On Edge (6 page)

“Ander found you?”

“Yeah. He sat down and didn't say anything to me except: ‘There's nothing you can say that will make me think less of you. I'm going to stick with you until you tell me why you're out here.' I called his bluff for a couple of hours. He didn't leave. He just sat there. So I tried a different approach. I told him that I liked him.”

I was glad Surge was sharing so much with me, but it was a lot to process. “What did Ander say to that?”

“He said thanks, but no thanks, peddle your gay juice elsewhere.”

I'm sure my mouth dropped open by a foot. “What?!”

Surge pointed and laughed. “You shoulda seen your face!”

I wanted to kick him in the ass. “So, you're not gay?”

Still grinning at me, Surge shrugged. “I wasn't lying about the story, just that last bit. I wouldn't put any labels on my jacket yet, LL. I just don't care to. And that's what Ander did for me. After we talked for a long time about my confusion, liking girls and all too, Ander told me to take a deep breath, and enjoy being who I am. I don't love anyone. I don't need to define myself one way or the other. I'm just open to whichever direction love comes at me. I don't need to cloud my high school experiences with inner turmoil by making statements I'm not sure about. I just gotta let life roll at me. That is what Ander taught me. And that, is what I am trusting you with.”

For the first time since I'd known him, I felt close to Surge. I finally felt like he let me know him…even though “him” wasn't defined.

I closed the distance between us and gave Surge a big hug, complete with squeeze. “Thank you for trusting me with that.”

“I've always trusted you. Just didn't really know you were interested in knowing that much about me.”

“I am interested. I feel like we get each other, yanno?”

“Yeah, I know. And I hope you know now that you can trust me with anything you might wanna talk about, cuz I ain't about to jeopardize my situation with the coolest girl in town for nobody. Not even Ander. I've got your back, a'ight? Don't play, cuz you know I do.”

“So, you still want to know about Haze?”

“Not so's I can run to Ander with it. And definitely not to say some shit to Warp. Don't tell me anything until you feel you can. But if you and Haze hook up, there could be a world of violence. So until you talk real to me, I'd take it as a courtesy if you'd at least let me know if I need to start ducking. You know the black man dies first every time.”

I groaned and rolled my eyes, but was glad to see his confession didn't create an awkwardness between us. “Three Rivers is sixty percent black, Surge. I'm black. You saying I'm gonna die?”

“Psh! Girl, look at your daddy. You're white with some Oreo dust.”

I had to laugh. He wasn't wrong. Coming from anyone else, I woulda thrown a punch to defend my parents' breeding decision, but Surge could insult anyone and it would sound good. “Yeah, yeah.”

“So, you and Haze…” he prompted.

“I've known him for a total of an hour.”

“Boy works fast.” When I glared he backed off. “A'ight, okay. Like I said—just tell me—”

“…if you need to duck. Yeah, I got it.”

Eight

“I can't believe you're out on a school night past nine.” Liv beamed at me as we stood in line for overpriced popcorn and partially melted chocolate-covered raisins. “I love when your dad isn't home!”

I smiled but I couldn't really get behind her excitement. I loved having my freedom but I didn't really feel like I lived under my father's thumb like most kids. As far as dads went, mine was pretty cool, so anarchy wasn't on my to-do list. Guess I needed to work on my teenage angst or something.

Liv interpreted my silence as annoyance and hurriedly backpedaled. “Oh, I know he just cares more about you than most parents around here. I'm not trying to dig on Pops or anything. I mean, I barely even see my life-donors. I'm not sure they'd even bother to come home if I landed in the hospital.”

I stepped up to the counter and placed my order but kept my ear tilted toward Liv as she lamented over her parental apparitions. “Although, they did come home last year when the neighbors called the cops about a break-in at my house.”

“I didn't know someone broke into your house.”

“No one did.” She smiled but I could see the sadness beneath the painted surface. “It was all me.”

I couldn't hide my wince. “Yikes.”

“They were terrified of getting arrested for child neglect, so they both took turns staying home for a month.”

“Well that was good at least, right?” I wasn't sure trying to make her feel better about her parents' behavior was a good tactic, but I didn't feel comfortable not saying anything in support.

“Are you kidding? I wanted to make them panic, not stay home and glare at me. I couldn't wait for them to leave again. Rosahlia is all the guardian I can handle. She comes, she cooks and cleans, and doesn't try to get in my way when I want to do something. She does kinda nag, though. Hey, isn't that—?”

Liv pointed off toward the ticket booth and I followed her finger. Yup. My luck from the rest of the day stayed consistent. “Yeah. Haze.”

“I'm used to calling him Bren, but I'll try to remember Haze. You know me, I could give a rat's ass about that street bullshit.” And then as if she remembered who she was talking to she added. “Except you, Ellie.”

Feeling suddenly happy, I laughed openly, a part of me wondering if Haze would recognize the timbre of my voice and home in.

There was no home-age.

