One Hundred Proposals (26 page)

‘Ok, ok, you want the truth, there’s something missing from your proposals.’

‘Like what?’ He was angry now too. ‘Flowers, champagne, chocolates, a fifty carat diamond engagement ring, what’s missing?’

‘You tell me about this secret blog and I’ll tell you what’s missing.’

‘I don’t know what this secret blog is either, it must be something else that Silver Linings are doing on their website and people are getting it confused with ours or thinking they are some way connected.’ He was lying again, I knew him well enough to know that.

‘Why do I feel like I’m the butt of some horrible practical joke?’

‘Oh no Suze, this isn’t what that’s about.’ All anger had vanished. ‘No one is laughing at you, I promise.’

I pushed my hair from my face and stared out at the CN tower. Badger was taking me to an ice hockey game tonight. I
was
really looking forward to it. Now all I could think of was how many people there would be laughing at me behind my back. Being apart from Harry was driving me mad.

‘Why are you not here? I’ve apologised, you’ve apologised. I doubt you’ve actually gone for that interview, but you’re still not here. It’s been five days.’ I hated how whiny I was.

‘I wanted to but Chloe said…’ He trailed off, suddenly aware he’d said too much.

‘Do you love her?’ I closed my eyes against the pain of the expected answer.

‘No. I just…’

I sighed with sudden clarity. ‘It’s ok. I get it. You want to spend time with her. You’ve missed her. I can’t have been much fun to be around lately. Take your time, catch up. Maybe I’ll see you in a few weeks.’

He started to protest but I hung up. The phone rang immediately but just then Badger knocked on my door. I ignored the ringing and went to answer it.

‘You ready?’ I grinned that he was wearing a hockey jersey and baseball cap. He passed me one for my head. I shoved it on and grabbed my bag as my phone rang incessantly on my bed.

‘Aren’t you going to get that?’ he asked.

‘Nope.’ I closed the door behind me and ignored the pointed stare from Badger as we walked down the corridor. I didn’t say anything until the ringing faded completely.

‘So who’s playing tonight?’ I asked.

Badger clearly sensed I wanted to change the subject and rose to the challenge magnanimously. ‘Toronto Otters versus the Dallas Demons.’

I smiled gratefully. ‘The cute, cuddly Otters versus the mean, savage Demons, sounds like the battle will be over very quickly.’

‘I think it will, the Demons’ captain, Harrison Flynn, is just amazing…’

I listened to Badger rattle on about the amazing skills of Harrison and steadfastly ignored the huge pain in my heart.

*

I lay on my bunk as the motion of the train lulled me to sleep. Badger had put me on the train to Jasper first thing this morning and I knew he was now flying home back to Jules and Bella.

I hoped I would get a reprieve here from Harry and the proposals. It was nearly three days until I reached Jasper and I had no mobile signal at all. He would be hard pushed to arrange anything on a moving train and I found myself happy about that. I didn’t want to be a part of these games that Harry was clearly playing with me. He was obviously up to something and I didn’t like it.

The train had left the busy city of Toronto behind, and slowly the landscape had turned greener, more mountainous again. I had sat in the lounge cart all day, staring out at the mountains. It was breath-taking.

Then it had turned dark and I returned to my cabin.

I sighed happily as I put the book I was reading down. I felt contented here. No one knew who I was, or gave me those sympathetic looks. I didn’t need Harry, I was quite capable of enjoying life without him.

I closed my eyes and forced a smile onto my face as I drifted off to sleep. If I said it often enough, I might start to believe it was true.

*

A loud knocking snatched me from my dreams and for a moment or two I had no idea where I was. It was completely dark. Then I felt the familiar gentle rocking, the soft noise of the train wheels as it sped along the track.

The knocking came again, louder this time, and I realised it was someone at my door.

I got up and opened it. I was greeted with a huge man towering over me and in my half asleep state I thought it was Harry for a second, until I saw the black bushy beard. He was one of the porters – as I peered through bleary eyes, I could see his uniform.

‘Miss,’ the man said, his voice was rough like sandpaper with a soft American lilt. ‘You need to come with me.’

