(Once) Again (17 page)

I was finally back behind the wheel of my truck and it felt great. Kat was at work and I had big plans for us. Ever since the night the cops showed, Bryan hadn’t been back. Unless he’d gotten more creative in his spying methods.

I liked to think the cops had scared him off. Every night a little after midnight, cops patrolled the area and sat in front of the house for an hour.

During the day, if I couldn’t check on Kat because of PT, Darren would. I was happy she had him. I felt better knowing there was someone else who cared enough about her to do anything he could to protect her.

She was working two shifts today, despite my objections. I swore she would do anything to defy me. But she insisted she wanted the work while she could get it. She needed the money. Though technically she didn’t, because I had some of her bills, which she didn’t know yet. I guess if she knew that, it would make a difference, but I refused to tell her.

The girl was damn stubborn, and I didn’t want her to yell at me for helping. Her house could be on the auction block, and she’d still deny help.

I had a few hours before she would be home, so I went back to my parents’ house to pick up a few things.

“Look who it is!” Mom said when I walked through the door. “I almost forgot I had a son.”

I gave her a big hug. “Sorry, I’ve been busy.”

Mom nodded. “Mhm. I bet you have.”

“It’s more than that, Mom.”

“I know, sweetie. I just miss you, that’s all.”

“Just pretend I’m back at school.”

“Speaking of school, are you planning on going back?”

“I haven’t thought much about it. This semester is practically over, so I have the summer to decide. I was thinking of looking into Farmingdale State. It’s not too far. I can keep an eye on Liz for you too.”

Going back to Springfield would have been great. I missed my friends. The parties. But there were too many ghosts there. Not to mention that if I didn’t fully recover enough to play ball, I’d lose my scholarship.

Even if I could figure out a way to get past my demons and take out student loans, there was still one big problem: Kat wouldn’t be there. I’d be willing to drive home every weekend to see her, but it wasn’t enough.

“It would be nice to have both my babies close to home. But whatever you decide, we will support you.”

“I know. Thanks, Mom. Hey do you still have that old blanket I used to take to the beach back in high school?”

“It’s in the hallway closet. Planning on going to the beach?”

“I thought I’d surprise Kat with dinner down by the shore.”

“I’m sure she’ll love it. I’m going to make myself a sandwich. Do you want one?”

Kat was probably on her way to her second shift. I had time. “Why not? That sounds awesome.”

There was a knock on the door and I walked over to it. Kat stood there with a pissed-off look on her face, holding a bunch of papers.

“Hey, Kit Kat,” I said.

“Don’t you Kit Kat me.”

“You don’t like it when I call you Kit Kat?”

“Did you honestly think I wouldn’t find out? Did you think you’d get away with this?” she yelled. I had no idea what she was talking about until she smacked the papers into my chest.

I took them into my hands. They were bill statements marked paid. Copies of checks with my name on them. Shit.

“I don’t need you paying my bills. I can pay my own goddamn bills.”

“I never said you couldn’t, but they were piling up. I thought I’d help you catch up.”

“I didn’t ask for your help. Despite what you may think, I don’t need it. You left. Remember? I put my brother through senior year and helped him get into college. For two years I’ve paid my own bills. I didn’t need help then, and I don’t need help now.”

“Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” I stepped towards her. “Kat.” I reached out to her, but she snapped her arm back.

“You can’t just swoop in and start changing things,” she yelled, tears falling down her face.

This wasn’t just about the bills. It was about painting her mother’s room without asking her. Trying to force her to move on and put the past behind her, when clearly she wasn’t ready to let her mom go.

I wasn’t trying to make her forget her mom. I just wanted her to start living her own life. Put the suffering behind her.

“I’m not Nia.” Her words hit me like a brick wall. If I didn’t have my cane to hold me in place, I would’ve stumbled back.

“What does Nia have to do with anything?”

“I don’t need you to save me.”

Frustration mixed with sadness. Words were lost. I couldn’t wrap my brain around a single thought.

Kat stepped backwards. Instinctively, I moved towards her.

“Don’t follow me,” she said and slammed the door in my face.

I didn’t think she’d be ecstatic about me paying her bills, but I never would’ve thought she’d react like this. She had so many things to worry about, I just wanted to help lessen the burden.

