Only You (The Mephisto Covenant Series) (39 page)

“Suppose I left the decision to you? Where would you take me?”

“To Phoenix, of course. I need Mephisto to fight Eryx.”

I didn’t think that was the only reason, but I appreciated his honesty.
I nodded and the next moment, I heard Phoenix’s voice. He was reading.

“. . .
do not have patience for your base, loathsome advances. I really must insist you leave, my lord, before I set the gardener on you.”
He cleared his throat. “That’s harsh. The gardener is a giant. He’ll mash the poor man like a bug. Honestly, Lady Mavis should blow off Lord Whatshisname and go for the gardener. Being a really big guy, he’d have a spectacular . . . well, he’d be well endowed, wouldn’t he? There’s something about him, anyway. How many gardeners would know so much about the law? He’s undercover, mark my words. He’s gunning for Lord Whatshisname, who’s clearly about to swindle Lady Mavis. The guy has an unpronounceable name. Never trust a guy whose name you can’t pronounce. Moving on.”

I heard pages turned.

“Okay, skipping all the boring stuff. There’s a ball, and Sir Gouty Guy steps on her toe . . . blah, blah, and there’s a tiresome garden party . . . oh, ho! The gardener is lurking in the bushes. I knew it! He’s eyeing Lord Whatshisname. Lady Mavis says,
‘Max, what are you doing here? This is most unseemly.’
”

He read that in a falsetto, and I’d never had such a hard time remaining expressionless.

“Max is a big ox and a bit slow, but is he really? Now he’s carrying Lady Mavis off to the old abbey ruins on Lord Whatshisname’s estate. He’s kissing her. She’s kissing him back. Aw, that’s nice.” It was quiet for a while, then he said softly, “I wish you’d wake up and kiss me, Mariah. God, I miss you so much. I’d give anything just to see you smile, just to have you look at me and know me.” The bed moved. “And love me.”

I felt his hands on me, stroking my hair, touching my shoulder, smoothing the covers.
Then I felt his lips against mine, kissing me gently, and I kissed him back. He jerked away in surprise. “Mariah?”

I opened my eyes and looked up at his beloved face. “
I am so glad you don’t write romance novels.”

Huge tears welled in his eyes and spilled over and rolled down his cheeks. He bent low and slid his arms around me and nearly crushed me, he held me so tight.
“You came back,” he whispered against my ear. “Oh, God, you came back to me. Mariah, I love you so much it makes me crazy, makes me sad and happy and just . . . crazy.”

I had to ask, “Are you sure it’s not just guilt? You forgot about me.”

“I never forgot. You have to believe I didn’t forget.” He raised up and blinked down at me, his face an inch away. “I could never forget you. Ever, in a million years. I just get caught up, and that night, Key was so bad off, needed me like he’d never needed me before. I knew how bad it was for you, but I thought you wouldn’t want to hear what we planned, because it was Jordan, your Viorica.” Tears began anew. “I know it will get old, probably already is, but I’m always going to be a clueless wonder, Mariah. A big ox, just like Max, so you’re going to have to tell me when I’m doing it wrong. I’ll try, always, and I swear I’d never hurt you on purpose.”

“I know. I knew it then. I just had to see her, one last time.”

“And you did, and she tricked you.”

“I took her to
Hell on Earth to get her away from Eryx, but it was all a ruse, and then she left me there.” I thought of Lucifer’s gift. “I don’t remember what happened after that. The box is empty.”

“
It needs to stay that way. Will you see Jordan? She’s been very depressed, blaming herself.”

“Why?
It’s all on Eryx.”

“She knows
, but still, she’s the one who took you. You’ve been here, but not here, for over three weeks. She comes every day, sometimes three times a day, to check on you. She reads to you, and talks to you until I make her leave.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a selfish bastard and I want you to myself.” He smiled at me. “Okay, not entirely. It’s just that there are so many who wanted to be here and hang out and talk to you and cry about you, and I didn’t know how much you might be aware of. I didn’t want them making you tired, or sad.”

He kissed me again, soft and gentle.

“Do you really love me?”

“I really love you. Last night, I talked to God and he listened, and I’m certain you love me back, because I was visited by an angel who told me I was redeemed.”

“Was it your mother?”

He shook his head and said soberly, “It was Jane.”

Now it was my turn to cry. I hugged and kissed him and we had an epic cryfest.

“Let’s never tell anyone how pathetic we are,” he
said, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands.

“Deal.”

Deacon’s solemn voice came through the intercom. “Dinner is served. Allah is good.”

The
familiarity of the announcement was unimaginably comforting. “I want to get dressed and go down there and see everyone.”

“Are you sure?”

“Absolutely sure.”

“Come on, then, and let’s get you in the shower.” He offered his hand and pulled me out of bed and began undressing me. When I was naked, he pulled off his T-shirt and unzipped his jeans.

“What are you doing?”

“Giving you your shower. We do this every
day.”

“But, Phoenix, I’m awake now. I can bathe myself.”

He nodded. “I’m aware. Humor me.”

“
Are we going to—”

“No, not yet.
This is just a shower. I swore when you woke up, I’d get in there with you and run soap all over your body and not feel like a perv.”

“Did you feel like one while I wasn’t here?”

“You have no idea.” He held my hand and took me in the bathroom, where we took a shower together, and didn’t have sex because he said it was too soon, that he wanted me to be home for a while, wanted to make sure I was fully healed. I had a feeling he was talking about whatever happened to me during my time in Hell on Earth, but I didn’t ask. Lucifer said I wouldn’t remember, and I was glad.

