Once Upon a Family (13 page)

“Alice can’t have it anymore, but she used to love to
make that and I loved to eat it. My mouth’s watering just thinking about it. Do you want to retire to the patio and enjoy the fruit of their labors?”

“We shouldn’t let good food go to waste.” She cradled the wooden salad bowl against her chest and grabbed two different dressings, ranch and raspberry vinaigrette.

“They went to a lot of trouble.” Holding the casserole, Peter let her go outside first.

She needed to talk with her children. She wanted to make it clear she didn’t want their interference. She was afraid they would get their hopes up and be disappointed and hurt. From some of Peter’s comments she didn’t think he was ready for any kind of lasting commitment, either. And that was the only kind she could be involved in—that was if she ever decided really to date again.

Peter held Laura’s chair out and she sat, saying, “This isn’t quite how I envisioned dinner tonight. A far cry from pizza.”

“Don’t let Noah hear you say that. He thinks pizza is the ultimate food.”

“Well, if I owned a chain of pizza restaurants, I would, too.”

Peter poured ice water that had been sitting in a silver pitcher on the table into their crystal glasses. “I worry about him.”

“Why?”

“On the surface he looks like he’s on top of the world, but I’m not convinced he really is. He works hard and plays hard as though there’s no tomorrow. He’s
running away from something and I’m afraid it will catch up with him one day.”

Laura spooned the chicken dish onto her plate. “When it does, you’ll be there as his friend.”

“I’m not sure he’ll let me help him. I’ve tried and he won’t listen.”

“Maybe he’s not ready. You can’t help a person unless they are.” She knew from experience. “For some it isn’t always easy to accept help.”

“We all need help. No one can stand totally alone.”

“But we can’t always depend on others to rescue us, either.”

His gaze trapped hers. “Do you need rescuing?”

I did once and for the longest time didn’t really know it
. “I’m doing fine. My family is adjusting to Cimarron City. Sean seems happier. I like my job. I’m paying off some bills. I enjoy working on the fund-raiser.”

His eyes narrowed on her face. “Then why don’t you sound more convincing?”

She looked away, across the yard. “I have some problems I’m still trying to work through.” The second she said it she bit down on her lower lip, determined not to reveal any more.

“I’m a good listener. If you need a sounding board, just holler.”

She turned back to him, surprised by the sudden lightness in his voice.

“I know when not to push. You aren’t ready.”

“I did receive two calls from Cara today. You know my friend who lived next door to me in St. Louis. Her husband is back in the hospital and they have decided
to send him to the Mayo Clinic tomorrow morning. It doesn’t sound good. The doctors haven’t been very successful in treating him.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but he hopefully will get the help he needs.”

“I hope so.” Laura stared across the yard toward the barn. She had to put Mason’s situation in God’s hands, and if something happened, she would be there for her friend as much as she could be.

Peter laid a hand on her arm. “You?”

She turned back to him. “Yes, just thinking about Mason and Cara. It’s hard not being there with her, but I can’t leave my family.”

A pensive expression darkened his eyes. “Sometimes we can’t do what we want to do. That’s life.”

What did Peter want to do that he couldn’t? Have children? Something else? “The next month or so will be a whirlwind with the start of school, the
More Than Dreams
show and the fund-raiser. I’m here if you need to talk. I’m a good listener, too.” He tried to present a brave front to others, but she’d seen his pain and vulnerability beneath the surface, especially more and more as she got to know him better. He, too, was good at hiding his true feelings behind a facade.

His mouth tilted up in a lopsided grin. “You might regret offering. By the time I get around to being able to talk, it will be the middle of the night. Are you sure you’re willing to listen then?” A twinkle gleamed in his eyes.

Her heartbreak kicked up a notch. “A friend doesn’t put a time constraint on a friendship. If you need me in the middle of the night, you have my number.”

His look drilled into her, and a connection leaped across the table as though she’d been zapped with a bolt of lightning. He started to say something, shook his head and brought his fork to his mouth.

