Of Windmills and War (40 page)

Danny watched as she cried silently, her body quaking now
and then with the remnants of her grief. He watched and waited. Then he gently
gathered her into his arms, tucking her safely beside him. “Oh, Anya, I’m so
sorry. I’m so sorry.”

She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head
against his chest. They remained that way for more than half an hour. At first
Danny murmured assurances that she was safe now, that he would protect her. Eventually,
he felt her breathing grow more relaxed and hoped she would fall asleep. The
images of what she’d described were now seared into his mind and his heart
broke for her. How could anyone so young have endured so much? How had she
survived carrying so much pain, so much despair?

When he was sure she’d fallen asleep, he laid his head back
against the pillow, closed his eyes, and prayed.

Lord, none of this is news to You. I don’t begin to
understand why . . . why she’s lost everyone in her life, why so
much evil is all around us, and why so many have lost so much. It wears me out,
wondering about all of it. But somehow, through all this pain and sorrow, You
brought me to Anya. And just now, I know it was You who gave her the courage to
open her heart. I don’t know what You have in store for any of us, Lord, but
I’m begging You from the bottom of my heart . . . let me guard
and protect her. Don’t let this war come between us.

God, please just give us a chance.

56

Danny
woke as someone tapped on his shoulder. He looked up to find Eduard standing
beside him, a gentle smile on his face. He nodded toward Anya.

“At
last she has found rest.”

Danny
looked over to find her sound asleep beneath the quilt, her back curled up next
to him. In any other situation, he might feel embarrassed, but there was no
need. As he turned back to respond, Eduard continued.

“I’m
sorry I must disturb you, but it is necessary for us to move you.”

“What?
But I thought they told me to—”

“Come.
We must talk.”

Eduard
had brought his crutch and helped him to his feet. Danny tried to move off the
bed without disturbing her.

“Danny?”

He
turned. “I’m sorry, Anya. I had hoped not to wake you.”

She sat
up and yawned. “Eduard, what is it?”

“We
have received word that we must move out all of our Allies. It seems our
liberation may soon be happening, but the Germans will not go easily. Already
they have begun going house to house with a greater sense of urgency, intending
to eliminate any remaining Jews and those who have taken them in. But far more
valuable to them at such a time as this are the Allies who have slipped by them.
Downed pilots, paratroopers who came in to work behind enemy lines, everyone.
It is imperative we get all of you out of here as soon as possible.”

“But
won’t it be more dangerous to travel with Allies in our vehicle?” Anya asked,
climbing off the bed to join them. “We’ll be stopped at every roadblock. And if
we are, I doubt Frederic’s tales will deter them if they are as desperate as
you say.”

“That
may be, but no one is safe here now. Already our friends in the other safe
house across town have been killed—”

“What?”

“It
seems an infiltrator had joined ranks with them. Always we are told to be
careful, to be suspicious. This is why. Now, we have all been compromised.”

“Who?
Who was the traitor?” she demanded.

“It
does not matter now. The infiltrator tipped off the Germans about a meeting
scheduled in their safe house cellar. When they all gathered, the Germans threw
live grenades below and killed them all, including the traitor.”

“Will
it never end?” she cried, knotting her fists. Danny pulled her to his side,
wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“Yes,
it will end. And soon,” Eduard said. “All around us, they fight to free us. But
we are not free yet. If anything, we are in more danger now than ever before.
Which is why we must hurry.”

Only
then did Danny notice the uniform shirt and trousers Eduard was wearing. It
wasn’t one he’d seen on any of them. But before he could ask, Eduard
interrupted his thoughts.

“I have
already sent the rest of our staff to their homes. Frederic and I will drive. We
must stop in
Apeldoorn
to pick up three more airmen who came in
over night. Anya, you will ride in back with Lieutenant McClain and the others
we pick up.”

“But
he’s in no condition to travel,” Anya argued. “If something should happen, how
could he—”

“I’ll
be fine,” Danny said. “But Eduard, I want Anya to come all the way to
England
with
me. How can we make that happen?”

