One Split Second (29 page)
Authors: Gillian Crook
Well, this is bloody typical, AFTER I get the S as in MRSA bug… they decide that we all have to clean out our lockers (they prefer to call it wardrobe space huh!), and let them disinfect the whole area. In fact is it because of this damn MRSA/Salmonella scare? that they have known about for months, they chose to uproot the whole ward in one fail swoop! You know, if this scare is as bad as they are making out, then surely the WHOLE UNIT should be isolated, we should be moved and the whole ward fumigated?!! Grr, I’m feeling really narky.
Actually, there is a lot of noise in here tonight which is pissing me off, and Westlife are really annoying because the radio keeps playing their soppy damn single that won ‘single of the year’! Casey phoned to get addresses for ‘the family’ to send Christmas cards to she is really pretty good, I know for a fact that it’s her decision to do that, and it has nothing to do with Barry; she said she would send the ones to the family from the 3 of us, meaning, her, Mitch and Me, leaving her dad to do his own crissy cards from him, Shonah and Jamie. We started to chat, and she told that me that Mitch was not happy because Shonah had shouted at him and given him a ‘ticking’ off for something and he was in his room ‘in the huff’, and I asked Casey if she was ok with things, and she just said it’s hard being told what to do by Shonah when she’s only 5 yrs older than her. I told her that I understand that it must be strange, but that Dad had told me that Shonah never ‘tries’ to take the place of ‘me—their mum’ and if sometimes it feels like that, she should try and speak to Shonah directly cause I’m sure she’d understand. Mitch though, he’s different, he has little (big) tantrums, so I said I would speak to their dad and he could spk to Mitch. I know she understood, but it pains me to hear her sad, because it must be so so hard for them. I hate myself when I know I should be there with them. I said ‘love you and Mitch loads and loads and make sure you tell him’, and had to go because the nurse came in to do my dressing. I asked the nurse how the dressing was doing, and she said that it was looking clean and ‘red’, which is a good sign, and then she showed me the VAC Canister, that all the exudate goes into… it is just like a ‘clutch-type’ bag size and it has crystals in it, that turn from white to an off-white, and when there is no white left, the canister needs emptied… so she showed it to me, and it is pretty rank! If that was what the exudate looks like, it is very nasty like horrible black and red and flesh-coloured jelly; the vac must be doing the job… I hope so, because I have to lug it around everywhere with me, like a very heavy shoulder bag! I think I have got quite used to it now, because I actually forget during the course of the day that I am wearing it.
About 12.15ish Marie and Mum walked in. What a wonderful surprise, I didn’t know that it was Marie that was taking mum, I thought it was Tony. It was annoying though, because I had asked mum to get me a few things at the supermarket, and they had obviously stopped, but not got the right ‘drink’ that I wanted. It may not seem important to them, but all I drink is the hospital tea, and force the water down because I am always being told to drink more and more, especially by one of the night staff, Ali (he’s hilarious); anyway, I like the KICK drink, that is like the poor man’s Red Bull, but it’s nice and it’s an energy drink as well. Well not only had they forgot the juice, Marie had got me some nighties as well, I might be in hospital, but it doesn’t mean that I have turned into my great-great-granny—even though it feels, like I have been here centuries sometimes, but I haven’t really, obviously. Surely, it can’t be hard to find something that makes me ‘feel’ young and cheerful! I didn’t mean to complain, but I was so disappointed when virtually nothing I had asked for had been bought. Because I’m paranoid about my weight and I feel like I’m getting fatter and fatter, I asked them to get me loads of fruit and some low-calorie meals to put in the patient fridge! What a waste of time that was, because there were 4 golden delicious and 4 tangerines… my mum isn’t a cheapskate, so I didn’t know why she had done it, which makes me even more mad. Why had no-one had really listened to me when I was asked if I needed anything and I told them. It’s such a pain, and it may not seem a lot, but when I’m confined to this bloody bed, I look forward to my visitors, especially mum—but Marie should have known better, AND I told her that! Oh dear! She was obviously offended… she took hold of the nightie and stormed out of the ward saying she would go and get better ones for madam! Oh God, I felt really bad… I wanted a reaction, but I really didn’t mean for her to do that. I was shocked at myself, I acted like a proper spoilt little bitch; I knew I was doing it and I couldn’t stop myself or just snap out of it; I spoke to mum about it and she explained that `no doubt I was totally fed up of being stuck in the bed` and that, I may find it probably had a lot to do with feeling sorry for myself, which was understandable! I think she was right, because I didn’t recognise that particular ‘outburst’ as something that is prevalent in my nature or psyche! I must say, when I thought about it, I didn’t like it, and if I had been Marie I would have told ME to F* * * OFF! (can’t swear in front of mum) and, now I’m gonna have to eat some humble pie—and say sorry. Then again… MMh? Maybe I shall wait to see what she brings back because she might have worse things! Thank God, the big supermarket is only just down the road from the hospital, apparently only about 10 minutes, AND we have our own non-fee parking at the Spinal Unit, that’s right at the entrance, so at least she hasn’t got to go down any lift and walk miles to the car… it is, literally, 2 minutes from the ward! There, I think that little explanation has made me feel a little less horrid and eased my conscience!
