One in a Bear-llion (Polar Heat Book 3) (8 page)

Hell no
, he thought. But once again, it was a thought he couldn’t force out.

“Give me a painting, and I’ll catch him. I’ll make sure he never bothers you again, and I won’t let him hurt the painting either. Give me a painting, and I’ll make sure you’re safe.”

He could tell from her angry expression that this was going all wrong.

“What if I say no?” she asked.

“Then I would keep you here on the island,” he said. “I’m not letting you go back to New York with that psycho on the loose.”

“It’s not your choice,” she spat. “It’s mine. It’s my life, and I’ve been dealing with this a long time on my own. I don’t need some guilt-ridden male to take my life into his hands as a way of apologizing for not wanting me.”

I do want you.
“I see.”

She seemed to be waiting for him to say something, anything. But the glass wall was up. He could feel things, but he couldn’t make them reach her. And she was going to walk away. And there was someone out there who wanted to hurt her.

She might not want him for a mate, not with how broken he was and how little he could offer, but he couldn’t let her go like this.

“I know I’m not the man you wanted, Mara. I’m sorry. But I can promise you this. I’m not letting you go until that man is dead or incapacitated. So you better give me a painting so I can get this over with.”

She glared at him. “So I give you a painting, you’ll take care of him, and then I’ll leave?” she asked.

His throat was tight. He didn’t want her to leave, but if agreeing were the only way to get the painting and ensure her safety, he would do it. He nodded slowly.

Her face tightened in pain. What had she wanted him to say? “And what should I be doing while you do this? Waiting as bait?

“Never,” he said. “I’ll take care of this. You do what you want. I promise you won’t have to do anything. I’ll ensure you aren’t even involved. I promise.”

She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. He didn’t know how to make her happy. Well, he did, but he couldn’t do it.

“Fine. Wait here.” Then she stormed off in the direction of her suite. When she came back, she thrust a painting at him, and he caught it. “I did this one this morning. It hasn’t been varnished, but I guess it doesn’t matter because it’s going to be ruined anyway.”

He frowned and held it carefully. He looked down at a beautiful sunrise, full of pinks and purples and an uplifting, hopeful feeling. It was the feeling he had when he looked at her. “We’ll get it varnished,” he said. “Nothing will happen to it.”

She shook her head. “Something to remember me by? Something to remind you not to make mistakes like that again?” She blinked, and he saw angry tears welling in her eyes. He started toward her, but she put up a hand, a clear warning to stay back. “Fine. I guess let me know when it’s finished.” She turned and started walking away.

Go get her. Run after her. Do something!

But he just stood there, sagging, holding the beautiful evidence of her talent and goodness. “I’ll take care of this, Mara. I promise.”

She gave him a sad nod over her shoulder and then kept walking. He looked down at the painting he was holding. He could never make something so wonderful.

But he could protect it.

He made plans as he walked slowly back to his room.

M
ara buried
herself in her painting for the next few days while she waited for Scott to come to terms with everything that had happened.

When he’d called her out to talk, she’d hoped he’d resolved some of his feelings. But no, he was still hiding from her, still bent on revenge and protection and making it so she could leave.

She guessed he was probably going to solve this so he could let her go back to New York without having to worry about her. After all, if he didn’t love her, what was the point of keeping her around?

But it was weird because when she’d looked up into his eyes on the night he mated her, she could have sworn she saw love there.

She wiped her brush and sighed. She missed him.

But she’d given him ample time to say he’d cared, to correct her when she’d said he didn’t want her, and he’d said nothing. Done nothing. He just wanted her painting. He just wanted to solve her problems and absolve himself of guilt.

When he’d come to the balcony where she’d been talking to Leah, she’d seen it in his face, in his broken but stubborn posture. He was trying to be a good man. She knew she should just appreciate that.

She knew he could give more. But if he wasn’t willing to try, she couldn’t spend her life dragging him along with her, begging for crumbs of emotional intimacy and hoping he could deliver.

She looked around the room. Multiple paintings were propped up, drying.

She thought of the one she’d given him. It had been special to her because it made her think of their mating and the new start it had given her. But after he’d basically admitted to not caring for her, she didn’t want it. She didn’t want to look and remember how much hope and feeling had been in her as she painted it, even after the confusing prior day.

She hoped it tortured him, reminded him of what he lost, so even after he sent her back to New York with no stalker, he felt a loss in his life.
Because she would always feel him.
She would miss his workaholism and his stubborn insistence on taking control. And the way he was a whirlwind in the bedroom, the only man to seduce with just a look.

Damn, she wished she could have one last time with him. But she dreaded him showing up to tell her it was all finished. She trusted him implicitly to deal with the stalker. When he’d said she’d be safe, she hadn’t doubted him. He was her mate, and she trusted him to get things done in general. But would it be enough to spend a lifetime with a capable mate, even if they didn’t feel anything for you?