“No!’ She
backed away from him. “I cannot leave now! There is too much to be done here.
Tell him, Eduard.”

Instead,
Eduard headed for the door. “There is no time for such an arrangement now. Get
your things. We move out in five minutes.”

Danny
hobbled to her side again. “Anya, you have to come with me.”

“No,
Danny. I can’t leave. Not like this.”

“Like
what? You board the fishing vessel with me and the other Allied airmen. You
help others do it all the time, now it’s your turn. I want you with me where I
can protect you.” He reached for her hand but she raised her palms, taking
another step back.

“You
cannot protect me. None of us can protect each other. You should know that by
now.”

He
grabbed her wrist, holding firm, and made her face him. “Please. At least think
about it. You said yourself, you’ve lost everyone here. Come with me. At least
we will have each other. At least—”

“No,
Danny.” She pulled her hand free and started toward the door. “I can’t..”

“Then I
won’t leave without you.”

An
exasperated huff escaped her lips as she turned back toward him. “Now who’s
being stubborn? You cannot stay.”

He made
his way toward her. “Me? Stubborn? I thought you had the corner on that market.”
He reached for her hand then dropped his voice. “It took all these years to
find you, Anya. I can’t risk losing you now. I
won’t
risk losing you.”

She
dropped his hand. “So ‘all these years’ you have been searching for me?” she
asked, moving into the hallway. “No, you did not. You went to college, you enlisted
to fight the war—”

“Which
brought me to you,” he said, following her. “I don’t believe in coincidences.”

She
shook her head as she grabbed her jacket and cap. “And I don’t believe in happy-ever-after
fairy tales.”

“Anya!”
Frederic summoned from the back porch. “Let’s go!”

She
held up a weathered coat. “Put this on, Danny. We must hurry.”

As he
climbed into the coat, he pleaded with her. “Just tell me you’ll think about it.
Promise me you’ll at least think about it.”

When he
turned around, she rolled her eyes while placing a worn Fedora on his head. “I
make no such promise. Now come along. I’ll help you into the truck.”

As she
helped him down the back steps, he stopped dead in his tracks at the sight of a
member of the Gestapo in full uniform. “Wha—”

“Don’t
worry,” Anya said tugging him down the final step. “Say hello to the
Lieutenant, Frederic.”

The
soldier belched, sending a waft of the same disgusting odor Danny remembered
from the manure-like cigarettes Frederic often smoked. “Guten tag, Herr
McClain,” he said, clicking his heels together and throwing out his right arm
in the familiar salute. “Heil Hitler!” Then he promptly turned and spat on the
ground.

“Lock
them up. Let’s go,” Eduard barked, emerging from the back door. He too wore the
uniform of the Gestapo, still fastening the collar of his jacket. “Anya, you
and Lieutenant McClain must keep utterly silent, especially when we are
stopped. Not a sound.”

“I know,”
Anya answered as she and Frederic helped Danny up into the back of the truck.
They made their way through boxes and trunks all labeled in German. Liquor,
cigarettes, firearms, and numerous other black market goods, all containers
stenciled with the menacing swastika. Anya opened the camouflaged secret door
and helped Danny into the compartment. She guided him toward the bench on the
right side.

“How is
this—?”

A metal
door rolled down closing them in, effectively answering his question. In the
pitch black, Danny held his breath, hearing a succession of thuds from the
other side.

“They
stack the trunks two-deep all the way to the top in front of the door,” she
explained, her voice placing her directly across from him. “From out there, it
looks like a packed cargo of goods—all bound for German officers of the highest
rank, according to our false paperwork. At the roadblocks, Frederic and Eduard
will donate a crate filled with booze and cigarettes. The guards are used to
these gifts and always let us through. At least they always have before.”

Danny
tugged at his collar. “Is there sufficient ventilation in here?”

“Yes,
of course. When your eyes grow accustomed to the darkness, you’ll see a random
cluster of small holes above us in the roof. Undetectable from outside, but we
must always be silent whenever the truck is stopped. Always.”

