be a stalker.

I stuck my phone in my pocket and headed to the arena to work on some stuff. I tried to get my mind to focus on something other than Gia but it was impossible. I looked at my phone. It was seven forty-five and I knew if she had to work at eight I should be able to get through to her now so I called her. I got her voicemail again and left her another message.

“Gia, I know by now that you’re avoiding me. Please just call or text and let me know that you’re okay. I’m suffering right now thinking that you don’t want anything to do with me because of Bridget. Is that what it is? Did I do something else, Gia? Please don’t ignore me. It’s killing me.” I hung up. I know it probably sounded desperate but that’s exactly what I was.

I worked on a couple of projects and found that if I thought about all the beautiful things Gia and I had shared the last few days it made it a little easier to function. I decided to get some lunch.

As I headed home, Trey pulled up in the cart. “Hey, whatcha workin’ on?”

“Oh, just a few things I noticed yesterday morning when Gia and I drove through here. What’re you up to?” I asked him.

“I’m headed over to VIP to work on some stuff with Vince. Want to come along?”

“No,” I told him. “I’m gonna get some lunch and then check in on Marcus. I’ll see you later, though.”

“Sounds good, bro.” He took off.

When I got home I called Gia. She didn’t answer, of course, but I left her another message.

“The only thing getting me through the day is thinking of you.” It was all I said because I’d already left the desperate message earlier and I knew she was at work and couldn’t call me back anyway. At least she knew I was thinking about her.

I ate some lunch and then headed over to the campground. I had a good visit with Marcus and helped him with a few things he needed to get done before Friday. As long as I was keeping busy I was able to keep my sanity. I went from one project to another and finally headed home to shower and have some dinner.

As I cooked I kept glancing at the spot on the counter where Gia had sat so many times. I thought of her swinging her legs and eating pizza that night before we made love for the first time. I took my food to the table to eat. I sat where Gia had after her sexy striptease the other day before she proved to me that hard and fast could be passionate, too.

Taking a shower was torture. I stood under the water and when I closed my eyes, all I could see was Gia with soap running down her perfect body, begging me to take her where no one had ever taken her before. To want her like no one had ever wanted her before. To love her like no one had ever loved her before. I thought I’d done all that but here I was without her. She wouldn’t even talk to me. Did I do everything I could’ve to take her where she’d never been? To make her feel wanted more than she ever had? To show her that I loved her more than anyone else ever could? I jumped out of the shower and dried off. I ran to my dresser and grabbed some clothes. I had to go to her.

I noticed something fall out of my drawer when I grabbed a shirt. I picked it up—it was Gia’s panties. Not the white lacy ones that I put in my pocket but the ones she wore the night we made love. The night she fulfilled the fantasy I’d had for ten years about her. I put them back, grabbed my shoes and my phone, and ran out the door.

When I got out on the road I called her. “Gia, I’m so sorry I left yesterday. I shouldn’t have left while you were upset. I told you I’d take care of you and then the first time I upset you I left. I’m so sorry. I’m on my way to see you now. I can’t wait to see you.” I was sure I sounded crazy. I said everything so fast and my heart was pounding in my chest so hard I thought I might pass out but I wanted her to know that I knew I shouldn’t have left yesterday.

I was about fifteen minutes away and my phone rang. My heart leaped out of my chest as I answered it immediately, thinking it might be Gia.

“Ethan?” I wasn’t sure who it was.

“Yes,” I said.

“Ethan, is Gia with you?” It was Dana.

“No. I’m on my way to her place now, though. What’s wrong, Dana?” I could hear panic in her voice.

“Have you talked to her today?”

“No. She won’t return my calls. I haven’t talked to her since yesterday afternoon. What’s wrong, Dana?” I asked her again. Now I was in a panic.

“What do you mean she won’t return your calls? Did you guys have a fight or something?” She sounded like she might be crying.

“We had a little incident. Why, Dana? You’ve got to tell me what’s going on!” I yelled.

“No one has talked to her since yesterday. She hasn’t answered her phone or returned anyone’s calls. She knows better than to do this. I’m heading over there, too!” She hung up.

What the fuck?
I stepped on the gas. What did she mean, ‘She knows better than to do this’? No one has talked to her? Did that mean she didn’t go to work? I was driving as fast as I could and I said a prayer for Gia.
Please let her be okay!
I couldn’t believe I left her yesterday!