I wore the black dress and a pair of beautiful heels to dinner. Phoenix walked me downstairs holding my hand and when we entered the dining room, everyone stood and clapped. Mathilda and Hans and Deacon and Dani and Mercy were all there, along with Mirabelle, who I recognized from her portrait in the library, and a big man I didn’t recognize who was introduced as Gunther, the newest Lumina.

Jordan – I was determined to think of her as Jordan from now on – rushed toward me and stopped just short of running into me, her eyes wide with worry. They were the color of bluebells again and I glanced at Kyros, who appeared as worried as Jordan. I hugged her and she cried and I heard Phoenix mumble, “Key should buy stock in Kleenex. We’re turning into crybabies.”

“Shut up, Phoenix
,” Jordan said from my shoulder.

“As you wish, sister. Now, stop getting snot all over Mariah’s dress and let her sit down
so she can eat. She’s been eating gruel for three weeks.”

She pulled away and said, “I love you, Mariah. I’m so sor—”

“No, none of that. It was a bad time. You weren’t yourself. Let’s look ahead and put it behind us, okay?”

“Okay.
” She swiped at the tears on her cheeks and gave me a watery smile. “We’re going to see Euri play in New York later. Do you want to go?”

Euri? I shot a look at Zee, who said, “Don’t read anything into it. She won’t
know . . . we’re just going to see Arcadia. Nothing else. You should go. They’re most excellent.”

I glanced at Phoenix, who sighed. “Just for a couple of hours, and no alcohol.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

“You’re still my patient until I decide you’re well.” He did look concerned. “Now sit down and eat. Hans made your favorite. Short ribs.”

“How do you know it’s my favorite?”

He led me to a chair and pulled it out for me. “Because I’m
the master of observation. Also, Hans told me.”

I looked around at
their faces, so glad to be back. “Did I really eat gruel for three weeks?”

Deacon said from behind my chair, “No, Anabo, you ate quite well. Phoenix was making a joke.” There was a pause, then, “Heh.”

It was the Deacon equivalent of laughter, and I caught a look from Phoenix that indicated he had no idea why the big man thought it was so funny.

Dinner was delicious, as usual, and afterward, everyone transported to New Yo
rk, to a club called Blackbriar in Hell’s Kitchen. Phoenix held my hand while we listened to Arcadia, and Zee was right – they were amazing. Euri was incredible. I noticed the lead guitarist staring at her and wondered if he was in love with her. I also noticed Zee couldn’t look away from her.

I whispered to Phoenix, “Is it weird to you how much she looks like Jane?”

“A little, but not the way you’re thinking.” He looked down into my eyes and smiled. “It’s all tied off, Mariah. Over and done. Euri is Euri, not Jane, and it will take a lot of time and probably a lot of work to get her with Zee, with us, but at no time will I think of her as Jane.”

“Maybe because you saw her as an angel?”

He sobered. “Because I’ve let it go. I love you, Mariah.”

I kissed him and didn’t care who saw.

When the band took a break between sets, I swept my gaze around the club, and stopped at a guy who casually leaned against the east wall while he stared at our group.

“Phoenix, Eryx is here.”

“I know.”

“He’s staring.”

“He turns up everywhere we go, but I don’t know why. Don’t care. He had a major setback after we retrieved Jordan.” He finished his whiskey and looked down at me. “We blew up Erinýes. He’s homeless and all of his work is gone. He’s bitter, I’m sure, and will no doubt try to take his revenge. We’ll deal. Let’s ignore him and enjoy tonight, okay?”

“Okay.” I did ignore him, and I did enjoy myself.

At exactly two hours into the evening, Phoenix said, “Time to go.”

I didn’t argue. I was tired, and we said goodnight to everyone and left, walking down the street a block before we disappeared and returned to Colorado.

When I was ready for bed, Phoenix was there, getting in with me, Olga curled up at the end. “Did you sleep with me while I was away?”

“Every night.” He drew me close and sighed into my hair. “And every night I’d wish and hope that you’d wake up in the morning and be yourself. I’m so happy, Mariah, but a little scared. I can’t help worrying something will go wrong.”

“Of course it will, Phoenix. Life is things going wrong. It won’t matter. We’ll fix it and move on.”

“I love you
more than any guy has ever loved any girl in the history of the universe.”

“
Hyperbole.”

“No way,” he mumbled sleepily. “It’s true. I win at love.”

I snuggled against him and went to sleep, strangely unconcerned about what I might dream.

Good call, because as it turned out, I dreamed that Deacon opened a comedy club.

Author
’s Note

15% of sexual assault and rape victims are under age 12.

29% are age 12-17.

44% are under age 18.

80% are under age 30.

12-34 are the highest risk years.

Girls ages 16-19 are 4 times more likely than the general population to be victims of rape, attempted rape, or sexual assault.

7% of girls in grades 5-8 and 12% of girls in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.

3% of boys grades 5-8 and 5% of boys in grades 9-12 said they had been sexually abused.

Nearly 30% of child victims were between the age of 4 and 7.

93% of juvenile sexual assault victims know their attacker.

34.2% of attackers were family members.

58.7% were acquaintances.

Only 7% of the perpetrators were strangers to the victim.

Victims of sexual assault are:

3 times more likely to suffer from depression.

6 times more likely to suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder.

13 times more likely to abuse alcohol.

26 times more likely to abuse drugs.

4 times more likely to contemplate suicide.

If you or someone you know is being victimized, go to
http://www.rainn.org/
  Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network and find help. There are many people who care what happens to you,
including me. I’m donating a portion of the profit from this book to RAINN. ~ Stephanie

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.”

    – Edmund Burke