On the Outside Looking In (Wrong Reasons) (7 page)

Laughing, Owen Masters moved to the stool next to me.  “You’re cute, Morgan.  I miss you.”

“You don’t miss me,” I said, staring at the light board behind the bar, advertising the specials.  “You miss playing games with me and my friends.”

“Friends?” he asked, twisting his stool so that his back rested against the bar.  He clutched a short glass in his right hand, swirling it so that the ice clinked together.

“Yes, friends.”

Chuckling, he winked at me.  “You don’t have friends, Morgan, remember?  Irelyn and Bailey are not your friends.”

“Yes, they are,” I said, wincing.  I sounded like a first grader.

“Whatever you say, sweet thing,” he said, reaching out to caress my cheek.

I jerked my face away from his touch, repulsed by the mere sight of him.

“Don’t touch her.”

Owen turned toward the bar, his leering face a bit astonished.  “McNew?  What the fuck is your problem?  You doing her now?”

Skin flushed and brows dipped way low, Evan’s dark eyes focused solely on Owen.

“It’s obvious to me that she doesn’t want you to touch her.  So, leave her alone.”

Owen’s face broke into a grin as he glanced at me.  “Good luck to you, man.  She’s an icy bitch. 
Virginal. Saving her shit for Spencer Kelly, like he’d give up that piece of ass, Jessica.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks as I held my head up, not letting it fall.  I would not let Owen know that he’d degraded me again.

“You’re a shit, Masters,” Evan said, his fists resting on the bar, ready for action. “Why the hell are you hanging out here, anyway?”

Laughing, Owen twisted to face Evan fully. “It’s Ladies’ Night, my man.  I’m here for the ladies.”

Evan shifted slightly to grab a glass and fill it with diet soda.  He slid the glass in front of me, his eyes still on Owen.

“Come on, McNew,” Owen said with a laugh that didn’t reach his eyes.  “We’ve been friends for a long time.  Don’t let some…psycho whore… come between us.”

“She’s not a whore,” Evan said, his eyes narrowing.

Owen laughed as he set his glass on the bar.  “I get it, man.  You’re into her. 
All right.  It’s cool.”

Evan refilled Owen’s glass with vodka and a clear liquid.  He placed it in front of Owen, refusing his payment.  “Just leave Morgan alone.”

“Sure, man,” Owen said, picking up his drink and moving to the opposite end of the bar.

Releasing a breath, I lifted my soda and sipped it.

“I take it you know Owen,” Evan said, moving in front of me and crossing his arms over his chest.

“Unfortunately.”

Nodding, he reached under the bar and snatched a laminated menu, dropping it to the bar.  “He’s not as bad as he seems.”

“He’s horrible,” I said as I lifted the menu with slightly trembling hands.  I perused my choices even though my stomach rejected the thought of food.

“I’ve known Owen for a long time,” Evan explained, his eyes shooting to the end of the bar where Owen sat, conversing with two women who’d just entered.  “We used to hang out a lot until his mom fell into some cash and bought him a bar.”

“Yes, I’ve been in his bar,” I said as I set the menu down.

“Did you decide?”

“A cup of the vegetable soup,” I said.

“That’s all?” Evan asked.

I nodded.  Shrugging, Evan turned around to enter my order into a computer.  When he turned back, he stared at my face, unnerving me.

“So, did you know that he lost that bar?” Evan asked.

“No,” I said, sipping my soda. 
“Can’t say that I care.”

Snorting, Evan filled another glass with ice water.  He took a drink as he glanced at Owen again.  “Yeah, he’s a lousy businessman. 
Screwed up his taxes and sold dope and other drugs out of the back room.  I don’t even want to tell you what went on in the little rooms upstairs.”

I didn’t want to tell him that I already had a shrewd idea.

“Anyway, we stopped hanging out so much once he started the bar,” Evan said.  “He was always a jerk, but he’s gotten worse.”

I continued to drink my soda.  I didn’t want to talk about Owen Masters or my involvement with him.

He leaned over the bar, invading my space.  “Tell me that you didn’t date him.”

My heart beat a quick rhythm.  “I don’t want to talk about Owen.  He makes me ill.”

Evan continued to look into my eyes, even as a group of college guys settled onto the stools next to me.

