Our Kind of Love (32 page)

Anna knew in her heart that he was wrong. ‘Good luck with everything.’

She left him there, in the dark, as she went back inside, her heart breaking a little more with every step.

Joe didn’t go home. He needed to walk, needed to burn off the clouds that were swirling around inside his head like a winter’s storm. Half an hour later, without realising it, he found himself outside the pub. He sat on the wooden bench across the road near the cliff railing and stared into the night.

Are you going back to Sydney and that life?

He’d been asking himself the same question for six months.

What the hell was he doing?

This wasn’t life he was living. This was limbo. When he’d driven halfway across the country last year, when he’d fled Sydney and his imploding life, the only plan he had in mind was to get the hell away from his failures as fast as he could. And what had he done since then?

Almost nine-tenths of fuck all. This wasn’t living. It was being stuck in a time warp.

The only thing keeping him going had been the idea of Anna. When she was in his arms and in his bed, she was real, flesh and blood, vibrant, out-of-this world, a living and breathing dream. And now she was gone, too. It was time to stop the pretending this wasn’t real life. It was time to stop pretending this whole pit-stop away from Sydney was temporary.

Joe turned to look over his shoulder. The pub was closed for the night, but it stood strong, a silent sentinel, watching over him. Was this it, his future? Back here, nestled in the bedraggled arms of this hotch-potch collection of family and in his childhood home with the pink flamingos?

Family. That word reverberated inside his head like a threat. Anna was right in picking up that he’d never wanted kids. Maybe it came from being babied by the three women he’d lived with when he was growing up: his grandmother, his mum and his baby sister. There had never been a man in the house. He’d had no role model to show him what a real father should be like. How he should act. He’d gone fishing with his grandmother and had learnt to ride a bike with the boys next door. He’d fallen off his surfboard a hundred times with the kids from school before he’d mastered it. There hadn’t been any man to stand up for him with the school principal when he’d got into trouble for wagging. He’d had no one to be his champion, his friend or mentor like other kids had had.

Joe knew his father’s name. It was on his birth certificate but it wasn’t a name they’d shared. And that was about all he knew of the man who’d contributed half his DNA, other than the fact that he was an abusive arsehole and they were all better off without him. His mother had never said much about him except, ‘Good riddance to bad rubbish’. The old man had walked out as soon as his mum had had Lizzie, and that’s when his little rag-tag family had moved down to Middle Point and in with his maternal grandmother. Joe had been just three years old when his world changed overnight. Through the years, Joe had tried to picture him, but there was nothing. Not even the sound of his voice or maybe the memory of playing cricket on the beach with his dad.

He’d never had a father to show him what it would be like to be one. And the thought that nature would win over nurture and he might turn out just like him? It scared the hell out of him. Joe had seen enough of life close up to be convinced that there were some blokes who just weren’t meant to be fathers. Better their DNA wasn’t passed on to anyone.

And he’d always believed he was one of them.

So maybe Anna was right. This was something they couldn’t paper over and they had to end it before it had really begun. If she wanted kids, she deserved to find someone who could give her that. Someone who wanted the family and the settling down and the home that she wanted.

If he was honest with himself, he didn’t want a bar of a life like that. But that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. It didn’t mean there wasn’t an empty space in his chest that only one person seemed to be able to fill.

‘Wake up, Joe.’

Joe dragged his eyes open. Lizzie was looming over him. Out of habit rather than hope, his left arm flopped out to feel if Anna was in the bed next to him. Then his new reality hit. She was gone.

‘What the fuck, Mosquito?’ he groaned and turned to bury his face in the pillow.

‘We need you to get up. Dan and I have something to tell you.’ Lizzie stomped off and slammed the door behind her. Joe sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed and rubbed his eyes. What was so fucking important that they had to wake him up at the crack of dawn.

What the?

He sprung out of bed, threw on a T-shirt and some shorts and met Lizzie and Dan in the kitchen. He stopped at the calm scene before him. Dan was cooking breakfast and Lizzie was stirring a cup of coffee.

‘What’s happened? Is it Julia? Is it the baby? What?’ And then, even worse. ‘Has something happened to Anna?’

Lizzie’s broad grin told him it was none of the above and relieved, he pushed a hand through his hair.

