Once Upon a Family (15 page)

Peter massaged his neck, especially a knot under his ear that hurt when he moved his head to the left. Glad that Noah, Jacob and Laura had left a few hours ago, he inhaled the hospital scents that he was fast learning to hate. The sterile, antiseptic odor assailed his nostrils.

A rustling sound from the bed jerked his head up. Peter scooted forward in his chair and clasped Alice’s hand. “Hey, sleepyhead. It’s about time you woke up.”

Scanning the private room, Alice blinked then focused on him. “Have you been here long?”

“How are you feeling?” he asked, not wanting to answer her question. She wouldn’t be happy he had been sitting by her bed throughout the day and night—hadn’t left the hospital since she’d arrived.

“Sore. Groggy. What happened?”

“Didn’t they tell you yesterday in the emergency room?”

She scrunched her forehead, her eyelids half closing. “Everything is a little fuzzy. I remember I broke my hip.” She glanced toward it. “I passed out at my apartment?”

“Yes. Your blood sugar went too low and you went into a diabetic coma. When you fell, you broke your hip, but the doctors say you can run in a marathon in a few months with your new hip.”

She chuckled. “I think I’ll pass. My marathon days are over.” Licking her lips, she slid her gaze to the pitcher on the table beside the bed. “Can I have some water?”

Peter poured some into a plastic mauve-colored tumbler and stuck a straw into it. After adjusting her bed so she sat up halfway, he helped her take a drink.

When she was through, she looked at him. “So you’re the one who drew guard duty.”

“I volunteered. Gladly, I might add.”

“Who found me?”

“Laura.”

“Bless that girl. She’s worth keeping around—” Alice directed the full force of her gaze at Peter “—if a man is smart.”

“No matchmaking, young lady.”

Her smile erased some of the pallor from her skin. “I haven’t been young in ages. I think you need to ask Jacob for the name of a good eye doctor.”

“My vision is fine. You’re young where it counts, in your heart.”

“Tell that to this old body.” Her perceptive gaze assessed him. “Go home. You look like death warmed over.”

“Thanks. That brings such a pretty picture to mind, especially in a hospital.” The mention of death did bring to mind the conversation he’d had with Laura yesterday in the waiting room. “Did you ever blame me for Paul’s death?”

Alice’s eyes widened. “Why in the world would I do that? He had a heart attack.”

“I couldn’t do CPR. That might have saved him.”

“Paul went to the Lord the way he wanted, quickly. He lived a good life and felt as though he’d served his purpose, so I would never have blamed you. You were with him when he died. He wasn’t alone. I thank God for that.”

These past few days seemed to be his time to
confront issues he’d suppressed. First Diana Friday night and now Paul’s death. Laura was right.
People tend to overanalyze situations sometimes, especially when someone they love dies. What-ifs aren’t the solution. They are the problem.

“I’m gonna live so quit frowning, Peter.”

“I’m sorry. I was thinking about something that happened the other day.”

“Will you do me a favor?”

Peter leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs, his hands loosely clasped. “Anything.”

“Let me help you. I haven’t had much of a chance these past few years.”

He knew exactly what she was referring to. When Diana left, he cut himself off from everyone, kept everything locked up inside of himself. If it hadn’t been for Jacob cornering him one evening, he wouldn’t have even known anything. Of course, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to count back from when Diana had given birth to her son. “I discovered I hadn’t really forgiven Diana for her betrayal. I said I had and I thought I had, but I hadn’t. Even thinking about it right now pains me.”

Alice frowned. “Do you still love her?”

“No. No. It’s the thought of her sleeping with another man, and worse, giving him a child, something we had talked about, wanted for so long. How do I forgive her? She betrayed everything our marriage stood for.”