The
engine came to life followed by a grinding gear change. Then the truck backed
up, changed gears again, and began rumbling over the rough ground, bouncing
them around. He reached across the darkness, searching for her hand and found
it. At first she entwined her fingers with his but said nothing. Then, a few
moments later when the truck hit a particularly deep rut in the road, she moved
to sit beside him.

“Not
exactly the romantic setting I had in mind, but I guess it will have to do.”

“Always,
you find the humor.”

“I
can’t see your face yet so I have no idea if you’re smiling.”

“Only a
little.”

“I can
do with a little.”

“We
shall soon pick up the others, so any romantic intentions will have to wait.”

“Let’s
see if Eduard and Frederic will let these other pilots ride up front with them.
Then we’ll have more time. Alone.”

She
didn’t say anything, and even though his eyes were starting to see the
pinpoints of light from the holes above them, he still couldn’t see her face.
“You’re quiet. What are you thinking?”

“I’m
thinking that I wish I could have met you when you were that boy writing me
letters in the back of your father’s movie theater.”

“Yeah?”

“You
didn’t know, of course, but I always loved getting those long letters. Always I
waited for the postman to bring our mail.”

“And I
used to race upstairs after school to my bedroom. Mom used to place your
letters on my pillow. Finding one there was always the favorite part of my
day.”

“Mine too.
Except if you wrote about those silly cowboy movies.”

“Hey!
Those are my favorites. Have some respect.”

“Those
and your Cubs baseball. Such a boring sport.”

“Ah,
but you’ve never been to a real live baseball game. I’ll take you when all this
is over. We’ll ride the trolley car to Wrigley Field, we’ll eat hot dogs, and
we’ll try to catch home run balls.”

The
truck hit another rut and bounced them again, but she said nothing.

“What?
You won’t even try one single Cubs game with me?”

Silence.

He
pulled her closer, resting his chin on her head. “Look, I know we can’t be sure
how all this will end. I know it’s mostly wishful thinking to talk about
baseball games and all that. But I need to believe there’s a future for us.
Together. That’s why I want you to come with me.”

“Danny,
please don’t ask that of me.”

“What
is so wrong with asking you to come with me? Your country is still at war and
still extremely dangerous. I mean, look at us! We’re hidden in a truck driving
across German occupied territory. Why is it so wrong for me to care about your
safety?”

The
truck slowed down. Anya stiffened. “Shh! Say nothing,” she whispered.

The
complaining gears once more groaned as the vehicle came to a stop. Danny held
his breath. He could hear German voices, obviously barking orders. Eduard
responded in fluent German in a tone that suggested nothing unusual, merely
routine. Next, he heard Frederic’s additional comments in a much more animated version
of German. Laughter rang out as the guards clearly enjoyed whatever Frederic
had said. Danny allowed himself a breath, relieved to hear laughter instead of
gunfire.

The
conversation continued, back and forth. He could hear the squeal of the outer
rear door opening. Anya squeezed his hand. Then, the door slammed shut again.
Danny visualized Frederic handing over a crate of stolen goods. The resulting
comments from the guards sounded favorable. In a moment, the truck roared back
to life and they were on their way.

“Thank
goodness,” he said just above a whisper.

“We
should be near
Apeldoorn
shortly,” Anya said. “It is
not far now.”

“Then I
haven’t got much time to convince you to come with me, do I?”

“No,
you don’t, and I will not change my mind, so save yourself the effort.”

“What
is it that holds you back? What could you possibly have here that’s worth
risking your life every single day?”

She
stiffened again and pushed away from him. “And what right do you have to tell
me what to do? To tell me I must go with you? What if it were
your
country
under occupation? Would you run away? Would you have someone tell you to leave?
To simply—”

“To
simply do whatever it takes to save my life? Of course, I would! Who in their
right mind prefers living in a war zone when they have a chance to live in
freedom?”

“Oh, so
now you would say I’m crazy? That I am a fool because I won’t drop everything
and run away with you?”

He
could hear the passion in her voice, the rising anger he’d stumbled back into.
“Anya, no. I would never say that. I just—”

“You
just want to protect me. I know. I’ve heard it all before.”

“So
that’s it?”