She shuffled to the ensuite bathroom and sat down on the toilet, doing what every pregnant woman does for the thousandth time that night.
And when she’d finished and reached down to drag her knickers up, her waters broke.
She stared at the watery mess all over her feet and realised the fireworks were about to begin.
‘Ry!’ Her hands flew to her belly.
Where was her husband? ‘Ry!’ This time she heard her panicky voice echo in the bathroom.
‘What’s up?’ When Ry dragged his sleepy eyes open and saw what had happened, he grabbed a towel and flew to her.
‘Oh shit. Oh shit. Is this it?’
Julia nodded furiously. ‘Yes, this is it. Help me get dressed. We have to go to hospital. Now.’
Five minutes later, Julia was panting in the front seat of Ry’s car and wondering how much worse it could get. Ry was driving so slowly he was in danger of being arrested for driving too far under the speed limit. When the first contraction hit, it felt like her torso was twisting in half like a corkscrew. Julia vowed never ever to have another child.
‘Are you okay?’ Ry demanded, his eyes not leaving the road once.
‘Oh God … it’s stopped.’ When she could breathe again, Julia grabbed her phone and dialled. ‘Lizzie, it’s me. Yes, the baby’s coming. Ry’s driving me to hospital and the way he’s going, we might get there by the kid’s first birthday. No, don’t come yet. We’ll call you. Can you tell everybody? Okay. I love you too. I will. See you soon.’
Ry glanced in the rear-view mirror and turned up the Foo Fighters on the car stereo.
‘You are kidding me. Turn that down.’
He grinned at his wife. ‘I need something to drown out the sounds of your screaming.’
Julia laughed and then hit him. ‘Lizzie says you’d better get me there before the baby arrives or she’ll kill you.’
‘Understood.’ She may have been in the middle of labour, carrying something that was bigger than a basketball, with sleep-mussed hair and ankles so swollen they had actually disappeared – not that he’d ever tell her that – but she was fierce and magnificent. ‘Hey, I love you, you know.’
He reached out and rested his left hand on the baby bump and Julia’s bottom lip wobbled.
‘I love you too, Ry Blackburn. This is really happening, isn’t it?’
‘I bloody well hope so.’
‘Oh shit. I’d better call Anna.’ She found the number. ‘It’s me. Sorry to wake you. Yeah, it’s all happening. We’re about a half an hour away from—’
Ry had only ever heard a groan of such primal intensity on nature documentaries. It scared the hell out of him. He pulled the car off to the side of the road with a jerk and a skid on the gravel.
‘OH GOD!’ Julia threw her head back and clutched her stomach.
Ry snatched the phone from her hand. ‘Did you hear that? What do I do? Yeah, they’re pretty close together. Okay.’ Ry ended the call and threw the phone in the cup holder.
‘Anna’s calling the hospital to tell them we’re on our way. JJ, listen to me. You’re going to be all right.’
Julia had a sheen of sweat on her forehead and looked as white as a sheet.
‘For fuck’s sake, Ry, stop staring at me and get me to bloody hospital.’
Ry accelerated on to the road, cranked up the Foo Fighters some more and drove like hell.
‘Her name is Mary Elizabeth Blackburn-Jones.’
Anna stood at the side of Julia’s hospital bed and peered into the newborn’s tiny face. She was perfect, so soft and new, healthy as she could be. When her tiny eyes fluttered open and then closed in sleepy bliss, Julia sighed.
‘She’s a miracle.’ It was all Anna could say. She felt so emotional seeing them both together, her lovely friend cuddling this tiny life, that if she tried to say anything more, she would burst into loud and messy sobs. All she could do was ever so softly stroke the baby’s head, so downy and smooth, the softest thing she’d ever touched.
‘And what about her mum? How’re you feeling?’ Anna examined Julia’s face. She was pale with tired eyes and bed hair and resembled every other woman who’d just gone through labour; exhausted and exhilarated.
‘I’m in shock. And a little sore.’
‘When they offer you an ice pack, say yes. And medication. And what about your husband? How did Ry cope?’
Julia beamed. ‘You know it’s true love when your husband mops up the bathroom floor when your waters break and doesn’t even flinch. Well, at least not when I was looking, anyway.’ Julia’s look was far away and dreamy. ‘He was slightly panicked, like every expectant father in history, I guess. But his degree of difficulty was so much higher, seeing he had to drive all the way from Middle Point.’
‘You made it to the delivery ward just in time, I hear.’
