One Split Second (13 page)

Well, after I had a few glasses of wine and he had a few beers, and shadow had his water and went into his special cubby hole to sleep, we carried on chatting, and he had on a Fleetwood Mac, album that I loved, and everything just seemed so right; then we started kissing, and one thing lead to another and we ended up in his bedroom. After we had ‘slept together’ we both fell into a very sound, and for me anyway, contented sleep, and it was a long time since I had slept with a guy who had put his arm round me protectively, instead of when Pete used to, so that I couldn’t sneak out of the bed. We both slept in till about 10 then he got up first and I stayed in bed and fell back to sleep. When I eventually got up, about 2 hrs later, he already had showered, new clothes on, had taken the dog for a walk, had a pair of shorts with a belt and a white t-shirt on the chair in the shower room there for me to change into… and, he also had put breakfast on, and the patio doors were open and the sunlight beaming in, and even with a bit of a hangover I still was able to appreciate the beautiful day. Oh, it was so peaceful! I put his dressing gown on first and he got me a cup of coffee and said to just sit for a while on the patio… His flat was small (and Messy) well in the bedroom, but like I described before, it was compact and everything in its place… the patio looked onto other flats, but there was enough distance between them for each individual patio to remain secluded, and it was in a lovely part of Plymund, and the other flats around him all had their patios looking beautiful. We talked over breakfast; he had made, croissants, orange juice and cereal (and he did offer me a beer—well it was actually lunchtime, but I declined the offer and said I may have one once I had a shower and got ready, then I could sit out on the patio and enjoy it), yes, the breakfast was delicious, and there were good vibes, especially since he hadn’t actually asked me to leave and I didn’t say anything about going… . We talked about the night before, and when it got to the part about us sleeping together, we both agreed it wasn’t a drunken fumble, and I knew for certain it wasn’t—he was just so kind I was starting to wonder if it could really be true that I might have met a decent guy? He felt a bit special, if that makes sense after just one night? So after my shower and getting dressed and doing my make up, he had been cleaning the kitchen after breakfast and I sat out on the patio to dry my hair, and he came out with a glass of wine, it was all just so civilized and ‘right’; we talked about everything and anything and we had a laugh, then he was telling me a bit about himself, and in a nutshell, he was single, had been married, had two children, ran his own taxi firm and he was a decent, hard working, classy guy (his words, not mine) and he had a good old `tongue in cheek sense of humour`, he was also the same age as me, well, he was 42, and we both agreed that we had enjoyed ourselves (a lot) the night before. Then surprisingly he asked me if I wanted to go for walk with shadow—he had offered to give me a lift home if I wanted, but I opted for going for a walk. We walked along the road first, then crossed the road to the field where he let shadow off his lead, we talked and talked and we got on really well, so whilst we were walking we stopped at a few pubs on our travels and sat out, the day was gorgeous. We sat down by the harbour, with yachts moored along side, and we got shadow some water. Alec had a pint, and I had a wine, and we just sat saying nothing for a while, taking in the sunshine and admiring the view and I was contemplating what to do next? I knew I had to get home at some point in the afternoon, so that’s what I decided to do. We walked further along the hoe and came out at the lighthouse, and I recognised my bearings, so I said I could walk from there to get home, not because I wanted to really as I was quite content, but I just felt I didn’t want to overstay my welcome into his little world. Then GREAT! he asked me if I would like to go out that night, so (of course) I said yes… we talked about where to meet and then decided on a nice wine bar/cafeteria called the Voodoo Lounge in the middle of Plymund town centre, so we agreed to meet there at 8 pm. We gave each other a proper, long, wonderful kiss and I got butterflies, I’m sure you know what I mean? So, I toddled away after I said `bye` to shadow, and thanked Alec for a lovely time (I wanted to say wonderful and special, but I didn’t want to frighten the poor guy away, by seeming overly keen! what a joke, I was smitten. I walked home with a spring in my step, and I actually couldn’t believe I had met such a nice guy—we had got on really well, and it was a case of love me love my dog (I didn’t love… but I definitely liked a lot!), and there was plenty of time to tell him about things! So, when I got home, I went for a shower, washed the clothes he had given me and sat out in the sun, and Joan, my best mate, came over to see me and I told her all about it. She was excited for me, which made me even more excited! We were like a couple of silly girls. So after Joan left, I had to go for a quick lie down before I got ready to meet him. Then I started to get ready and I didn’t have a clue what to wear, I pondered over what I thought he would and wouldn’t like… in the end I opted for a dark green leatherette pair of trousers with a cropped top and a pair of sandals… even though I say it myself I looked really good. Heart beating I ordered a taxi and got there for about five past eight. When I got in, I couldn’t see him straight away, and then he came from around the corner looking for me. He looked smart and handsome, and felt very lucky. He took me towards a beautiful comfy sofa, where he had ordered a bottle of bubbly for us. He then told me he had really bought it for me, because he would rather have a pint… I didn’t argue with that, and, he made a toast to us`, my God it was a long time since I had toasted to an `us`! but it felt right. I think that we both had the same idea that we could enjoy each others company, a lot! Even though it was early days, it was special, because it all just felt right! After a few drinks, (and I shouldn’t really have been drinking, but this time, I wasn’t drinking to get drunk and shut things out… oh, no, I was having a drink to enjoy and try to take everything in). We went onto the club upstairs from the Voodoo Lounge. He wasn’t a dancer, but he didn’t mind me strutting my stuff on the dance floor… we even met a few people that were friends of his, and he introduced me as his `girlfriend`, I was so chuffed. We stayed till about 1 at the club and then walked back to his and again, it was a great night. When we got back to his, I was looking forward to seeing shadow, and I was quite drunk, but happy drunk and enjoying myself and made a big, over-exaggerated fuss of the dog, but he was so so cute and yes, I was very tipsy! He poured us a `nightcap` which I thought was quaintly old fashioned.