So, meantime, one of the lovely auxiliaries, Margaret, went and brought us all some teas, and whilst mum was talking to Margaret I tried to find my phone, because I realised that I had forgotten to ask Marie, in all the palaver, to get me the most important things, which was WRITING PAPER AND PENS!! Bless her… I sent a txt and hoped for the best. Oh by the way, according to most of the staff, the equipment in here is not affected by mobile phones, (I was told that off the record BUT I did tell the nurse that most of the young student doctors use theirs when in the posse anyway!) I still prefer though to make phone calls and send txt, normally from under the covers… just in case… I don’t really want to be responsible for anyone of the guys’ deaths in here! Well, that means if they ain’t dead already… It’s hard to tell in my ward!!
Well, Margaret that is on today, I call Holy Margaret, because she is a ‘saint’, and is always telling me she thinks of me in her prayers. She is just one of those lovely kind women, who is a good dedicated worker and she enjoys it, and because she isn’t quite at retiring age she enjoys a job, that she finds fulfilling, and she has got more energy than some 20 yr olds. She always makes a fuss of my family when they come in and she enjoys the banter. Well, changing the subject… just about three quarters of an hour later, Marie appeared back, thankfully with a smile on her face, or was it a grimace, whatever, she was back anyway. She had brought back a set of cowboy-type shirts, and a set of long t-shirt nighties… well, it was certainly an improvement on the first attempt, and then she pulled out 3 bottles of the KICK drink; she hadn’t got the ‘diet’, but I thought it best to say nothing?? She had also bought me a couple of jotters for my writing and a couple of bic pens… . AND then, she remembered, millionaire shortbread was my favourite, and they had been selling it in a whole tray, so she bought it ALL, and told me I could share it with the other patients in my ward… yeah, ok, that WOULD be a miracle; 3 of the 5 of us in the ward, couldn’t even open their mouths, let alone chew and swallow! Duncan would certainly more than make up for the other three. Actually, Duncan was talking to mum for a long time today on this visit, and I have noticed that he is getting to know the family better, and he likes Tony, and Tony asks ‘after’ him, when he’s on the phone as well. We ended having a lovely visit, and I was grateful to Marie for having the patience to deal with my rant, and for even going, back to the supermarket!! Then, Casey’s timing was perfect, she phoned on the main phone and was able to speak to mum and Marie. So, I spoke to Casey as well, and said goodnight, and thanked her for doing the crissy cards and said for her to call me tomorrow morning if she wanted to. It was sad to see mum and Marie go. I love them so much, and I am really close to Marie, and sometimes I think I take advantage of her good nature, like I did today!
So, after they left, I was actually very very sore and my spasms were bad, the spasms have been getting a lot worse lately, and the docs think it could just be because of the lack of exercise? Well, the sooner I get into this sodden chair the better. Oh god, what’s on the box tonight? I think it’s something stupid like Pop Idol, so lets see what ‘wannabes’ they will be taking the piss out of tonight!! OK, time to take pen from paper because even my hand is getting sore, so gorra gorra go cilla… au revoir, and bon nuit mon amies xxxxxxx n.b. one of the patients in here tonight, Graham, actually croaked and croaked, for a while and then started to put words together, so it looks like he is starting to pull through… let’s hope he has a good night and gets his voice back soon. bless!
