Once a Cowboy (15 page)

Leaning back against the tree, he opened the crackers and handed her one. She munched on it and just enjoyed the serenity of the outdoors…and Brodie. Sweat rolled down her back and saturated her waistline. She didn’t care. She’d never been so happy in her life.

“Is it always this quiet?”

“Pretty much. Unless we’re herding cattle—then things get lively.”

They sat together for a while in a comfortable silence. The horses munched on grass and the dogs lay in the shade.

“You haven’t said much about yesterday,” she finally said.

He plucked a blade of grass. “Not much to say. I’m just glad it’s over.”

“Are you still having conflicting thoughts?”

“I buried Brodie Hayes yesterday. Now I’m trying to figure out who I’m supposed to be.”

She took a deep breath. “You probably won’t be able to do that until you speak with the Braxtons.”

He didn’t offer a protest like he usually did. He just stared off to the landscape.

So she plunged in. “Their names are George and Helen and you were their firstborn. You’re named after him—George Travis Junior. Maggie, your sister, has
two children, Amber and Cody. Cody’s excited that his uncle is Brodie Hayes. I believe he loves rodeos.”

Brodie didn’t speak or try to stop her, so she continued. “The Braxtons have had a lot of heartache in their lives. They had two other sons, Will and Wesley, who both died. Will drowned when he was nineteen, and Wes died just last year in a car accident. George sank into deep depression after that, which is part of the reason I think Helen began her search for you again in earnest. Seeing your photo in the paper fueled her hopes. You’re her only remaining son. She needed a miracle to save her sanity, her family. And she got one.”

Brodie remained silent.

“George and Helen raise cutting horses in Weatherford. Or at least they used to. When Wes died, George sold all the horses except a few. He had no desire to continue working or living. They live on a ranch that’s been in the family for years, but now it’s in dire neglect. They…”

Brodie jumped up and grabbed the reins of his horse. “I need to check some fences.”

He swung into the saddle and she quickly followed. He wasn’t getting away from her. They rode until Alex was one big sweat gland and her body ached all over.

Brodie’s face was set, his jaw clenched. She could see the muscle working in his neck and she knew he was trying to deal with everything she’d told him.

They kept riding, stopping only for water. And she began to wonder if he would ever tire. As the sun began to sink in the west, Brodie made his way back to the creek.

“I forgot the blanket,” he said.

She dismounted with a moan and fell prone on her
stomach to the blanket. “I’m sorry, but I need a minute.” She might be a wimp, but she’d kept pace with him as long as she could.

He squatted and began to remove her sneakers.

She flipped over. “What…”

“The creek water is cool. It’ll rejuvenate you.”

“That might take more than cool water.”

He effortlessly slipped off his boots and removed his socks. Rolling up his jeans, he said, “Come on.”

She quickly shed her shoes and socks. The ground was hard and dry beneath her feet, but the water was oh, so cool. Even the mud squishing between her toes felt wonderful.

“This is heavenly. I want to submerge my whole body.”

“Go ahead. The water is deeper over here.”

It was almost twilight and the place was in the middle of nowhere. What the hell. She removed her clothes and threw them on the bank. Brodie did the same. Together they sank beneath the cool surface.

They came up laughing and splashing each other. The tension of the day seemed to melt away. After a moment Brodie swung her up in his arms and carried her to the blanket. He fished a condom out of his jeans and she burst out laughing, kissing his dimple, his neck, his chest and lower.

They made slow, sweet love and the experience was better than the night before. Maybe it was the night, the heat or just the two of them needing each other.

Later they dressed and sat together, his arms locked around her. He nuzzled her hair. “Call the Braxtons. I’ll meet them.”

Alex could hardly contain her excitement. It had been a difficult decision, but she knew he’d made the right one.

That night she gave him the baby rattle. He stared at it a long time, then put it away in a drawer. He didn’t say anything and she didn’t press for a response.

At dawn she left to make the arrangements. She gave him a long kiss, knowing their special time had come to an end. She also knew it wasn’t really an end, but a new beginning.

Buck was drinking coffee and reading the paper when she came through the door. He laid it down when he saw her.

“You just now gettin’ home?”

She needed her own place—desperately.

“Yes, Buck, and good morning to you, too.”

He frowned. “What’s wrong with your hair?”

“It got wet.” She’d washed it in Brodie’s shower, but he didn’t give her time to do anything with it. It hung in rattails around her face.

“It hasn’t rained.”

She rolled her eyes. “I have to change.”

“You helping with the Davis case today?” he called after her.

“Probably not.”

“Girl…”

After slamming her door, she didn’t hear anything else. She picked up the phone and called the Braxtons. They were ecstatic, just as she knew they would be. She arranged a meeting for one o’clock. This was a new beginning for the Braxtons and Brodie. She prayed it went well.

