Once Upon a Road Trip (28 page)

Tessa leaned back in her chair, her expression shifting as she considered. “See, those people you’re talking about? They wouldn’t have overreacted if they’d realized that love is just a word. Nothing more than a chemical reaction in the brain tied to physiological needs.” She spoke with finality. “It’s not like humans are naturally monogamous. If they could just accept that, they wouldn’t have taken it so personally.”

Angie balked internally at the odd philosophical turn the conversation was taking. Instead of finding common ground, they were teetering on the edge of an argument she hadn’t seen coming.
Okay, so how to I pull out this little conversational nosedive?

Frustrated and confused, she collected her thoughts — watching silently as Tessa abandoned her drink in favor of fiddling with her bracelets. The girl’s demeanor cooled to remoteness, which made Angie suspect there was more to her opinion than callousness or even researched conviction. “I don’t see it that way. I think love is a choice, not just something you feel. Devotion is supposed to hold things together when emotion falls short,” she began, maintaining a peaceable tone. “I know half of marriages don’t make it, but then again, half of them do. Statistically, it’s not the worst bet you could make. Especially if people take the time to find out what makes them succeed or fail—”

“Yeah, and most of those only stay together because people are too complacent or scared to go find something to make them happier.” Tessa’s retort came laced with cynicism.

Angie allowed a pause before cautiously venturing, “Your parent’s divorce must have hurt you pretty bad.”

Tessa shook her head, turning a hand over to examine her fingernails. “No I was glad, actually. I was sick of them walking around like zombies, pretending they didn’t want something better for themselves. Narcissism is a natural mechanism of human survival. Why fight it?” The girl’s tone grew clipped and adamant.

Angie rallied a soft smile. “I think...because that’s another part of human nature—the fact that we fight it.” From their conversations back at the apartment, she had already determined that Tessa was exceptionally bright. Thanks to their current discourse, she’d also gathered that the girl was as convinced of her perspective as Angie was in disagreement with it. Doubting an intellectual debate would accomplish anything aside from hard feelings, she opted to redirect the discussion. “So, do you have a boyfriend?”

“Sure.” Tessa shrugged. “He and I have an understanding. I see other guys while I’m in the city, and he does his thing. Whenever I go back home to visit, he gets what he wants.” She raised her brows, as if daring Angie to be shocked.

“Do you love him?”

Tessa pursed her lips, then screwed them off to one side. “The chemical effects of enamorment haven’t worn off yet, so I guess you can say that.” She returned to her chai, sounding more distant. “Think what you want, but it’s a lot better than what I had with my last boyfriend. At least I don’t come back with bruises.”

Heaviness coiled around Angie’s chest. Though they had come to very different conclusions about the world, she detected something agonizingly familiar in Tessa’s guarded countenance. This was further supported in her mind when she caught glimpses of the thin white scars that the distracting bangles otherwise concealed. The girl projected herself as strong-willed, but she was also frail. “I’m sorry.”

We’re not really so different
.

Tessa shrugged. “Don’t be. It’s my life.” The vapidness in her tone suggested she was withdrawing from the conversation.

In an effort to avoid any more points of contention, Angie spent the next several minutes asking about Tessa’s college plans and an assortment of other aspirations. She was relieved to find that, unlike her, the girl seemed under no immediate threat of becoming aimless. Tessa had been accepted into an Ivy League college on a partial scholarship, and she was favoring law school. Though the rest of their discussion remained safely superficial, Angie was satisfied that Tessa’s self-perception wasn’t void of hope for the future.

“Anyway…Scott’s a good guy. But I don’t want you to think I’m trying to tell you what you should do,” Tessa mentioned aside as they got up and headed for the door. “I’m sure whatever you decide will be the right choice for you.”

“Thanks,” Angie said.
Diplomatic but -so- not helpful
, she thought, managing to keep the observation from falling out of her mouth.

Tessa shouldered the door open and paused on the sidewalk, smirking as she motioned to their left. “Looks like he didn’t want you too far out of sight.”

