Once Upon a Caveman (5 page)

“Moose-y!”

“I
should just leave him to be cat food.”  Lucy muttered, ducking through the
dense foliage.

She
could hear a river somewhere off to her right.  Water sources would attract all
sorts of animals.  Every muscle in her body was tensed against possible
attack.  As much as the sabretooth fascinated her, there was no getting around
the fact that it was an apex predator.  Where it came from seemed a lot less
important than it being here
now
.

The
damn things hunted in packs.  In fact, Lucy had written her thesis on
sabretooths’ social behavior, so she was kind of an expert on just how
effective they were at killing in groups.  More could be stalking her, right
now.  She swore she could feel yellow eyes watching her as she closed in on
Warren’s position.

Turns
out, she was right.  Sort of.  Both Warren and the sabretooth were staring at
her when she made it to the clearing.

…And
both of them were ankle-deep in a sticky black swamp.

The
tar pit was a wide asymmetrical stain seeping up from the ground.  There was a
thin layer of water and dead leaves collected on top of it, unable to drain
through the gooey asphalt.  Animals (and Warrens) could easily lumber into it,
thinking it was a nothing but a shallow puddle, and stay there until some
museum team excavated their bones a few millennia later.

“I’m
stuck.”  Warren said weakly.

“You
idiot.”  Two inches of black sludge could incapacitate a cow and he’d somehow
waded out into the middle of it.

The
sabretooth gave a roar of fury and fear.  It seemed like it must have leapt at
Warren after he was trapped and landed in the tar itself.  The cat was lodged
in the pit about ten feet away from him, black gunk in its beautiful golden
fur.

Lucy
felt a lot worse about the sabretooth being imprisoned than Warren.  It was an
extraordinary survivor of another age.  A paleontological marvel.  Just
finding
it guaranteed that colleges would be lining up to give her a Ph.D.  More
importantly, this majestic creature could add
so much
to their body of
knowledge.  Studying its behavior would revolutionize everything they knew
about the Ice Age.  It was the most important scientific discovery of the
century.

Already,
she was thinking of ways to save it.

“You
have to get me out of here!”  Warren ordered when Lucy kept staring at the cat.

“Do
you understand what this is?”  She whispered in awe.

“Yeah! 
It’s a goddamn lion.”

It
was the size of a large lion and had a tawny-colored coat, but even Warren should’ve
been able to see that this was no ordinary animal.  “This is a sabretooth! 
Look at its teeth.”

“
Who
cares what it is?
  Just find a rope or something!”

“Moron.” 
She muttered again and tried to focus on saving his worthless ass.  The rope
wasn’t happening, unless she weaved one out of vines, so she extended the
branch to him.  It was too short.  Lucy let out a frustrated sigh.  “How did
you even get out there?”

“I
don’t know!  I was just running and then I was caught. 
Do
something.”

“Can
you really not understand how important this animal is?”  Lucy demanded as she
hunted around for a longer stick.  “Sabretooth cats lived during the Ice Age. 
The
Ice Age
, Warren!  It’s like finding a wooly mammoth wandering
around.”

“I.
Don’t.
Care
.”  He shouted, spacing out each word for emphasis.  “All I
care about is getting free and going home.  Away from cruise ships and
volcanoes and lions and sharks and…”  His rant ended in a wheeze.  “Guys with
spears.”

“Guys
with spears?”  Lucy echoed.  “What the hell are you…?”  She stopped short as
guys with spears stepped into the clearing and surrounded them.

There
were six of them, decked out in loincloths and necklaces made from teeth.  All
of them were blond and built like MMA fighters.  Maybe it was the sabretooth sighting
talking, but they looked a hell of a lot like… cavemen.

Lucy
gaped at them.

They
gaped back.

For
a long moment, there was nothing but the sound of the sabretooth thrashing to
get free of the tar and the howl of the wind through the mutant trees.

Then,
in some kind of cult-y unison, all six of the men fell to their knees and
started praying towards the sky.  And the volcano.  And Lucy and Warren. 
Insanely enough, she recognized some of the words they were spouting from her
dreams with Rhawn.  What was
happening
here?

“What…
the… fuck?”  Warren asked blankly.