‘Two minutes to spare. Ry flew up the ramp to the emergency entrance and almost crashed into an ambulance. I don’t remember much else. Except seeing her for the first time.’
The curtain around the bed swished aside and Ry arrived carrying two takeaway cups. He was beaming from ear to ear.
‘Here’s your peppermint tea, Anna. And one coffee for the new dad.’
‘Thanks Ry.’ She sipped it slowly, hoping it would calm her. Julia’s call had woken her up just before 2 a.m., and she’d thrown on some clothes and raced across Adelaide in her car through the almost empty streets, to reach Flinders Medical Centre forty minutes later. The adrenaline rush had sent her into wide wakefulness and she was having trouble coming down from it.
She’d sat in the waiting area until the baby was born. A quick glance at her watch revealed it was now 6 a.m. A new life on a new day. Anna knew in her head that this miracle happened every second somewhere in the world but this baby, Mary Elizabeth, felt special.
‘So what do you think of my little girl?’ Ry had perched himself gently on the side of the bed, staring into the face of his daughter. Anna could feel the tears welling up again and tried to blink them away.
‘I think Mary Elizabeth is going to grow up to be the second female Prime Minister of Australia,’ Anna said, wiping away a tear that had trickled down her cheek.
Ry and Julia exchanged a loving look.
‘Oh, I hope we get another before then,’ Julia smiled.
‘Forget Prime Minister. I’m aiming higher. Head of the United Nations,’ Ry grinned.
‘No pressure, of course,’ Julia said as she cuddled her baby tighter.
‘I’m sure she’ll be whatever she turns her mind to, and she’ll have the biggest cheer squad in the world behind her, encouraging her every step of the way. Not just you two, but Dan and Lizzie and Harri and Joe.’
‘Don’t forget my mother,’ Ry said. ‘I just called her. She’s probably being snapped by every red light camera between here and home.’
‘And who could blame her?’ Anna laughed.
‘Would you like to hold her?’ It took Anna a moment to realise Julia was talking to her. The two women shared a knowing look and Anna nodded. She lifted Mary from Julia’s arms and lowered herself into the plastic chair by the side of the bed, settling into a comfortable position. Mary’s tiny perfect head nestled into Anna’s arms. Ry and Julia’s whispered conversation became background noise along with the other sounds of the day coming to life; telephones ringing, footsteps, trolleys passing on the linoleum floor, laughter and voices. Anna took in every part of Mary’s little face. Her pinkish eyelids. Her full cheeks. Such full little lips and tiny, tiny eyelashes. Ry and Julia were so lucky.
Loud footsteps thumped towards the room and they all turned.
‘Jools?’ Lizzie appeared by the curtain with wide, wet eyes.
‘Lizzie?’ Anna said.
Dan was behind her, smiling like a loon, and there was Joe, too.
He gave Anna a small nod hello.
‘Oh look,’ Lizzie crouched down next to Anna. ‘Oh my God.’ She reached up and traced a gentle finger on the baby’s nose. ‘Are you okay, Jools?’
‘I’m perfect and so is she.’
‘She is. She’s … oh wow!’ Lizzie wiped her eyes.
‘Don’t you want to know what her name is?’ Julia asked.
‘It’s a girl?’ Dan peered over Lizzie’s shoulder.
‘She’s Mary.’
Lizzie stood and took the few steps in the small space to Julia’s side. ‘Your mother’s name. Oh, Jools.’ Lizzie carefully hugged her best friend and when she drew back, Julia held her hand and met her teary gaze.
‘She’s Mary Elizabeth.’
Lizzie gasped and burst into loud tears. Dan drew her into his arms and she sobbed into his shirt.
‘Lizzie,’ Anna said, ‘Come and sit here and have a cuddle.’ Lizzie swiped the tears from her cheeks and swapped places with Anna, who carefully transferred the baby into Lizzie’s arms. Then she stood back and Joe was next to her.
‘You’re pretty good at that.’ He looked down into her eyes. Anna’s heart lurched at the subtext to that simple compliment. She so wanted to be good at it. She’d sacrificed almost everything for just the smallest chance of having it.
‘I’ve had lots of practice. I see babies all the time. Cuddling them is one of the perks of my job. So, you came up with Dan and Lizzie?’
‘I didn’t want to miss out on all the action and besides, this might be a story for the
Gazette
.’
Anna smiled. ‘I’d expect nothing less than a front page splash for brilliant news like this.’
