Only Pretend (23 page)

Terror made me fast. I was shouting in a raspy, panicked cry before I got to his room. “Leonide! Leonide, wake up! Someone is here!”

He was already sitting, features wrinkled in wariness. He started to speak; downstairs, the sound of shattering glass and slamming wood muffled him. Leonide flew, ignoring me while he started throwing on clothes.

Turning in place, one set of fingers made claws over my mouth. “Oh god, it's him. It's him. Leonide, talk to me, tell me what to do!”

From beneath the bed, he slid out a pistol. “Calm down. I need to get ready.”

I'd slept in nothing but a white silk teddy. Feeling exposed at the sight of the weapon, I stood very still. “Was that always under there?”

Turning away, he slipped on his jacket, dug out his phone. He was dialing, then whispering into it with earthy Russian. I had no clue who he was calling. I just—I didn't know what to do. “Three days,” I said to the air. “I thought we had three days.”

Leonide checked his gun. “So did I.”

Voices shouted below us, crisp and lacking anything but humor. “Mr. Vetrov! You have guests, come greet us!”

Clutching the front of my outfit, I wished for something that hid me better. Leonide skirted his gaze to me, approached on hurried feet. He took the glass of water from my spasmodic hold, put it on the nightstand. I knew he was going to kiss me. It was too brief, I never wanted it to stop.
Why couldn't we have just stayed in our bubble?

He nodded at the hall. “Come along, Celeste. Let's see our guests.”

I didn't want to. I also didn't want to be alone. He had a weapon, I had nothing. It was no shock that I followed him out, hiding behind his broad back while we moved down the stairs.

The two men waited for us in the front room. The doors had been broken in, cool wind teasing my bare legs where I locked up. With Marat—and with the man I strongly suspected was Vitaly—staring at me, my strength just evaporated.

They both had guns, both were larger than the one Leonide carried. Their grins were bigger, too. “Good to see you again so soon,” Marat chuckled.

“Marat.” Leonide barely moved his chin. Black eyes slid to the fellow who stood with casual grace. “Vitaly. What do I owe this early morning call?”

Vitaly.
My gut had told me, but the knowledge left me winded. He didn't look like I'd imagined. If I hazarded a guess, he was the same age—or close—to Leonide. And while I'd learned to appreciate the intensity of Leonide's gaze, this man...
How can he look so normal?

Leveling the barrel of his gun at the man I loved, Vitaly shrugged to his ears. “I came to collect my wife.”

“I expected you in three days.”

Vitaly smiled patiently. “After your last call, I got anxious.”

“And you broke down my front door.”

“Like I said. Anxious.”

I felt Leonide's tension. It came off of him in waves. All the anger and adrenaline in the room was forcing sweat to slip down the backs of my knees.

Vitaly's grey gaze fixed on me. “There she is. Celeste, your photos don't do you justice.” I tried to duck behind Leonide, but Vitaly's voice tightened. “Don't move. Marat, keep your gun on him.”

“I am.” To make a point, he teased his finger over the trigger.

“Was this really needed?” Leonide growled, never releasing that solid oak grip. “To break into my home like this—threaten my life, that—”

“If my guess is correct,” Vitaly blurted. “Then you were never going to give Celeste up to me. Marat warned me something was going on after he visited. Between that and your frantic, random calls to me, Mr. Vetrov—well. I am only taking precautions.”

Then, he aimed the weapon at me. I imagined the bullet piercing my body, went pale at the thought.
This is it. We lost. Vitaly is taking me away.

He motioned to me. “Celeste, come here.”

My foot started to slide backwards. I had no plan—but whatever my instinct was, Leonide's fingers on my shoulder stopped me. “Don't,” he said softly. Gawking up at him, I saw how he lowered his gun. “There's no reason to shed blood.”

Marat snorted, trailing his aim. “Smart man.”

Very slowly, Leonide inched his jacket down his arms. “Take this,” he said to me. “You're going to freeze outside in just that outfit.” His eyes bounced to the other men, daring them to stop him from offering me the clothing.

It felt like a parting gift.
Was
it a parting gift? I was numb, allowing him to slip the dark material over my shoulders. He bent close, tugged the collar and bathed me in his smell. “It will keep you safe.” The words were almost invisible.