“I know you dig what I do. Don't sweat it. Maybe one day you'll get over your fear of heights.”

“No way. I'll leave all the cool acrobatics to you. Hey, they're looking over here. Think they'll come over?”

Sexay Home-age after all! I kept my happy feet from dancing. “I have no idea. Maybe you should wave, Liv. You said you wanted to start slow with talking to him again. If he sees you looking and you don't wave…”

“What? Like I have no loyalty? He's with a bunch of his writer buddies. And after today's near-brawl in the hallway…?”

“Look at you with your graffiti jargon. I'm impressed.”

“Ellie.” She snorted. “I had no idea you thought of me as a complete idiot.”

I laughed. “Sorry, sorry.”

“I was best friends with his sister and she was a graffiti artist, or trying to be before…” Pursing her lips, she busied herself yanking a few napkins from the holder.

Damn, I hated the whole situation. I never really knew what to say or how to say it when it came to Heather.

“I'm sorry. Not trying to bring that stuff up.”

She slapped my arm. “Don't be sorry, newb. Oh, they're looking over here. Ugh, he's with Decay and Racker. Not my favorite people. Say the word and I snub them now and ruin their night.”

Liv could be full of self-importance sometimes but I dug that about her. Glad to be out from under the dark topic cloud, I laughed and shook my head. “You know my brother, itching to start a fight. This whole feud is bullshit so wave all you like.”

She did and the three guys answered. I remained Switzerland and gave the cashier my full attention.

“Feel better?” I asked.

“At least we know they're amicable and not about to attack me because I'm with a tracy.”

“Traceur,” I corrected, and received Liv's infamous
whatever
look. She knew I couldn't stand the word “whatever,” or the attitude that usually accompanied it, but she didn't seem to mind doling out the smirk. I gave her an E for effort and the finger.

“Your phone's ringing,” she said, and reached for the refreshments the cashier handed to us.

Who would be calling me? Warp was busy with the boys; Pops had already called to check in. I didn't know anyone else really.

As I fished my phone out of my pocket I irrationally thought it might be Haze. It took me a second to calm down and rationalize that Haze couldn't be calling for two very good reasons. One, he stood across from me without a phone to his ear and two, he didn't have my cell number.

Oh! The picture of my older brother beamed up at me from the phone and I smiled.

“It's Ander. I gotta take this.” I couldn't keep the excitement out of my voice. I hadn't talked to my older brother in over a month. Maybe longer since the last few months went by in a blur.

Liv laughed. “Okay, go, go. I'll save you a seat, but your bro owes me for the damage walking around solo will do to my reputation.”

Beaming a smile at her, I held the phone up to my ear. “Helloooo?” I pressed a ten into Liv's hand to reimburse her for the goodies and walked toward the bathrooms where I could hear better. I caught a quick glimpse of Haze as I walked past, and noticed he was staring at me scowling.

Why was he angry?

“I said ‘hello, little sister!' Are you spacing out on me? I'm the one whose brain is supposed to be academically fried.”

“Oh! Ander, sorry, I was navigating away from the refreshment stand. You know how brutal that can be.”

Ander laughed and that was all it took to make everything right in my world.

My eldest brother was the kind of person everyone wanted to be near. A natural leader, he took any erratic or chaotic situation and smoothed it out. He did this with people, too, as both Surge and I could attest. When asked who I would take with me on a deserted island, I always got funny looks when I would say my brother, Ander. “Um, okay, sick,” they'd say until I learned to lie, but in truth, Ander would have my stranded ass off that island eating a prime rib dinner within a day using only a shoelace.

He simply excelled at puzzle-solving and squeezing order out of chaos.

In four years, Ander had carried us all through mom's death while stopping the growth of gang activity on our blocks by introducing everyone to parkour and giving them something else to exert their energy on. Something new, cool, and time-consuming.

Parents loved him, kids respected him…and Warp was screwing it all up.

I listened to Ander tell me about his college experiences. He managed to find a few other traceurs in Florida and start a parkour group there but he missed us. He missed me and Pops and Surge and even Warp.

“Speaking of Warp, how's his inner struggle going?”

That's what I loved about Ander. He didn't bother with bullshit.

Laughing, I switched my phone from one ear to the other, looking around the near empty concession area. Poor Liv, she had to go into the theater all by herself. I'd have to make it up to her later.

“Warp is…well Warp. Pops kept us home to see what the school merger would bring about. Then the shootings last week ended with 3-Town V losing a big chunk of their invaders to jail or death. The other gangs aren't making much trouble, so Warp has decided to step up our crew's appearance. I'm worried, Ander. He's taken a personal dislike to the graffitis from Branfort.”

Ander sighed into the phone. “I'm not surprised. I'll talk to him, Emanuella, okay?”

I hated talking to him about Warp and the situation at home because I knew he'd feel responsible, and if he thought about it too much, his school work would suffer. I kinda worried he wouldn't want to call anymore if I made things sound too dire or melancholy every time he dialed my cell.

