Only Mine (19 page)

Her mother was hiding out in the kitchen, which Dakota appreciated. Saying goodbye in private would be a lot easier. Of course, she still had to face her mother and explain what was going on.

“I'll see you soon,” Finn said.

She nodded and hoped he was telling the truth.

Dakota returned to the kitchen where she found her mother playing with Hannah.

“I'm glad you got some rest,” her mother told her. “I know how tired you've been.”

Dakota waited, but her mother didn't say any more. “You have to want to know about Finn.”

“I think I know enough already. He's the kind of man who looks good holding a baby. Should I worry about you?”

“No. I'm protecting my heart.” For a moment, she allowed herself to wish that she didn't have to. That, in addition to looking good holding a baby, Finn was the kind of man who stayed. But she knew the truth.

“Are you sure you're not already in love with him?”

Talk about a crazy question. “Of course I'm sure. I would never let that happen.”

 

A
URELIA STOOD
awkwardly on the sidewalk. Karen, one of the production assistants, had emailed her the time of her next date with Stephen. Aurelia had hoped everyone would just forget about her and Stephen, but that was too much to ask. Now she had to not only go on a date with him, but she had to do it in front of the camera crew and who knew how many people watching on television.

If only they'd been voted off sooner, she thought, shifting her weight from foot to foot. But that was the coward's way out.

In truth, she owed Stephen an apology. Not that they would ever be right for each other, but that didn't excuse how she'd handled the situation. She hadn't been very nice. Probably because there was a part of her that didn't
want to give him up. There was a part of her that didn't care about the age difference or the fact that he deserved someone who was where he was in life.

Somehow everything had gotten so complicated, and she didn't know how to make it simple again.

“Aurelia?”

She turned toward the voice and found Stephen standing behind her. Despite her best attempt, he'd still managed to sneak up on her. For a single heartbeat, she felt only happiness at the sight of him. So tall and strong, so handsome. She smiled and knew he could read everything she was thinking.

Then reality returned and, with it, the realization that she could never be right for him.

“I guess we have a date to get through,” she said. “If we continue to be the most boring couple, I'm sure we'll get voted off this week.”

“Is that what you want?” he asked.

“It makes the most sense.”

She found it difficult to talk. When she was that close to him, her brain didn't work right. She could only think about him holding her and how she felt when he kissed her.

Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn't he be older or her younger?

“I didn't want to hurt you,” she blurted. “I never wanted to be someone you would regret. I'm not afraid for me. I'm afraid for you.”

She clamped her hand over her mouth and wished
there was a way to call back the words. She should never have told him that, never have admitted the truth. He would think she was an idiot. Or worse, he would feel sorry for her.

Without thinking, she started walking away. She had no destination in mind, just a burning need to escape the situation. But before she could go anywhere, he was in front of her, his hands on her shoulders, his intense blue eyes staring into her face.

“I could never regret you. Us.”

How she wanted that to be true. In this moment, it probably was, but one of them had to think beyond today.

“Let's say I believe you,” she said. “So what happens next? What are you going to do?”

He grinned. That happy, easy grin that made her toes curl.

“Go back to college.”

She stared at him. “Excuse me? Go back to college? That's what your brother wanted all along. Why would you agree to it now?”

“Because I know it means you'll take me seriously.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it. “Really?”

He nodded. “I liked college. I enjoyed studying engineering. I've been taking classes in bioengineering, with an emphasis on alternative fuels. It's a growing industry. College was never the problem—it was Finn. He knows Sasha isn't interested in the family business, so he's expecting me to be the one to join him.” He shrugged. “I
like flying, but I don't want to make it my career. I've never wanted that.”

“I know that, but Finn doesn't. You have to tell him.”

His mouth twisted. “Would you tell him if you were me? Finn has a bug up his ass about the business and college. I think it has more to do with our parents dying and him having to raise us. He's done a good job, but he's gotten too used to running our lives. I knew he expected me to go into the family business. I didn't know how to tell him I didn't want that. So I did something drastic—I came with Sasha to be on the show. I never expected to find you.”

She stared at him. “I don't understand.” Her voice was a whisper.

“I thought I was looking for something. Now I get that I was looking for some
one.
You. I'll go back to school and get my degree because it will make you happy. But also because it will make me the kind of man you want. This is all about you, Aurelia. Don't you get that?”