Leonide shoved me forward sharply. “Take her. You've come this far, Vitaly.”

No.
My heart contorted, fought to slip through my body. I knew how it felt. I wanted to escape my existence, too.

Vitaly closed the gap, tugged me against him. I
was
grateful for the jacket, it protected me from having to touch him more than needed. “If you hadn't been about to renege on our deal, it wouldn't have ended this way.”

Leonide had one hand in the air, fingers spread. The other had the gun pointed uselessly at the floor. There was a mask on him again, hiding him from everyone in that room.

Hiding him from even me.

This is really it.
The lump in my throat was painful, not big enough to strangle me. I wanted it to grow.
Leonide isn't keeping me. He's giving me up. He's not fighting.

Hadn't he told me he would
kill
this man?

Had it all been a lie?

Fingers touched my cheek. I cringed away from Vitaly, anger dissolving my weakness induced fear.
Leonide wouldn't just hand me over. Don't be stupid. The guns!
I raked my eyes over the scene, saw it for what it was in high-contrast detail.
If he tries to do anything, they'll just shoot him!

Vitaly was talking. I wasn't listening. He had his free palm under the jacket, brushing my hip. Shivering, I tried to shrink myself. Burying my hands in the deep pockets, I imagined fading away until I was able to fit inside and—

Something hard bumped my knuckles. Smoothing my face, I ran my thumb over the sharp curve of the knife. I
knew
that blade. Leonide had sliced many things from my body with it. He'd placed it to my skin, asked me if I was afraid of him.

I'm afraid of losing him.
Gripping the handle turned my blood on overdrive.
He said this would keep me safe.

Now I knew what he had meant.

“If you try to follow then—
ahhh! FUCK!
” Vitaly screeched, pained as he was surprised. My arm flexed, digging the blade into the top of his thigh as hard as I could. My focus was an intense pinprick.
I want to make a choice.
No one would take that from me.

No one.

The sound was deafening; a gun had gone off. Reaction took over, I let the knife go and dove towards the floor.
Was I shot!? Who was it, who...

Marat bellowed like a dying animal.

Turning on hands and knees, I stared at the scene before me. Leonide held his pistol, smoke wafting, powder stinging in my nose. The mask was gone.
Truly
gone.

I didn't recognize the man in front of me.

His foot kicked Marat's weapon away; it slid, left a a smear of blood across the room. Ignoring the crumpled man as he sobbed, hugged where the redness bloomed over his shoulder, Leonide trained his pistol on Vitaly.

Even with the knife in his leg, the man still stood. Breathing heavy, face bent and marred by pain, Vitaly stared Leonide down. “Are you
insane?
Do you know what you're doing?”

The click of the gun cocking echoed. “Insane or not, I'm getting what I want.” The oak grip came down, cracking on Vitaly's skull. After that, not even anger could keep him standing.

Crouching low, Leonide settled over the man's body. It was simple for him to rip the larger gun away. It joined Marat's across the room. Coiling up the front of Vitaly's shirt for leverage, Leonide pulled him from the ground. “Do you know what you're looking at?” he asked.

Vitaly narrowed his eyes, blood streaming across his forehead. “A dead man.”

Leonide fired the gun out the open door. I screamed, covered my ringing ears. But that couldn't stop me from seeing. No, nothing could shield me from watching what the man I'd fallen so deeply for was doing.

It was a lesson for me.

Like Vitaly, I was learning who Leonide was.

He forced the searing, hot barrel of the gun against the man's cheek. The acrid scent of burning skin assaulted me. Vitaly couldn't bite back his cry of distress, his own blood staining his teeth.

“Do you know what you're fucking looking at?” Leonide asked again.

Breathing heavily, Vitaly's eyes flashed with a hint of fear. “No. Tell me.”

Carnage swelled in Leonide's. Black depths, stark with murderous lust. “You're looking at a choice. Do you see what's in my eyes, Vitaly?” The metal of the weapon dug into Vitaly's flesh, indented his cheek. Every word from Leonide's mouth was calm. “I'm not ready to die. And I'm
ecstatic
to erase any threats from my life. You're a threat. So you have a choice.”