In thirty minutes she was back in the kitchen. Buck was still at the table.

“You need to do something about Naddy.”

She poured a cup of coffee. “Why?”

“She’s making plans for that money, even though she hasn’t gotten it yet.”

“There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“She ordered a hot tub and the company was all set to deliver it. I canceled the damn order. And she’s trying to trade in the Buick. The last thing she needs is a faster car. The old bat is losing her mind.”

As she sipped her coffee, Alex wondered what Buck was so afraid of. There was a definite tone of fear in his voice. Then it hit her. He liked having Naddy under his thumb. It was the way things had always been between them and he was afraid of change. And he was afraid of losing his mother. Or maybe she had her rose-colored glasses on this morning. Or it could be that she was in love and she now saw the world differently.

“I’ll talk to Naddy.”

“Did I hear my name?” Naddy walked in looking like
something out of a scary movie. Her hair stuck out in all directions and her makeup was smeared, her eyeliner running in trails down her cheeks. Evidently she’d gone out shopping yesterday and had forgotten to remove her war paint.

Naddy pointed a finger at Buck. “You can badmouth me all you want, but I’m gettin’ a hot tub.”

“Not on my patio.” He slapped the paper onto the table. “The last thing the neighbors need is to see you in a bathing suit.”

Naddy placed her hands on her hips. “Who said I was going to wear one?”

Buck’s mouth fell open and Alex set down her cup. “I’m outta here.” She kissed Naddy’s cheek. “Wash your face. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Alex smiled all the way to her car. Backing out of the drive, she made a decision. It was time to stop telling herself to get a life and to get one. She stopped at a real estate office and asked to see some apartments.

Within the hour, she’d signed a lease. The agent kept trying to show her more apartments, but she liked the third one she looked at—a two-bedroom on a ground floor with a view of a large pool. The apartments were new and the extra bedroom would be nice if Buck kicked Naddy out. The pool might take her mind off the hot tub.

She immediately recognized what she was doing with that thought—clinging to those ties of family. But she would never abandon Naddy.

She stopped for a quick bite and wondered what Brodie was doing. Even though he was nervous, he
wouldn’t back out of the meeting. She couldn’t wait to see him. They’d been apart too long.

As she parked her Jeep in her spot, she noticed his truck was already there. Why was he so early? The Braxtons weren’t due for another thirty minutes. Maybe he missed her, too.

She hurried inside and found him pacing in her office. “Hi,” she said, throwing her purse on her desk. “You’re early.” She went into his arms and he gripped her tightly.

“Thought I’d have a few minutes with you first.”

She drew back. “These people have been waiting forever to see you. Just relax.”

“I hope they don’t expect too much. I’m just trying to get through this.”

“Brodie…”

They heard the front door open. The Braxtons were early, too. Brodie stiffened and she didn’t know how to help him. She gave him a quick kiss then went to meet the Braxtons.

“Is he here?” Helen asked, eager as a child.

“Yes. He’s in my office. Let’s just take it slow.”

B
RODIE WAITED
with his breath wedged in his throat like a piece of barbed wire. After hearing their story, he couldn’t in good conscience continue to refuse to see them. They were victims in this drama, just as he was.

An older woman of medium height with graying brown hair and green eyes came in first. A man and younger woman stood behind her. Tears filled the woman’s eyes when she saw him.

“You’re my son.”

He removed his hat. “I believe so, ma’am.”

“This is your father, George, and your sister, Maggie.”

“Nice to meet you.” The knot in his stomach was so tight he had trouble breathing.

George stepped forward. “I thought I’d never live to see this day. You’re my boy. The one who was stolen from the hospital.”

“Yes, sir,” Brodie replied, staring at the gray-haired man. He saw his own features reflected in the man’s face and he knew that in the years ahead, he would look just like this man—his father. It was a startling revelation.

Something clicked in his head and the link that tied him to Thomas and Claudia Hayes weakened. The Braxtons were real. Their blood ran through his veins. He was on the verge of finding a part of himself—the part that had been missing for so many years.

“Did Alex give you the baby rattle?” Helen asked.

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I’ve had it since you were born.”

Brodie didn’t know what to say. When Alex had given it to him, it had meant nothing and he felt bad about that. But seeing the hope in Helen’s eyes he knew it meant a lot to her.

“I always wondered what you looked like,” Helen went on. “You look the same as George as a young man.”

“People said I looked like my father, Thomas Hayes.” The words came out before he could stop them.

“He’s not your father,” George shouted.

Maggie clutched his arm. “Dad, please.”

“I’m sorry,” George apologized. “I’m a little emotional.”

“I am, too,” Brodie said. “And I’m feeling overwhelmed so please give me time to adjust.”

“Sure.” Helen walked closer. “We know that you’re grown, but we just want to be a part of your life.”