All she heard was a faint buzzing sound. The world seemed to move around her, and it took her a second to realize she was on the verge of passing out. She couldn't catch her breath, but then Stephen was kissing her and little things like breathing didn't matter.

She kissed him back, losing herself in the feel of his mouth on hers. The moment was everything she'd ever wanted. Better than that, the man was everything she'd ever wanted.

He raised his head and stared at her. “I love you, Aurelia. I think I have from the first moment I saw you.”

“I love you, too.”

She hadn't been sure she would ever get to say those words to a man. Now, as she spoke them, she knew the rightness of each syllable.

Sure, there were complications. Things to be worked out. Explanations to be made. But that was for later. Right now there was Stephen and the fact that he loved her.

He kissed her again. She moved closer and—

“Now that's what I'm talking about,” Geoff said. “This is good television.”

Stephen straightened, looking as shocked as she felt. She stared at him, horror growing inside of her. The cameras. How could they have forgotten about the cameras? They weren't having a private conversation. They were on television.

Stephen swore softly. “I'm sorry. I forgot they were there.”

“Me, too.”

There was no point in going to Geoff. He wouldn't understand the concept of keeping a private moment private. He was interested in ratings. The boring couple had just given him a blockbuster of a teaser.

It wasn't just that Geoff and the crew had seen it all. Soon everyone would be a witness.

Stephen cupped her face. “Want to change your mind?”

“No.”

“Me, either.” He smiled. “We should probably brace ourselves for the worst. What's that line from that movie? If you jump, I'll jump.”

“It's a long way down.”

“Don't worry. I'll catch you.”

D
AKOTA AND
F
INN SAT
on her sofa, watching that week's installment of
True Love or Fool's Gold.
The teaser right before the commercial break was of Aurelia and Stephen, standing somewhere in town, looking intense.

“I didn't know they were going to be featured this week,” Dakota said. “They didn't have a date, did they?”

“Not that I know of,” Finn said, passing her the bowl of popcorn.

He'd come over for dinner. She'd made steaks and salad. They'd sat at her table and laughed and talked, taking turns holding Hannah. A good evening, she thought, telling herself not to read too much into it. Sure, she enjoyed Finn's company, but as a friend. What was that phrase? Friends with benefits?

Hannah had gone to sleep, and Dakota was hoping that after the show, she and Finn would also go to bed. Although the sleep part wasn't what interested her.

The commercial ended, and the show resumed. A long shot of Aurelia and Stephen made her think the camera was some distance away. The sound seemed enhanced, too, as if the two of them hadn't been miked.

It took Dakota a second to realize what Aurelia was saying. Something about not wanting to hurt Stephen, that she didn't want him to have regrets. The look on his face when he said he could never regret their relationship stunned Dakota.

“I didn't realize,” she began, then pressed her lips together. Oh, crap. So much for them being the quiet couple. When no one was looking, they'd gone ahead and gotten involved. If she didn't know better, she would swear they'd fallen in love.

Finn wasn't going to be happy about that.

She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye and saw him staring intently at the screen. Before she could figure out what to say, or even if she should say anything, the topic of the conversation shifted.

“I knew Finn expected me to go into the family business. I didn't know how to tell him I didn't want that.”

Finn handed her the popcorn bowl and stood. “Well, hell.”

Dakota set the bowl on the coffee table and rose. “Take a breath,” she said. “This can't be news.”

Finn glared at her. “Of course it's news. We've been talking about this for years. When Stephen finishes college he's coming into the family business. That was always the way it was going to be.”

She didn't actually believe that. From what she could tell, Stephen had never shown any interest in the family business. He was majoring in engineering in college. If he wanted to join forces with his brother, wouldn't
he have been studying business or something flying-related?

“You're not upset because he doesn't want to be in the family business,” she said gently. “It's that he didn't tell you himself. You had to find out this way.”

“Sure, that's some of it. Why the hell couldn't he come talk to me? I'm his brother. Why wouldn't he tell me the truth?”

She put her hand on his arm. “Maybe because you're not interested in the truth. You only want to hear the story you want to hear. I suspect both your brothers have been telling you things for a long time. They didn't decide to come here on a whim. They've been looking for a way out for a while. The show offered them that in an easy way.”

“You don't know as much as you think you know.” His voice was low and angry, although she had a feeling he was more angry at himself than at her.