‘I may be able to pull some strings.’ Joe craned his neck to get another look at Mary Elizabeth. ‘Wow, she’s beautiful, isn’t she?’
‘Of course she is. Look at her parents.’
Anna took in the scene. Julia was resting on a mound of pillows, a pale blue cotton blanket pulled to her waist. Ry sat by her side, an arm about her, close, protective. Baby Mary was in the arms of her godmother Lizzie, and godfather Dan was leaning down, staring into the eyes of the little girl who would be so loved by all of them. Her Nonna’s words came back to her, a reminder of the fact that people could make their own families.
‘Hey, Uncle Joe, want a cuddle?’
Joe stilled. When he realised everyone was looking at him, he got jumpy. No, he didn’t want to hold the baby. No way. As he opened his mouth to say it, he couldn’t seem to get the words out.
‘C’mon, you won’t break her, you know.’
He rubbed a hand through his hair as Lizzie stood and walked over to him, holding the baby out like a precious pass-the-parcel he should take. Damn Mosquito. He looked around the room, shifted his weight, felt trapped knowing he couldn’t say no. He didn’t want to insult the kid, or her parents, by refusing. That would be rude and, with all the love and baby hormones floating around in the room, Ry might punch him if he refused. He held out his hands and Lizzie carefully transferred the tiny weight into his arms. He lay her head in the crook of his elbow, bringing his other arm around her little body and holding her close to his chest. There was silence in the room. Joe wondered if everyone could hear his heartbeat, which was now raging so loud he feared the palpitations might wake the kid.
He could feel every set of eyes watching him but he kept his own firmly locked on the little face, sleeping peacefully in his arms. That’s when he realised he’d never held a baby before. Not once. Not even when friends had had babies of their own. He’d managed to avoid this contact his whole life. And why was that? Something shifted inside him.
He’d never wanted to get that close in case it cracked open a memory that he’d buried inside him since he was three years old. And that memory had driven the fear that had ruled his life ever since. The fear that he would be no good at this. Was he his father’s son, despite working with every fibre of his being not to be?
‘How you going there?’ Lizzie was next to him, one hand on his shoulder, looking at Mary. His little sister. He could guess by the way she was looking at the baby that she was seeing one, at least one, in her future, and pretty soon.
‘She’s not crying. That’s a good sign, I suppose.’
‘I think she likes you already.’
‘Congratulations you two.’ Joe looked over at Ry and Julia. ‘You make a nice baby.’
‘You make a nice family,’ Lizzie added.
The new parents looked around the room, at all the loving faces surrounding them. They were a family. And Joe realised that Anna was right. He had a place here forever if he wanted it. He’d always had it.
‘Damn, I wish we had some champagne to wet the baby’s head,’ Dan announced. ‘But it’s a little too early in the day for that.’
Ry glanced at Julia. ‘We’re planning to have a little party at the pub to do just that. Next weekend. Can you all come?’ Ry searched each face for an answer.
‘Wild horses wouldn’t keep me away,’ Lizzie announced.
‘As long as we can crack open the cellar,’ Dan added.
‘Sure,’ Joe nodded and then turned to Anna.
‘Of course,’ she said. And he watched as she found the St Christopher’s medal hanging around her neck and twisted into a knot.
Joe had lugged his surfboard down to the beach in the crisp light of an early December Saturday morning but he wasn’t in the water. He’d dumped his board at his feet and, while his eyes were on the distant swell, he wasn’t really seeing it. He stood, still as a sentinel, his arms crossed, his bare feet planted in the soft sand. Out there in the ocean, the waves looked impressive and the white caps closer to shore confirmed they were maybe five footers. But he couldn’t seem to rustle up the energy to run into the water this morning.
When he’d woken at dawn, he’d figured a surf might clear his head. But it wouldn’t be enough today. There were a million emotions crammed between his ears that a mouthful of salty water wouldn’t clear. He needed to think, to really think. And then he needed to make some decisions and this seemed like the perfect spot to make them. There were no other voices in his head, just the wind blowing off the Southern Ocean and the view to the horizon.
Right out there, about fifty feet into the water, was the spot where he’d taught Anna to surf. Or rather, where she’d taught him a lesson about never giving up. He didn’t need to close his eyes to see her again, trying damn hard to stand up on her surfboard, her arms flapping at her sides, pulling her lips together in absolute determination to get it right. And when she’d fallen off and copped a nose full of water, she’d got right back on and tried again. Over and over again.