Giving up, Evan moved away
to wait on his new customers. I took that moment to compose myself – get my emotions in check.  It was certainly none of Evan McNew’s business if I did date Owen and I didn’t need to explain anything to him.  But what if Owen decided to tell him about our short stint as a couple?  Would he exaggerate?  Would he outright lie?

My eyes shot to Owen who was engaged in conversation with the girls near him.  Maybe he’d become too preoccupied with the women and not talk to Evan about me. 

Evan placed a cup of soup in front of me, usual smile on his lips.  I blew across the cup, relieved for the moment.  Maybe I’d dodge this bullet.

As I opened a package of crackers, I paused.

Why did I even care?

Chapter Seven

Thursday evening, I sat behind the counter of Beans, Art History book open in front of me.  A hard, cold rain fell outside the big windows, keeping most people holed up in their cozy homes.  Every twenty minutes or so, a drenched customer would wander in for something warm to drink, but there was no mad rush for caffeine.  I snatched the opportunity to do a little reading as I was caught up on coursework.

I hadn’t spoken to Evan since my Ladies’ Night dinner at Rusty’s.  I hadn’t seen him lurking about the campus nor had he come in for plain coffee.  I wasn’t quite sure how I felt about it.  I worried that he’d had a nice long conversation with Owen, but I still couldn’t figure out why that concerned me.  Anyone who knew
Owen, knew what he was like.  And it wasn’t as if I was dating Evan.  I guess I just didn’t want my reputation smeared.

“What reputation?” I murmured as I flipped the page.  Sighing, I glanced at the clock.  Only fifteen minutes until I could close.  I hated working alone sometimes but as it was so slow, I’d sent Dante home early to study for an exam.

Just as I got up to pour myself a cup of cocoa, my cellphone buzzed.  I retrieved it from my bag under the counter and read Irelyn’s text.

Come by Bailey’s tonight if you can.

Wondering what it could be about, I shot off a quick reply, telling her I’d be there once I closed up shop.

Anxious for a quiet evening with my friends, I began my end of night duties early.  Once the clock hit closing time, I locked the doors, finished my chores, and headed straight for my car, not bothering to run upstairs to change or anything.

When I reached Bailey’s place, not only was Irelyn’s car there, but Spencer’s, too.  That more than likely meant that Jessica was there, taking my spot and gloating because she could hang off of Spencer’s arm and I couldn’t.

“Morgan,” Collin said when he answered the door.  “Cool.  Glad you could make it.”

“Thanks,” I said as I stepped inside, removing my coat and scarf.  Collin took them, tossing them on an empty chair before taking me by the hand and leading me to the kitchen. Once again, the usual gang was there, gathered around the table.  My heart leapt and fell at the sight of Spencer – and Jessica.

“Hey,” I said, sitting in the chair Lucas indicated.  “What’s going on?”

Collin slipped into the seat next to Bailey and draped an arm around her shoulders.

“Well,” Bailey said, hands wrapped around a mug of tea.  “We just wanted to tell you something.”

My heart picked up an extra beat.  I sent up a silent prayer, hoping that we wouldn’t rehash all that had happened over the summer.  No need to beat a dead horse.

Jessica’s wriggling attracted my attention.  She sat beside Spencer, smug look on her pretty face.  Her eyes met mine and I noticed a glint of triumph.

“What’s going on?” I asked again, a tad of anxiety leaking into my voice.  “Is everything okay?”

“We’ve been trying to keep something quiet for a while,” Bailey said.  “But, we figured it was time to tell.”

My eyes widened as I shoved my shaking hands under the table.  “Is something wrong?”

Bailey lifted her head, her eyes finding mine.  She smiled.  “I’m pregnant.”

Silence hung in the air for a brief moment before my heart heaved a relieved breath.  “Wow.  That’s great!” I said as I gave her a hug.  “Congratulations.”

“Thanks,” she
said, a touch of red in her cheeks.  “It wasn’t planned, but, well, it is what it is.”

Collin grinned as he stood up to accept my hug.  “Yeah, it was a surprise but I’m excited.  We both are.”

“When are you due?” I asked.

“May,” Bailey said.  “We’ve known for a couple of weeks but didn’t want to tell anyone yet.”

“I understand,” I said.  “I guess most people wait until they’re about three months before telling anyone.”