Angie followed her gaze and spotted Scott leaning beside the front window of the coffee house. He snubbed out his cigarette and gave a casual wave of acknowledgment as they approached.

“I’ve got stuff to do.” Tessa half-smiled, quickening her pace. “Thanks for the drink. Maybe I’ll catch you later.”

Angie guessed the parting words were obligatory friendliness. “Sure. Thanks for the chat!” she called after the other girl as she halted at Scott’s side. 

Scott pushed off from the wall and waved to Tessa in passing. “She’s in a hurry,” he said, glancing back to Angie. “Took you two longer to duke it out than I was expecting.”

“We didn’t fight.” Angie frowned at him. “We didn’t exactly see eye to eye on much, but it stayed nice and civil.” She sighed, watching the slight girl disappear as she rounded the block.

“I didn’t figure you two would get along,” he said, motioning with his chin for her to accompany him. “Girls with strong personalities usually butt heads, you know?”

“She’s not as strong as you think.” Angie said and then reconsidered. “But in a way, I suppose she’s probably stronger. I know, that doesn’t make a lot of sense. What I’m trying to say is…keep looking out for her, okay?” She glanced to Scott. He was staring back at her in confusion. “She’s not just tough, she’s hurting. She needs somebody to care about her. And not because they have to, or because they want something from her.”

“Hey, no problem. I’ll watch her back.” Scott’s slumping posture straightened as he pulled his hands from his pockets. “I’ve called her taxis after the last few parties, just to make sure nothing bad happens to her. Not that she probably remembers...”

“Don’t expect applause for doing the right thing. Just do it.” The mom-ism was out of Angie’s mouth before she thought to stop herself. Hoping to soften the directive, she gave him a smile, and motioned down the sidewalk. “The apartment’s back this way, right?”

Scott nodded, seeming distracted as he set off in the direction she’d indicated. He remained silent for a short while before brushing the back of Angie’s hand with his. “Hey, uh…I was thinking about what you said earlier. About my dad—” he began, hangdog expression matching his reluctant tone. “Sorry about that. I thought you were just being a know-it-all.”

Angie frowned, scanning his contrite profile before focusing on the sidewalk ahead. “If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t have brought it up. It would have been easier to just agree and not risk pissing you off,” she said, pointedly. “But I’d rather you being mad at me than not say what I really think.”

“Yeah. That’s something else I kinda like about you.” Scott cast a sidelong smirk her way. “I’ve decided I’m going to work on the forgiveness thing. If it’d make you happy, I can at least try.” He caught her hand as they walked.

Subdued by the warmth of the gesture, Angie looked at his face and then away. She smiled, relieved at the change in his countenance from earlier in the day. “Do it for yourself. And while you’re purging the metaphorical toxins, you might want to consider a literal angle and quit the cigarettes.”

“Alright, alright—” Scott grumbled, though he didn’t appear resentful. Instead he wove his fingers with hers and changed the subject. “Some of the guys are on their way over. I don’t know how late they’ll hang around, but it’s not an official party or anything.” He seemed hesitant about her reaction.

Angie gave a quick nod. “That’s fine. I’ll catch up on sleep tomorrow if I need to.” 

Silently, she hoped the gathering would prove more pleasant than her first meeting with his friends.

June 28
,

The City That Never Sleeps

I got a hold of Zak again and discovered that Eve finally had her baby via C-section. Obie ended up being eleven pounds. No wonder he was having trouble making his entrance! At least they’re both fine now.

As for me and Scott, things are finally clearing up a little. After several days of confusing feelings on both our parts, I took some time to myself. I’d intended on talking to Mom, but it turns out she’s out of town for something with her job. Elsie wasn’t around either…not that she probably would have been much help. So when I called Zak to check on his sister, we had a long talk. I hadn’t meant to tell him about everything…it just worked out that way. He was really calming and kind, and he kept telling me I should just be honest and not so guilty over hurt feelings. That helped a lot.

By the time I saw Scott again, his mother had apparently advised him not to touch me. That’s probably the best idea. Though he isn’t following that so very well, I think it’s at least changed his attitude. I feel a little more comfortable now. I think everything will be alright between us.

