Operation One Night Stand (27 page)

T
he week flew by and I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders.
I didn’t have Michael texting, calling, or e-mailing every five minutes wondering where his edits were.
Yolanda was on fire, probably fueled by the fact that without Michael bringing in the revenue, we were going to have to stack up a shitload of fantastic manuscripts.
The slush pile was about to become a skyscraper.

Brian took the news of my lunch with Ryan well.
Not that I thought he would be mad.
Well, maybe just a little, but his reaction was anything but.
I let him know about the phone call and the fact that I’d changed it from dinner to lunch.
I told him that I’d let Ryan know there would be no more hide the pickle.
He didn’t need to hear any of that.
He understood why I needed to say what I had to say in person.
He got it.

Siobhan stopped by during the week to apologize for the millionth time.
She and Melody finally had the chance to meet and they hit it off.
Apparently they made plans to hang out.

Sarah and I were on polite terms but certainly not like we were.
It made me sad that I thought I would lose one of my best friends over something so trivial.
Melody swore she knew we would work it out but I knew there had to be some sort of come to Jesus before either of us would budge.
I was looking forward to that conversation about as much as I was looking forward to lunch with Ryan later that day.
The only silver lining was that I would meet up with Brian at the bar and hang out there with friends until he closed.

For the most part, everything in my life was coming together.
I felt more like myself than I ever had.
I had a job I loved, a boyfriend who actually cared more about me than what others thought about me.
A small part of me was waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But since I was more of a glass half full girl anymore, I dismissed the notion and headed out.
I figured I’d get a little shopping done before lunch.
I needed to update my work wardrobe.

I was in the store trying on blouses when I heard the nasally voice.
Betsy was in the next dressing room.
I wasn’t sure if I should hightail it out of there, hide, or face the music.
I chose the latter.
After all, what the hell did she have on me?
If she was still with Steven, then kudos to her.
If leftovers were her thing, then she was more than welcome to sample from the buffet.

I handed the saleswoman a few items I wasn’t interested in and started riffling through the racks again.
I didn’t need much but I was in a great mood and new clothes were always an added perk.
Unfortunately, I turned the corner to check out the sales rack and ran right into Steven.
The shock on his face was quickly replaced by a condescending smirk as he put his phone in his pocket.

“Well, look who’s out and about.
You’re looking well, Caroline.”

“Steven.”
I nodded and tried to step around him but he blocked my path.

“I mean it.
You look good.”

“Happiness and self-awareness do that to a person.
Excuse me.”

He stepped in front of me again.
“I miss you.”

“Isn’t your girlfriend in the dressing room?”

“She isn’t my girlfriend.
She isn’t you.”

“Last I checked I wasn’t your girlfriend.”

“Not anymore.”

“Thank God for that.
Seriously, Steven.
Leave me alone.
I don’t have anything to say to you.”

He gripped my arm.
“We never had closure.
I think we should talk about what happened.”

I pulled away from him.
“There is nothing to talk about.
I’ve said all I needed to say.”

“What happened to you?
You always used to be so accommodating.
Look, I was stupid—” He raked his hands through his hair.
I used to think that was sexy.
Used to.

“Too bad you can’t fix stupid.”
I hung up the clothes I was carrying on a random rack.

“That isn’t fair.
You’re going to throw away five good years because of a
mistake
?
Because that’s what Betsy was, a mistake.”

I pointed to the purse he was holding.
“Looks like your mistake is still hanging around.
Look, Steven.
I’m not mad.
I’m really not.
I’m happy that your mistake gave me the opportunity to move on, find myself.
I’ve never felt better.”

“Well, I’m miserable.”

“And I’m not.
Look, you didn’t fight for me when I was around so don’t cry now that I’m gone.”

“Caroline.
We were engaged.
Engaged!
Doesn’t that mean anything to you?”

I looked at him a moment.
“It does, actually.
But not in the way it once did.”

I turned and headed for the door.

“Care, we were in love.
You can’t walk away from love.”

I looked over my shoulder as I opened the door to the shop.
“Steven, love is a blind whore filled with bat-shit crazy and a shitty sense of humor.”

I headed toward the restaurant, window-shopping along the way.
I still needed clothes but I had to get the hell out of the store before I lost my mind.
Not that I wanted Steven back or anything, but I just couldn’t continue the conversation.
Hopefully he’d gotten the hint.
Sometimes people are like clouds.
It’s a brighter day when they disappear.

My phone rang.
As soon as I checked out the display, an insta-smile the size of North Dakota spread across my face.

“Well, hello.”

“What are you wearing?”
Brian teased.

“Oh nothing.
Just the smile you left me with.”

“Good.
Keep that outfit on later when I see you.
What time are you meeting Ryan?”

“Thirty minutes or so.”

“Just so you know, he moved out.”