It couldn't have been long. The rhythm in my chest ruined my sense of time.

“Tell me my choice,” Vitaly whispered. In the corner, Marat groaned, looked on with a twisted scowl.

Reaching down, Leonide took hold of the knife handle. Like everyone else, I knotted up, coiled in anticipation. “Marat drags you to your car. The both of you leave. I never,
ever
have to see your god damn face again.” His forehead was a sea of grooves. “Swear you'll leave me alone—leave
her
alone—and you can walk from here, alive.”

“And the other choice is death?” It was a cold chuckle.

“If you survive me cutting your joints to ribbons?” Leonide tore the knife free. Standing over the writhing man, blood leaking and staining every surface, he waited until Vitaly was focused on him again. “Then yes. After that would come death.”

I couldn't stop shaking. At some point, I'd crawled to the furthest wall and just hugged myself. My own arms weren't comforting enough. So much violence...

And all because of me.

“Marat,” Vitaly croaked. Both men were white sheets; I didn't know if they
would
survive. In the growing light of day, the circular, shiny red ring on Vitaly's cheek stood out. The burn from the gun tip was a brand. “Come help me.”

Standing aside, Leonide didn't lower the pistol until Marat had helped Vitaly off the ground. Tangled together, both pairs of eyes roiling with hate, they turned towards the doorway. “What you're doing is foolish, Mr. Vetrov.” It was hard not to admire Vitaly's returning demeanor. “Even if I don't come for you, attacking me like you have will anger others.”

The sound of car doors came. I saw them, two other men, rifles in hand and standing in wait in the grass.
Of course Vitaly hadn't come with just Marat.
All at once, my joy melted away. We'd done so much, but again, we were outnumbered.

Leonide hung the weapon to his hip. “Not the best guards, they ignored your screams.”

In the driveway, Vitaly scoffed; it was a wet sound. “They were told to wait. They did that. Does my agreement to not harm you stretch to people not present during the contract?”

Sticking his gun into the back of his trousers, Leonide's chin rose. “Ask them that.”

The wave of noise came over the hill. Baffled, I rose up, inched close so I could see outside. At first, I thought it was the police—someone organized, coming to rescue us all from the brutality and madness.

Nestor marched at the front, shotgun in his hands.

The town.
My lips parted in silence.
Leonide must have called for help earlier. But he only talked to one person, and so briefly, then how...

I didn't grasp it, not fully. But the reality was obvious.

The people in town had come to help.

Vitaly eyed them, his expression going barren. Guns were pointed at guns, men ready to shoot each other down at a mere bidding. Vitaly looked back at us once. It was me who he paused on, seeming to engrave my essence into his brain.

“Help me inside,” he said to one of the guards. “Marat is about to collapse.”

In minutes, what had felt like the end of my life faded down the road in two shiny cars. Vitaly had left, chosen to keep his head instead of fighting for me.

Inside, I was torn up over how to handle the events. Leonide had called himself a demon, agreed to my assessment. To see him gleefully inflict pain on another human was something else.

I should be scared of him.
He walked towards me where I trembled.
I should want to run again. I should see him for what he is and not want to get closer to the fucking barbed wire inside of him until it shreds me alive.

He reached down for me...

And I took his hands and squeezed.

Leonide

I
turned the knife in my fingers, examined the pommel. The engraving was faint; my memory filled in the gaps. It had belonged to my father. After he'd passed, I'd taken to carrying it around.

It had become an old habit.

A 'what if' plan among my many plans.

That it had been what saved Celeste and I...

Fitting. It was a fitting resolution.

I still thought about that day. How the girl I longed for had looked at me, thought I was giving her up. She couldn't have known I was hoping for some slight moment, a way to catch either of the men off guard.

Even I couldn't be faster than two guns.

But then she'd done it. Celeste, that beautiful fucking woman. She'd found the knife and buried it in Vitaly with such untempered emotion. Marat had looked away from me, and it had been the opportunity I'd prayed for.

My thumb grazed the razor edge.
We're both alive because of her.
The statement was truer than that. It went beyond just our flesh and bone.