A knock on the door made her jump, and she listened, not going to open it. She never opened it without someone announcing themselves, just in case.

“It’s Scott. Can I come in?” he asked.

She sighed and walked to the door, heart hammering in her chest. What would he say? She opened the door to see him there in a suit. It was open, the tie loose and the collar open. She saw a scratch on his face and a splatter of what looked like blood on his chest.

“I just wanted to tell you it’s over,” he said, folding his arms over his chest. “He won’t bother you again.”

She gulped and looked him over. His face was hard, his hands looked scuffed, like he’d been in a fight. “What happened?”

“Do you really want to know?” he asked, a dark look on his face.

She felt the blood drain from her face. Maybe she didn’t. “Just up until the violence, maybe.”

He sighed and walked inside. Damn, he was tall. And so handsome. And so hers. She wanted to tie him up and keep him there, but it wouldn’t make him love her. So she had to leave.

She led him into her room. “Come on. I’ll pack while you talk.” No point staying extra days. Time to get back to her life now that it was safe to do so.

He watched her quietly as she packed, unnerving her by not saying a word.

“Tell me what happened,” she said, knowing that talking about getting things done was easier for him than dealing with emotion.

“I lured him out after he saw pictures of the painting online. He expressed interest in having it shipped. I told him he really should see it in person.” Scott sat on the edge of her bed with folded arms. “He flew out the next day. Made an offer.” Scott raised his hands and cracked his knuckles. “Let’s just say he didn’t like my counteroffer.”

She swallowed. “Tell me you didn’t do anything illegal.”

“I protected my mate,” he said simply. He eyed her belongings. “You want me to help you pack?”

She studied his stoic expression. It broke her heart a bit that he could really just let her walk out like this after mating her. But now that he’d taken care of her problem, she guessed he hadn’t felt guilty.

And he’d stayed away the last few days anyway. If he really wanted to spend time with her, he’d have been there.

But he’d done amazing things for her. Helped her paint again. Brought her bear out. Given her an amazing night under the stars, in tune with nature. She guessed that was all she could expect. Maybe she just needed to go back to New York for a while and let him figure things out. And she could try and decide if she could really live without her mate.

When she was packed (she’d already gotten somewhat packed just in case she needed to leave quickly), he carried her things outside.

She was still curious about the painting, whether it had been harmed, and whether the stalker was still out there and alive. But somehow it didn’t matter compared to the pinching pain in her heart that told her she was making a huge mistake by leaving. But he had never asked her to stay, never said he was willing to work to give them a real relationship. And if she stayed now, she’d basically be agreeing to half a life, simply because they’d mated.

Still, her heart pounded painfully as he loaded her things into the back of a car in front of the hotel. Both Kim and Leah were busy with the brothers they were spending time with, and Mara would call them when she was safely home.

For now, she just needed to get off this island.

“I’ll drive you,” Scott said. “The airport isn’t far, and I want to make sure you get there safely.”

Yes, safe. That’s all he cared about. Her being safe. Not her being happy. Or loved. Just safe.

She told herself not to be bitter; he’d done a lot for her. She guessed a part of her just felt bad that she hadn’t been able to help him with whatever was bothering him. Whatever was holding him back. But it wasn’t going to happen if she stayed. If she stayed, she’d just keep demanding his love, which he clearly wasn’t willing or able to give.

“Who flew you out?” Scott asked.

She told him.

The drive was quiet and she leaned against the door with closed eyes, trying to calm the ache inside her. She didn’t want to be crying when they said goodbye. She just kept telling herself that she should be happy. She could paint again. She had no stalker. When she was ready, she’d need more details about exactly what had happened there. But she wasn’t ready yet.

She kept rationalizing until she felt the car stop, lurching forward slightly.

But when she opened her eyes, she wasn’t at the airport. She was at the house where they’d made love. And Scott was coming around to open her door.

M
ara stuttered
, completely taken aback as he opened her door and pulled her out. He set her down by the SUV and started unloading her things.

“Scott, we aren’t at the airport.”

He ignored her and started carrying her things into the house. Her eyes watered, and she didn’t even know why.

“You’re my mate,” he said simply, coming back after he’d dropped off the bags. He bent and slung her easily over his shoulder. “Did you think I’d let you get away that easy?” She looked at the car in shock as he carried her bodily up to the front steps and through the door.

The house was beautiful inside.

“Didn’t you think it was odd I would bring you here? Make love to you here? Accidentally mate you here?” he asked. “This is my house. And you will stay here, as my mate.”

She opened her mouth to protest, but he brought her into the living room and dumped her unceremoniously on the couch. Then he pointed to the mantle, where her painting was hanging, looking perfect.

“I didn’t kill your stalker,” he said. “Nor did I let him near your painting.”

Her heart throbbed. “Then he’s still out there?” She was relieved, because she didn’t want him to be a murderer, but at the same time, didn’t that mean he could still eventually come after her?