“What the hell happened between you two?
I would never want to get in the middle of your friendship.”

“You didn’t.”

“Then why do I feel responsible?”

“Because you worry too much.
Because you’re amazing.
Don’t worry about it.
He and I will patch things up.
This isn’t the first time we’ve acted like bitchy schoolgirls and I’m sure it won’t be the last.
But it is for the better that he moved out.
Now we can have sex anywhere we want.”

I totally pictured his smirk and it made me giggle.

“After this past week, I wasn’t sure there were any more places in the apartment to christen.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised.
Look, I’ve got to get a delivery.
You have fun and call me if you need anything.”

“I will.
See you soon.”

“Can’t wait.”

We clicked off and I noticed a spring in my step that wasn’t there before.
Brian encouraged me to feel amazing.
Who was I to deny the feeling?

A bit later I opened the door to the restaurant and, despite being ten minutes early, I saw Ryan sitting in the corner booth.
He stood as soon as he saw me.
I approached the table and he leaned in to kiss me.
He frowned when I maneuvered in time for his lips to plant on my cheek.

“How’ve you been?”

“Great.
You?
How was Los Angeles?
You look nice and tanned.”

“It was good.
Taking a new direction.
Apparently I’m getting too old to model in my underwear.
David Beckham can do it but I’m too old!
My agent set me up with a few calls and I got a walk on role on a detective drama.
She thinks it’s the direction I should go.”

“Well, that’s great.
I’m sure many women will be disappointed not to see you in your boxer briefs, though.”
I picked up the menu and realized I was starving.
Served me right for not eating breakfast that morning.

“Ha!”

His laugh was light and reminded me why I had been into him in the first place.
It was just unfortunate he wasn’t what I was looking for.

“How’s work for you?
I mean, the new job going okay?”

I recounted last weekend’s debacle, stealthily leaving out the details about Brian and me.
I was sure he knew what was going on by the slow-to-heal shiner Brian was sporting but I didn’t think it was necessary to rub it in his face.

“Sounds like a trip!
At least you kept your job, right?”

“Absolutely.
What are you having?
I’m starving!”

After we figured out what we were having and ordered, Ryan leaned back and put his hands behind his head.
He looked at me as if he were thinking of what to say.

“What’s up?”
I asked, knowing he had something to say.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?
Brian’s black eye doesn’t say ‘nothing’ to me.”

It was out there.
I’d broached the topic and I hadn’t thrown up.
Score one for me and my stomach of steel!

“Ahh.
I was wondering when that would come up.
He and I had a, uh, disagreement.”

“About?”

“You.”

I knew it!
“Me?”

“Yeah.
Apparently he was having some sort of feelings for you and asked me what my intentions were.”

“Intentions, huh?
And what did you say?”

“I told him that I thought you and I could be good friends.
He said he wanted more.
Words were exchanged.
I punched him.
End of story.”

“That doesn’t sound like the whole story to me.
There’s something in there you aren’t telling me.”

The waitress brought over a basket of bread and though carbs were my nemesis, I tore off a piece, slathered it with butter, and popped it in my mouth.
Ryan watched my every move.
It was a bit unsettling.

“Well, there was someone else there.”

“Who?”

“I forget her name.
Michelle or Maria.
It isn’t important.”

“Wait.
What?”

“Look, you and I, I figured, were having fun.
I was having fun with another girl, too.
Brian wasn’t happy.
Said I wasn’t treating you right.”

It was my turn to lean back and contemplate him.

“So I wasn’t the only person you were fucking?”

“Well, no.
But it wasn’t like that.
Why, was I the only person
you
were fucking?”

The waitress refilled my iced tea.
I ignored the question and whispered, “Then what was it like?”

“I know what was happening the first night we hooked up.
It was a one night stand, a fling.
Then I saw you the next day.
It was weird.
How was I supposed to know I’d run into you again?”

“So, you what?
Felt
sorry
for me?”
Oh hell-fucking-no.
“You called
me
and asked
me
out again.
You didn’t have to do that.
You could have left it at awkward.
No harm, no foul.”

“No.
I know.
It’s just when I saw you, I thought maybe it could be a regular thing, you know?”
He was fiddling with his fork but kept eye contact throughout the conversation.
This guy was unbelievable.
“I just don’t really know how to do regular.”

I needed to take a breath.
Why was I getting so worked up?
I knew it was a one night thing.
I knew it wasn’t going anywhere.
I knew we were just “friends.”
I knew all of it.
So why was I insulted?

Because, as much as I hated to admit it, I was a girl who couldn’t separate feelings from sex.
It sucked, but there it was.
I hadn’t thought that I felt something, even if it was a fake something that stemmed from bruised lady bits, but I guess I couldn’t disconnect the two things.
It wasn’t his fault.