My hand reached for the doorknob.

“Let her go, Josh. She needs to cool off,” Mom said behind me.

“But—”

“Trust me on this one, okay?”

I nodded. So much for my romantic night under the stars.

***

I called Darren, but he told me to give Kat space. She’d come around. I didn’t want to give her space. I wanted to know she was okay. Safe. But most of all, I just wanted her to realize it was okay to let people help you.

And yeah, I might’ve gone about it the wrong way, but I knew she would refuse my help, and I was sick of seeing the tension in her face whenever she had to buy something. She shouldn’t have had to worry so much about money. Besides, I’d made a fortune as Hunky Handyman. I could afford a couple thousand dollars.

By ten o’clock I couldn’t wait for her to get over it any longer. I needed to see her. Talk some sense into her.

I ignored Mom’s requests to give her more time and hopped into my truck. Kat got to say what she wanted, but I didn’t get to say a damn word. She needed to hear my side. She needed to know that the only reason I did it was because I loved her.

I rolled the windows down and enjoyed the feel of the warm spring air going through my hair. It had been so long since I’d been in the driver’s seat. I’d forgotten how much I missed the simplest things.

Kat’s street came into view, and I put my blinker on. As I turned, I spotted the black Civic and my stomach twisted into knots. Darren wasn’t with her. He was working the late shift.

My heart pounded against my chest. Horrible thoughts flooded my mind. Adrenaline and fear pumped through me.

I clicked off my headlights and eased my truck to the curb. I fumbled in my pocket and pulled out my cell. My hands shook, but I kept them as steady as possible, dialing as quickly as I could.

The phone rang once before the operator picked up. “What is your emergency?”

“Hi, I’m at 1333 Spruce Drive. My girlfriend has a restraining order against a guy who attacked her and he’s . . . .he’s here.”

“Is he inside the home?”

I swallowed down the lump in my throat. I couldn’t see the car clearly enough to know. Kat was inside though. Alone. And that beast was here somewhere.

I slid out of my truck and eased the door shut. “I don’t know. Can you please just send someone? Now.”

“I’ll send a patrolman over immediately.”

“Thank you.” I hung up and moved towards the car, hoping if he saw me, he would pull away.

Bile rose into my throat, burning its way into my mouth. He wasn’t in there. The officer had told me not to take things into my own hands, but fuck it. Kat was inside and that . . . that monster was in there with her.

I just hoped I wasn’t too late. Oh god. I couldn’t even think it.

I was in that hallway all over again. Fear consumed me, making all rational thoughts impossible. The outcome couldn’t be the same. I wouldn’t let it. I lost Nia. I wasn’t going to lose Kat. I couldn’t. Life wouldn’t be worth living if she wasn’t here to share it with.

The door was unlocked. I took a deep breath and very quietly pushed it open. My heart pounded against my chest, feeling like it would break through my ribs. I stepped into the den. Kat’s word search puzzle books littered the floor. The picture frame holding the photo of her and her family was shattered. The blanket I’d draped over her only days ago was strewn across the carpet.

My fists balled. Anger and fear raced through me. I heard a loud thump and tension pulled tight across my shoulders.

Kat.

I moved towards the bedroom and just as I was about to turn the corner my eyes locked with the familiar blue of Kat’s.

He held a gun to her temple, his hand wrapped around her mouth. Tears streamed down her cheeks. The pocket on her Mickey Mouse scrubs was in tatters. I couldn’t breathe. He had her life in his hands and with one single shot she’d be gone.

Frozen, I met his gaze. I debated talking, but the malevolence in his eyes was too dominant, and unlike Steve, there was no soul left to reason with. His grip tightened on Kat and her body went rigid.

His eyes burned red, sweat beaded on his forehead, matting his brown hair across it, and his lip lifted in a snarl.

He towered over Kat, and was a few inches taller than me. The black T-shirt he wore had a hole just above the bulge of his stomach.

I took my eyes from his and stared into Kat’s, ignoring the beast holding her against him. I needed her to focus on a way to save her life. I always wondered why I’d survived that day in the hallway, and now I knew.