Scott’s pack of guy friends came over this evening. They’re still here…being guys. The quieter ones seem okay, at least. The rest are about to drive me insane with all of the macho/gangster crap. After they started comparing nicknames for their genitalia, I decided it was a good time for me to go sit out on the fire escape for a while and catch up on my journaling.

I kind of like it out here, being so high up. There’s a building blocking most of my view, but I can see the East River off to my left. I assume the sun will be rising from that direction, and I hope to catch it one of these mornings. That might make up for not being able to see the sky at night. I miss the stars. New York is a fascinating place to visit, but I don’t think I could live here.

~Ang

Chapter 16

“Ow! Holy crap, woman—” Scott bellowed, holding his head with his free hand.

Angie winced, lowering the unfamiliar bamboo sword she wielded. Her arms still vibrated from the percussive force of the practice weapon. “I’m sorry! You told me to give it everything I had—”

“I slipped on the blocking, okay? You didn’t give me enough time,” Scott said, letting his sword drop onto the grassy knoll and pressing the other palm to his head. “Seriously, I can feel my brain. Were you getting me back over your leg? I told you that wasn’t on purpose.”

Angie’s sympathy for him was short-lived, having already been strained by the day’s activities. The plan of visiting Central Park and teaching each other the basics of their respective martial art forms had rapidly gone downhill. Scott cooperated with her demonstration for less than five minutes before his competitive nature resulted in a grappling brawl, complete with gawking spectators. Things went just as badly with him assuming the role of teacher. Now, she wished they had joined the tranquil Tai Chi class meeting at the front of the sprawling park.

“That wasn’t revenge. I was just doing what you told me to do,” she said, pivoting away from him to resume practicing her stance. “This thing feels so different from the bokken I’m used to.” Gripping the hilt, she arched the false sword high over her head, then snapped it down as she took a lunging step forward. She forced herself to ignore her throbbing knee, a casualty of her companion’s passionate resistance to instruction.

“I shoulda brought my helmet.” Scott’s griping continued. Angie repeated her movement numerous times before he addressed her again. “Don’t take such a long step,” he said, settling cross-legged into the shade of an aging oak tree several yards away.

Angie went on with the repetitions until her arms began to ache. Scott prolonged his self-soothing, rubbing at his temples and the back of his neck. It had gone on long enough by then that Angie suspected she may have caused him some legitimate injury. Not wanting to end her last day in the city on a bad note, she walked over and offered him a hand up. “Let’s go get you some aspirin. I could probably use some, too.”

“I think there’s a drug store on the way to the Café,” Scott said, hefting himself up without letting her bear much of his weight. “We’ve got an hour before we’re supposed to meet Martha for dinner.”

Angie retracted her hand as soon as he had his footing. The previous day had been low key and enjoyable, but it had brought with it the need for her to reassert her belief that they shouldn’t entertain a relationship beyond friendship. However hesitant she still felt over rebuffing him, she considered it far worse to lead him on. “Well, thanks for giving this a try. It was…interesting.” She gathered up the two practice swords to hand to him.

Scott’s cell phone chirped out an Asian melody, and he answered it with one hand while rolling the swords into his side with the other. He led the way onto the paved walking path, immediately engrossed in conversation. Angie followed after him. She remained a few paces behind for a time, until she found herself too preoccupied with the way his dampened t-shirt clung to the solid span of his back. Shaking her head to clear it, she strode to walk alongside him.

Scott held the phone away from his ear as the person on the other end emitted a loud exclamation. “She’s here now—you talk some sense into her,” he directed into the phone, punching a button with his thumb. “You’re on speaker.”

“She can hear me?!” Elsie’s voice projected from the device.

“Yeah, I’m here.” Angie chuckled.

“I’m told you’re still planning on hitting the deep south,” said the disembodied voice. “I’m with Scott, I say skip it. You don’t know what it’s like down there.”

Angie glanced from Scott to the phone he held outstretched, skeptical. “And you do?”

“I watch the news! That’s enough to keep me from being caught dead below the Mason/Dixon line.”