One of the Guys (18 page)

I waited longer.

And waited.

More people walked by and,
surprisingly, some of them said ‘hi’ to me.

It was ‘hi Chase’, as though you
were greeting a friend. Not ‘
hi
Chase’, as though you were greeting somebody
attractive. I know because I’d heard guys talking that way to other
girls. Especially the cheer squad.

As I continued to sit on the
stairs, I checked my watch. Over half an hour I’d waited for Logan.
He’d said five minutes.

I looked through the doorway and
saw him talking to some different guy. Not Adam, who he was
supposed to be talking to for five minutes and then taking me
home.

As calmly as I could, I opened the
front door… and left.

I walked home alone, it was getting
darker, and my head was throbbing.

I couldn’t believe Logan had done
that to me!

I didn’t expect him to leave the
party to take me home, but telling me to wait so he could…
God
I felt
stupid.

He’d forgotten about me again. It’s
not as if he’d gotten carried away talking to Adam, he was talking
to somebody completely different!

How could I have let this
happen?
I thought.

I should’ve just gone up to him and
told him I was leaving. I should’ve told him that it was ok, and he
didn’t have to take me. I should’ve just… not gone to the stupid
fucking party at all.

I was almost home, and it’d taken
twenty minutes to get this far. I didn’t have any texts, or even a
call from Logan, to see where I was.

Part of me thought about letting
him know I’d finally gotten sick of waiting and left, but another
part of me thought…
‘No! Fuck him! He said
he’d be five minutes. You waited over half an hour!’

If he’s worried, then
good.

I reached my house with still no
word from him. I went straight to my room, took off my jacket, and
threw it on the bed.

It’d been half an hour since I left
the party, and half an hour more since Logan had asked me to
wait.

I undressed and got in the shower,
washing my hair. When I was done, I picked up my brush, and just as
I was about to run it through the wet strands, my phone
rang.

It was Logan.

My chest hurt.

I declined his call as tears began
to roll down my cheeks.

He rang again, and I
declined.

My phone beeped for a
text.

L: Where are you? I went into the
hallway, and you were gone.

I didn’t answer. I left
him
to wait this time.
My phone beeped again.

L: Chase, I’m sorry I took longer
than I said. I kept getting pulled away. I can make it up to you.
I’ll take you somewhere nice. Just us.

That was it. I’d had enough. I
wasn’t going to let him do that to me again. I knew he’d be so nice
that I would think he felt something for me. Now, I finally
realized that he didn’t give a shit, and Carl was right. He’d used
me.

I felt a hard shield seal around my
heart.

This wasn’t going to happen to me
again. I wasn’t going to let anybody use me or push me into the
shadows.

Drying my face, I answered Logan’s
text with the only two words that mattered.

C: FUCK YOU!

My phone rang, I declined. He rang
again, and again. I turned off my phone.

Less than five minutes later -oh
the irony- there was a knock on the front door.

“
Chase! Logan’s here!” My Dad
shouted.

I didn’t answer.

“
Chase!” He called again. I heard
his footsteps on the stairs. “Cha…” He stopped when he saw me
sitting on my floor, hugging my knees to my chest.

“
Honey, what’s wrong?” My Dad
asked, softly.

“
Tell Logan to fuck off.” I
growled. I didn’t normally swear in front of my parents, but this
was necessary, and my Dad seemed to understand that.

“
What did he do?”

I looked at my Dad, and I don’t
know what he saw, but his eyes widened.

“
Just tell him what I said.” I
replied, coldly.

My Dad didn’t move. He waited for
me to say something else, but there wasn’t anything else to
say.

“
Tell him to
fuck
off
.”
I repeated.

My Dad nodded, and stood, watching
me until he left my room, closing the door as he went.

I could hear the rumble of his
voice, followed by Logan’s frantic explanation. I put my hands over
my ears. I didn’t want any more excuses, and I certainly didn’t
want his attention.

Not now, not anymore.

I was done.

Chapter
9

Logan

I drove home, wondering what the
hell I had done. Leaving Chase by herself had been a huge mistake.
This time, I actually hadn’t meant to take that long.

Yeah, I waited longer on purpose,
but I
had
to
speak to that last guy. He was asking about Chase, and I told him
what I thought. She was off limits. He wouldn’t listen, and I had
to make him understand that in no uncertain circumstances was he to
go near her.

Ok, so we weren’t
technically
dating but
she’s my best friend, and
nobody
is going to take her from me. Especially
that
guy. I knew what he
wanted from her, and he sure as hell wasn’t getting
any
of that. Not that
Chase would have let him anyway, but he wasn’t even going to get
the chance to find out.

I hit the steering wheel with the
heel of my hand in frustration. I couldn’t get to Chase to explain,
or partially explain, what had happened. Her Dad wouldn’t let me
see her. After she told me to fuck myself, her Dad had told me that
she’d asked
him
to tell me to fuck off, too.

I couldn’t believe it. Chase
had
never
said
those things to me before. I’m pretty sure she’d felt like that, in
the past few weeks, and she had every right to. My actions had been
childish and stupid. Pissing her off just so I could be nice to
her, without her thinking I was doing it because I liked her
in
that
way.

She was right about that when she
told me that my moods were giving her whiplash. I’d been shocked
that she’d mentioned it. I thought that I could just hold off a
couple more days and then have her all to myself.