She closed her eyes for a few seconds. “I haven’t told another soul this, not even our minister. After Paul and I were going through a rocky patch in our marriage, early on, he had an affair. When I found out about it, I
nearly left him. I would have except he begged me to forgive him. At first I couldn’t. I tried. Then I turned to my Bible and read everything I could about forgiveness. By the time I finished, my anger was gone. I loved Paul. His affair didn’t change that. I have never regretted forgiving him that day. The Lord knows what He says when He encourages us to let go of our anger and forgive those who trespass against us. Pray for the Lord’s help.” She yawned. “Son, I want you to go home and get some rest. You look awful. That way I won’t feel guilty when I go to sleep.”

He laughed and stood, kissing her on the cheek. “Leave it to you to tell me the unbridled truth.”

“Always. That’s why I want you to know I think that Laura would be perfect for you. Don’t pussyfoot around and let her slip through your fingers.”

Out in the hall he thought of what Alice had said about Laura. Obviously the subtle approach—if he could call what had transpired over the summer subtle—to matchmaking hadn’t worked so Alice was going for a more direct one. He laughed again and made his way toward the chapel. He had some thanking to do and some thinking.

Laura entered the chapel, a simply decorated room with an altar and four rows of pews. The light through the large, round multicolored stained glass window danced across the maroon carpet in the front. She found Peter in the first pew.

When she’d seen his truck in the parking lot, she’d thought she would see him in Alice’s room, but it had been
empty except for Alice sleeping, a serenity about her. After checking in the cafeteria, Laura had decided to check the chapel. She strode to the front and sat next to him.

With his head bowed, he murmured, “Amen,” then looked up, surprise fluttering across his expression. “I didn’t expect to see you so soon. You should be home resting.”

“When you have four kids, it can be hard to rest during the day. Is everything all right?”

“Better now that Alice is out of surgery and doing okay. The doctor says she’ll be walking in no time.”

“I saw her. She’s asleep so I didn’t want to disturb her.”

“I need to head home. Feed the animals.”

“Don’t worry about that. I dropped Chad and Sean off and they’re taking care of it. In fact, different members of the youth group will pitch in the next week so you don’t have to do anything but be at school and make sure Alice is taken care of.”

“Who organized that?”

“Me. The Shepherd Project is theirs now as much as yours. Let them do this for you.”

His hand covered hers on the pew between them. “I’m amazed by your abilities. You just jump right in and take over. I haven’t had to worry about a lot of things having to do with the foundation because of you. Thank you.”

His compliment gave her the confidence to ask, “Then you won’t mind doing a TV interview for our local station about the fund-raiser? It’s getting near the
time and I know we’ve gotten a lot of publicity with the show, but I want to hit this hard while we have that edge.”

“When?”

“That’s the bad part. They want to show it Wednesday so they will need to interview you tomorrow. I realize that’s the first day of school so the timing isn’t good for you. They want to get your reaction and comments on the aftermath of the
More Than Dream
show, then they want to do a follow-up after it’s shown nationally.”

He scrubbed his hands down his face. “I need a secretary or something.”

“If the foundation grows as big as I think it will, how are you going to handle that and your job?”

His laugh held no humor. “I never thought about the heavy workload when I came up with the idea. In the past week we have received tons of donations so you’re probably right.”

“Haven’t you discovered that I’m always right?”

“Actually I have.”

Again Laura couldn’t ignore the feelings his words generated in her. She felt as though she could handle anything. In all the years of her marriage to Stephen, she’d never experienced that. “Keep that up and my face will be flaming red.”

“I like it when you blush.”

He gave her a heart-melting smile that sent her pulse into overdrive. “Yeah, red is one of my favorite colors.”

“One?”

“I have a lot of them. I never can choose just one. I love orange, yellow, red and pink.”

“All the warm colors. That doesn’t surprise me. Those are Alice’s, too.”

“I knew I liked her.”

“I talked with her this morning about not being able to save Paul.”

“And knowing Alice I’m sure she reassured you that it had been in God’s hands, not yours when Paul died.”

Peter cocked his head to the side, his eyes round. “You have gotten to know her well. That wasn’t all I talked to her about. We discussed my inability to forgive Diana and she gave me some advice to think on. That was what I was doing in here.”

“What advice?”

“To let go of my anger and to forgive. That anger only poisons us, keeps us from living our lives fully. It’s like extra weight we carry around, dragging us down. I see that now. It caused me to pull back from life.”