“No. You don't have to. You know how I get. I worry about whether the sun will rise tomorrow, as Pops says. I just miss you and although I love Warp to death, he's no substitute.”

“I'll call Surge.”

“Really, you don't have to.”

“He's my guy in town.” I smiled because I knew now why Surge would do anything my brother asked. “Besides,” Ander continued, “he has a knack for getting people out of trouble.”

I thought about the hallway incident. “You're not wrong.”

“Well, I should probably get to my lab class. Oh! I hear Surge gave you another street name. You never did like Pigeon.”

“Ugh, don't remind me.”

“Lady of the Ledge…I dig it.”

I grinned at the phone. “Yeah, I do, too. Everyone calls me LL.”

“It fits you. Okay, LL,” I could hear the smile in his voice. “I'll call you again, sooner this time. And try not to worry too much about Wharf.”

I laughed. Ander loved to tease Warp by calling him Wharf instead. It used to amuse us to see how many shades of angry maroon Ander could get Warp to turn.

“Okay, Ander. I'll talk to you soon. Miss you, love you.”

“Miss you, love you, too, little sister.”

And then he was gone. It was hard not to feel a little sad but I was super glad he called.

“Who was that?”

The masculine voice threw me for a second, and as I looked up at Haze's face, the first word that came to mind was,
figures
.

“What?”

“On the phone. Who were you talking to?”

He asked casually but I could tell he was interested in a way that most boyfriends would be interested in who rang their girls. The sadistic side of me wanted to prolong his agony. But karma and all that crap. “My older brother, Ander.”

He smiled, and I might not have been a boy genius, but I was pretty sure I saw some relief on his face.

The smile faded into a frown, and I noticed I'd lost his attention to something over my right shoulder. Before I could turn and see what bothered him, he pressed himself into me and smushed me against the wall with his body.

“Hey,” I complained. Kinda.

“Shh,” he urged, and buried his nose against the side of my neck. Goosebumps tweaked my arms the second his hot breath fogged the sensitive flesh beneath my ear. I heard him sniff in the scent of my hair and I was glad I used the cheapo tropical shampoo at the dollar store. I had to wash my hair twice, but it smelled really yummy.

What the hell was he doing? Why was he doing it? Not that I really cared, but curious, I peeked over his jacket collar before ducking right back behind its safety. Damn.

A few feet from us, a few guys I'd seen around school walked down the corridor. They were writers, too, but they weren't part of Haze's crew. I guess he didn't want them seeing us together, which probably meant Warp's plan to carve a rift between them and us was working.

If that were the case, Haze would be seen as a traitor talking to me, and I, his whore. This could get ugly.

They outnumbered us four to two and might have weapons. Unless Haze was the type to carry an automatic in his pants, we'd lose if a fight broke out. I shivered in fear. “Shit.” Nerves made my voice shake.

“So. What did you talk about? Me?” Haze pressed harder into me, like he was trying to keep my attention off the situation and onto him. It worked. Clouding the thoughts of panic was the invasion of his smell and the heat of his body radiating into my bones.

Focus, LL
, I chided.

“Yes,” I croaked, and cleared my throat, reaching for the sarcasm I knew was in my brain somewhere. “That's the first thing I brought up to him. How some graffiti writer yanked me into a closet against my will.”

Once the guys turned the corner, Haze stepped back. The grin on his face didn't waiver, despite the near-death experience. As usual, he seemed unfazed. “And what did he say to that?”

I slapped him in the arm. “You're deranged, you know that? Why are you even talking to me? The longer you stand here the more likely we'll get caught. And the movie already started.” I realized I was babbling by the look of amusement on his face. I sighed. “I just mean that there are a million reasons why you shouldn't be next to me right now.”

“And there is only one that keeps me here.”

Holy hell. He worked hard on that swoon factor. “Uhm,” I said profoundly.

“I'm not leaving until you promise to meet me in the closet tomorrow. And you'd better mean it.”

“I meant it last time,” I defended. “But I couldn't get away without being noticed. You can understand that, can't you?”

“I do understand. That's why I'm continuing to risk our safety and look like a disloyal asshole by coming over here. So promise me.”

“Okay, okay, I promise.”

“‘Ey! Haze. Come on, man.” Decay leaned out of the door to the movie theater and eyed me oddly. The WTF look he gave Haze made me cringe.

“Not good,” I said, wondering if I'd have to decapitate a rooster to change my luck around.

Haze grinned. “Nah, he's giving me that look because he's missing the previews. They're his favorite part.”

“Oh.” I felt relieved…sorta, but Decay gave me the heebs. I couldn't be sure that Haze was right about his friend's glare. I saw something much harder than annoyance at missing the Coming Soons.

“I'm coming!” Haze yelled to his buddy before winking over his shoulder at me. “See you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow. Things could only improve, right?