I outsmarted death once, but now it was my time.

The gun turned to me.

There was no pleading this time. No fear. I accepted my fate. My only regret would be Kat witnessing it. I only hoped in time she’d be able to forget.

I looked into her big beautiful eyes and mouthed, “I love you,” just as I heard the click of the gun engaging.

Bang.

Most people go their whole lives never knowing what it feels like to look death in the eye. I envy those people. They’ll never know the fear. The regrets. The desperate want of a single chance to do it all over again. To try to change the outcome.

In a way, I was given that chance. I couldn’t save Nia. But Kat survived.

Blood splattered across Kat’s face, and Bryan went down. A single bullet to the head. Frozen in shock, I didn’t even turn to see who put it there.

Kat’s scream knocked me out of my trance, and I ran to her. She fell into my arms and I grabbed the sides of her face, looking for bruises, cuts, any kinds of markings that didn’t belong there. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

She shook her head and pulled at my shirt. I cradled her against me. Her body quivered in fear, and I stroked her hair, repeating over and over, “It’s okay. I’m here.”

I guided Kat over to the couch and I pulled my shirt over my head to wipe the blood from her face. She climbed into my lap, her arms linked tightly around my neck.

“We’re going to need to get statements from the both of you,” an officer said, holding a pen, ready to write. These people didn’t waste any time, did they?

Kat nuzzled into me more, shaking her head. Her hands tightened around my neck and I glanced over the officer’s shoulder to the older officer from that first night. The look on my face must’ve been enough. Officer Sully walked over and patted the younger man on the back.

“Why don’t you give them a minute?” Sully said.

“You shouldn’t be talking to them until we get both their statements,” the officer said to Sully.

Sully said something in his ear and the officer nodded and walked away.

“Are you guys okay?” Sully asked, kneeling down beside us.

I nodded.

“I told you we’d keep her safe.”

“Thank you,” I said.

“Are you going to get in trouble?” I asked. He hadn’t given Bryan a chance to surrender.

“He engaged his weapon. It’ll be a ton of extra paperwork and I’ll be on desk duty for a while, but she’ll never have to worry about him again.”

I nodded, and the officer smiled before going back to his superior.

“Is he dead?” Kat sniffed.

“Like Sully said, you’ll never have to deal with him again. You’re free.”

“He was going to kill you,” she said. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you. I’m so sorry I yelled at you.”

“Shh. I’m just happy I didn’t listen to you or my mother. I can’t even imagine if I had. I could’ve lost you. Are you sure you’re okay?” I took her face back in my hands and studied every freckle.

“He didn’t touch me. He came in the den and I fought him off. I tried to run into the bedroom and lock the door, but he kicked it open.” I cringed at the scene playing out in my mind. “Darren would be proud of me. He taught me all the moves. But Bryan grabbed me and had me pinned face down on the bed. Then he heard the front door open and ripped me up by my hair and pointed the gun at my head.”

If I’d been a second later . . . I shook my head to rid the thought from my mind. There were no what ifs this time. I wasn’t too late. I made it. Kat was safe. She was warm—except for her hands— in my arms, and other than the tears on her cheeks and the fear in her heart, she was fine.

A few minutes later, we gave our statements. Cops and crime scene investigators walked in and out of the house. The body was covered by a black tarp before they finally took it out in a body bag. Every time the door opened, blue and red lights bounced off the walls.

Sully came back over to us, holding a notebook. “I have a few more questions for you and then you can go home.”

“I am home,” Kat said.

“Tonight, you’ll go to my home,” I said and kissed her temple.

“Did you guys take a road trip recently?”

“Yeah why?”

“Where’d you go?”

“Back to Springfield. To my college and to see someone nearby.”

Sully held up the notebook. “It looks like he was following you. He has a record of all the places you stopped with the dates and times.”

Kat’s eyes widened and she squeezed my hand.

I turned towards the men’s room and bumped into a guy who had at least three inches on me. He was in desperate need of a shower and a shave. Long car rides would do that to you.

“Watch it,” the guy said.

“Oh my god. I bumped into him at the rest stop.”

“What are you talking about?” Kat asked.

“You were mad at me and stormed into the rest stop and I went in and I bumped into this guy who was a real jerk. It was him.”

