Only You (31 page)

“That’s exactly what my problem is, Eric. He is rearranging his whole life. His ENTIRE focus is me. When I die…”

“You’re not going to die,” he growled.

"When I die,” she stated deliberately,” will he even be able to recover? He won’t have a life to go back to! He’ll have no anchor.”

Eric lunged forward aggressively, but his touch was gentle as his hand rested on Camden’s belly. “LAUREN will keep him anchored.”

Camden’s eyes watered and she gasped at the sudden pain in her heart. “Eric, I can’t break him. I can’t be the reason he dies inside,” she whispered.

“If you leave him, Camden, you WILL break him.” Eric suddenly stood and began pacing the room. “I swear the two of you are the most misguided idiots I’ve ever met.”

Camden glared at Eric as he continued to walk and talk.

“First, he doesn’t want to hurt you by asking you to wait for him, in case he doesn’t make it home from Afghanistan. Instead of being a grown up and talking to him, you run away. When you finally find each other again, you sleep with the poor bastard as some twisted form of closure, planning to abandon him to spare him the pain of seeing you with cancer. Now, you plan to leave him to spare him the trauma of watching you die – which, by the way, I refuse to let you die.” Eric threw his hands into the air in frustration.
“Don’t you see, Cami? You two keep pushing each other away to protect one another from pain, but you only hurt each other more by doing that!”

“Eric!” Camden finally yelled, her anger boiling over. “This is different. I. Am. Dying. Either help me or leave my room. I’m going to do this, whether you like it or not.”

Eric’s eyes filled with sorrow. “Camden, I love you, but if those are your terms, I’m out. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Camden could only stare in shock as her closest confidant turned and fled her room. She heard the front door slam, and she suddenly felt very alone.

Moments later, Camden’s bedroom door opened, and Shane poked his head inside the room.

“Everything okay, baby? Eric just stormed out the front door. I was worried you guys had a fight. I know they’re rare, but I thought I’d check.”

Camden shook her head, struggling to find her voice. “Everything’s fine,” she assured Shane, but her voice sounded hollow. Her heart tightened.

“Could you come in here for a minute?” she asked softly.

“Sure,” Shane murmured. He sat on the bed and looked into Camden’s eyes. When he saw her pained expression, he grew worried. “What’s up, baby?”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Camden whispered. Shane’s eyebrows lifted.

“Do what, Sunshine?” He lifted his hand to caress her cheek, but Camden jerked away from him. Shane didn’t know what was happening,
and his stomach twisted with uncertainty.

“This, Shane.” Camden motioned between the two of them. “I don’t want to be with you anymore.”

“What?! Where is this coming from?” He was beginning to panic, and Camden struggled not to take him into her arms and tell him to forget what she’d said. Her heart was breaking as she continued her lie.

“I thought I was in love with you, Shane. My crush had been so strong in high school, but the doctors telling me my chances of survival…well, that has made me really look at my life. The last two weeks, you’ve been everywhere, and I’m feeling smothered.”

“I’ll give you space, Camden. Whatever you need.”

“I need you to leave, Shane.”

His eyes grew fiery. “I’m not going anywhere, Camden. I don’t know what is happening with you, but I’m not leaving. We’ll work through it.”

Camden was struggling. Shane was fighting her more than she expected. She decided to tell him the truth…sort of. It was the closest he would get, at least.

“Shane, you tell these stories,” she exclaimed. “You paint these beautiful pictures of our life together. But the diagnosis made me look at my own mortality and what I see for my future. Whether I live or not, I don’t want to be with you.” She almost choked on the lie, but sprinkled truth back into it. Her eyes brimmed with tears as she continued. “When you paint a picture of that future, I don’t see myself in it. I see a different future for me, and you are not a part of it.”

“What about Lauren?!” His tone was pleading.

“You’ll always be a father to Lauren, Shane, but you and I…you and I will never have a happy ending.” She paused as a tear ran down Shane’s face. “You and I just aren’t meant to be,” she murmured.

Shane grasped her arms, careful not to bruise her. “Camden, what’s going on? This isn’t you talking!”

She wrenched herself from his grip and stood to cross the room. Once she had put distance between them, she spoke the only words left that could make him leave. She didn’t realize that she had found his number one fear, but the impact was just as devastating to his heart as if she had carefully crafted the emotional attack.

“It IS me talking, Shane. I know what I want, and I know what I need. And I don’t need you.”

Shane’s heart shattered into a million pieces and the single tear Camden had seen was joined by an unending trail of others. It took all her strength not to fall to her knees sobbing at the hurt she was causing him or the heartbreak she felt.

“Just leave, Shane,” she whispered.

His beautiful, broken blue gaze met hers, and she felt that she could see into his soul. “I will always love you, Camden Elisabeth Shepherd,” he whispered before stumbling from the room. She heard the front door close, and she realized the loneliness she felt when Eric left her was nothing compared to the loneliness she felt when half her heart and soul walked out the door.

***

Chapter 38

Daphne watched Shane from her dark corner booth in Cam's Bar and Grill. He'd been back in Jackson for an entire week, and she knew something big must have happened. Today was a chemotherapy day for Camden, and he'd never missed one before today. Brody and Javier had gone as the usually did, but the tiny brunette bitch had stayed to help Shane around the bar.

Daphne frowned as she remembered her encounter with the petite woman. She'd have to wait to approach Shane when the woman wasn't around him, which unfortunately meant she may have to wait for a while.

***

"Shane, the customers are complaining because you are playing that depressing shit again," Melia whined.

"I don't care," he grumbled, walking down the length of the bar and away from Melia. She took in the mostly vacant bar and frowned at Shane.

"Do you want me to send Crystal home? We aren't very busy this afternoon."