‘You look like you need this, Stinkface.’

Joe took the cup of coffee from his sister and sat at the table.

Dan and Lizzie exchanged glances.

‘Tell him, Lizzie,’ Dan said, his face serious.

‘Okay. So here it is. Joe, we wanted to tell you before we flew out tonight. When we get back from Europe, I won’t be coming back here to this house. I’m going to be moving in with Dan at the little green beach shack.’

Joe put his coffee down on the table, turned to them both with a smile. Well, it was about time there was good news around here. ‘Good.’

Lizzie looked at Dan nervously. ‘Is that it?’

‘You got a problem with that, Joe?’ Dan asked.

It wasn’t a surprise at all. What was a surprise was that Lizzie had felt the need to announce it to him, seek his permission almost. That was kind of nice and he felt a swell of big brotherly love in his heart.

‘You’re not looking for my approval are you?’

‘No, but I’d like to think you’re happy about it.’

She would always be the little sister who wanted her big brother’s attention. Joe pushed back his chair, went to Lizzie and hugged her.

‘Of course I’m bloody well happy. Congratulations, really.’ He shook Dan’s hand. ‘It’s fantastic. It really is.’

‘Really?’ Lizzie said, her beaming smile a ray of hope.

Joe smiled. ‘Remember what I said to you at Ry and Julia’s wedding? That you deserved your shot at happiness? I distinctly remember telling you that if you happen to find it, find
the
one, it’s knock-your-socks-off, the best thing in the world.’

Lizzie teared up and Dan’s arm was around her shoulder.

‘When you’re lucky and you find the right person, they become your reason for getting up every morning and your reason for going to bed every night.’

‘Ever thought of a career writing greeting cards?’ Dan slapped Joe on the shoulder.

‘And give up my blossoming bartender career? Shit, no.’

‘Thanks Joe,’ Lizzie sniffed. ‘That’s means a lot to me.’ His sister hugged him again.

‘Yeah yeah.’ Was Lizzie crying into his shirt? ‘That was all bullshit. To tell the truth, I’ve hated living with you again. Be glad to get you out of my hair, Mosquito. You can have her, Dan.’

‘I plan to,’ Dan said with a gleam in his eyes.

‘Just be happy, you two.’

Be happy. The last time he’d been happy, really out of his head happy, was when he’d been with Anna. Surfing with Anna. Dancing with Anna. Fighting with Anna. Making love with Anna. Shit, even eating breakfast with her had made him happy. What would he do now to fill the big, wounded, gaping hole she’d left? He rubbed the back of his neck, tried to sound like a wise old man rather than a smartarse. Weren’t big brothers supposed to have all the answers? If he had a headline for these two, what would it be? He found it.

‘Love only comes around once in a while. Don’t fuck it up.’

Dan chuckled. ‘Yeah, maybe greeting cards not such a great idea.’

Lizzie and Joe sat at the table and Dan made another round of coffee.

‘So you all packed?’ Joe asked.

‘All done. I’ve been ready for a week. I can’t wait. What about you, what are you and Anna up to today?’ There was more than one question in Lizzie’s eyes and in her pursed lips.

Joe tried not to look as morose as he felt. ‘I’m not seeing Anna today.’

‘Why not?’

Joe took a deep breath, tried not to take it out on Lizzie. ‘Because we’re not seeing each other anymore.

‘What?’ Lizzie gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. ‘It’s over?’
Bloody hell, was she about to cry again?

‘I really don’t want to talk about it, Lizzie.’

‘What’s over?’ Dan filled their coffee cups and stood with the coffee pot in his hand, looking from sister to brother.

‘I’ve got to get ready for work. Thanks for the coffee.’ Joe pushed his cup into the middle of the table and headed for the bathroom. There was a door slam and then the sound of the shower.

Lizzie felt blindsided. She covered her face in her hands and tried not to let her heart break for her brother.

Dan’s hand was on the back of her neck, his warm fingers gently reassuring and comforting. ‘What’s going on?’

Lizzie looked up to meet his eyes. ‘Joe and Anna are over.’

Dan slumped into the chair next to her. ‘Well, shit. That’s sad for them. But it’s none of our business.’

‘Of course it is.’