“We finally told our parents tonight,” Bailey said.

“What did they say?” I asked.

“My dad was shocked,” Bailey said with a smirk.  “But he finally came around.”

“My parents were happy,” Collin added as his eyes shot over my head to his twin.  “They want a wedding, though.”

“They’re getting one,” Lucas said.

Turning quickly, I looked at Irelyn who was fidgeting in her chair, her lips pressed together.  She stuck out her left arm, wiggling her fingers.  “Lucas and I are engaged!”

My eyes grew wider than a tire.  “Wow, a lot is happening!”

“We were holding off telling our folks about the baby,” Collin said.  “And then Lucas popped the question.  We told Mom and Dad about the baby and then Lucas told them about the engagement.”

“Smart plan,” I said, beaming.

“I am so glad that they finally told,” Jessica said, taking Spencer’s hand.  “I was so afraid that I’d slip and tell someone.”

I managed to keep the expression on my face, not letting it fall and reveal anything other than happiness.

“So, a baby in May,” I said, keeping my tone light.  “When’s the wedding?”

“We’re shooting for the end of June,” Irelyn said, reaching out to grab my hand.  “I want Bailey to be able to fit into a dress.”

I laughed, fighting a hurting heart.

“And,” Irelyn said, squeezing my hand.  “I want you to be in the wedding, too.”

Lifting my free hand, I covered our joined hands.  “Of course.  I’d be honored.”

“Great,” Lucas said, rising from his seat.  He opened the refrigerator and started passing out beers.  I took one even though I wasn’t crazy about the taste, and toasted the happy couples.

“I can’t wait to go dress shopping,” Jessica said, taking a long drink from her bottle.  “What are you thinking about, Irelyn? Any ideas?”

“No, not really,” Irelyn said.  “I haven’t really had time to think about it.”

“You will,” I said.  “You can start by checking out online – looking at different styles and colors.”

“I’ve got a bunch of bride magazines,” Jessica said. 
“From my sister’s wedding.  I’ll bring them to work tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Irelyn said.

“I have an entire file on my laptop,” Jessica continued.  “All sorts of notes and stuff about her wedding.  I’ll bring my laptop over one day and we can go through it.”

I refrained from rolling my eyes.  I didn’t want to bring any sort of negativity to the festivities.  Irelyn was as gleeful as I’d ever seen her and Bailey, despite the act, was positively radiant.

“And,” Jessica said, shifting her focus to Bailey.  “My sister’s best friend just had a baby.  My sister threw a shower for her.  I bet I can get stuff from my sister…”

“I’m not worrying about a shower at this moment,” Bailey said as she got up to refill her mug.  “It’s a little early for that.”

“Oh, okay,” Jessica said, slumping into Spencer.  He slid an arm around her.

Bailey returned to her seat, facing me.  “What have you been up to lately?  Seeing anyone?”

“No,” I said as a blush crept up my neck.  “I’ve just been working and studying.”

“Um,
hm,” Bailey said, biting back a smirk.  “Then who was that guy walking with you on campus the other day?  I saw him get into your car.”

My brow furrowed as I struggled to remember, finally realizing what she meant.  “Oh, you mean Evan.”

“Evan?” Irelyn asked, leaning forward.  “Does he go to Dunne-Browling?”

“No,” I said.  “He comes into Beans sometimes, that’s all.”

“Evan from Rusty’s?” Jessica asked, eyes narrowed.  “Evan McNew?”

“Yes,” I said.  “He’s just a friend.  He asked me for a ride the other day and I gave him one.”

“Evan from Rusty’s?” Irelyn asked as she looked at Jessica.  “I don’t know an Evan.”

“He’s a part-time bartender,” Jessica said.  “He knows Rusty.”

“I know who you’re talking about,” Bailey said.  “He’s that good looking guy that tends bar on Fridays.  The one all the girls are stupid over.”

That wasn’t the Evan I knew.  Sure, he was good looking, but I’d never seen any girls fawn over him or anything.  Well, maybe Manda, but I hadn’t seen her since that one day in Beans.

“He’s a manwhore, Morg,” Bailey said, blowing on her tea before taking a sip.  “At least, that’s what I hear.”

“Evan McNew,” Lucas said.  “Didn’t he run around with Owen?”