“I know you're pushing them. I know you've been pushing them for a long time. You want to run their lives because you believe it's the only way to keep them safe.” She drew in a breath. “Finn, you've done an amazing job with your brothers. Everyone can see it. There is no arbitrary line that you cross that says it's okay to stop worrying. That it's okay to stop taking care of them. That's what you're looking for. Someone somewhere to tell you it's okay to let go.”

He shook off her hand and backed up a couple of steps. “You don't know what you're talking about.”

“Yes, I do. Let them be. You've given them everything they need to be successful. Trust yourself and trust them.”

“Even if that means not finishing college?”

“Yes.”

“Not possible.” He shoved his hands into his jeans pocket.

“So what are you going to do?” she asked. “Force Stephen into the family business? Are you going to guilt him into it? That's not you. You don't want him living a life of duty, doing things because he has to.”

“That's what I had,” Finn growled. “Nobody asked me what I wanted. Nobody gave a damn about my life. One day my parents were alive and everything was fine. The next they were dead. I was there. Did you know that? I was flying the plane when it crashed. There was a storm and my mother didn't want to fly, so we were going to wait. But she was worried about my brothers, so we took off anyway. The plane was hit by lightning and we went down. They were both injured. I had to hike out, and by the time I got back with help, they were dead.”

He'd never told her how his parents had died beyond the fact that it had been a plane crash, and she hadn't thought to ask for details. She'd assumed it had been some kind of accident but nothing this bad. Nothing he'd been a part of. No wonder he held himself together so tightly. No wonder he didn't want to get involved or have more responsibility.

Everything made sense now. His intensity with his
brothers. His concern about their future and safety. He was trying to control fate, and that wasn't possible.

She stepped in front of him and stared into his dark blue eyes. “You did what you had to do. You took care of your own. Your parents would have been very proud of you.”

He started to turn away, but she grabbed the front of his shirt and held him in place.

“You're right,” she said. “No one asked you if you wanted to take on that responsibility. You did it because they're your family and it was the right thing to do. You understood that. Just like you know, deep in your heart, that you don't want Stephen in the business if he doesn't want to be there.”

Finn stared at her for a long time, then opened his arms. She stepped into his embrace and hung on as if she would never let go.

“He should have told me,” he whispered. “He should have told me himself. I would have understood.”

She doubted Finn would have made the conversation very easy. Even so, his point was a good one. This was not how he should have found out.

She could argue that Stephen was still a boy, although that wouldn't help her case of Finn letting them grow and live their lives. Besides, she understood his pain, even if she couldn't feel it herself. He had given up so much, and now he felt betrayed.

Families were hard. They were great, but they were
hard. Or maybe it was just loving someone that made things complicated.

As she held on to him, she realized that her mother had been right. Falling in love with Finn would be easy. Too easy. She was going to have to be very, very careful.

 

D
AKOTA AND HER SISTERS
lay sprawled on several blankets in the backyard. Hannah sat between them, laughing at their various antics. The sun was warm, the sky was blue, and Buddy, one of Montana's rescue dogs, a pale cream labradoodle, monitored them anxiously.

“I can't believe you're really a mother,” Nevada said. “It happened so fast. Last month you were single and now you have a kid.”

“Tell me about it,” Dakota said, rolling on her side and facing her daughter. “Obviously I've been thinking about adopting ever since I found out how difficult it would be for me to have children. But that was a theory. This is real.” She grinned. “Of course, I'm still single.”

Hannah reached for her pink elephant. It was slightly out of reach, and she tumbled to her side as she stretched. Montana scooped her up and held her in the air. The baby laughed while Buddy whined nervously.

“It's okay,” Montana told the dog. “She's fine.”

Montana put the little girl back on the blanket. Buddy crawled toward her. When he was next to her, he angled his body to provide support and maybe protection.

“He's really good with her,” she said.

Montana nodded. “He does great with little kids. Although he's a bit of a worrier. He gets crazy when they fall. But he's so patient. He doesn't mind if little kids crawl all over him and pull his fur and tail. Some of it is the training, but most of it is his personality. He's a nanny dog.” She leaned over and rubbed Buddy's head. “Aren't you, big boy?”

The dog kept his attention on the baby. He whined a little, as if concerned they weren't paying enough attention to what was going on.

“I want a baby,” Nevada murmured. “At least I think I do, but not like this.”

