Only Love (The Atonement Series) (18 page)

Secretly, I had hoped he would have grown tired of California by then and high-tailed it back to Seattle but it seemed the temperate weather and hot women suited him. Colin had become a bad rash I couldn’t get rid of unfortunately and there was nothing I could do about it.

A lyric from Rihanna’s “Stupid in Love” suddenly appeared in my mind as I pushed the doorbell. I couldn’t do it. I refused to be another hopeless case where all I did was break up to make up with a certain person and our life was nothing but never-ending drama. It wasn’t even part of my DNA and I refused to make it a situation in my life now.

The double doors flew open and I faced Cassie. This wouldn’t normally be an issue because who she shared her love life with was none of my business. However, the co-owner of my business and a law suit I could ill-afford flashed through my thoughts and I had to wonder if Colin had lost his mind.

“Deirdre—sorry, I mean Ms. Bardot!” She crossed her arms against her breasts in a defensive stance. “What are you doing here?”

“I could ask you the same question especially since you are an employee of Ground Beans,” I replied without a trace of humor in my voice.

“Uh…I uh…had to talk to Colin about something job related and he invited me over but nothing has happened. Our relationship is strictly professional,” she answered a bit too quickly.

She was as terrible of a liar as her age naturally reflected.

A fucking college student, Colin? How original…but then again you’re a man so when are your kind ever different?

“Of course,” I said in a cold tone. “Can you please fetch Colin for me, dear?”

“Won’t you please come in?”

“No, thank you. I would rather wait out here.”

I paced back and forth as she closed the door and waited impatiently for Colin. Moments later, he appeared in a pair of ripped blue jeans and a white wife-beater. He looked like the same man I’d fallen in love with so easily not knowing the whole story. If I had known what he’d done to my family, I was sure it never would have happened but life was nothing if not full of surprises.

“Won’t you come in? We are both adults, Deirdre.”

His right hand reached out for my left arm and I stepped back. “Don’t you dare touch me when you have been fucking that little skank! Business my ass—what does she think? I wasn’t born yesterday, Colin. I know what is going on between the two of you and don’t you dare deny it.”

“I wouldn’t do that anyway because why should I be embarrassed? You’ve been sleeping with Drake and I haven’t said anything. You can have as much freedom as you need. Just know that eventually we will end up back together. Cassie is nothing but a really bad substitute until you come to your senses and realize we need one another.”

I glared into his crystal blue eyes. “That’s what I came over about. I don’t think that is going to happen any time soon.”

“What are you talking about?” he inquired in a playful manner.

The tears came and before I knew it I was balling like a baby. I found a package of Kleenex in my bag and began wipe them. “Listen, there is no you and me and there never will be again. I think if you plan to stay here then you should try to find a woman who makes you happy and not just ‘filler’ or a substitute until we get back together. The truth of the matter is I don’t see that happening now or any time in the near future.”

Colin slipped an arm around my shoulders and I didn’t shrug away from his touch this time. “Listen, I understand Drake is a lot better than someone like Cassie. He’s an adult and he can handle himself. He is intellectual and incredibly seductive and intelligent. But he can’t possibly love you when he is still in love with another. He’s never gotten over Gisele, his French lover. Why do you think he never talks about her? You may
think
you are better than that but at the end of the day, he only views you as ‘filler’ until he can get the one person he truly wants.”

I shook my head sadly and felt sorry for him because it was obvious he’d gone off the deep end and was living in Cloud Cuckoo land. “You don’t know anything about him.”

“I know he took you to Baja California to pick up drugs for the Shevchenko family.” Colin’s face changed from arrogant to crestfallen. “Oh, you had no idea? Did you think it was just a romantic trip? Unfortunately for you, he owes them big time and therefore even if he doesn’t end up with the French woman he wants, he’ll probably end up with Mikayla just to stop all the favors they keep calling him in to do.”

My heart pounded in my chest and I didn’t want to believe a word he said but I had to know how he would have known about our trip to Ensenada. “How do you know he’s doing favors for the Shevchenko family?”

“I have my ways of finding out. What makes you think I would play fair when it comes to the woman I love? I don’t want you to end up in his arms so I am willing to pay for information. Especially on the player you happen to be sleeping with—

“We have yet to consummate our relationship.” I bit my lower lip. “All this could be the truth but I’m not willing to risk a future with him over rumors that may or may not be true. I will ask him myself. If he did take me there and he was picking up a package then I am sure he has a valid reason for not telling me.”

“And what would that be, huh, Deirdre? If you were stopped by the U.S. Border Patrol or an agent working for Homeland Security, he was carrying enough cocaine and heroin to bury you both under the jail cells. What would have been your excuse? I’m afraid the ‘Babe in the Woods’ routine wouldn’t have worked very well with Drug Enforcement Agents but then again, what do I know?”