Now, that school was over for the
summer, and the game had been victorious; I’d planned to do
something special with Chase. I wanted to take her to the
fairground that was opening over the weekend. Like a date, but
without her actually realizing it.

We’d had plenty of those in the
past, and I know she thought we were just hanging out. It didn’t
feel like that to me when we alone in her room watching movies, and
eating ice-cream. I could’ve spent all night just sitting next to
her, breathing in the blackcurrant scent of her hair, and watching
as she licked the ice-cream off her full lips. Just being in the
same room with her made things uncomfortable down south.

Remembering how Chase and I had
been best friends since Freshman year made my anger rise further.
Not at her, but with myself. Maybe if I’d have just told her… Maybe
just…I don’t know. She’s everything to me, and now I’ve fucked it
all up because I didn’t keep her with me when I was talking to
Adam. I should’ve just told him to come with us, into the hallway,
and then left with Chase. I shouldn’t have let go of her soft, warm
hand.

Thinking about touching her skin
made me think about how I’d almost unzipped her jacket. It had
caused all kinds of feelings to wash through me as I took hold of
her zip and pulled, even with all those other people
there.

I closed my eyes for a second
remembering how she’d stopped me because she wore only a vest
underneath. A vest that would’ve shown her tight, athletic body
underneath. The curve of her waist and her smooth flawless
skin…

I shook my head to clear the
thoughts of Chase’s physique. It was only adding to my frustration.
I wanted to be with her. I wanted to go to her and tell her
everything.

If I’d have left when I said I
would, we could’ve been in her room and I could’ve been taking care
of her. If I’d have done that, then the other guy wouldn’t have
come over trying to get the ‘story’ on our relationship, and asking
if she was ‘up for it’.

God
, I
could’ve punched him right there and then, but that would’ve only
brought attention to the fact I was overprotective of Chase, and
stopping guys from hitting on her. I didn’t want her to think there
was anything in it, and then pull away from me
because
of it. We were best friends,
nothing more, and no matter what I wanted I wasn’t going to
jeopardize that.

But I had. Tonight. I’d
made
the stupid decision
to leave her waiting. Leaving her to get pissed at me and then I
could make it up to her, like I’d done a lot lately. I’m so stupid,
and I think I might have just wrecked the best thing that had ever
happened to me in my life.

Pulling up outside my house, I
slammed the car door and walked up the path. Matt’s car was there,
and I immediately wanted to punch him. I wanted to hit him hard for
being such an ass to Chase for all this time.

His problem wasn’t that she was a
girl, his problem was that he’d wanted me to go picking up girls
with him. Like I was ever going to do that! His logic was that if
Chase weren't around, I’d have girls throwing themselves at
me.

Ok, so some girls did ask me out,
but the majority of the others thought that Chase and I were
dating, so I let them think that. It was better that way. It meant
that guys thought Chase was with me, and they wouldn’t go near her.
I liked that.

I walked into the house, and Matt
was standing in the kitchen talking to my Dad. He took one look at
me and narrowed his eyes. He knew something was wrong. Really
wrong.

I didn’t want to talk, so I went to
my room, closing the door behind me. Sitting on the end of my bed,
I leant my elbows on my thighs, and my head in my hands. I needed
to think of a way to get to Chase, and explain to her what had
happened tonight. I knew her Dad wouldn’t let me near her, but I
had a feeling Bren would. I’d have to call around to her house,
when Chase usually visits her, and see whether she would let me in
to talk to her.

Bren could see that there was more
to my feelings for Chase, but she never said anything. At least I
don’t
think
she
did. Chase never said anything and she never acted like she
knew.

Bren would look at me, then Chase,
and back to me with a smile. All I could do was blush like an
embarrassed little kid.

“
What’s up?” Matt asked when he
opened my door.

I should’ve locked it. I didn’t
want to talk to
anybody
, let alone my brother.

“
Not now, Matt. I’m not in the
mood.” I said, looking up at him.

“
Hey, I was only asking. You’re
obviously very upset about something. What’s wrong?”

Matt sat on my bed, next to me, and
it were clear he wasn’t leaving any time soon.

“
I fucked up.” I said, dropping my
head down again.

“
What did you do?”

“
I made Chase mad, and now she
won’t talk to me.” I said, turning to him to see his
reaction.

“
So, she’s gone?” Matt asked with a
smile.

“
What?
Why’s that good? I don’t want
her gone!” I said, raising my voice.

“
Well, now you can have whatever
girl you want.” He said, and my anger was reaching its
peak.

“
I don’t want
other girls. I want Chase!” I yelled, clenching my fists. It was
stupid comments like
that
that made me want to really hurt my brother. He
had
no
fucking
idea what I wanted.

“
You do?” He asked me. I saw his
expression change, but it was gone before I could ask about it.
“She’ll only break your heart.” He said, quietly. “That’s why it’s
never a good idea to have a girl as a best friend.”

Matt got up, and walked out of my
room, closing the door behind him.

I had no idea what Matt was talking
about. I knew he thought Chase was stopping me from getting dates.
She wasn’t. I didn’t want to date anybody else but her, and having
her as my best friend was the only way of getting close to her. I
would rather have that than nothing at all.