“I
don’t know.”  Lucy swallowed, trying to wrap her mind around this craziness. 
“I think… They might believe we’re --like-- deities.”

Warren’s
eyebrows soared.  “For real?”

“I
think so.” 
Thinking
was all she could do at the moment, but none of her
thoughts made much sense.  Try as she might, Lucy just couldn’t get the facts
to form any kind of logical picture.  “I’ll try to explain we’re not, but I’m
not really sure how to…”

“Are
you crazy?”  He interrupted, his face suddenly alive with crafty ideas. 
“Didn’t you see
Ghostbusters?
  When someone asks if you’re a god, you
say
yes.
”

“You
want to impersonate the
gods
of these
heavily-armed men?  You
really think that’s a good idea?”

“You
got a better one?”  Warren didn’t bother to wait for an answer.  “Hey you
.
” 
He pointed at the largest man, who gazed up at him in something like awe.  The
guy seemed to be the leader, with long blond dreadlocks and the biggest
necklace of all.  It looked like a giant tooth.  “That’s right. 
You
,
Conan.  Go find me a rope before I zap you with a lightning bolt, ya know?”

Within
two seconds of spotting her, the caveman’s hand is already finding its way
under the hem of Lucy’s nightshirt.  He touches places no one else has touched
and she’s super-duper fine with that.  Considering what his fingers are
doing
in those places, she’s sure not going to object.

Lucy
arches against him, sending him a grin.  “Hi, caveman.”  She says teasingly.

His
gaze roams over her face, as his hands roam over her body.  She can see him
working through her words, trying to figure them out.  Intelligence and desire
battle in his incredible brown eyes.

“Hi.” 
He whispers back.

The
caveman might not understand English, but he’s smart enough to piece together
her familiar greeting and return it.  That is amazing.  Way better than she
could do with his language.  Lucy beams, impressed with how bright he is.

He
smiles back at her like she’s the most special girl in the world.

Rhawn
and Lucy’s Dream- Thirteen Years Ago

For
generations, this day had been prophesized.  For generations, people had been
both fearful that they would live to see it come and inspired by the thought of
witnessing it for themselves.

Yet,
this generation was chosen.

All
their legends had been leading to this.  All their hopes were pinned to it,
especially as the shaking grew worse and the island sank deeper into the sea. 
This was the moment of their destiny.

The
final battle between good and evil.

The
Clan gathered in reverent excitement, their eyes bright as they gazed at the gods.
 Finally seeing them was all the Clan hoped for and all that they dreaded.  It
showed them that the myths were true.  Here at the end of time, this man and
woman would battle for the souls of all.

For
better or worse, the
Ardin
had arrived.

“They
are here!”  Skoll called, leading the group of men who’d found the gods.  He
held his spear above his head, the massive tooth pendant at his throat glinting
in the sun.  “We are saved!”

Rhawn
barely heard his shouting.  Skoll was an ass, so it was second nature to ignore
him even on days when the world
wasn’t
ending.  Really, though, it
wouldn’t have mattered who was talking.  From the second he saw the female,
Rhawn wasn’t able to process anyone or anything else.

Blaming
Rhawn for the latest shaking, the Clan had confined him in one of the smaller
caves while they debated whether or not to execute him.  Skoll argued it would
be safer to remove Rhawn from their midst, once and for all.  Many agreed. 
Meanwhile, Anniah, daughter of the chief, argued that the gods would be angered
if they harmed him.  After all, Rhawn was the one who received their visions.  Perhaps
they had plans for him, beyond the Clan’s understanding.  Many people agreed
with that, too.  Sometimes the same people agreed with both ideas.

There
was so much fear in the Clan these days, most of them would agree with
anything.

Unsure
of their correct course, they’d finally compromised on locking Rhawn up.  The
Clan had fashioned bars from thick bamboo and fastened them over the entrance,
trapping him inside.  It was pointless and stupid, like much of what they did. 
He went along with it, because he had nothing else to do.  Until now.  Until
her
.

Rhawn
staggered to his feet, gripping the bars as he gazed out at the woman.

The
Destroyer.

Lucy.

Her
hair fell in enchanted dark waves, her body so much lusher than the thin and
muscular women of the clan.  She was dressed in the clothing of her magical
world, her nails still tipped with the nearly-black paint.  Around her neck,
there was a necklace of sparkling green beads that must have been more costly than
anything else in creation.