Laura watched him eat for a moment, her stomach knotted with her conflicting emotions. She wanted more from their relationship, yet she was afraid of more.

Lord, what do I do? Can You help me this time? Or am I alone?

No one can stand totally alone.
Peter’s words came back to haunt her.
Are You speaking to me through Peter, Lord? I depended so much on Stephen that I didn’t even see how harmful his verbal abuse was to me and my children until the damage nearly destroyed me.

“Laura, we have a visitor.”

She twisted around and saw the Great Dane trotting toward them. She stiffened, gripping her fork. “What do we do? Do you think he smelled the chicken?”

“Thankfully Bosco is in the house.”

“Maybe he isn’t a part of a wild pack. Maybe he’s seeking a home.”
Like me
. Suddenly the tension left her as if God had placed his hands on her shoulders and whispered, “I am here for you.”

She relaxed in her chair while Peter scooted his back and rose. He went to a large box at the far end of the patio and lifted its lid. After pulling out a bag of dog food, he took a large bowl then headed to the steps.

The Great Dane stopped at the bottom and looked up at them with sad eyes. Peter descended and placed the metal container on the ground then filled it. The huge beast stuck his head in the food and ate.

“You’ve got a new friend.” Laura stood. “It’s getting mighty crowded.”

Peter’s whole face lit with a smile. “We’ll make room. I always have a home for someone in need.”

All you have to do is take a risk, Laura.
The thought was tempting, but she didn’t know if she could.

Peter lifted his head and glanced toward his back door. “That’s the phone.” He hurried inside.

That left Laura with the huge dog. She thought about slowly making her way toward the house, but its tail wagging stopped her.

“Maybe I should take a risk and stay here with you, buddy.” Although she didn’t move, she kept an eye on the Great Dane as he devoured the dog food.

“Laura, the phone’s for you.” Peter handed her his mobile one. His frown alerted her that the call wouldn’t be a good one. “It’s Cara. Your daughter gave her my number.”

“Laura, I—I wanted—”

The roughened tone to Cara’s voice told Laura that something was very wrong. She sank down onto her chair. “Is Mason all right?”

“He died a while ago. I—I don’t—” Tears drenched her friend’s words.

“I’m coming. I’ll be there tomorrow just as soon as I find somewhere for my children to stay.”

“Hurry.”

When Laura clicked the phone off, she let it drop into her lap, numb, her mind blank. Peter plucked it up and placed it on the table, then drew her to her feet. He took her into his embrace and held her.

Then the tears came. She cried for Mason. She cried for Cara. She cried for their son. In all the years she’d been married to Stephen she’d never felt she could show her emotions as she had with Peter. What would she have done without him standing here?

When she stepped back, putting some space between them, she thought of how important he was becoming to her.

“I’d better get home. I’ve got a lot of arrangements to make. I’ll—”

“I’ll stay with your children while you’re gone. They can either come out here or I will stay with them at your place.” He took her hands. “The important thing is that you don’t need to worry about them. Go be with Cara. Help her through this.”

Stunned by the offer, she couldn’t think of a thing to say.

“Sarah will be around to help, too, but since the twins are a handful, I thought—”

She put her fingers against his lips to still his words. “I accept. I need to be there for Cara, and if you don’t mind me being gone for four or five days, I can’t think of a better solution. Sean already spends a lot of time out here, and my other kids love the ranch. Thanks for offering.”

“Friends help friends. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

She gathered up her purse to leave. Friends, yes that was all they were. But she couldn’t help the disappointment that seeped into her heart. When had she started wanting it to be so much more?

S
weat poured off Peter’s face as he guided the wheelbarrow full of plants into the interior courtyard at the second home being built by the
More Than Dreams
show. After emptying his load, he surveyed the progress. With the house enclosing the large area on all four sides, this space would be a safe place for the children to play. The show’s designers knew what kids liked.