We talked about age; he was 42 and I was 39, and we both had one boy and one girl. Children that we loved dearly, and ex’s that we still got on with. We had so much in common and the most important being that we both loved our kids, and each others company. After sitting out for a while, we decided to head of to bed when he was threatening to sing a Pavarotti song from the patio. Needless to say, we did make love… and then again, fell into a lovely contented sleep. I don’t mean this to sound too corny, like something out of Mills & Boon, but it was special. In the morning, yet again he was up before me, and when I did waken, I had cereal and toast on a plate and a cup of coffee sitting out on the patio for me… It was another glorious day… we sat chatting for a long time and when it was lunchtime, I had a glass of wine, then I had to go home cause I had promised Joan I would help her out for 2 hours at one of the church stalls in the market in the centre of Plymund, so I said my ‘goodbyes’, gave shadow a big make believe kiss and a hug, and Alec gave me a lift home. So far we were both excited about our new relationship. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was. Alec dropped me off at the bakers in Mutley, where I lived, because Joan wanted me to get some milk and a bacon buttie for her… so, before I got out of the car he said to me that because it had been quite a boozy weekend (and a lot of other things), but not a lot of eating, he `told` me he was going to take me out for a `posh` slap up meal, and we arranged to meet at the Voodoo Lounge at 7.30 that night for aperatives, and then onto a restaurant of his choice!!! Oh, I was so excited, and happy, and I think falling for him… Great British Cabby, handsomish, kind, gentle, generous, intelligent and funny,
and
he had a dog thrown in as a bonus, like a gorgeous cuddly toy! Well, I was pretty damn chuffed with myself, and tonight, he was also being the chauffeur. He was driving back to mine that night so he could see where I lived; he wasn’t drinking alcohol as he was working on the Tuesday, and he didn’t drink the night before work… which even went to show that he had gumption and a sense of responsibility and common sense—and I needed that in a guy, he didn’t need to be muscley or a body builder or have a six pack—he’s a taxi driver, sitting all day, so when does he have time to get to the gym? Plus, he gets exercise by walking shadow, and shadow needs lots of walks!! So before I left to go the bakery, we had a long, lingering kiss and it was perfect. I couldn’t wait to see him that night for my surprise posh meal out! So I got the milk and butty for Joan and then we made our way off to help the church women at their stall, this was all happening because it was the last bank holiday of the year, MONDAY 25TH AUGUST 2003. (Little did I know that, that day was going to come to haunt me for the rest of my life)! After helping Joan I decided to go into Plymund to buy something to wear for that night, and I ended up in various shops, then in one shop I saw something ‘just right’, to wear. It was a little black dress with a floral shawl and a floppy summer hat to match, it was perfect for going out to dinner in this gorgeous weather. Then I tried to phone mum to tell her the good news, and I couldn’t get her… then I tried to get hold of Casey, because we tell each other everything and I couldn’t get her either, and I got Barry instead. I didn’t want to say anything to Barry. He wasn’t interested in the ‘build-up’ to what could be the start of a wonderful new relationship for me. It was true, that you just never know when you’re going to meet the right person.

