ONE NIGHT (27 page)

about it.’

‘I’ll tell you hoe we feel. Life suc…sorry,’ Vroom said, and checked

himself, ‘It’s awful. Like what did we do wrong? Why is our life in the pits—

literally and figuratively? That pretty much sums it up for all of us I think.’

Everyone made concurring sounds. God sighed.

‘Let me ask you a question. How many phone calls do you take every

day?’ God said.

‘A hundred, on busy days two hundred,’ Vroom said.

‘Okay. Now do you know which is the most important call in the world?’

‘No,’ Vroom said. Everyone else shook their heads.

‘The inner call,’ God said.

‘The inner call?’ everyone said in unison.

‘Yes, the little voice inside that wants to take to you. But you can only

hear it when you are at peace and then too it is hard to hard to hear it.

Because in modern life, the networks are too busy. The voice tells you what

you really want. Do you know what I am talking about?’

‘Sort of,’ Priyanka said, her eyes darting away from the phone.

‘That voice is mine, God said.

‘Really?’ Esha said, her mouth wide open.

‘Yes. And the voice is easy to ignore—because you are distracted or busy

or just too comfortable in life. Go on, ignore it—until you get tangled in your

own web of comfort. And then you reach a point like today, where life brings

you to a dead end, and there is nothing ahead but a dark hole.’

‘You’re making sense. I didn’t get it all, but you are making sense,’ I

conceded, more to myself.

‘I know that voice. But it isn’t subtle in me. Sometimes it shouts and

bites me,’ Vroom said.

‘And what does the voice say, Vroom?’ God said.

‘That I should not have taken up a job just for money. Call centers pay

more, but only because the exchange rate is in the favor of Americans. They

toss their loose change at us. It seems like a lot in rupees. But jobs that pay

less could be better. There could be jobs that define me, make me learn of

help my country. I justified it by saying money is progress. But it is not true.

Progress is building something lasting for the future,’ Vroom said, something

as if there was a lump in his throat. He pressed his face into his hands.

Esha put her hand on Vroom’s shoulder.

‘C’mon guys. This is getting way too sentimental. You can do a lot

better than this. You are all capable people,’ God said.

It was the first time someone was using the word ‘capable’ to describe

me.

‘We can?’ I said.

‘Of course. Listen, I will make a deal with you. I will save your life

tonight, but in return, you give me something. You close your eyes for three

minutes. Think about what you really want and what you need to change in

your life to get it. Then, once you get out of here,
act
on those changes. You

do this, and I will help you get out of this pit. Deal?’

‘Deal,’ I said. Like you won’t do a deal that saves you from death.

Everyone nodded.

We closed our eyes and took a few deep breaths.

Man, I tell you, closing your eyes for three minutes and not thinking

about the world is the hardest thing to do. I tried to concentrate, but all I

could see was commotion. Priyanka, Bakshi, my promotion and Ganesh—my

mind kept jumping from one topic to another.

‘So, tell me,’ God said after three minutes.

We opened our eyes. Everyone’s face was a lot calmer.

‘Ready?’ God said.

Everyone nodded their heads.

‘Let’s go around the Qualis one by one. Vroom, you first,’ God said.

‘I want to have a life with meaning, even if it means a life without Bed

or daily trips to Pizza-Hut. I need to quit this call center. Sorry, but calling is

not my calling,’ Vroom said.

I thought his last line was quite clever, but it wasn’t the right time to

appreciate verbal tricks.

Priyanka spoke after Vroom. My ears become extra alert.

‘I want my mother to be happy. But I cannot kill myself for it. My

mother needs to realize a family is a great support to have, but ultimately,

she is responsible for her own happiness. My focus should be on my own life

and what I want,’ Priyanka said. I wished she had said my name somewhere in

her answer, but o such luck. I think ninety percent of Priyanka. And then he

spoke the most I have heard him speak ever.

‘I want to be with my son and my grandson. I miss them every moment.

Two years ago, I used to live with them. But my daughter-in-law did things I

didn’t like—she went for parties, got a job when I wanted her to stay at

home…. If fought with them and moved out. But I was wrong. It Is their life,

and I have no right to judge them by my outdated values. And I need to get rid

of my inflated ego and go to the US to see them and talk it out.’

Radhika’s turn came next. She fought back her tears as she spoke. ‘I

want be myself again, just like I was before marriage, when I was with my

parents. I want to divorce Anuj. I don’t want to ever look at my mother-in-

law’s face again. To do this, I have to accept that I made a wrong decision

when I married Anuj.’

Esha spoke after Radhika. ‘I want my parents to love me again. I do not

want to become a dumb model. I am sure I can find a better use for my looks,

if they are worth anything. Any career that makes you compromise on your

morals, or judges you because you are not an inch taller is not worth it.’

People now turned to look at me, as I was the only one left to speak.

‘Me? Can I pass?’ I said.

Everyone gave me an even harder state. Sometimes you have no choice

but to share you weird thoughts with the world.

‘Okay. This will sound stupid, but I want to take a shot at my own

business. I had this idea, if Vroom and I collaborate, we can set up a small

web design company. That is all. But it may never work, because most of the

things I do never work, but then…’

‘What else, Shyam/’ God said, interrupting me.

‘Uh, nothing,’ I said.