Only
someone with the brainpower of a rock could look at her and not see she was
made to lure men to their doom.  But, Rhawn had never been a man of much
intelligence.

To
him she looked… perfect.

The
punch of desire nearly sent him to his knees.  His mind was whirling, trying to
process what shouldn’t be.  How could she be standing right in front of him? 
It was impossible.  His body didn’t give a shit about ‘possible,’ thought.  It
just wanted to get closer to her.  Every instinct in him clambered at him to
grab her.  To throw her over his shoulder and carry her back to his cave.  To
Choose her before another man could steal her away.

She
was real.

The
backs of his eyes burned and he squeezed them shut, whispering a prayer of
thanks.  This wasn’t a dream or a fantasy.  Whatever happened next didn’t
matter.  His mate was standing ten feet from him, beautiful and alive.

She
was
real.

“Holy
goddamn frigging hell on a go-cart.”  The Savior said in the language of the
gods.  None of the Clan could understand his words, except for Rhawn, and even
he wasn’t sure what they meant.  It might have been a prayer, but who did gods
pray to?  “These freaks are living in caves, Lucy.  No wonder they smell so
bad, ya know?”

“Shut
up and try to look divine.”  The Destroyer hissed back, but she wasn’t really
paying attention to the Savior.  Her eyes traveled up and down the small valley,
cataloguing the caves carved into the stone walls.  “This isn’t right.”  She
whispered.  “Where are we?”

“We’re
in a
National Geographic
special.”  The Savior told her.  “Like one of
those tropical islands where the natives worship Coke bottles.”

“No,
it’s not that.”  The Destroyer shook her head, something like fear on her face.
 “No way.”

Perhaps
she knew her time was drawing to a close.  If the stories were true, and thus
far they had been completely accurate, the Destroyer and her followers were
doomed to die on this island.  She must sense that.  No wonder she was afraid.

Rhawn
wished he could move closer to her and ease her terrified expression.  She
hadn’t spotted him yet.  Despite his size, Rhawn was good at not being seen,
especially locked in his cell.  He gazed at her, wondering if she would know
him.  Gods, but he knew her.  The woman was even more gorgeous than she’d been
in his dreams.  Looking at her, he remembered every inch of her body.  The soft
glow of her eyes meeting his.  The radiance of her smile.

The
feel of her lips.

His
soul was truly damned, because all Rhawn could do was stare at her and
want
. 
Many things fascinated him, but sex was right at the top of the list.  He
rarely got a chance to experiment with it, but now he could think of a thousand
different ideas he wanted to try out with Lucy.  He knew her arrival signaled
the end of the world and he still wanted to roar with triumph.

Several
people edged away from his cell, uneasy at the sight of Rhawn’s predatory grin. 
Even with the bars separating them, he tended to scare people.

“Why
‘no way’?”  The Savior asked Lucy.  “What else could these freaks be except a
primitive, lost tribe of Aruba or some shit?”

“There
are no primitive, lost tribes of Aruba.” Lucy snapped.  “Are you really that
stupid?”

“Well,
you explain it then!”

“I
can’t
explain it.  That’s the problem. 
No way
does any regular island
have an erupting volcano, living sabretooth cats, and a whole village of
cavemen, but not anthropologist, biologist, geologist, zoologist, or
paleontologist in sight.  No
way
.”  Her words came out so fast that
Rhawn had a hard time differentiating one from another.

“Maybe
this place is undiscovered.”  The Savior tried, but not even he seemed to
believe it.  “Like Robinson Crusoe or something.”

“Undiscovered?! 
It had to be close enough to the path of our cruise that you and I
swam
to
it.  How could it possibly be undiscovered?”

“So
it’s gotta be Aruba then.  Just like I said.”

“No,
it’s
not
fucking Aruba.”  Lucy leaned closer to him and lowered her
voice.  “Something is
wrong
, Warren.”

His
eyebrows drew together.  “Like more ‘wrong’ than us sinking and getting
kidnapped by refugees from
Quest for Fire?
  Because how much more
‘wrong’ can…?”

She
cut him off, sounding almost frantic.  “Like these plants,” she pointed to the
um’nah
trees, “they don’t
exist.
 
