On Fallen Wings (35 page)

I ducked between the rails of the fence and picked up the saddle. I coaxed the nearest horse, Drew, and threw the saddle on his back when he trotted eagerly toward me. While I was tightening the girth, the leather broke on the cinch strap.

I cursed and tossed the broken strap back at the stable. “Can’t anything be right?” I grabbed the saddle from Drew’s back and heaved it over the fence. I ducked under to claim another one.

“Calm down, Rhiannon,” said Nia. She stood in front of the remaining saddles. “I knew that you’d be bothered. I won’t let you do something brash.”

“You don’t know anything,” I told her, raising my voice.

Nia didn’t move, and her glare told me that she wouldn’t. We had known each other since walking age, and she was the only girl in the village who could wrestle me to the ground—and she knew it. I grumbled at her and turned to leave.

“Rhiannon, where are you going?”

Ignoring her, I ran into the field. Nia yelled after me, but I ignored her calls. Instead, I dashed toward her home, toward the curse of my life. I was going to see the bandit.

Despite my eagerness to fly across the meadow, my burst of energy was short-lived, and I slowed to a walk, heaving large gasps of air while stretching my burning legs. I turned around; Nia had given chase, and was walking not far behind. When she saw me turn to look, she waved her arms and resumed running.

Forced to continue in haste, I winced and ran again, fighting the pain in my lungs while crossing the wide expanse. When I reached the other side, I ducked under the fence and dashed along the winding forest trail. I was almost to the gate of Nia’s home, when she grabbed me from behind and threw me to the ground.

“Stop it!” I yelled, rolling away from her. “Let me go.”

“No,” said Nia. “He’s nothing but trouble. Let the Elders deal with him.”

“You don’t understand,” I said, scrambling to my feet. “I have to see him. I have to talk to him.”

“Of course, I don’t understand,” said Nia. “You haven’t told me anything. What’s going on? Why do you need to talk to the bandit?”

“Because he stole the scrolls,” I said, trying my best to control my voice. “Cael needed them to save Sean, but the bandit stole them from him.”

“What scrolls?” said Nia. “Rhiannon, what are you talking about?”

“The Fae Scrolls.”

Nia blanched. “How did he—”

“I gave them to him,” I said, interrupting her question with a low voice. “Cael had word from Sean’s captors in Morgan. They were demanding the scrolls for his release.”

“Is that what he told you the day after the attack?”

“Yes!” I had revealed the truth to her, so I wasn’t going to let her wonder any longer. “It was the only way to save Sean,” I said, pleading for her understanding. “But the bandit stole them the night he robbed your home.”

“Come on,” said Nia, tugging at my arm and pulling me away from her gate. “Follow me.”

“Where are you going?” I asked. “You said your father caught him.”

“The bandit is at the smokehouse,” she said, continuing to pull. “Father won’t let the man into our home.”

I followed Nia across her yard and into the brush. Deep inside the trees, at a small clearing, Rance sat on a rolled log guarding Darian. As we approached, Darian turned his head and looked up at me, smiling.

Raging anger flared up inside me. When I saw his smile, I knew he was guilty.
How dare he smile at me, after what he has done?
I ran to him, ignoring Rance when he stood to protest, and punched Darian in the face.

“Why did you do it?” I screamed. My fists shook as I stared down my victim. I clenched them tight and my knuckles grew white from the pressure.

“I didn’t do anything,” said Darian. The skin around his eye was red and swelling. “Let me go. I’m trying to get home.”

“Where you’re going, there’s no way back,” I said. “You don’t deserve to live.” In a thrust of rage, I kicked him in the ribs.

My anger was feeding itself. Darian rolled to his side and faced away.

“Look at me!” Tears welled in my eyes, but I fought them back. I ached from Sean’s death, but refused to reveal the pain to anyone, especially this creature. I stepped over Darian and pressed down on his shoulder with my foot, forcing him to look up. “Why did you take the scrolls? They were meant for something—something really important.” I took a deep, soothing breath. “You’re a murderer.”

The hatred and anger combined into a fire that burned hot and red. In a flurry, I struck Darian repeatedly, determined to hurt him as badly as he had hurt me. The anger flowed free and uninhibited, from my pained heart to the vessel of my madness.

“Rhiannon, you must stop,” said Nia. She shook my shoulders. Her eyes were wet and terrified. “Don’t do this. It won’t bring him back.”

I shifted my gaze from my best friend to my victim. While my chest heaved with deep breathing, my diamond flashed a reminder of the courage Sean had offered me. The courage I had ignored. I was one of the Fae—a faerie, dedicated to healing and peace of others. I looked again at Darian’s face. His dark eyes spoke his pain.

I stepped back as regret emptied my soul and drained all emotion from me. “I’m sorry,” I said. The weakness in my voice surprised me. “I’m so sorry.” I stepped away and stumbled back into the forest toward home.

That isn’t where I went. I couldn’t go home—not right away. I needed to be alone, to make sense of what had just happened. When I arrived at the field, I climbed under the fence and collapsed on the ground. My lungs ached and my face felt like it was on fire. I rubbed my hands together. They were bruised and bleeding.

What had I done?

The impulse that had possessed me was acting on everything I wanted, everything I had felt at that moment; but it wasn’t me. I was confused.

Who have I become?

While I lay in the grass, staring at the afternoon sky, my mind whispered a thousand words at once, voiding any chance for a clear thought. I was a faerie. I had attacked a man, striking him until he screamed. The season had affected me with chilling malice. My hands hurt from the cuts. I had done this; I was to blame. This wasn’t what I was supposed to be. This wasn’t anyone. Darian had taken the scrolls, but how could he know of their importance to me?