“I’m not sure what that is at the moment.”

“Mom, Dad, I think we need to go,” Maggie said.

“Okay.” But Helen hesitated. “Maybe you’ll come for Sunday dinner. I make a pot roast that all my kids love.”

“I’ll think about it,” was all he could say. He saw the hurt in her eyes, but he felt powerless to change that. He needed to do things at his own pace.

Maggie scribbled something on a piece of paper and handed it to him. “Here are our phone numbers and address, just in case you feel the need to visit.”

“Thank you.”

Helen looked at him. “Do you mind if I hug you?”

He swallowed hard, knowing if she touched him, it would change him forever. But he felt powerless to stop that, too.

“No,” he muttered.

Her arms went around his waist and she clung to him, his shirt soaking up her tears.

“Mom.” Maggie gently pulled her away.

The trio walked out and he had to take several deep breaths. Alex moved toward him and he gripped her with arms that trembled.

“It went well,” she said.

He drew back. “I have to get out of here.” He fled from the office.

“Brodie.” Alex ran after him, but the white truck was already backing out. She would let him go—for now.

Buck walked in with a box of files. “Close the door,” he ordered. “You’re letting out all the cool air.”

She closed the door with a sinking feeling in her stomach.

“I need your help with these files,” Buck said. “So park your butt in a chair and get to work.”

She spent the rest of the afternoon helping Buck on the Davis case, but her thoughts were never far from Brodie.

B
RODIE DID WHAT
he always did when the world closed in on him. He saddled up. When he rode, there were no doubts, no insecurities. He was in control completely and he needed to feel that way today—to have some sort of reality.

But as hard as he rode, he couldn’t escape the reality he’d met today—his biological parents. The pain and grief in their eyes was impossible to ignore. That was his fault—he was the cause of that pain.

As the sun sank in the distant horizon, he made his way back to the barn, letting Jax take his time. He couldn’t outride the demons chasing him. He had to face them.

In the barn, he unsaddled his horse and rubbed him down. Opening the gate to the pasture, he saw headlights coming down the road. He knew who it was. Alex.

He quickly strolled toward the house and she met him halfway. “How are you?” she asked.

“I’d feel a lot better with my arms around you.”

“You got it, cowboy.” She went into his arms and he held her tight, loving the lavender scent of her hair, the
softness of her body. But most of all he just loved…He stilled as the truth made itself known.
He loved her.
The realization was overwhelming. This was something he never thought would happen to him. His love had grown out of her caring and loving nature. But was it real? Or was it something he needed to cling to because of all of the problems in his life?

What was he doing?
He had no right to drag her into his messed up world.

“Brodie?” She looked up at him.

He should end it now before she got hurt. He had nothing to offer her, not even a name. But she’d asked nothing of him and he found he couldn’t do the right thing. He still needed her. He might hate himself in the morning, but tonight he was going to love her like there was no tomorrow.

He looped an arm around her waist and they walked to the house. Inside he took her into his arms and kissed her with a hunger he didn’t disguise, then he led her to the bedroom.

T
HEIR LOVEMAKING
was intense and wild, born out of a need to find comfort in each other. A long time later their sweat-bathed bodies lay entwined. Alex was relaxed and sated to the point that all she wanted to do was sleep. But they had to talk.

She rose to a sitting position. “Feel better?”

“Yep.” He reached up to touch her breast. “Your kisses are better than the kick I get from that first cup of coffee in the morning. And making love with you is better than any eight-second ride I’ve ever accomplished.”

“Wow. Those are some powerful words.”

“I mean them.”

As much as she wanted to get lost in what he was saying, she couldn’t. There were so many things they needed to discuss.

She stroked his chest. “Let’s talk.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Please. For me.”

He turned onto his side, his head propped in his hand. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Today.”

“Today I saw all their pain. It was almost more than I could stomach, but I just couldn’t undo forty years. I couldn’t be their son.”

“It will take time.”

“I’m not so sure I’ll ever be ready to be their son.”

She curled her legs beneath her, trying to figure out what was really bothering him. Then she knew what it was.

“It’s all right to be angry.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s all right to be angry with Claudia. Ever since you found out you haven’t allowed yourself to be angry at her.”

“Didn’t see the need.”

“But you’re angry. Admit it.”

He scooted up to the headboard, but didn’t say anything.

“Admit that you’re angry.”

“Okay,” he snapped. “I’m angry. She took me out of that hospital uncaring about what she was doing to me and that family. She just wanted a child because she knew Thomas would blame her for the death of his son.
For years I lived with a knot in my gut because I couldn’t be the son they wanted me to be. Finally, I couldn’t take the pressure anymore and I bolted for some peace of mind.” He dragged his hands over his face. “How could she do that to me? To that family?”