‘Shyam, you are not done. You know that,’ God said.

I guess you can’t outsmart God. I just had to come to the point. I looked

around and spoke again.

‘And I want to be worthy of someone like Priyanka one day, I do not

deserve her as of today, and I accept that…’

‘Shyam, I never said…’ Priyanka said.

‘Please, let me finish Priyanka. It is about time people stop trampling all

over me,’ I said.

Priyanka looked at me and became silent. I could see she was in mild

shock at my firmness.

I continued. ‘But one day I’d like to be worthy of someone like her—

someone intelligent, witty, sensitive and fun, someone who can seamlessly

merge friendship with love. And yes, one day I want to be successful too.’

We had all finished our turns. God stayed silent.

‘God? Say something, now that we’ve poured out our deepest secrets to

you,’ Esha said.

‘I don’t really have to say anything. I am just amazed—and pleased—at

how well you have done. Knowing what you want is already a great start.

Ready to follow it through/’ God said.

Everyone nodded except me.

‘Ready, Shyam?’ God said.

I gave a small nod.

‘Shyam, can I say something personal before your friends,’ God said,

‘because it is important for everyone as well.’

‘Sure,’ I said. Yeah, use me as Exhibit I for ‘how not to live your life’. At

least I am of some use.

‘You want to be successful right?’ God said.

‘Yes,’ I said.

‘There are four things a person needs for success. I will tell you the two

obvious ones first. One, a medium amount of intelligence, and two, a bit of

imagination. Agreed?’

‘Agreed,’ everyone said.

‘And all of you have those qualities,’ God said.

‘What’s that?’ I said.

‘Self-confidence. The third thing you need for success is self-

confidence. But Shyam has lost it. He is hundred percent convicted he is good

for nothing.’

I hung my head.

‘You know how you became convicted?’ God said.

‘How?’ I said.

‘Because of Bakshi. A bad boss is like a disease of the soul. If you have

one for long enough, you get convicted something is wrong with you. Even

though you know Bakshi is the real loser, you start doubting yourself. And

that is when your confidence goes.’

God’s words shook my insides like the vibrating Qualis had a few

minutes ago.

‘God, I want to get my confident back,’ I said.

‘Good. Don’t be scared and you will get it back. And then thee won’t be

any stopping you,’ God said.

I felt the blood rush to my ears. My heart was beating hard and I wanted

to be back at the call center. At the same time, anger surged in me as I

thought of Bakshi. I wanted to get even with the man who had killed a part of

me, who had put everyone’s job on the line, who had ruined the call center.

‘What’s the fourth ingredient for success?’ Vroom said.

The fourth ingredient is the most painful one. And it is something all of

you still need to learn. Because it is often the most important thing,’ God

said.

‘What/’ I said.

‘Failure,’ God said.

‘What? I thought you were talking about success,’ Vroom said.

‘Yes, but to be really successful, you must face failure. You have to

experience it, feel it, taste it, softer it. Only then can you shine,’ God said.

‘Why?’ Priyanka said. Obviously she was focused on my personality

dissection as well. I tell you, Ganesh may have the Lexus, but she will never

find as interesting a psycho case as me.

‘For once you taste failure, you have no fear. You can take risks more

easily. Then you don’t want to snuggle in your comfort zone anymore—you

are ready to fly. And success is about flying, not snuggling,’ God said.

‘Point, ‘ Priyanka said.

‘So, here is a secret. Never be afraid of failure. If it has come your way,

it means I want to give you a real shot at being successful later,’ God said.

‘Cool,’ Priyanka said.

‘Thank you,’ God said.

‘If only you had given India as much as America,’ Vroom said.

‘Why, you don’t like India/’ God said.

‘Of course not. Just because India is poor doesn’t mean you stop loving

it. It is mine. But still, America has a lot,’ Vroom said.

‘Well, don’t be so high on America. Americans may have many things,

but they are not the happiest people on earth by any stretch. Any country

obsessed with war can’t be happy,’ God said.

‘True,’ Radhika said.

‘And many of them have serious issues in the head. Issues only call

center agents know about. And you can use them to save your call center

tonight,’ God said.

‘The messed up heads of Americans will save our call center? Vroom,

Radhika and I spoke together.

‘Yes. Think about their weak spots, and then you can win,’ God said.

‘Like what/ they are fat, loud, thick and divorce all the time?’ Esha said.

‘There are more. I will give you a hint. What’s behind all this war

sentiment?’ God said.

‘Fear. It is obvious, they are the most scared and paranoid people on

earth,’ I said.

‘We’ll scare them into calling us. Yes, that will get us back our call

volumes,’ Vroom said, his voice excited.

‘Now you are thinking. In fact, you can figure out a way to get even with

Bakshi too. Not completely fair and square, but by now you deserve to bend a

few rules in the game,’ God said, and I though I heard a chuckle.

Everyone smiled.

‘Really, we can teach Bakshi a lesson/’ I said.

‘sure, remember Bakshi is not your boss, the ultimate boss is me. And I

am with you. So what you afraid of?’ God said.

‘Excuse me, but you are not there with us always. Or how did we end

up here?’ Radhika said.

God sighed before speaking again. ‘I think you need to understand how

my system works. You see, I have a contract with all human beings. You do