“I can’t wait to see it completed and furnished tomorrow.” Laura handed him a tall paper cup of ice water.

He drained the liquid, relishing its coldness as it slid down his parched throat. “I still can’t believe this is happening. They move fast when they make up their minds. Just weeks ago this was a dream.”

“Hence the title of the show. I imagine others have felt the same way.” Laura snatched the paper cup from his hand. “Want any more?”

“Nope. That hit the spot. August seems to be unusually beastly this year.”

“I heard there’s a cold front coming in tonight with
a chance for rain. Tomorrow’s only supposed to be in the mid-nineties.”

“What will we do with all that cool weather?”

“And don’t forget the rain.”

Laura’s laughter penetrated his heart with warmth. He was glad she was laughing. The past few weeks since she returned from the funeral in St. Louis she had been quiet, withdrawn. “What’s rain? I’ve forgotten what it is. Refresh my memory.”

“You know water that comes down from the skies.” Laura crushed the paper cup in her hand. “If it does rain, we’ll have more than the completion of the houses to celebrate at the party tomorrow night.”

“
If
is the operative word.” As much as he loved talking with Laura, the sounds of hammers and saws coming from inside the cottage called him back to work. Peter picked up the handles of the wheelbarrow and started toward the sliding-glass doors that led into the large family room. “Besides delivering water, what have you been doing?”

Laura walked alongside him through the house and out onto the porch that ran the length of the front. “Helping put the kitchen together.” She waved her hand down the length of her. “Can’t you tell?” She pointed to a bright cobalt-blue blob on her denim shorts. “This is the trim and this—” she touched a yellow streak on her T-shirt “—is an accent color.”

“I see you’re still messy with a paintbrush.”

She flashed him a saucy smile. “Well, my break is over. Back to work. We only have twenty-four hours to the big wrap-up party.”

While Laura went back inside, Peter paused on the porch. Hundreds of volunteers were scrambling to finish the two houses. Some were people from school. Others were friends from church. But there were a lot of strangers who had offered a helping hand.

“Peter, do you want anything to drink?” Sadie stopped beside him with a tray full of cups of water.

“Laura just brought me one.” He’d seen Sadie earlier at school. Although the students didn’t start until next Tuesday, the day after Labor Day, he and the staff had been dividing their time between working at the school and here. The fact that the whole high school staff had volunteered to help shouldn’t have really surprised him. The people he worked with were generous to the point where many were putting in long hours at both places.

“I’m gonna have to have a word with her about taking my job. This is about all I can do.” She glanced down at her rounded stomach. “It won’t be long. Actually should have already happened. Andrew is beside himself. He should be here somewhere. He’s so excited about becoming a father again. This time he’s sure it’s a girl.”

The mention of Andrew being excited, coupled with Sadie being very pregnant, brought back memories of three years ago when Diana announced to him that she was going to have a baby—another man’s. The betrayal he experienced at the moment still stunned him even today. She’d had an affair with a neighbor, gotten pregnant and was leaving him to marry the man. She’d relished telling him that her lover had been able to give her what he couldn’t—a baby.

“Peter, are you okay?”

He heard Sadie’s words as though she were yards away from him instead of inches. He curled his hands so tightly that pain shot up his arms. “I—I’m okay.” He tried to smile, but the corners of his mouth quivered.

“Has the heat gotten to you? Here, take another drink.” With concern etched into her features, Sadie thrust the whole tray toward him.

“No, I’m fine really. I just remembered something.”

A doubtful look pinched her lips into a frown. “You want me to go get Laura?”

“No!” He said it so fast even he was surprised.

Laura was the last person he wanted to see while his emotions raged and waffled. Diana’s infidelity underscored all the reasons he needed to be cautious in any relationship with another woman. Diana had taken his heart and stomped all over it. The few times he’d seen her since the divorce had wrenched him with thoughts of what could have been. The more attracted he became to Laura the more he thought about his ex-wife. How could he put his heart on the line when he hadn’t forgiven Diana? That realization struck him like a wrecking ball knocking down an old abandoned building.