"Whatever," he muttered, not even looking in her direction.

Melia shook her head in frustration. It looked like she'd have to run the bar today. Shane was in no shape to do anything. Someone needed to kick that idiot in the head. She knew from talking to Javier that Camden had broken up with him, but Melia had seen the way Camden looked at him. She knew the woman was irrevocably in love with Shane. He needed to fight for Camden, not wallow in self-pity and ruin his bar.

Melia decided to let Crystal stay another hour or so, and she headed up the stairs to Shane's apartment to use the phone. She wanted to check on Camden. Someone in the bar needed to know what was happening with her.

When she reached the cozy apartment, Melia smiled. Shane had the bar put a restraining order on Vinnie. The entire staff was on alert to call the cops if Vinnie even stepped foot in the parking lot. Luckily, that meant he hadn't been able to harass her at work, and so far, he didn't seem to realize she was living above the bar.

Another blessing was that Vinnie had no parental rights over Aiden, which meant he couldn't use a court to get her into his presence. When she was pregnant, Vinnie hadn't wanted Aiden, and Melia had originally considered adoption. Vinnie couldn't sign away his rights fast enough. When Melia decided to keep Aiden, Vinnie didn't seem to care either way, and he'd never bonded with her son. If anything, he was super possessive of Melia, but just saw Aiden like Melia's glorified pet. It was actually pretty disgusting.

Melia settled into Shane's comfortable couch. She loved how safe she felt in the place. She had never had a home where she had felt safe, so the little place was a dream come true for her. She lifted the handset for the landline and dialed Javier's number. He answered after only two rings.

"Mel, how's it going?"

"Not too well," she replied. "Shane's running all the customers away with his music again." She chuckled. "If only all men's moods were so easily discerned. He brings mood music to a whole new level."

"I know what you mean. He's been killing me this week. Sales are plummeting."

"Yeah, the place is pretty empty today," she complained. "I was actually calling to get an update on Camden, though. Thought I'd drop it into conversation. Even though he's trying to hide it, I know he's worried about her."

Javier's voice turned serious. "They're really keeping an eye on her. I guess she's having weekly stress tests for the baby. The last round of chemo, Lauren didn't do as well, so today, they are watching more closely."

"You'll let me know if anything happens?" Melia asked.

"Sure thing," he promised. "Everything looks okay, though. They are just being a little careful. Guess the higher chemo dose has something to do with it. They've been slowing the drips and adjusting things all morning."

"Well, send Camden my best wishes," Melia requested.

"Will do, Mel. And keep an eye on him."

"I will," she promised. "I'm watching for the psycho bitch, too."

Javier chuckled. "Her name is Daphne, and what did I tell you?"

"No sudden moves. Call you if I see her
. Do not approach. Do not pass go. Do not collect two hundred dollars," she answered in monotone.

"Very funny, querida. I'm serious. She has training, and she is dangerous. Let the Army handle it. I don't want to think about anything happing to you."

"Why, Javier, I'd almost think you liked me! Where's the brute that hates me so much?"

"Very funny, Melia. You know I only tolerate you because you're a good employee."

Melia smirked. "Sure, Javi. Whatever you say."

"Keep him safe, Mel."

"And you keep me in the loop with Camden. Talk to you later." She pressed the handset into its cradle and stood, concerned. Shane really needed to know that his baby might be struggling, but could he handle the news right now? She muttered to herself and decided to take care of Crystal before dealing with him.

Melia finished cashing out Crystal's tips and she headed to the bar to talk to Shane. Depressed or not, someone needed to talk some sense into him. He was standing behind the bar, staring into space, the picture of a shattered man. Although, in Melia's opinion, he was the picture of a stupid man. You didn't let a love like his and Camden's go without fighting with all you had.

As she opened her mouth to speak, Melia noticed movement from the back corner of the bar. She hadn't even realized they had any customers still in the bar this afternoon. Her stomach turned when she realized the red hair was all too familiar. Shifting her head a little to the left, Melia was able to confirm the customer in the booth was Daphne. She hesitated to leave the woman alone with Shane, but she knew Javier would kill her if she didn't call him immediately. She hurried back up the stairs to call him from the apartment.

***

"How are things at the bar?" Brody questioned the second Javier put his cell phone back into his pocket.

"He's driving everyone away still. He and Camden are the most stubborn-ass bitches I've ever met," Javier grumbled.

"Hey, man!" Brody protested. "That's my sister!"

Javier narrowed his eyes at Brody, and Brody immediately raised his hands in surrender and grinned. "Okay, yeah. They're stubborn-ass bitches."

Javier chuckled. "If only they were sane, life would be so easy," he teased.

He and Brody finished their late lunch and began walking back to Camden's room to allow Molly and Jack the courtesy of a meal break. As they rounded the corner to Camden's hall, Javier's phone vibrated. He looked at the caller ID and grinned.

"Couldn't keep away, Mel? Miss me too much?" he answered teasingly.

"Can it, Javier. She's here."

"Could you repeat that?" he asked, heart starting to race.

"Daphne Cruz is in our bar." Melia bit her lip. "She's the only customer here, Javier. She's got to be waiting to talk to him, and he's so vulnerable right now."

"DO NOT approach her, Melia. You were lucky last time."

"I can't let him do something stupid that will risk his relationship with Camden," she protested.

"Right now, he has no relationship with Camden," Javier argued.

"That's bullshit, and we both know it," she yelled.

"Melia, please," he pleaded. Javier wasn't sure why the thought of her approaching Daphne scared him so much. He told himself he would worry just as much for any employee. "Think about Aiden."

"I'm not stupid, Javi, but I need to get back downstairs before Shane does something he'll regret."

"Melia," he called, but she had already hung up the phone. "Dammit!" he yelled.