His words hit home. Laura felt exhausted from her emotions concerning Stephen, and yet it wasn’t simply deciding not to be angry anymore, not when the pain had a stranglehold on her that went back years.

“Sitting here, I remember one important point. Jesus forgave the very people persecuting him on the cross. They were killing him and he forgave them! How can I do any less?” He took her hand again. “I know I can’t do this alone. I need the Lord’s help. Will you pray with me?”

She couldn’t refuse his request. He’d done so much for her and her family. She bowed her head and opened her heart to Jesus, desperately needing to let go of her anger, too. To forgive, then forget.

Dear Heavenly Father, I’m trying but I can’t get past it. I wish I was more like Peter and could forgive Stephen. How? Show me the way.

“Peter, what Alice told you could apply to me, too.” The quaver in her voice italicized the shaky ground she was exploring. It wasn’t easy for her to let someone into her life, and yet his words earlier about forgiving held a truth and wisdom in them she couldn’t turn away from.

“How so?”

“I’ve told you that my marriage to Stephen was in trouble when he died. It was more than that. I spent years living with a man who put me down whenever he could. At the beginning it wasn’t so bad, but the longer I stayed married to him the worse it got, especially as he lost more and more money gambling. I should have seen the signs before we got married, but I was so young and I thought I was in love with the high school football star. What a cliché. The cheerleader and the football star.”

A memory invaded the peacefulness of the chapel. Two weeks before their marriage Stephen had found her writing in her journal. When she wouldn’t share it with him, he had taken it and torn the pages into hundreds of pieces then thrown them at her. He’d stormed away as the paper fluttered to the floor around her. Two reasons had kept her from backing out of getting married: Stephen’s wonderful, tender apology and the financial investment her parents had put into the wedding.

“Why did you stay?”

The tenderness in Peter’s expression encouraged her to say more. “For my children. But even that isn’t probably the total truth. I think I was afraid of the unknown. At least with Stephen I knew what to expect or at least I thought so until I discovered Stephen had gambled away our entire life savings and put us into debt. He’d lost his business and it wasn’t going to be long before we lost our home.”

The day the bank had called was the day her eyes had been opened fully about her husband. Finding out he hadn’t paid the mortgage in four months floored her—still did even with the passage of time. But she had been clueless because Stephen had handled all the finances, would only give her a meager household allowance. She’d pinched pennies while he had been gambling away everything.

“I don’t know if I can forgive him like you did with Diana. I want to, but it isn’t that easy. There’s so much…” Her throat constricted around the rest of the sentence, and she couldn’t finish.

Facing her, he clasped her upper arms. “So much hurt?”

She nodded, unable to say anything.
Tell him the whole story
. She couldn’t. It had been so hard giving him a glimpse into the emotional turmoil she’d lived in for years. She shouldn’t have married Stephen, but when he had begun his mental games with her, she should have walked away from her marriage. Instead, she’d stayed. Now she realized her children had suffered, and they had been the very reason she had stayed.

He pulled her to him and held her tightly against him. The gentleness in his embrace nearly undid her. Peter was such a good man. But was she missing some subtle sign that he wasn’t whom she thought he was? Could she trust her judgment now?

Peter pulled up to his house, exhausted from the past few days at the hospital and the emotional roller-coaster ride he’d gone through, but also at peace truly for the first time in years. Praying in the chapel with Laura had renewed his faith, and the fact that she’d finally opened up to him gave him hope there might be a future for them. When he had walked out of the place twenty minutes ago, he’d left behind his anger with Diana and had forgiven her for having an affair. He felt free and once he got some sleep, ready to take on the world—and his relationship with Laura.

When he started for his patio, he saw Chad head out into the back pasture, carrying a shovel. Peter took a detour toward the barn. He would check to make sure everything was all right with the animals then go get some sleep before he needed to be back at the hospital. His next goal was to convince Alice to come live with him—at least while she recuperated. Then once he got her to the ranch, hopefully she would see the wisdom in staying long term.