“Maybe I will take another cup of water.” Peter snatched one from the tray and downed it. “I’d better get back to work. There’s still a lot that needs to be done.”

“Okay, boss,” he heard Sadie say as he hurried away with his wheelbarrow to get more plants.

Why hadn’t he realized he hadn’t forgiven Diana?
Why had he thought he’d worked his way past the hurt?
Probably because I haven’t dwelled on what happened in the past. In fact, I’ve made it a point not to think about what transpired those last few months with her. But there’s no way I can go forward with Laura, feeling this way. It wouldn’t be fair to her.

He’d known Laura had been running away from her past but to discover he had, too, still stunned him fifteen minutes later when Jacob cornered him in the courtyard.

“Peter, slow down. We’re going to get this done in time for the party.”

Peter paused in lifting the last bag of mulch from the wheelbarrow. “We still have so much to do.”

“Are you planning to stay late again?”

Peter dropped the bag onto the cement near the flower bed. “Yes. I’m not sure we can complete the houses in time.” He starting pouring the mulch around the begonias.

Jacob gripped his arm. “Want to talk about what’s really bothering you?”

“What do you mean?”

“I know you, Peter. We’ve been friends for years. I think of you as a brother. You’re upset. It’s written all over your face. Is it Laura? I saw you talking with her earlier.”

Peter frowned. “It’s Diana.”

“Oh.”

There was a wealth of meaning in that one word. Jacob had been there for him through the divorce. He’d seen Diana’s baby at the hospital hours after he had been born. Jacob had been the one who’d made him
realize he had to go on with his life. “For the past few years I thought I was over what had happened to Diana and me. Yes, I was cautious about getting involved, but I attributed that to being gun-shy. Today I found out that wasn’t really the case.”

Jacob pulled him away from the others working on the courtyard. “You aren’t over Diana? You still love her?”

Peter shook his head. “It’s not that. But when I was talking with Sadie, all of a sudden I realized I’d never forgiven Diana for getting pregnant with another man’s child.”

Jacob’s brow creased. “But you’ve been around Sadie for months. You two work together. She’s involved in the fund-raiser.”

“I know. But when she began talking about how excited Andrew was about becoming a father again, something clicked in my brain. I’m still carrying around a lot of anger. Anger I thought I dealt with.”

Jacob cocked his head to the side. “Does Laura have anything to do with this new revelation? I know how much you care about her. Does that scare you? Are you using Diana as an excuse to back off?”

“You are just full of questions.”

“And you’re avoiding answering me.”

Peter wanted to avoid his friend’s inquiries, but Jacob wouldn’t let him. He knew him too well. “How can I move on when I feel such anger at Diana for betraying our vows? Will that happen again? I don’t want to be alone. I want children running all over the place. Is that why I’m attracted to Laura? She has four kids who are
wonderful. That was only confirmed when I took care of them while she was in St. Louis.” Peter raked his fingers through his sweat-drenched hair. “If I ever marry again, it has to be forever. I can’t go through what I did with Diana again.”

“Are you sure it isn’t cold feet the closer you get to Laura? I’ve seen you two together and there are definitely sparks flying. I’m envious. I want that one day.”

“I need to be one hundred percent sure. I don’t ever want to hurt Laura or her kids.”

“Of course. But you know nothing is a guarantee except the Lord’s love. We make the best choices we can and hope for the best.”

Tension seized Peter’s neck muscles in a tight hold. He kneaded his fist into his nape. “After what happened with Diana, I can’t have a relationship with secrets. And Laura is keeping some. She won’t let me in.”

“Have you been totally open with her, especially about Diana?”

Jacob’s question plagued him far into the night. Even when he finally laid his head on his pillow, he couldn’t sleep. He hadn’t let Laura in completely, either. There was always a part of him he held back. What a pair they made. As he had begun to get to know Laura, he’d actually started to think he was ready to date, to get involved with a woman, to marry again. Now he knew better.