‘Is there a problem?’

‘No problem, you need to come with me now.’

I blinked at him, it was the middle of the night. I sighed wearily as comprehension dawned. ‘Did Harry send you?’

The man smiled slightly. ‘He does this sort of thing a lot eh? Wake you up in the middle of the night? I think the man sounds crazy in love if you ask me.’

I put my camera into the pocket of my hoodie top and shoved my feet into my shoes as the man held the door open for me. ‘I doubt that. He’s in New York, I’m here on my own.’

He studied me for a moment then gestured for me to follow him. ‘I’m Connor by the way.’

‘Suzie, though I guess you already knew that.’

I followed Connor along empty corridors – there was not a soul in sight, everyone tucked up in their cabins for the night. We walked through the lounge areas and the dining carriage, until we reached the door leading out onto the observation deck at the very back of the train. He pushed it open and an icy blast of air engulfed me.

‘We’re going outside? It’s freezing out there. Let me go and get my coat.’

‘It’s ok Miss, we’ve got that covered. Here.’ He passed me a huge sleeping bag.

I stared at it. ‘As much as I love Harry, I’m not sleeping out here for him, or for anyone for that matter, not when I have a lovely warm bed waiting for me about a hundred yards that way.’

He laughed and for a moment I was reminded painfully of Harry – it wasn’t just Connor’s size that was familiar, there was something else that reminded me of Harry too.

‘It’s just to keep you warm.’

I sat down on the seat just inside the door and climbed into it – with a bit of wiggling around, I managed to zip myself up in it too, making me look like an oversized maggot.

Connor opened the outside door again and although the cold air rushed through to greet me, I was ready to face it now.

With some difficulty, I half hopped, half jumped outside onto the empty observation deck with Connor stifling his laughter behind me.

‘Harry didn’t really think this through did he?’ I said, shuffling carefully forwards.

‘Oh I don’t know, it’s certainly got comedy value.’

Connor pulled the hood up over my head and tightened the cord so it stayed in place then he draped a thick blanket around my shoulders.

I looked up at him as he secured the blanket, even in the darkness I could see his eyes were kind. I had an overwhelming urge to lean into him, my head against his chest, and I had no idea where that urge came from.

‘Thank you.’

He smiled, slightly.

‘I need to leave you now. I’ll be back to collect you shortly.’

It was only as he stepped back that I saw the incredible view. Mountains stretched as far as the eye could see in every direction. The moon was full, lighting up the landscape like a searchlight, bathing the snow covered hills and fields in a silvery blanket.

‘Oh my God, it’s beautiful,’ I whispered. Why had I gone to sleep when I could have stayed out here for hours just enjoying that view?

I shuffled closer to the rail, desperate to see it all.

‘Miss, would you mind not getting so close to the rail, there’s a seat here. I’m sure Mr Forbes would prefer you to sit here rather than lean out over the rail and fall to your death.’

I smiled and shuffled into the seat as directed, then Connor left.

I watched the mountains sail past, and the train quietly rattling its way through the tranquil, majestic beauty. I didn’t want to blink in case I missed anything, it was the most incredible thing I had ever seen and somehow being the only person out here to witness it made it all the more special.

Something gold and orange caught my eye, and I realised as it floated past that it was a Chinese lantern, its tiny candle flame glowing bright in the darkness. Another one joined it, floating gently past and up into the cold night sky. I stood up. It looked magical. Another floated past, but this one had a large black M printed on the side. I could see where this was going and it was confirmed when the next one to float past had an A printed on the side. I smiled, the golden glow set against the inky snowy landscape was beautiful.

I had to get some pictures for the blog. I fumbled round in my pocket and grabbed my camera, but I didn’t have enough room to bring my arms up to the top of the sleeping bag. I bent double as another golden lantern floated above me, no doubt the first R. I brought my head to my knees to try to be able to drop the camera out of the hole at the top, thinking I would catch it with my face but as I let go, it hit me in the chin, bounced off and hit the floor. I bent over to get it, with some serious wiggling around, I forced the arm out of the hole at the top, making me look like a unicorn with my arm now protruding out of my face. I leaned down to get it just as the train swung round a corner, making me wobble and land flat on my face.

