One (12 page)

She bites her lips as
if it's hard to contain herself. "
That
is not
professional. Next time please come speak to me before you make such
a stupid decision." Anna's voice shakes a little.

I had to do it. I
shouldn’t feel bad about it. I look at the floor, unable to meet
her eyes. Will I never fit in here?

"Do you
understand?"

"Yes," I
answer quietly. "I do."

Quietly, I slip out of
my old work uniform and put on my new one. The blouse barely fits.
"Barely" meaning the buttons are a millimeter away from
breaking. The pants are also snug, so much so that I can't breathe.
Quickly, I take it off and put it back where Anna had found it. I
drop to my knees, and open the second drawer underneath it. A row of
black pants are carefully folded inside. When I see the size three
tag, I take the pants out, and slip it on as fast as I can. They feel
looser, but still mold to my body enough that Anna won't notice. I
leave the old clothes in my locker and walk out the door.

Anna scrutinizes me.
"Much better." She says it with relief.

"I'm nervous that
the buttons will burst," I confess, trying to tug my blouse in
place.

"The buttons are
durable."

I wonder how "durable"
buttons will help them stay on blouses, but Anna turns away and I
know it's the end of the discussion. We walk down the stairs
together. Courtney and Stella are gone.

"Alex is waiting
for you by the cash register." She checks her watch. "Although
you're ten minutes late so he could be anywhere now." She goes
into her office and I continue forward, past the bustling kitchen,
and through the doors to waiting customers and an annoyed Alex.

Here we go.

I'm immediately
informed there is a line two blocks long for lunch. Alex looks
irritable, but manages to give a compliment about my new look. Sort
of. "I can actually see you're a girl today," he says,
quickly glancing over me.

"That I am,"
I respond, attempting to be light.

"Don't talk. Just
listen." My mouth closes, and any lightness I hoped to have
evaporates like boiling water. He continues hurriedly. "I need
you on tables seven, eight, eleven, and twelve. Nine is red and the
guests won't be here for two hours."

Red means "special".
What does "special" mean?
Alex doesn't explain, and
begins walking to the host table. There is a group of college
students standing idly by. Alex gestures to them. "Seat them at
eleven. Smile. Get their order right. And try not to breathe too
much; that top looks like it's about to burst."

I turn two shades of
scarlet. Didn't I try to tell Anna that? I nod at his instructions,
and attempt my best smile. "Follow me," I tell the group.

Alex clasps my elbow,
pulling me close. "I can tell when you're faking a smile,
Jules."

I smile wider. "You
can, but
they
can't," I bluff, letting him watch me go. I
take the group's order, and while I wait for the girl to decide what
she wants, I make up my mind to smile with my lips only. I don't want
to intimidate any tippers.

Soon, I have no time to
think, only to move and carry tray after tray of food out. Maddie's
is a well-oiled machine. Once the crowd starts growing Anna is on the
floor, constantly checking on customers, and on us. I'm nervous
whenever she's near by. Her eyes are always assessing, noticing the
most minute details. I see her tap Courtney on the shoulder to let
her know a strand of hair had come undone from her braid. Anna even
has another waiter change his shirt when a guest spills water on him,
preferring him to wear something new rather than let it air dry.
Perfection at all times.

It's not what I'm used
to, but I adjust. I get my head in the game, reminding myself to
notice the small details too. I wipe cups when I observe that they
are not crystal clear. I wipe the edges of dishes so each plate is as
aesthetically pleasing as possible. I'm careful to add a wedge of
lemon just perfectly so the straw is exactly opposite it. I notice
that this makes it prettier to look at.

I feel Anna's eyes on
me more than once, and I have to resist the urge to catch her gaze. I
remind myself to do my best, and I feel my smile grow wider every
time I look at the tips I'm receiving.
See?
I want to tell the
other girls who all eyed my chest so disdainfully.
It's about hard
work and not how large your chest is.
The time passes by so
quickly that I don't notice two hours has gone by until I see Alex
gesture for my attention.