I didn’t know anything anymore. I couldn’t breathe. I stayed in the grass, trying to convince myself that I had a right to do what I did, and that I had avenged Sean’s death. My own thoughts failed to bring me comfort. During those same moments, my mind told me that I was worse than anyone in the village was. I had stolen our sacred record, I had lied to everyone, and I had just beaten a helpless person. Perhaps fate had taken Sean from me for my actions. Perhaps simply this was the justice I deserved.

Haunted by my inner voice, the relenting conscience that spoke to me in the silence, I picked myself up from the grass and staggered home. There was nothing for me on this side of the meadow.

Fallen Wings

Early the next morning, while eating a meal with my family, the sun announced its arrival and brightened the dining room through the window. At that same moment, the front door shook with a knock. I had been expecting it.

“I’ll get it,” said Ethan, beating Leila to the hall.

I wiped my mouth and stood to collect my dishes.

“Rhiannon,” yelled Ethan from the door. “There’s a messenger here.”

“A messenger?” asked Father, glancing at me. He yelled back at Ethan. “What does he want?”

“It’s okay, Father,” I said, patting him on the shoulder while I maneuvered around him toward the hall. “I know what this is about.”

When I reached the door, Leila and Mother had crowded behind me and pushed me forward. Ethan stepped aside and let me pass. Gavin Tully stood on the step, dressed proper and handsome. He, too, had an early start to the day.

“I have a message for you,” he said, offering me an envelope.

I thanked him and accepted the parchment. “Would you like to come inside?” I felt the door open wider behind me.

“No, thank you,” he answered. “The message has been paid for.”

I knew what he meant. A sealed message paid in advance was official business of either the Elders, or the Fae. I was being summoned.

“Have a good day,” I told him, trying to sound pleasant. The envelope shook in my fingers.

“What is it?” said Mother. “Why are you being summoned?”

I bit my lip, causing it to bleed. “I need to see the Fae,” I said. “Something’s happened.” I shoved my way past her and Leila and scrambled up the stairs, slamming my bedroom door behind me.

I was sobbing into my hands as I collapsed on the bed. The envelope was proof that my life was over. Knowing its contents, but fearing the words, I rolled over and stared at the golden writing on the parchment.

Rhiannon Phillips. A request from Raisa Bannon.

Ignoring its folded seal, I tore the edge of the thick paper and shook it open. The message read:

Rhiannon of the Fae,

You are summoned to my home immediately, to discuss recent events regarding your membership. Please arrive alone.

A blessing of good fortune,

Raisa Bannon.

Fate had caught me and pressed me into a corner; there was no place to run, and no one to help me. While I stared at the symbols on the parchment, trying to decode them for some other meaning, Mother called to me from the hallway.

“Rhiannon, are you okay?”

I wiped my eyes and took a deep breath. “Yes, Mother, I’m okay. I’ve been summoned to Raisa Bannon’s home. I must go now.”

Mother opened the door, peering as if seeking silent permission to enter. She held out her hand. “What does it say?”

Resigned to the inevitable, I shoved the parchment into her hand and grabbed my gown from the closet. While I quickly put it on, wondering if this would be the last day that I would wear it, the words from the summons burned in my head. Mother didn’t speak. Instead, she took the brush from my dresser and used it to pull my hair with long, fluid stokes.

“What color shawl do I wear?” I asked, wincing as she pulled my head back.

“Gold,” she whispered. “You should present yourself with pleasant grace.”

At that moment, my tears returned. I had always loved my mother, because she was wonderful; that day, she was perfect. She had read the note, and had seen my possible fate. She couldn’t know what I had done, yet she said those kind words to me.

“Thank you,” I said. I slipped the golden-laced shawl over my gown and then turned to face her. Her face was tranquil and loving. I offered her a hug, squeezing her tight and long. “I’m sorry, Mother. I’m sorry.”

Mother said nothing, but cradled the back of my head in her palm. I was terrified to face my future, but in my mother’s arms, I could pretend for a moment that I was still carefree and innocent, looking eagerly forward to each new day. Everything about her presence was soothing. Her warmth, her smell, even her gentle breath calmed me. I held on as long as I could, and then released her. After a final look in the mirror—I was beautiful in that gown—I left my room and stepped slowly down toward the front door.

I didn’t speak, and I never waved goodbye, as I walked outside and closed the door behind me. A brittle wind whistled through the trees, caught my face, and tangled my hair back. It was going to be a long walk across the village.

Many villagers stopped and stared while I passed them. I must have appeared as a spectacle to them. No one spoke to me, and I pointedly ignored them, staring only at the trees. It was a walk I never imagined I’d be taking. When I reached the thin trail leading to Raisa’s eccentric home, I paused, gave a sigh, then stepped forward. Mother’s words lingered in my mind.
You should present yourself with pleasant grace.

As I stepped down the trail, a gust of wind shook the trees around me, causing them to shake and shudder. At that moment, all of the leaves released their grip on the trees and fluttered to the ground, a cyclone of orange, red, and yellow that whipped the trees and scoured the forest floor. I closed my eyes, afraid that the world was ending.

When the noise ended, I opened my eyes. The trees were suddenly bare. Only a few meandering leaves occupied the air as they fluttered slowly—twisting and spiraling—until they joined the blanket of color at my feet.

The silence was gone and the forest floor, newly covered in bright leaves, rolled and shuffled while tiny creatures climbed their way from under the instant covering. Squirrels scampered up the trees, rabbits leapt across the trail, and a tiny fox turned to insult me with his eyes before dancing along the trail past me. His actions left me longing; even the forest, it seemed, was turning its back to me. I fought back tears while I walked through the thick leaves toward Raisa’s home.