“Yes,” he said, taking off his jacket and rolling up his shirt cuffs as he sat next to her. “But he won’t be back.”

“How do you know?” she asked, not meeting his eyes. She couldn’t help feeling disappointment, and she didn’t know why he had brought her here.

“Because, I told him I was always going to be here. From now until forever. And if he wanted to get to you, he was going to have to go through me.” He gave her a wry grin that showed her the animal inside him. “And I don’t think he wants to try to go through me ever again.”

She blinked. “So he’s not… Wait, forever?”

He put his arms around her and pulled her against him. “I’m sorry for what I’ve put you through. My whole life I’ve been the one who had to push things below the surface, ignore my emotions so I could get things done.”

She stayed still, listening to his rapidly beating heart.

“When my mom left, I didn’t have time to feel sad. I needed to take care of my little brothers, Sky and Sebastien. And help my dad. And deal with the move. I couldn’t have done any of that if I listened to my feelings, so I pushed them away. And I’ve been working to push them away ever since.

“But one thing I’m realizing is you can push them away and be unaware of them, but they’re still there, motivating everything we do. Like my love for my brothers made me push away my grief. And like my love for you made me hunt down the man scaring you. I told myself I didn’t love you, that I was just doing the right thing, but the love I felt for your paintings, for you as a person, motivated each email, each second of planning. By the time I’d caught him, I knew for certain my dad was right.”

“Your dad?”

“I went to talk to him. Right after we mated. I blamed him for making me the way I am. Because he wasn’t capable of taking care of things and he forced me to step into an adult role too early. But he saved me by pointing out maybe a part of me wanted to mate you and that’s why I brought you out here and let myself lose control.”

“A part of you?”

“Yes, the part of me that runs beneath everything I do, caring for people even though I try not to, making me a protector. Making me strong.”

She rested on his chest, just trying to take it all in.

“So I can’t let you leave. I’m sorry. I know you want to go, that you only gave me that painting so I could let you go back to New York, but I can’t. I want you to stay here with me. I want you to be happy, and I want to keep you safe. I know I’m not ready to give you everything, I’ll never be that romantic and mushy, but I need you to give me a chance to give you everything I can and see if it can’t be worth it.”

She swallowed. “You’re crazy.”

He pulled back to look at her, stunned and angry. “I am?”

She laughed and put her arms around him. “You may be the most emotionally unintelligent person I’ve ever met. But of course I can give you a chance. I just needed to know you wanted one.”

He grunted. “Of course I wanted one. Why do you think I was trying to catch your stalker?”

“I thought you wanted to be able to send me home without worrying.”

“I would never stop worrying about you.”

“I just… You never said anything. And when I said you didn’t want me…”

“I know you needed more words then. I know you needed me to say things I couldn’t say. I’m sorry. And I’m sorry you had to wait the past few days.”

“It’s okay,” she said. “Lucky for you, I’m a very patient woman.”

He rested his head on her shoulder. He was heavy, but it was a welcome weight.

“I love you,” he said in a deep, quiet voice into her shoulder. “Tell me you aren’t leaving.”

“Of course I won’t leave you,” she said. “I never wanted to.”

“But you said…”

“I said I wanted you to care. And I wouldn’t force us both into something neither of us wanted. But you’re my mate. My body acknowledged that or I wouldn’t have let you mate me. My bear wanted you the moment she saw you.”

He laughed. “My bear too. He’s smarter than me. He knew we should take you back to our cave the minute we saw you. It just took me a while to catch up.”

She laughed and brushed a hand through his hair. “Thank heaven for bears. So you’ve carried me off to your cave. Now what are you going to do with me?”

He grinned and swept her up in his arms. “I guess the next step is to ravish you until you know you’re mine.”

“I was yours from the moment you bought me that swimsuit. I was just slow in realizing it,” she said, laughing as he took the steps two at a time.

It all felt sudden, yet it felt so right that she couldn’t complain about it all rushing forward at once. It was a like a rubber band that had been pulled back was finally being let go.

When he tossed her on the bed and jumped on with her with a growl, she giggled and scooted back. He grabbed her against him and pulled her into his lap, and then turned to look out at the sunset with her.

“What do you think of the view?” he asked.

She looked up at his handsome face, lit perfectly by the light from the window. “It’s perfect.”

He saw her looking at him and laughed. “Not what I meant.”

She could see her opinion of this place was important to him. “Fine, I’ll tell you what I really think about this place if you promise afterward you’ll ravish me to my heart’s content.”

He nodded stoically.

She rested back on the covers and looked out the window. “It feels like home.”

He turned to her with soft eyes, and she could nearly feel him radiating happiness. She reached out to touch his hand. “Thank you for saving me.”

“No, thank you for saving me,” he said. “I didn’t know what I was missing until you showed me.”