Looking down at my
table, I say, "Enjoy your salmon burgers, gentleman. The chef
has prepared his own special sauce with it, and we've been getting
rave reviews. Be sure to let me know if there's anything else you
might need." My lips curl into a smile, and I meet each person's
gaze before heading in the direction of Alex.

He starts talking even
before I reach him. "Nine's here. It's a party of five. Could be
business. Could be family. Could be anything. We push their orders
out faster. Important, life altering decisions have been made at that
table." I chew my lip in worry. And he wants
me
to take
it?

As if Alex can hear me,
he says, "They'll like you. You're… different." Being
different here has always been a bad thing, but the way Alex says it
now makes me feel like it might be the opposite.

"Um, okay."

"Smile." He
takes another look at me. "Maybe not. Look friendly." He
narrows his eyes at me.

Before he can utter the
insult I know is in his head, I interrupt him and say, "I got
this, Alex. It will be all right." I feign confidence. The truth
is I'm a quick learner, but this is only my second day here. I don't
know everything there is to know about Maddie's. I hope no one
quizzes me.

Anna has already seated
table nine, and I approach them cautiously. I hear feminine laughter
and give a start when I realize it's from Anna. She sounds human and
pure and less like a robot. I wonder which one is the real her.

"Oh, here is your
server! Her name is Jules and she's recently joined the Maddie's
family." Anna steps back gently and nudges me forward. I see
four men. Three are older, maybe in their mid- fifties, but one looks
young, my age even. His baldhead is smooth in the noon light. When he
sees my face he grins, and I notice one tooth is crooked. This only
adds to his looks, and he smiles wider when he catches me staring as
if he's aware of what I'm thinking. Instantly, I'm on edge. He looks
familiar. I try not to think about it as I force my lips to curve.

"Are any of you
new to Maddie's?' I ask. Two men with graying hair admit it's their
first time here.

The third gentleman
laughs and says, "I've been coming here since before you were
born, girlie."

"Jules, this is
Coach Roberts. He's the head coach for the UW Badgers," Anna
informs me with a tight-lipped smile as if embarrassed I don't know.
Oh.
I absorb the information with a smooth expression.

"Dad went to
school here and so did I," Coach says, putting an arm back. He's
got slid back gray hair and steel blue eyes. "I love it here.
Love the company," he nods toward Anna. She makes the
appropriate sound. "Love the food; love everything that Maddie's
stands for. That's why we're here today. We're trying to get these
kind folks," he gestures to the older men in suits across from
him, "to donate to a charity near and dear to Maddie's, Hearts
of Love."

Anna nods
enthusiastically. "Hearts of Love has done so much for people in
our community. They don't look at income. They look at
need
.
When Reid was in the hospital, every one of us prayed for him. He's
always been the heart and soul of this place. We watched him grow up…
and to see him so helpless broke our hearts."

I blink. Something tugs
at my memory.

"Hearts of Love
can't run without support. Lots of support." Coach looks
pointedly at the men. "You've got the whole Badger's football
team backing it up. We're number four in the country," he
boasts, cracking his knuckles. "We've got the man power to open
this baby up. We just need the right people who want to join our
vision."

There are ghost
sensations inside me. I remember a burning down my throat. I remember
standing on top of a mountain, swaying, but instead of falling, I
rolled.

"Reid is only
twenty-one-years old and he's already taken a great leadership role
in this organization. He is an extraordinary man, and Cade here can
vouch for what an extraordinary leader he is on and off the field."

"Trying to make me
blush?" A smooth voice from behind me speaks.

I freeze. I know that
voice.

Then like glass
breaking, everything comes crashing together. The party two nights
ago. Riding for money. Spontaneity.

I know who Reid is.

Against everything
inside me, I turn. As if in slow motion I see him.

Pax.

I must've said his name
out loud because he nods in my direction. He steps closer so no one
can hear. "When I'm working, I'm Reid. When I'm on the field,
I'm Pax. But you, Jules, can call me whatever you like." He
winks. I watch in a daze as he slips by and greets the people sitting
down.