This place is bloody mad because it’s a Sunday, and there is no gym so we are normally allowed a lie-in, and sometimes get a bacon or sausage sandwich… I didn’t realise that till about 1 week ago that you could even get a bacon buttie at the weekend, since I’m normally having a lie-in, and let’s face it, it’s not as if there are many other patients in my ward that could recommend breakfast. Funnily enough, they don’t DO breakfast. Forgetting the breakfast, they annoyingly decided that they would try and get as much disinfecting done as possible, so by ten o’clock, I was washed and on the prone trolley, and me and Duncan were moved into the dayroom. They were starting to take the curtains and blinds down before we were leaving, and it was so apparent that there were some nurses who obviously had no interest in helping, with the exception of a few, but it makes my blood boil when the so-called student nurses think that cleaning is considered a domestic duty and beneath them and therefore out of their remit. I cannot stand these jumped-up-wannabes. So, me and Dunc, vacated to the day room, where one of the lovely dinner ladies got us some coffee and biscuits. Duncan had been hoisted into his chair, so at least the dayroom wasn’t full of beds, and the four patients in our ward were taken to another empty ward. But Duncan was telling me that Graham, the one who was croaking something last night, was talking that morning… yee ha… someone else for Duncan to ‘bump-his-gums-off’ at! What’s betting Graham is a male-chauvinistic, self-opinionated, arrogant man, like Duncan… actually, that’s not fair to Duncan… because he is also SO lovable, and I DO love him!
Well, first of all I saw my sister Roselyn appear into the dayroom, and then Donie, and then 2 of her sons, Ranald and Harris… how great, she had mentioned that she might be through at some stage, but I had forgotten it was today. Cue, more coffees please… Donie had to meet someone in Glasgow, so he went off (he told me when he got back that he had to make an excuse to go out and buy Roselyn’s chrissie pressie), so Roselyn and myself and Duncan were having a good old chin-wag, when Duncan’s family appeared as well, it was such a nice feeling, it was as if we were waiting specially in there for the respective visiting families. What a lovely time it was. Roselyn has as lovely personality, she is so amiable, she gets on with everyone and has a lovely nature, and before you knew it we had all merged into one large happy family, (feels like the bloody Waltons), Ruby had come through with Nick and Katy… it was nice to see Nick, because since the accident he has found it difficult to come and visit his dad, because he feels partly responsible for the accident, as it was him who asked his dad to drive him to work because he was hung over! What a shame.
THEN, it was as if all my Christmases had come at once, because my best mate Karen and her hubby Donald, who had been at a wedding in Glasgow on the Saturday, stopped into see me on their way back to Inverness, to drop off the Christmas presents for my family, and to see me, of course (Barry’s included in those pressies cause Barry and Karen always got on and still do), so it was absolutely the icing on the cake to see them. So, our families were virtually taking over the dayroom, but it was great fun and even though I was on the prone trolley, I was still able to pull myself up into a press up position, and putting cushions on my elbows. What an afternoon we all had, it was amazing, especially to have a nice chrismassy feel which I hadn’t expected that I would witness, stuck in hospital.
Well, it was about 4 when they told us that the ward was fully disinfected and we would be able to go back in… Duncan’s wife was worried that any of the industrial cleaning material that had been used may be quite strong and get into Duncan’s chest, but she was reassured by the staff nurse that there were no dangers of exposure to any of the chemicals. Donie arrived back from his ‘shopping trip’ and gave me the thumbs up for Roselyn’s pressie, just as Karen and Donald said were about to leave to get home as quickly as possible, because both of them were rather hungover from the wedding reception the night before. It was really sad to say cheerio to them all. Ruby stayed for a while to wait and see Duncan settled in the ward. Roselyn and Donie were staying at their timeshare at Cameron House, so they said they would try and get in during the week. I knew I would see Karen after the New Year. She is the best, best friend and no matter wherever either of us is, the other always knows. I love my mate to bits and she’s godmother to Mitch as well. So, after all that it was a bit of an anti-climax. I had been on the prone trolley for about over 3 hours, and all the activity had actually taken my mind off all the pain, but what I didn’t feel in the afternoon, my body made up for in the evening. Actually, the one thing I felt though was very very tired. The whole afternoon had left me quite weak and sore, and I was actually looking forward to getting into my bed, and I think that was a first! My mum and Casey phoned at night, so I gave them all the news of the day, and they were happy to know that the day was enjoyable (for a change)! What a damp squid I am!!