I swallowed as the air grew heavy and eyes avoided one another.

“I know who you’re talking about,” Collin said.  “I’ve seen him at Rusty’s.”

Desperately I wanted the conversation to shift.  I rifled through the files in my head, hoping to find something to throw out – something that would distract everyone – but couldn’t find anything.

“Watch out for him, Morg,” Spencer said, all humor gone from his eyes.  Perhaps he was remembering what a jerk Owen was.

“There’s nothing to watch out for,” I said.  “Evan is a friend, that’s all.  And I wouldn’t really even call him a friend, I guess.  We just talk from time to time.”

“He seems all right to me,” Lucas said as he got up to retrieve another round of beers.  “I’ve talked to him a few times.  I don’t think he’s like Owen.”

“But if he’s a friend of Owen’s, you need to watch out,” Collin said, steel in his eyes. 

Lips pursed, I accepted another beer from Lucas,
nothing left to say.

***

“What are you doing tonight?” Dante asked as he mixed up a complicated coffee drink.  I watched, amazed at his talent.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“It’s Friday,” he said, shaking a can of whipped cream.  He sprayed a tall, swirly design on top of the drink before handing it to me with a smile.  “You need to get out and
do something fun.”

Turning my back on him, I delivered the drink to the waiting customer, thanking her for waiting.  When she walked to a table, Dante joined me at the counter, leaning on it as he gazed at the small crowd.

“So, are you going to do something?” he asked.

“I was thinking about going to Rusty’s,” I said.  “Out Back is playing.”

“Didn’t they sign with an indie label?”

“Yes, but they haven’t started recording yet,” I explained.  “And they still have a contract with Rusty’s.”

“Cool,” he said.

We stood side by side, our gazes locked on the street outside the window, bathed in streetlights.  People rushed past, bundled up in coats, scarves, and gloves, in a hurry to get from one place to another.

I hadn’t received an invitation to Rusty’s that evening – not that I needed one.  I’d be more than welcome to join Irelyn and Bailey.  And I didn’t need one from Evan, either.  I just wasn’t sure if I wanted to go.  I was happy for my friends and the new changes in their lives, but I didn’t want to put up with Jessica and her smugness.  I knew that I shouldn’t let Jessica come between me and my friends – especially since we were just getting things back on track – but she irritated me so much.

And then there was Evan who was sure to be working.  After the encounter with Owen and the things that people had said about him, I couldn’t face him.  What would I say?  How would I act?

And what did I feel?

Against my better judgment, I decided to go.  I wasn’t going to run or hide anymore.  I wasn’t going to be that girl who sat at home crying.  I wanted my friends back into my life and it was up to me to make sure that happened.

Rusty’s was crowded, unlike the last time I’d been there.  I located Irelyn and Bailey immediately at the usual table and was thrilled to not see Jessica.

After a warm greeting, we settled in with our drinks, waiting for the band to start.  Both girls looked a bit more relaxed than the last time I’d seen them, as if everything had sunk in and the excitement had worn off.

Unable to stop myself, I asked about Jessica.

“She’s working a double today,” Irelyn said.  “She’ll be here in a little bit.”

“Oh,” I said as I scanned the bar, my eyes automatically searching for Evan.  After the conversation about Evan at Bailey’s house, I was a bit curious to see if any of it was true.

Sure enough, when I located him behind the bar, there were three or four girls seated in front of him, flirting and vying for his attention.  I’d never paid much attention before – he was always so irritating that I never noticed anything else.

The band hopped on stage, dragging my attention away from Evan and right to Spencer.  My heart twinged as I watched Spencer pick up his guitar, strapping it around his neck.  Plucking a pick from the strings at the neck of the instrument, he strummed a few times before nodding at Lucas.  Shortly after, they began to play.

I forgot everything as I listened.  I didn’t care if there were a hundred women at the bar, lusting over Evan.  I wasn’t concerned that Spencer was dating such a horrible girl.  And I wasn’t particularly fussed that the relationship with my friends wasn’t as strong as it used to be. I just lost myself in the music.

Our waitress kept us supplied with drinks: diet soda for Irelyn and I and ice water with a lime for Bailey.  It was the first time the three of us sat in this bar and didn’t drink alcohol.