"Cade," he
fist bumps the young bald man. "Coach," he says, offering
him a hug. Pax turns to the two men in suits. "I'm Reid Paxton.
Some people call me Pax, but you can call me Reid." He shakes
both of their hands formally. Abruptly I noticed he's not dressed
casually. He has on dark denim jeans and a top with a fitted V-neck
sweater over it. He looks sophisticated, sexy, and manly all at once.
For a second, Pax glances up, catching my gaze. Instantly, my face
goes up in flames.
Why did I just think that?
I look at the
table as I try to calm the rushing of blood coursing through my body.

"Hello Reid,"
Anna greets him in the softest voice I've ever heard her use.

"Hi Anna. How is
everything today?" Pax asks, grinning with marble white teeth.
He pulls a chair for himself.

"Fantastic."
Her perfect smile falters a bit underneath his gaze. It's interesting
to see that even Anna isn't immune to Pax. "Have you met Jules
yet?" She places a hand at the small of my back. "She will
be your server today."

Pax turns toward me,
his green eyes suddenly sparkling. "Yes. She assisted with one
of our events for Hearts of Love." I remember how I "assisted"
and I want to curse myself for blushing like a boiling tomato. "We
raised five hundred dollars in one hour," Pax explains to
everyone. "People want to help if you give them the right
incentives and a simple way to do it." When he says "incentives"
I instantly recall how girls rode the men in barely-there outfits.

The bald one, Cade,
nods. I remember him now. The picture of him is vague, but I recall
the colors of flesh on flesh. I recall the heat. "It was an
informal event; something we decided to do at a victory party.
Imagine what we could do with more planning and support. We can bring
this charity to a whole other level," Cade comments with
confidence.

"Before we get to
business, let's order some food," Pax redirects the attention
back to me with ease. "The chef here is amazing. He's got
delicious specials that he makes using ingredients from local
farmers."

Anna nudges me subtly,
letting me know it's my turn to speak. "The special today is
venison pot roast with an avocado cream and butter sauce. It includes
a fresh green salad and bread baked this morning," I recite.

One of the men in a
navy blue suit looks surprised. "I'm embarrassed to say I've
lived in the Midwest my whole life and never had venison before."

"Today might be a
good day to try," I reply politely. "The chef has let it
simmer for over eight hours, and I've heard people say it practically
melts in their mouths," I offer.

"Well, since the
young lady speaks so highly of it, we simply must try it."

I take out my note pad.
"Two of the special then?" I ask.

"Make that three,"
Coach adds, holding up a finger. "I'm quite partial to venison."

I look toward Cade and
Pax.

"I'll have the
double beef and onion burger with sweet potato fries," Cade
tells me.

"What's your
favorite on the menu?" Pax asks me. I was only able to sample a
few of the dishes yesterday.

"I like any of the
dishes with cheese," I reply.

He leans back. "Not
a picky eater, eh? I like that in a woman." I wonder if the
other people think he's flirting with me. I'm shocked he's being so
friendly with me after last night. Didn't he remember how I walked
out without a word? I remembered how I suddenly felt like the walls
were caving in, entrapping me somehow, and left when his back was
turned. I'd walked away like a coward. Looking at him now, it doesn't
seem like Pax remembered any of it. Or maybe this is a game, and I'm
a challenge he can't resist.
Or maybe,
something small
whispers,
Pax is the type of guy who doesn't hold grudges.
Either way, he's being too nice and it makes me feel guilty and
something more inside.

"What will you
have?" I ask Pax, hoping my voice doesn't sound abrupt.

"I'll let the
pretty lady choose for me." His gaze is level.

I feel Anna's eyes on
me and I nod. I let them know water will be right out, and then I
walk briskly away, wondering how in the world Pax keeps appearing in
my life. I walk to one of the computer stations and start entering in
the order. I decide on a pasta dish for Pax, figuring he'd work out
the carbs. Next, I head to the kitchen, opening the double-sided
doors with ease. I gesture to one of the chefs.

"Table nine is
red, and I just put in their order. Please get it done as soon as you
can," I say.