So, I still had enough time to get home to get ready, and take the longer route round by The Hoe, by the harbour. It was really busy because of the bank holiday and all the ice cream vans were out, and even the ambulances and police were milling around.

Well, I saw a person in the distance beckoning, and when I got up close, it was Matt, a guy I had lent some money and my cassette player to. We stopped and talked for a bit, and he asked if it was going to be ok to give me what he owed me later on in the week, and, oh yes, that was fine by me, I was in a good mood and nothing was a problem—the sun was out and the atmosphere was great. Mike had been in Seaview, the rehab for drug addiction, but had been clean for a while. I had only stopped for about 10 minutes, and was about to leave. In the distance there were a bunch of guys making a lot of noise and coming in our direction. Michael was from Manchester, and as these guys got closer it became apparent that they were from Manchester as well. Oh no, a bunch of loud Manchunians. They were really pally, and started having a laugh with mike, and then they got out their stellas. By Christ they had about 40 cans. I wasn’t even asked, I was just handed a can opened for me. I took a few sips and went to give it back and leave the ‘boys to be boys’, but they were persistent that I stay, so I thought ‘what harm could 15 mins do, I still had plenty of time to get back and get ready for tonight?’, so I decided to do a spot of sunbathing, whilst, they all did a spot of ‘male bonding’, and competing to see who could be the loudest.! Eventually they decided to play footie, and trust me, their egos were the size of Manchester, and winning was the name of the game. After playing a bit of footie, they decided on something different and then because they were all hot and sweaty, and not in a turn-on kind of way, they decided to go diving. Now, this time, they wanted me to join in, and I said ‘no chance in hell’. By god, these guys were annoying, and in the end I submitted, and, only because I wanted to shut them up, agreed to go for ONE dive, and that was it! So I downed my Stella and it gave me that ‘kick’ of confidence I needed to beat these annoying guys. So we made our way further down the hill to get to the diving area. It was a man-made inlet, with sea water flowing into it, and the diving slabs were built into the rockface… oh fuck, it didn’t look so safe to me but, I couldn’t lose face now by copping out. So, I gave my bag, jean jacket, hat and my new outfit in its ‘River Island’ bag, for Michael to keep for me till I ‘competed’ in the stupid damn dive. Well the 6 of us started our ascent to the highest diving slab, and by god, not only did the slabs look rather small, it did seem rather a long way up so it must have been a bloody long way down. Even a couple of the guys chickened out. So, in the end, four of us were left to dive. By this time, quite a few people had gathered below, obviously wondering what the hell we were doing, hey, there was no pressure there then! Oh, God I was starting to get a bad feeling about this dive. So, first guy, he went, after a few minutes, the second guy bailed out saying ‘no fucking chance’, then it was me… . the guy before unnerved me… I tried to get my posture right whilst trying not to look down. I curled my toes around the slab, got up on my ‘tip toes’, and then just as I was about to take my dive, concentrating intensely, arms outstretched at the same time, about to go… I heard someone shout JIL-LI-AN-NA! It only took,

1

SPLIT

SECOND

for me to lose my concentration… . my body lunged forward as my feet left the cliff… . I was speeding through the air… it was happening so fast… . I was helplessly in trouble… . I was gonna die… my last recollection was me screaming ‘OH SHIT’ . . . I blacked out!!!!??

The really, really, sad thing about what happened after my accident was that, Alec probably thought I ‘
stood him up’
and, my God, I would never have done that, and I lost my phone with all my numbers on it, and that was my only way of contacting Alec; I knew he would have tried to phone mine and it would have went straight to answer phone AND nobody on my side had met Alec and only Joan knew of him, to even let him know what had happened, and none of his friends knew me properly or where I lived!! How cruel life can be… . I was really happy with Alec, and the cruel hurtful thing, was that I really think we would have had a future, and it felt like he was taken away from me like a wicked death… .