The festive air of the
More Than Dreams
final taping stirred Laura out of her exhaustion. The balloons, the signs, the food, the volunteers were all in place. She stood at the front of the crowd, waiting for Peter, Noah,
Jacob and Alice to arrive to do a walk-through of both houses with the show’s host.

Someone jostled Alexa, and she bumped into Laura. “Mom, look at all the people. I’m glad we got here early.”

After finishing up the kitchen, Laura had gone home a few hours ago to dress for the taping and party. As one of the board members of the foundation, she knew she would be in the front of the mass of people because of their involvement.

“Look, there’s Alice.” Joshua pointed toward the silver Lexus that pulled up in front of the cottages. “She’s using a cane. Is something wrong with her?”

“It’s been a long week. That’s all,” answered Aunt Sarah, who stood on the other side of Laura.

Was that all? Laura wondered. She studied Alice’s slow gait. Laura realized that the past week had been hectic even for Alice who hadn’t done any of the physical labor. But she had been interviewed more than once and had been in the middle of all the chaos. She loved every minute of it, but the tired lines had deepened as the week progressed. Alice probably wouldn’t admit it, but being on this show was one of her dreams coming true.

What is my dream?

She would have said when she’d first come to Cimarron City to get her own place, to provide for her family and pay off her debts. Now she didn’t know. When she thought about Peter, confusion reigned. There wasn’t one indication he was anything like Stephen, and yet fear and guilt kept her from taking the next step with him.

Maybe her dream should be to know what her dream was.

She laughed at the thought.

“What’s so funny?” Sean said, having pushed his way closer to her.

“Oh, nothing. Where have you been?”

“Taking care of the animals in the barn. Chad helped. I told Peter I would, since I knew he wouldn’t be able to.”

What if she continued to see Peter? How would Sean take it? They hadn’t talked much, both of them being so busy with the foundation and the Shepherd Project. Although her eldest spent a lot of time at the ranch, especially since it was summer, there was still a reserve between Peter and her son, as though Sean wanted more but wasn’t sure about it. Much like her. She needed to have that conversation with her teen. She couldn’t disrupt her children’s lives any more than she already had, especially Sean’s.

“They’re going inside.” Matthew tugged on the sleeve of her soft peach-colored dress, the only thing she had bought for herself in a long time.

The group entered the first house with the camera crew filming it all. She’d have to wait until the program aired to see Peter’s reactions to a few of the surprises she knew had been brought in after he went back to his house to get ready and to pick up Alice. Computers for the kids. A van in the garage. A state-of-the-art office for the house parent. A whole array of games in the family room.

“When do we get to go through?” Alexa asked.

“As soon as the group moves to the other house, we can have the grand tour.”

“Really?” Joshua hopped from one foot to the other. “Before everyone else?”

“Yep, kiddo. Mom’s on the board.” Sean slapped him playfully on the top of his head.

Ten minutes later Laura with her family and the others who were involved with her in the fund-raiser were allowed to go into the first cottage. The producer wanted their reactions taped for the show, as well. She wondered how it all would be spliced together.

Laura linked her arm through Aunt Sarah’s and headed up the steps. Although she’d seen most of the house, awe still washed over her as Laura went through it—enough bedrooms and baths for eight foster children and one house parent or couple, a large family room and dining room with a long table that seated twelve, a well-equipped kitchen and a laundry room with two washers and dryers. Beige tiles covered the floors in all the common rooms while a medium brown carpet was in the bedrooms. Large windows brought the outside into the cottage, making the place cheerful, warm. And all this had been built in a short time because of the tons of people involved in the construction. Amazing!

“Mrs. Williams, you’re one of the board members of the Henderson Foundation. How do you feel today about seeing the completion of the houses?” a production assistant asked while a cameraman filmed her response. Another person from the local television station was present, too.