On Her Own (4 page)

He glanced at the wooden rafters overhead. The rope swing still hung from one of the beams. So many times his brothers and sisters had argued over who would get the first turn on the swing that transported them from the hayloft to the pile of straw where they would drop at will. Not Paul. He had no desire to
dangle from any rope suspended so high.

Paul moved away from the old swing and was about to enter one of the horses’ stalls when he heard the barn door squeak open and click shut. He whirled around.

“Hope I didn’t startle you,” Noah Hertzler said, holding his black felt hat in one hand. “I saw you come into the barn and wanted to offer my condolences on the loss of your brother. Dan will surely be missed. I’m real sorry about his passing.”

Paul reached out to clasp Noah’s hand. “
Danki
. I appreciate your kind words.”

“How have you been?” Noah asked.

“I was doing okay until I got the news that my brother had died.”

Noah nodded. “I understand. My mamm passed on a year ago. I still miss her a lot.”

Paul swallowed hard. “It’s never easy to lose a loved one.”

“No, it’s not.”

A few minutes of silence passed between them; then Noah changed the subject. “Do you like Pennsylvania? Has it changed much since you were a boy?”

“I like it well enough. But the Lancaster area is a lot more crowded than it was when I was growing up.” Paul shrugged. “I put up with all the tourists so I can do what I like best.”

“You mean harness making and repair?”

Paul nodded. “Andy also sells and fixes leather shoes and boots.”

“I’m sure you must’ve heard about David Zook passing on,” Noah said.

“Jah. Such a shame. How’s his wife faring? Does she have
anyone to help her in the harness shop?”

Noah shook his head. “Just her daed, and his fingers don’t work so good, what with his arthritis and all.”

“So it’s just Barbara and Samuel?”

“Right now it’s only him. Barbara won’t be back to work until her strength returns and the new boppli’s a bit bigger.”

Paul’s mouth dropped open. “She’s got another child? Mom never mentioned that in any of her letters.”

Noah took a seat on a bale of straw, and Paul joined him. “Barbara gave birth to son number four the same day your brother died. David never knew she was in a family way.” Noah shook his head. “Barbara’s mother-in-law, Mavis, told Faith that Barbara’s feeling real tired. That’s why she’s not here today.”

“Wouldn’t expect her to be under the circumstances.”

Noah cleared his throat. “I. . .uh. . .well, Faith and I were wondering if you might want to stick around awhile. Maybe see about working at Zook’s Harness Shop.”

Paul felt a rush of adrenaline course through his body. Why couldn’t he have been given that opportunity four years ago? “If I did offer my services, it would only be until Barbara gets back on her feet,” he said.

“Does that mean you’d never consider moving back to Webster County?”

Paul shook his head. “I doubt it. I only came home for Dan’s funeral. Figured I might stay a week or two so I could visit family and friends. My sisters live in Jamesport now, and they’re planning to stay here a week. I’ll probably stick around that long, too, and then catch a bus back to Pennsylvania.”

Noah nodded, and his dark eyes revealed the depth of his
understanding. “Before Faith and I were married, she came home not planning to stay, either.”

Paul opened his mouth to say something, but Noah cut him off. “After a time, Faith realized her home was here, and she knew she was supposed to stay.” He smiled. “Of course, marrying me was part of the deal.”

“Faith didn’t have a daed who wanted her to do something she didn’t want to do,” Paul mumbled. “My daed wants me to farm, and if I stick around too long, he’ll start pressing me on the issue.”

“As I’m sure you know, Faith was away from home for ten years, telling jokes and yodeling in the English world.”

“I remember.”

“She and her daed didn’t see eye to eye on her yodeling, but he’s come to terms with it.”

Paul grunted. “Even if Pop and I could mend our fences, I still wouldn’t stay here.”

“Why not?”

“I like working on harnesses, and there isn’t room for two harness shops in this small community.”

“Maybe you could work for Barbara indefinitely.”

Paul’s face heated up. He wasn’t about to spend the rest of his life working for Barbara Zook. She shouldn’t even be running the harness shop. That was men’s work, plain and simple. “Unless Barbara decides to sell out, I won’t be staying in Webster County.” He moved toward the door, and Noah followed. “I will drop by and see Barbara, though. I need to offer my condolences on the loss of her husband.”

B
arbara was napping on the sofa when a knock at the back door wakened her. “Come in!” she called. “I’m in the living room, Mom!”

Moments later, a tall, blond-haired man entered the room. He wore a straw hat, short-sleeved cotton shirt, and dark trousers held up by tan suspenders. “I’m not your mamm, but you did invite me to come in,” he said, removing his hat.

Barbara’s mouth hung open. “Paul Hilty?”

“Jah, it’s me.” He shifted his long legs and shuffled his black boots against the hardwood floor. “Sorry if I startled you.”

Barbara’s hand went instinctively to her hair, as she checked to be sure her
kapp
was in place. She had planned on a short rest and ended up falling into a deep sleep. The baby was sleeping in his crib upstairs, and the boys were at her folks’ place. It had
been the perfect time to rest. The last thing Barbara expected when she woke up was to see a man standing in her living room. “No, no, that’s okay. I mean—it’s good to see you.”

“And you, as well.”

Barbara’s cheeks grew warm as she stood and smoothed the wrinkles in her long dress. “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it to Dan’s funeral yesterday. I had a boppli a few days ago and haven’t gotten my strength back yet.”

A look of concern clouded Paul’s deeply set blue eyes. “I heard that. I also heard about David’s death. I came by to tell you how sorry I am.”

Barbara sank back to the couch. “It’s been a rough eight months,” she admitted.

Paul took a couple of steps forward. “I can imagine.”

