Authors: ARUN GUPTA
was shocked. And even though I wanted to hug, cry and laugh at the same
time, a firm voice asked like a guard inside me.
What was this all about
?
Hell, however miserable my life was, I didn’t want pity
.
‘What are you saying Priyanka? You will choose me over Ganesh? Is this
a sympathy decision?’
‘Stop thinking about yourself. My life’s biggest decision can’t be a
sympathy decision. I have thought about it. Ganesh is great, but…’
‘But what?’ I said.
‘But the whole touching up of the photo bothers me. He is an achiever
on his own. So why did he have to lie?’
‘You are rejecting him because he is bald? My hair isn’t reliable either,’
I said. It was true. Every time I took a shower, the towel had more time than
me.
‘No. I am not rejecting him because he is bald. Most men go bald one
day,, it is horrible, I know,’ she said and ruffled my hair. She continued: ‘He
might be fine in most ways, but the point is, he lied. And this gives me a clue
about the person he is. I don’t want to spend my life with a person like that.
In fact, I don’t want to spend my life with a person I don’t know well
beforehand. That is one part of my decision. There is the other big part.’
‘What/’ I said.
‘That I love you. Because you are the only person in the world I can be
myself with. And because you are the only person who knows me with all my
flaws and still loves me completely. I hope,’ she said, with a quivering voice.
I did not say anything.
She spoke again: ‘And even if the world says I am cold, there is a part of
me that is sentimental, irrational and romantic. Do I really care about money?
Only because people tell me I should. Hell, I prefer truck driver dhabhas over
five-star hotels. Shyam, I know mom and you say I am uncaring…’
‘I never said that…’ I said and held her shoulders.
‘I’m sorry, Shyam. I judged you so much. I am such a bitch,’ Priyanka
said.
She sniffed. Her puckered nose looked cuter than it ever had.
‘It’s okay Priyanka,’ I said and wiped her tears.
‘So that is it, Shyam. Deep inside, I am just a girl who wants to be with
her favourite boy. Because like you, this girl is a person who needs a lot of
love.’
‘Love?’ I need a lot of love?’ I said.
‘Of course, you do. And everyone else does too.; funny we never say it.
It is okay to scream in public if you are hungry “
I’m starving
”. It is okay to
make a fuss if you are tired “
I’m so sleepy
”. But somehow we cannot say “I
just need some more love”. Why can’t we say it, Shyam? It is as basic a need.’
I looked at her. Whenever she gives these deep, philosophical lines, I
get horribly attracted to her. The guard inside reminded me, ‘
Be firm’
.
‘Priyanka?’
‘Yes, she said, still sniffling.
‘I love you,’ I said.
‘I love you too,’ Priyanka said.
‘Thanks. However…Priyanka, I can’t marry you. Sorry to say this, but my
answer to your mind-blowing proposal is no,’ I said.
‘What?’ Priyanka said as her eyes opened wide in disbelief. The guard
inside me was in full charge.
‘No. I cannot marry you. I am a new person tonight. And this new person
needs to make a new life and find new respect for himself. You chose Ganesh,
and he is fine. You have an option for a new life. You don’t really need me. So
maybe it is better this way,’ I said.
‘I still love you Shyam, and only you. Please don’t do this…’ she said and
came closer to me.
‘Sorry,’ I said and moved back three steeps. ‘I can’t. I am not your spare
wheel. I appreciate you coming back, but I think I am ready to move on.’
She just stood there and cried. My heart felt weak, but my head was
strong.
‘Bye Priyanka ,’ I gingerly patted her shoulder and left.
#37
‘What the hell kept you?’ Vroom said, as he sat on his bike and the main
entrance. He showed his watch to me, it was 6:59 a.m.
‘Sorry man, Priyanka met me at the water cooler,’ I said and sank onto
the pillion seat.
‘And?’ Vroom said.
‘Nothing. Just goodbye and all. Oh, and she wanted to get back—marry
me, she said. Can you believe it?’
Vroom turned to me.
‘Really? What did you say?’
‘I said no,’ I said coolly.
‘What?’ Vroom said.
As we were talking, Radhika, Esha and Military Uncle came out of the
main entrance into the wintry sunshine.
‘Hi, you guys still here?’ Radhika said.
‘Shyam just said no to Priyanka. She wanted to marry him,’ but he said
no.’
‘What/’ Radhika and Esha spoke unison.
‘Hey guys, chill out. I did what I needed to do to get some respect in my
life. Quit bothering me,’ I said.
The Qualis driver bothering me,’ I said.
‘We aren’t bothering you. It’s your life—let’s go Esha,’ Radhika said and
gave me a dirty look. She turned to Esha as they walked to the Qualis.
‘Where’s Priyanka madam? We are getting late,’ the driver said.
‘She’s coming. She is on the phone with her mother. Ganesh’s parents
are coming home for breakfast. Her mother is making hot paranthas,’ Radhika
said, loud enough so I could hear. The mention of paranthas made me hungry.
But I guess I would be the last person to be invited to this breakfast.
‘Looks like their entire families are getting married to each other,’
Vroom said. He lit a cigarette to take a few final puffs before we began our
ride back.
The driver started the Qualis. Esha and Radhika sat in the middle row,
while Military Uncle sat behind.
Priyanka came running our of the main entrance. She avoided me and
went straight to the Qualis front seat. The driver turned the Qualis so its rear
end faced us.
As the Qualis began to move, Military Uncle looked out from his window
and said something. I could only make out in lip sync. ‘You bloody idiot…’ I
thought it was.