Kat slumped against the couch. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. I don’t know how I didn’t realize it until now. What the fuck!”

My privacy felt violated in the worst way. Was he there when Kat and I walked home from the frat party? Did he hear her sing to me? Holy shit, was he at the party hoping I’d leave Kat’s side for even a second?

I was the one shaking now, but not with fear. The fear was gone.

I bit down on my cheek to keep from screaming. My hands curled into fists, and I tried to push away the rage surging through me. Kat slid her cool fingers over my hand and the tension began to dissolve.

“It’s over,” she whispered. “It’s over now.”

I held my hand up and she laced her fingers through mine. I kissed her knuckles and said, “Can we get out of here now?”

“You’re free to go,” Sully said.

“Would I be able to grab a few things for the night?” I asked.

“From where?”

I pointed. “The bedroom, right there.”

Sully glanced over his shoulder and nodded. “You’re lucky. If he was shot ten feet in the other direction I wouldn’t be able to get you in there. Hang on.”

“Stay here. I’ll be right back,” I said to Kat and stood from the couch.

“Medino,” Sully called to a short, stocky officer in the corner. He walked over. “Can you escort this gentleman to the bedroom so he can grab a few things?”

Medino nodded.

Investigators surrounded a puddle of blood to our far left. I wondered if Kat would let me sand the floors and stain them. I’d get Justin to help me. Teach him a few things. If not, we were going to have a reminder of tonight every time we walked to the bedroom because I knew damn well she’d never sell her parents’ home.

I approached the room, and my eyes settled on the bed. I snapped them away when visions of that sick bastard ripping Kat up by her hair and pointing a gun at her head popped into my mind.

I grabbed the duffel and Medino held up his hand. “You can’t take the bag. Get what you need out of it.”

I took out our clothes and left the towels behind. I had some in the truck. We needed the toiletries so I wrapped them in a shirt and placed them on top of the other clothes.

Medino stood with his arms crossed in the doorway, watching my every move. “I’m good,” I said, walking towards him. He stood aside to let me by. “Thanks.”

Kat was on the couch, her legs pulled into her chest. Tears stained her cheeks and by the blank gaze in her eyes, I knew she was going over the attack in her head. I also knew, that there was nothing I could do to make the visions go away.

“You ready?” I asked.

“That was fast,” Kat said, eyeing the clothes in my arms.

“I packed it this morning after you left. I had plans for tonight.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry. I still have plans for tonight. Come on. I’m driving.”

Sully said the crime scene investigators would be there for a few more hours and would lock up when they left.

Kat called Darren and gave him a rundown of what happened, assuring him she was fine and in good hands. Then she called Justin. I called my parents and my sister to let them know before they heard it on the news.

Mom wanted us to go straight to her house. But I convinced her we were safe and just needed a night to ourselves.

“Where are we going?” Kat asked.

She still had blood streaked on her face, and I just wanted to get it off. Rid her of all the evil. I wished I would’ve booked a hotel room instead. But Kat and I didn’t do hotel rooms. We spent our nights in the back of my pickup on the beach, and that’s exactly what we were going to do tonight.

I turned onto the familiar path to our spot and her teeth slid over her bottom lip, a smile tugging at the corners. Her hand cupped mine over the gear shift.

I took it slow on the rugged path and pulled off when we reached the end. I grabbed the shampoo and took her hand in mine.

I led her out onto the beach. The sand made it even harder to walk, but I didn’t think about that. I thought about getting to the water.

“Let’s clean you up,” I said as we crossed over to the damp sand.

“That water is going to be freezing.”

“I’ll keep you warm.”

She cocked an eyebrow at me and shook her head. “Not happening.”

“Kat, you still have . . . you still have blood on you.”

Her eyes widened, and she stripped out of her clothes right down to her underwear without even a second glance of our surroundings. “I don’t want any of him on me. Get it off.”

“I will. We’ll be fast.” I tugged my shirt over my head and let my pants fall to the ground. I took her hand and guided her to the water.

I took a sharp inhale of breath as the cold water splashed my feet. I ignored the temperature and focused on Kat.