‘Elizabeth. It really isn’t. It’s Anna’s and Joe’s. No one else’s.’

‘But he’s my brother,’ Lizzie whispered. ‘I’ve got to do something.’ What she couldn’t say was that she was worried this news would send him back to Sydney. That he would once again leave her, and Middle Point, and her fragile hold on her only blood family would be disintegrated once again. She had a family now, she had no doubt of the one she’d created with Dan, Julia and Ry, and Harri. But it wouldn’t feel right if Joe wasn’t a part of it. Some part of her would never feel quite complete if her brother wasn’t in her life.

Dan reached for her hand. His strong fingers held hers and if she believed in a god, she’d want to thank him for giving Dan to her.

‘This isn’t your problem to fix. And I know how that kills you, my beautiful guardian angel of Middle Point.’ He leaned close and kissed her, soft, loving, everything she needed right at that moment.

‘You know me and I love you more each day for that.’

‘But you’re about to take a sabbatical, remember? We’re flying off tonight in a big silver bird to see the world. Just you and me.’

Lizzie didn’t want to argue with Dan. As much as she’d saved him, he’d saved her right back. But surely, there was still a little love to go around when it came to Stinkface and the Doc? She’d spent the past six months living with her big brother and getting to know him as an adult. Some things about him hadn’t changed since he was a teenager. He was still a grot, for instance, leaving clothes, wet towels, old newspapers and books all over the place. He was still a cheeky smartarse and he was still, thankfully, stubborn as hell. When he wanted something, he simply didn’t give up. It was the part of his character that had driven him to succeed in school and in life and in his career. Lizzie knew in her gut that when he got over moping about Anna, he’d be ready to do something about it.

‘Just you and me.’ Lizzie still felt a shimmy in her heart every time she thought about those four simple words.

Dan’s eyes softened. ‘Joe was right when he said that love only comes around once in a while.’

She took him in, every inch of him. From his jet-black hair, thick and wavy, pushed back from his face, to those emerald eyes of his, which, she swore, sparkled every time he looked at her. And the smile that still lit her up from the inside.

‘If you’re lucky,’ Lizzie sighed. ‘Very lucky.’

‘I’m the luckiest man in the world, Elizabeth Blake.’ He held her hand with both of his, weaving their fingers together until they were knotted like rope. ‘You wanna get married?’

It was so Dan. So simple. A proposal here in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, sitting at the dining table she’d grown up sitting around. Where she’d learnt to draw and had done her homework; scratched her initials on the underside with a kitchen knife where no one could see; played a million board games as a child with her mum, her nanna and Joe. It was the place she’d laid out her rucksack and packed her bags for London all those years ago. When she’d returned, she’d sat down at it and written her mother’s obituary and then later, read her Will.

And now, this nondescript pine table would be the place she’d said yes to the man she loved with everything she was – and everything she would be.

‘I do, Dan McSwaine. I’d love to marry you.’

‘Good. I promise not to fuck it up.’

Lizzie laughed with a bursting heart. ‘Me too.’

CHAPTER
38

Julia looked up from her laptop. Lizzie had burst through the front door, pink-cheeked and grinning like a maniac.

‘Jools!’ she called and skipped over to the sofa, throwing herself next to her best friend.

Julia checked the time on the screen. ‘Shouldn’t you two be about to go? You don’t want to miss that plane and you know they demand you be there hours and hours before the flight actually leaves.’

Lizzie waved a hand and giggled. ‘It’s all in hand. I wanted to tell you something before we go. Something really important.’

‘Go on.’

‘Joe and Anna aren’t seeing each other anymore. I don’t know if I can technically say they’ve broken up because I’m not really sure how they were together. But anyway,’ Lizzie waved away that complication. ‘I won’t be here for four weeks and I need you to do for them what you did for me and Dan.’

Julia glanced down at her stomach. ‘Er hello. I’ll be a little busy growing a baby and sleeping. And eating. And panicking.’

‘You’re still a crisis management consultant, aren’t you?’

‘Of course.’ Julia pulled back her shoulders and stared proudly at her friend.

‘Well, this is a crisis of major proportions and there’s no one better to get in the middle of it and fix it than you, Chief Executive of Middle of Nowhere Consulting.’