“I’m sorry to hear about your brother, too. It’s never easy to lose a loved one.”

He shook his head. “No. No, it’s not.”

“How’s Margaret holding up?”

“It was a shock to have Dan die so suddenly, but Margaret’s doing as well as can be expected.” The sorrowful look on Paul’s face showed the depth of his sadness. “As you know, her six kinner are raised and out on their own, but I hope one of them will take her in to live with them. It’ll probably be her daughter Karen and her husband, Jake, since they live the closest.”

Barbara nodded and swallowed around the lump in her throat. It was hard not to feel sorry for herself. Just thinking about David’s and Dan’s deaths made her feel weepy.

“Have a seat,” she said, finally remembering her manners.

He seated himself in the rocker close to the sofa, looking more
uncomfortable by the minute. Barbara hadn’t known Paul when they were children, and then he’d moved back to Pennsylvania to work with his cousin. Barbara had heard the move was against his dad’s wishes, but she couldn’t fault Paul for wanting to work where he felt comfortable. She would do most anything to keep working in David’s harness shop.

Only the soft ticking of the mantel clock broke the quiet in the room. Barbara sat with her hands folded in her lap. Paul moved slowly back and forth in the rocker.

Finally, she spoke again. “How have you been? Are you happy living in Lancaster County?”

He stopped rocking and sat straight as a board. “I like working at my cousin’s harness shop, but Lancaster’s getting a bit overcrowded for my taste.”

She was tempted to ask why he stayed but figured it probably had to do with the job he enjoyed. “I hear there’s plenty of English and that tourists come by the thousands to get a look at the Plain folks living there.”

Paul nodded. “Not like here, where so few tourists seem to know about us.”

“They probably wouldn’t care anyway, since we’re such a small community.”

“I suppose you’re right about that.”

“How long will you be staying in Webster County?” Barbara asked. Should she bring up the harness shop—see if he might be interested in working for her awhile?

He twisted the edge of his hat. “Guess that all depends.”

“On what?”

“I had only intended on staying a week or so, but I could stay
longer if there was a need.”

“You mean if your daed needed you to help on his farm?”

He shook his head. “No way! I gave up farming when I moved, and I’m not about to go back to it again.”

“I see.”

Paul rubbed the bridge of his nose and leaned forward. “Since David’s gone and you’re not able to work in the harness shop right now, I thought maybe you might be thinking of selling it.”

She shook her head vigorously. “I need to keep it open as long as I’m able.”

He nodded. “So would you be needing someone to run the place for you right now?”

Barbara drew in a deep breath as she thought about the verse from Ecclesiastes 4 she’d read the night before:
“Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow: but woe to him that is alone when he falleth; for he hath not another to help him up.”
She wondered if Paul’s showing up was a sign from God that she was supposed to accept his help.

“I could use some help in the harness shop,” she reluctantly admitted. “Dad’s working, but his fingers won’t let him do a lot, and it’s going to be a few more weeks before I can return to work.”

“That’s what I figured.”

“What about your job? Can your cousin get by without your help for a few weeks?”

He shrugged. “Don’t see why not. When I called from Seymour to let him know I’d gotten here okay, he said he’d just hired on
another part-time man. Unless things get busier than they have been, I’m sure Andy won’t mind if I stay here awhile and help in David’s shop.”

“It’s my shop now,” Barbara corrected.

“Right. I understand, and I—”

The sound of a baby’s cry halted Paul’s words.

Barbara jumped up. “That’s little David. I should tend to him.”

Paul stood. “I can come back some other time.”

She waved her hand. “That’s okay. Why don’t you make yourself comfortable while I tend to the boppli? When I’m done, we can talk more about the possibility of you working in the harness shop.”

He sat down again. “Sounds fine to me.”

Barbara started for the stairs but turned back. “If you’d like some coffee, go on out to the kitchen and help yourself to a cup. I think there’s still some in the pot on the stove.” She hurried from the room before he had a chance to respond, glad for the opportunity to think more about Paul’s offer.

Paul remained in his chair for several minutes after Barbara went upstairs. The baby’s crying had stopped, so he figured she must have things under control.

He couldn’t believe how much Barbara had changed since he’d seen her four years ago. She used to be kind of plump, but now she was much thinner—almost too thin to his way of thinking. Had the years of working in the harness shop taken
their toll, or had she lost the weight after David died? He’d heard of people nearly starving themselves to death when a mate had been taken, but Barbara was a new mother. It seemed to Paul that she should weigh a lot more than she did.

One more reason I need to stick around for a while and help out. She probably doesn’t eat right because she worries about the harness shop and how she’ll provide for her family
.

Paul stood in front of the unlit fireplace. It was late spring, getting too warm for any fires.

Barbara’s a fine-looking woman. Funny I never paid much attention to her before
. He shook his head, trying to get himself thinking straight again. Of course he wouldn’t have eyed Barbara before. She had been married to David Zook, and it wouldn’t have been right for him to pay special attention to her. David and Barbara had already been courting by the time Paul and his family moved to Webster County. Even if Paul had noticed Barbara when she was still a Raber, it wouldn’t have done him any good. She’d been David’s girl from the very beginning. If he had taken an interest in her back then, their courtship would have ended before either of them had a chance to get serious. That’s how it had always been with the women Paul had courted. Maybe it was because they knew he was leery of marriage. Besides, Barbara was two years older than Paul and probably wouldn’t have given him a second glance during their teen years.

Might as well get myself a cup of coffee
, he decided.
It will give me something to do until she gets back, and hopefully it’ll keep me from all this crazy thinking
.

In the kitchen, Paul found a pot of coffee warming on the stove. He located a man-sized mug and had just poured himself
some coffee when he heard the back door swing open and bang against the wall.