She let out a squeal when the water reached her and did a little dance. I grabbed her, pulling her to me.

“Wait. Should you be going in the water with your wound?” she asked.

“You tell me. You’re the professional. I’m just the patient.” I was happy she was able to think about something other than what just happened. She would be okay.

“It’s scabbed over, finally. I think you’ll be fine.”

Her body shuddered against mine and I took her face in my hands. “On the count of three, we’re going under.” I kissed her gently then let my hands fall to hers. I squeezed her hand and with my other counted off. “One. Two. Three.” We took a deep breath and went down.

We both emerged. Goosebumps covered her skin, so I rubbed my hand up and down her arm before holding her close. Her teeth chattered against my chest, and I tightened my arms around her. I kissed her forehead, then took the shampoo I’d brought and squirted a half dollar amount in my hand.

My fingers ran through her hair, suds forming beneath my touch. I massaged my fingertips into her scalp. Her head fell back and I kissed her neck.

I rubbed small circles around her hairline, making sure not to miss a single strand. When I was confident there was no blood left, I looked into her eyes. “On the count of three. One. Two. Three.” On three we both went down.

We resurfaced, and I turned her around to make sure all the suds were gone. Her body quivered as I took the soap and rubbed it into her shoulders, down her back, and over the curve of her breasts.

Kat held her hand out and I squirted some into her hand. She turned and ran her hand down my chest and back up to my shoulder blades, around to my back and up to my neck.

“One. Two. Three.” We went down a third time and when she popped back up to the surface, I took her in my arms. She linked her arms around my neck, and I placed my hand on her ass, pushing her up. Her legs wrapped around my waist, and we made our way to the shore.

When we were out of the water, I stopped and buried my head into her neck. I kissed her shoulder and then the spot below her earlobe. “I love you so much,” I said against her ear, and she rubbed her cheek on mine.

“I love you. I’m so sorry for everything.”

I laced my fingers through her hair, pulling it out of her face. “Don’t be. It’s all in the past now.”

Kat shivered, and I tugged her towards the truck. “Leave the clothes. I’ll salvage what I can in the morning and toss the rest.”

She smiled and pressed against my side. We walked back to the pickup truck, and I grabbed two towels from the bedbox. I wrapped one around my waist and the other one around Kat before running my hands up and down her arms to warm her up.

When the droplets had mostly absorbed into the towel, I took her hand and brought her to the truck. I pulled out a T-shirt and a pair of shorts and helped her into them. Then I grabbed her by the hips and hoisted her onto the bed of the pickup, making sure to keep all my weight on my good leg.

I dusted her feet clean of sand and jumped up beside her and did the same to my own. “Stay here. Don’t turn around until I tell you to,” I said, and left her facing the water while I went to the bedbox and retrieved all the blankets and pillows I had stashed earlier.

“What are you doing?” she asked and started to turn towards me.

“Not yet. Patience.”

I set the last blanket in place and moved to Kat, resting my hands on her shoulders. I couldn’t resist the urge to kiss her neck. Feel her skin beneath mine. Smell her cotton candy scent and look into those beautiful eyes.

She turned and when her eyes settled on the bed behind us she leaped into my arms, knocking me over. My back hit the softness of the pillows and her cold hands rested against my chest. I trembled at her touch, but as cold as it was, it was the warmest I had ever felt.

Having Kat in my arms, especially after what had transpired, was a miracle. Thinking back to that day when we ended things and all that lost time in between made me want to make up for every second.

We had gone through more than any two people should ever have to endure. But we were stronger because of it. I knew if I ever felt weak, Kat would be my strength, as I would always be hers.

I propped my head against a pillow and tucked Kat close to me. A warm tear fell on my chest, and Kat began to shake. “Don’t cry,” I said, cradling her head against me. I leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“I . . . I almost lost you.”

“But you didn’t. I’m right here.”

“I’m so sorry I threw Nia in your face.” Kat sat up and shook her head. “I never should’ve said that. I don’t know why I did. I just . . . I was so mad. But after tonight, I know what you went through that day. The fear. The regrets. All these emotions you just can’t put into words.”

She broke down. Uncontrollable sobs racked her body. “I’m so sorry I made you experience that again.”