I stared at the ground before I began to back away from him. “I don’t know what’s true and what isn’t, Colin. All I know is that you can’t keep trying to sabotage every romantic relationship that doesn’t consist of you and I. We are no longer a couple and the sooner you realize that, the better off you will be in the long run.”

“You can’t mean that, Deirdre. We were supposed to get married. We were expecting a baby together—”

“A baby that belonged to Liam, not you, so don’t you dare play the sympathy card yet again.”

Colin grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me “Yes, I know but that doesn’t change anything. The child would have belonged to you and I because we were going to raise him together.”

“Yeah but from where I am standing whatever existed between you and me is never going to happen again.” I looked towards his front door. “Have a nice life with Cassie. And by the way, tell her she’s fired. It’s a conflict of interest—your romantic relationship with her—pure and simple. She can be your lover all she wants but she
cannot
work for Ground Beans and fuck you at the same time so good luck to her future employment but it won’t be with
my
company.”

“Don’t you mean our company?”

“What ever. It’s not okay and you of all people ought to know that. I don’t want to see her at work again.”

“Don’t you walk away from me!” Colin yelled in anger.

“Goodbye, and have a nice evening. Drake is waiting for me.”

I turned my back on him and walked toward my vehicle. I’d said my piece and I was ready to move on with my life.

Chapter Fourteen

Colin

Colin was definitely not okay. In fact he was seething with anger as he watched his former fiancée walk off after she’d practically forced the relationship she had with Drake down his throat.

He knew what he had told her was damaging and she would most definitely ask her lover about it but it wasn’t enough. He honestly thought it would shock her into submission but then again, after what he and Liam had put her through, could she be surprised about anything at all anymore?

Colin hated to admit it but sometimes he felt he’d made the biggest mistake of his life by telling her the truth and what was so awful about the whole situation was his brother had begged him not to do it.

Of course Liam had shared the whole issue with Caitlyn and their reactions were night and day. Yes, she’d been beyond upset and she’d thrown dishes at Liam and cried until there were no more tears but at the end of the day, she had no wish for her fiancé to serve any time in prison for a crime that was behind them. Their father was gone and she was more than ready to move on and make a life with his brother.

Deirdre had acted so understanding at first but then had a major breakdown, left the State and now wanted nothing to do with him regardless what he tried to do to make it up to her. He had to throw in the towel and admit he was fighting a losing battle. It most definitely seemed like he’d lost the one woman he loved forever.

Colin walked back inside his house and slammed the doors behind him before he walked to his Bose stereo and turned on some classic Deftones. “Digital Bath” started as he strolled to the bar and made himself a Macallan Speymalt 1980 whiskey and drank down the double shot in a swallow before pouring another.

Cassie emerged from the kitchen and walked over to the bar. She looked so beautiful in the simple pale blue wrap dress she wore but she wasn’t Deirdre. Their sex life had improved somewhat but it couldn’t be healthy he had to think of his ex-fiancée to have an orgasm with her. He didn’t need to consult his father on this issue; it wasn’t supposed to happen, period.

“Is everything okay?” she inquired with trepidation in her voice. “I heard what she said about me and I’m not exactly sure what I am supposed to make of that. I mean, the woman has fired me and I
needed
that job. I am not working because it’s something to do—I depended on the money to pay for my rent, car payment, insurance, utilities and what not. What the hell am I supposed to do now?”

Colin walked over and took a deep breath before he grabbed her gently by her upper arms and squeezed ever so slightly. “Listen, Deirdre was just upset. I will talk to her and get your old job back. She’s just being a bitch because she can and it didn’t exactly thrill her when you opened the front door to
my
house. However, I will give you some money to tide you over until all of the acrimony between her and I end in a peaceful resolution. Is five thousand okay?”

He could physically see the wheels of greed turn in her mind as Cassie’s brown eyes widened with awe and glee. She licked her lips in what she thought was a seductive manner and replied, “That should be fine. It’s more than I make in a couple of months’ worth of work!”

“As I said, I will take care of you. And to lessen the burdens on you, you’re free to move in here until we can find you a decent apartment around the area.”

She stepped back and crossed her arms against her breasts. “Are you crazy? Do you know how much the average one bedroom is in a decent part of town? I am not rich like the crowd you grew up around and there is no way I could afford to pay the rent.”

Colin did his best not to roll his eyes before he forced a tight smile to his lips. “I will take care of it. Call it a gift from your significant other.”

Cassie turned the charm on quickly and sidled up to him before she wrapped her slender arms around his neck. “You are just too sweet to me. How can I ever repay your generosity? No boyfriend I have ever had has ever been so kind or pleasant to me.”