That
kind of wrong.”

“You’re
goddamn crazy, you know that?”

“I
hope I
am
crazy, because the alternative leaves us in even deeper
trouble.”

“Hey,
at least I’m out of the tar pit, so…”  The Savior trailed off as he spotted Notan. 
“Super.  Who’s this Yoda guy now?”

The
chief came down from his cave, leaning heavily on his cane.  There was no
mistaking he was in charge.  The rest of the Clan moved aside so he could pass.

Notan
gave the gods the traditional blessings and praises of Clan, liberally
sprinkled with beseeching calls for mercy and benevolence.  It went on for a
while.  Even Rhawn was impressed with the eloquence of the oration.  He could
only imagine how long it had taken Notan to compose and memorize it.  He must have
been working on it for ages, anticipating this moment and how it would be
remembered for all time.

The
gods responded to the carefully worded speech with blank stares.

Notan
deflated in frustration.  “Rhawn, the Accursed.”  He wheezed, seeing that they
had no idea what he’d just said to them.  “You understand their sacred
language.  Translate my words.”

Rhawn
braced himself as everyone turned to look at his cell.

Instantly,
he felt the Destroyer’s attention fall on him.  She drew in a sharp breath,
like she was the one amazed.  Her green gaze met his and he lost all ability to
think.  No one else ever stared into his eyes.  It was like a physical touch.

How
could she be so evil and so…
perfect?

“Hi.” 
He said quietly.  It was the way she always greeted him in the dreams and he
saw her lips part in recognition.

The
Savior didn’t seem to hear the greeting.  He glanced at Lucy, then over at Rhawn,
and then back again.  “You know this shirtless giant, Moose-y?”

“I
dreamed of him.”  Her lips barely moved, all her attention on Rhawn.

The
Savior didn’t like that.  “You dream of half-naked criminals?  He’s all
locked-up in caveman jail!  Jesus, even you could do better.”  He sent Rhawn a
glare, his body shifting so it was closer to the Destroyer.  He placed a hand
on her arm, like he was trying to protect her.

Rhawn’s
gaze narrowed in response.  Did the Savior want Lucy for himself?  Rhawn’s
fingers tightened on the bars, wanting to drag the Savior away from her small
body.  This woman was his.

…Even
if she
was
evil.

For
her part, Lucy didn’t even seem to notice the other man.  Instead, she gazed at
Rhawn like he was a ghost.  Had she not known he really existed?  Wasn’t it her
who sent the dreams?

The
Savior glowered between them, as if he sensed Rhawn’s resolve and Lucy’s
confusion.  At a loss as to what to do, the other man settled for pointing a
finger at Rhawn.  “Dude, you leave her alone.”  He ordered.

Rhawn’s
jaw ticked.  He would not surrender Lucy to this man or any other.  Not without
a fight that left him victorious or dead.  It didn’t matter that the Savior was
a god, Lucy belonged to Rhawn and he would not give her up.

Ever.

“Rhawn,
have you done something to anger the Savior?”  Notan demanded, seeing the male deity’s
scowl.

“He
believes the Destroyer favors me.”  Rhawn answered, his eyes on the dark-haired
male god.  He disliked the Savior on sight, which just went to prove that his
soul really was lost.  Seeing the man’s hand on Lucy’s arm caused Rhawn’s jaw
to clench.  “He is… displeased.”

The
Clan began murmuring amongst themselves.  No one seemed very surprised that the
Destroyer would single him out or that the Savior would despise him for it. 
Rhawn
did
have “Accursed” after his name, after all.

“Now,
what are they jabbering about?”  The Savior demanded.

“Say
something to fix this, you fool.”  Notan snapped at Rhawn.  “The Savior is the
only one who can help us and you’ve already angered him!  Repeat each word of my
speech, so he knows of our humble thanks and obedience.”

Rhawn
barely glanced his way, his attention on Lucy.  “You’ve locked me in this cage
because you think I’m cursed.  What makes you think I will help any of you?”

“You’ll
help us or we’ll kill you right now!”  Skoll bellowed back.

Rhawn
snorted.  “If you planned to kill me, you would have done it long ago.  You’re too
afraid of what you might unleash.  What if I am in league with the darkness?”