Damn it, this beautiful proposal was going on right above my head and I was missing it. I wriggled around trying to get some leverage to get up, but with one arm by my face and the other welded to my side, I could hardly move at all. I was just squirming around on the floor, rubbing my nose against the rough wood.

I wiggled and twisted, shifting my hand in front of me and somehow managed to roll over onto my back, with my arm now over my face. This was ridiculous. Connor had done the sleeping bag up so tightly that I could barely move my arm at all. Finally I managed to move it to one side just as a lantern floated over me bearing the letter U on the side.

I looked at it in confusion. ‘Marry Me’ didn’t have a U in it. Unless it was ‘Marry Me Suzie’, in which case the Z, I, and E would be along shortly. But as I lay there waiting, not wanting to miss anything else, there seemed to be no more lanterns coming. So if the U wasn’t part of Suzie, what was it part of?

I heard footsteps approaching and I prayed it was Connor and not someone else who would find this hilarious.

The door swung open and there was silence for a second as I strained my eyes to see over the sleeping bag.

I wriggled around, desperate to be able to sit up, but to no avail. I heard the footsteps come closer and Connor peered over the sleeping bag to look at me. It was clear he was trying to stifle a smile.

‘Suzie, are you ok?’

I nodded. ‘Except, I fell over and couldn’t get back up and I missed half of the proposal, well probably more than half. I saw the M, A and what I assumed was the R, but after that I didn’t see anything.’

His face visibly fell.

‘You missed the proposal?’

‘Well I saw the first part, it was beautiful. Were you helping? I saw the U at the end, but I don’t know what word the U was from.’

‘It doesn’t matter,’ his voice was gruff again, almost angry this time. ‘Can I help you up?’

I nodded.

He bent down and undid the cord from the top of the sleeping bag, freeing my hand and part of my shoulders.

I twisted about until both my arms were free and then he pulled me to my feet with ease.

I looked out to see the lanterns, there was a lot more than I expected disappearing into the night sky. A quick count revealed seventeen lanterns bobbing like golden stars into the darkness. Seventeen? With the first two blank ones and Marry Me that was nine. What did the other eight say, ending in U?

‘What did they say?’

Connor shrugged as he held the door open for me. ‘Marry Me.’

‘And?’

He shrugged again, obviously annoyed that I had missed it.

An eight letter word ending in U? Or two words?

With one last longing look at the view, I followed, well actually half shuffled inside.

Connor didn’t hang around, as soon as I was inside he strode off, whilst I was still struggling to extract myself from the sleeping bag. By the time I was free from my confines, he was gone.

SECRET BLOG

I cannot tell you how gutted I am. I’ve been planning the latest proposal for days. Because this was the proposal where I was going to declare my love for Suzie as well. I’ve been trying to pluck up the courage to tell her ever since she left me in New York. I’ve followed her at a distance, desperate to just close the gap between us, hold her in my arms and tell her I love her. But I couldn’t do it. What if she doesn’t feel the same? What if she rejects me? I don’t think I could take that pain all over again. So I came up with a genius plan. I would do it in my proposal and that way I wouldn’t have to see her face when she saw the words. Thanks to Chloe, I was in disguise again, this time like a porter called Connor with a suspicious similarity to Hagrid from Harry Potter. I stood at the front of the train and released Chinese lanterns, each with a letter on the side. I spelt out first the words ‘Marry Me’, then ‘I Love You’.

After the proposal, I hurried to the back of the train where Suzie was to gauge her reaction. But she’d missed it. She’d fallen over and missed the whole thing.

Part of me now thinks that she didn’t miss it, but is only pretending that she did so she won’t have to turn me down.

I need to talk to her because it’s eating me up inside, but Chloe still won’t let me go back to her. I think she’s worried that I’ll get hurt.

I kind of thought I’d be wrapped in her arms round about now. Instead I’ll have to stay in my cabin for the next three days in case she sees me.

COMMENTS

Laura Lovelock says:
Tell her, walk straight into her cabin now and tell her. Ignore Chloe.