Before I could react, the Qualis was gone.
Vroom stubbed out his cigarette.
‘Oh no. I
am
a bloody idiot. I let her go,’ I said.
‘Uh-huh,’ Vroom said as he wore his helmet.
‘Is that a yes? You think I am a total idiot?’
‘You are your best judge,’ Vroom said as he dragged the bike with his
feet.
‘Vroom, what have I done? If she reaches home and has paranthas with
Ganesh’s family, it is all over. I am such a moron,’ I said and started jumping
up and down on my seat.
‘Stop dancing around. I have to ride,’ Vroom said s he placed his foot on
the kick-pedal.
‘Vroom, we have to catch the Qualis. Can you ride fast enough to catch
it?’
Vroom removed his helmet laughed.
‘Are you insulting me? You are doubting that I can catch that wreck of a
Qualis? I am hurt, man.’
‘Vroom, let’s go. Please,’ said and pushed his shoulders.
‘No. first you apologize for doubting my driving abilities.’
‘I am sorry, boss, I am sorry,’ I said and folded my hands. ‘Now move,
Schumacher.’
Vroom kick-started his bike. In a few seconds, we had zipped out of the
call center. The main road was getting busier in the morning, but Vroom still
managed ninety an hour. We dodged cars, scooters, autos, school buses and
newspaper hawkers as we took the road to Delhi.
Four minutes later, I noticed a Qualis at a distant traffic signal.
‘It must be that one,’ I pointed out.
Just as Vroom moved ahead, a herd of goats decided to cross the road.
There were fifty of them, blocking our way.
‘Damn, where did they come from?’ I said, nervous as hell.
‘Gurgaon was a village until recently; the goats are probably asking
where did
we
come from,’ Vroom said as he cracked his knuckles.
‘Shut up and do something,’ I said.
Vroom tried to move his bike, but he only bumped into a goat’s horns.
He considered taking the right side of the road with traffic going the other
way—but it was full of trucks that would kill us in five seconds.
‘There is only one option,’ Vroom said and smiled at me through the
helmet.
‘Wha…’ I was saying when Vroom lunged his bike up on the road divider.
‘Are you crazy?’ I said.
‘No, you are crazy to let her go,’ Vroom said and started riding on the
divider. Te goats and traffic looked at us in shock. Vroom dodged through the
street lights, until we had crossed the herd. Once back on the road, Vroom
sped up to a hundred. A minute later, our bike met the Qualis at a red light. I
got off the bike and tapped the front window. Priyanka looked away. I banged
the glass with my palm.
She opened the window. ‘What is it? We don’t want to buy anything,’
Priyanka said, as if I was a roadside vendor.
‘I am an idiot,’ I said.
‘And?’ Priyanka said.
Everyone in the Qualis rolled down their windows to look at me.
‘I am a moron. I am stupid and insane and nuts. Please I want to marry
you.’
‘Oh really? What about the new man needing respect?’ Priyanka said.
‘I didn’t know what I was saying. What does one do with respect? I can’t
keep it in my pocket,’ I said.
‘So you want to keep me in your pocket/’ Priyanka said.
‘You are already in every pocket—of my life, my heart, my mind, my
soul—please comeback. Will you come back?’ I said, as the red light turned
yellow.
‘Hmm. Let’s see…’ Priyanka said.
‘Priyanka, please answer fast.’
‘I don’t know. Let me think. Meet me at the next red light okay? Let’s
go Driver
ji
,’ she said as the light turned green. The driver, as if enjoying my
misery, took off at full speed.
‘What did she say?’ Vroom said as I sat on the bike.
‘She’ll answer at the next red light. Let’s go.’
There was a mini-=traffic jam at the next red light. I got off the bike
and ran past a few vehicles to reach the Qualis. I tapped the window again.
Priyanka wasn’t there.
‘Where is she?’ I asked the driver. He shrugged his shoulders.
I looked inside the Qualis. Radhika and Esha shrugged their shoulders;
she wasn’t in there.
Someone came up from behind and hugged me.
‘I told you we didn’t want to buy anything. Why are you bothering us?’
I turned around to look at Priyanka.
‘I don’t know what I was doing at the water cooler,’ I said.
‘Shut up and hug me,’ Priyanka said and opened her arms.
Our eyes met, and even though I wanted to speak a lot, our eyes did al
the talking. I hugged her for a few seconds, and then she kissed me. Our lips
locked, and every passenger stuck in the traffic jam looked at us, enjoying
the early morning show. It was awkward to kiss in this setting, but I could not
extract myself from her. We were kissing after six months, and there was a
lot of pent-up demand. Vroom and everyone else from the Qualis surrounded
us. Soon, they began to clap and whistle. The vehicles on the road joined in
with their horns in sync with the applause. But I could not see them or hear
them. Al I could see was Priyanka, and all I could hear was my inner voice that
said—kiss her, kiss her and kiss her some more.
#38
Well guys, that is how that night, and my story ends. We did not know
what, how or when things would happen in the future. And to some extent,
we still don’t know. But that is what life is like—uncertain, screwed up at
times, but still fun. However, let me tell you where we were one month after
this night. Vroom and I started this website design company with the seed
capital that Bakshi gave us. We called it the Black Sheep Web Design
Company. In a month, we had only managed to get one local order. It helped
us break even or even show a profit—depending on whether Vroom charged
the cigarettes to the company or not. No international orders yet, but we
shall see.
Esha quit her modeling aspirations and continued to work at the call