“You wouldn't consider adopting?” Dakota asked, a little surprised by her sister's reaction.

“Sure I would, but not so quickly. Yes, this was a deliberate act, but you had to make the final decision quickly. Didn't that scare you?”

“It terrified me, but that's part of the process. I suppose if I'd been picked by a woman who was pregnant, I would have had more time to get used to what was going to happen.” She touched her daughter's soft, dark hair. “Except I wouldn't change any of this.”

“You're braver than me,” Montana admitted. “The dogs are about all I can handle. Besides, I don't think I'd be a very good mother.”

“Why not?” Dakota thought her sister would be great. “You're caring and nurturing. You give everything you have. Look at how you are with the dogs.”

“That's different.”

“I don't think it is,” Nevada said. “You're not as flaky as you think.”

Hannah dropped her elephant again, then reached to pick it up. Buddy nudged it toward her, as if wanting to make sure she was careful.

“How is Finn taking all this?” Montana asked in a not-so-subtle attempt to change the subject. “He flew you to Los Angeles to pick her up. That was nice.”

He'd done plenty of other nice things, she thought. And they weren't all about transportation.

“He's a good guy. The baby thing doesn't freak him out. His brothers are a lot younger and that helps. He remembers the baby stage.”

He was also careful not to get too involved, she reminded herself. That kept stress at a minimum for him.

As she watched her daughter laugh, she wondered what it would be like if Finn weren't the kind of man who planned to walk away. Having him want to settle down would be pretty amazing. Especially if he wanted to do that settling with her.

“Dakota?”

She looked up and saw her sisters staring at her.

“You okay?” Nevada asked.

“Fine. Just daydreaming.”

“About a certain handsome pilot?” Montana asked with a grin. “He looks like he's a great kisser.”

“He is, but we're just friends. Anything else would be foolish.”

“On his part or yours?”

“You know why he's here,” Dakota reminded them. “When he figures out his brothers are doing fine on their own, he'll leave. After all, he has everything he needs in Alaska.”

“You're not there,” Montana said loyally. “Or Hannah. Plus he has to like the town. Who wouldn't want to live in Fool's Gold?”

“I'm sure there are hundreds of people,” Nevada murmured.

Dakota decided she was tired of talking about herself. “Anyone know if Mom's been on a date?”

“No,” Nevada said. “There are a couple of guys I know—contractors who are really nice. They're about her age. I suppose if I were a better daughter, I would offer to set her up. Only I can't seem to do it.”

“Do you think it's a bad thing?” Montana asked, frowning slightly.

“No. I want her to be happy and it's been over ten years since Dad died, so I'm not thinking it's too soon.”

“Then what?” Dakota prompted.

Nevada grinned. “I think I'm afraid she'll find someone in thirty seconds. That would be so depressing. I can't remember the last time I was on a date.”

“Tell me about it,” Montana said with a sigh.

“What about those contractors?” Dakota asked. “Any of them young enough to be interesting?”

“I work with them. It's not good to date someone you work with.”

“Why not?” Montana asked. “If you work with them, then you get the chance to see them in all kinds of circumstances. You'll know a lot about their character. Isn't that a good thing?”

Nevada shrugged and turned to Dakota. “I suppose you're not interested in dating.”

“I have a new baby.”

“And a man.” Montana flung herself on Buddy. “Admit it. The sex is pretty fabulous.”

Dakota didn't hide her grin. “It's even better than you could imagine.”

 

F
INN DID HIS BEST
to avoid his brother. There was nothing Stephen could say that he wanted to hear. But two days after the broadcast, his brother cornered him out at the airport. He looked up from loading boxes into the plane and found Stephen standing there.

“I'm busy,” Finn said brusquely.

“You have to talk to me sometime.”

“I haven't seen you in a week. Don't make it sound like you've been dogging my heels for days.”

“You know what I mean,” his brother said, glaring at him. “You're pissed.”

Finn put the box in place, then straightened. “Because you went on national television and told the world I was a jerk? Why would I be pissed?”

“I didn't say that. I said…” Stephen shook his head. “Forget it,” he said, turning away. “It doesn't matter.
You're not going to listen. I don't know why I bother trying.”

Stephen started to walk away. Finn's instinct was to let him go. The kid was acting like a spoiled brat. He'd made one attempt to get his point across, and when that didn't work, he gave up. So much for Dakota's theory that his brothers were ready to be on their own.