Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (23 page)

Logan looked like he wanted to argue, but I shot daggers at him and he sighed, finally acquiescing. I got him a pillow and blanket from upstairs and left him to make up the couch.

Even though I was as familiar with the Brooks’ home as my own, I had never spent the night in the guest room since I had always slept with Cassie in her room when I stayed over. The guest room was across the hall from Cassie’s old room, and I was relieved that her door was closed. I knew what I would find on the other side. Her room was exactly the way she had left it, as if it were waiting for her to return.

I turned off the lights and climbed into bed, but I was afraid to close my eyes. A part of me regretted not letting Logan stay up here with me. The house sounded too quiet, and despite it not being very late, the night was pitch black. The sound of my own breathing seemed loud, and I couldn’t help being afraid that it would mask any other sounds that would warn me of another presence.

I told myself I was being silly and forced myself to close my eyes. Despite my anxiety, the turmoil of the day had taken its toll on me and I drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Eighteen

I awoke abruptly, a gasp dying on my lips. I held my breath, unsure of what had roused me from my sleep. There was nothing but silence, and I wondered if maybe a bad dream that I couldn’t remember had woken me up with such a feeling of fright.

I breathed in slowly and steadily, willing my pulse to slow down. I felt myself starting to calm down when I heard it. A loud scraping noise that sounded like it was coming from the hallway. My adrenaline kicked in and I strained to hear the noise again. When it sounded again, I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. Everything in me was screaming to stay in bed and just hope that whatever was making that sound would go away, but I knew I would never be able to rest without knowing who, or what, was making that noise.

I slowly got out of bed and crept to the door, holding my breath as I turned the knob and slowly opened the bedroom door. I didn’t know what I expected to see, but the hallway, illuminated by one small lamp, was empty.

I heard the scraping noise again, and realized that it was coming from the room across from me. Cassie’s room.

Scared wasn’t sufficient to describe what I was feeling. I felt like I was going to have a heart attack as I opened my door wider and silently stepped into the hallway. I didn’t believe it was Cassie making that noise, but I needed to know for sure. And I would never know the truth unless I had the guts to open her bedroom door.

I put my hand on the knob and took a deep breath. I twisted the knob and opened the door, my heart in my throat. I gasped when I saw the scene in front of me.

Mrs. Brooks was standing in front of a full-length mirror in the corner of Cassie’s room. She was wearing Cassie’s old sweatshirt from the University of Michigan over her nightgown. She whirled around when she saw me in the reflection, a garish smile on her face.

“Madison! I told you Cassie was going to come tonight. Come in and say hello to her.”

As I hesitantly stepped inside the room, I wondered if I should call for Mr. Brooks. But before I could decide what to do, Mrs. Brooks turned back to her reflection.

“Look who it is. It’s Madison. I’m sure you’re happy to see her.”

Mrs. Brooks’ voice changed when she spoke again. This time it was higher pitched. “Maddie, it’s so good to see you. I’ve missed you.”

Horror rushed through me when I realized Mrs. Brooks’ was talking to her reflection like it was Cassie. I felt rooted to the spot as she continued her macabre performance.

“It was sweet of her to visit, wasn’t it?” Mrs. Brooks said in her normal voice. She nodded to herself.

“Yes, I could always count on Maddie to be there for me,” she said, her voice different again. “Maddie, come closer so we can talk. I have so much to tell you.”

There was no way in hell I was getting closer. I snapped out of my stupor and stumbled back into the hallway, calling for Mr. Brooks. He stepped out into the hallway in an instant, his face tired but his expression alert.

“What’s happening?” he asked as he rushed towards me. “Where’s Judith?”

I raised my trembling hand towards the open doorway of Cassie’s room. “She’s in there. She’s…she’s pretending like her reflection is Cassie and she’s talking to her.” I shook my head in fright. “And Mrs. Brooks is talking back, like she’s Cassie.”

I heard steps and turned my head to see Logan bounding up the stairs. His eyes zeroed in on me, his expression concerned.

“What’s happening?” he asked, getting to me in record time.

“Mrs. Brooks…” I trailed off, not wanting to say the words again.

Mr. Brooks stepped into Cassie’s bedroom. “Judith, what are you doing in here?” he asked softly.

“Cassie’s come to visit!” she said brightly, glancing at her husband in the mirror before looking back at herself. Her voice changed, the high-pitched tone eerie. “Daddy, come closer. I’ve missed you.”

I could see the tears streaming down Mr. Brooks’ face in the reflection of the mirror as he took his wife by the shoulders. Mrs. Brooks turned to him, her expression urgent.

“Charles, talk to her! I don’t know how long she’ll be here. She told me she has to go back to the other side permanently.” A radiant smile crossed her face. “I’m going to go with her. I’ll finally be together with my Cassie.” She raised her hand, patting her husband’s cheek tenderly. “I’ll come visit you, like Cassie visits me. You won’t be lonely, I promise.”

“Okay, Judith,” he said, his voice breaking. “Why don’t we talk about it tomorrow. Let’s go back to bed for tonight.”

“But Cassie’s here!” Mrs. Brooks protested, turning back to the mirror. She frowned. “Cassie? Where did you go? Please, honey! Come back!”

Mr. Brooks looked like a broken man as he ushered his wife out of the room. “We’ll see her again tomorrow,” he said softly. “Let’s go back to bed.”

Mrs. Brooks let her husband guide her out of the room, and they went back into their bedroom, closing the door behind them. I could only imagine the pain and anguish that Mr. Brooks was feeling. I put my hand up to my cheek, aware for the first time that it was wet with tears.

I didn’t resist when Logan led me to the guest room. I sat down on the bed, heartbroken by what I had just witnessed. I had always known Mrs. Brooks was sick, but it seemed as though she had now sunk into madness.

“Logan, what are you doing?” I frowned at him as he pushed me to lie down on the bed before stretching out beside me.

“Shh,” he said softly. “I’m not going to try anything. Just let me stay here, for my own peace of mind. I can’t handle you being out of my sight right now.”

I didn’t argue. I was too stricken by what I had just witnessed. I didn’t want to be alone. I was scared and depressed.

Neither of us slept. We lay there silently, lost in our own thoughts. Before long, dawn arrived, touching the room with its soft rays. Logan turned on his side, propping his head up on his arm and studying me.

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep? You must be tired. I’ll stay awake.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep for a long time.” I looked up at him, tears slipping out of my eyes. “I can’t get the image of Cassie’s mother looking at herself in the mirror out of my mind. The pure joy I saw on her face because she truly believed she was with Cassie.” I shuddered. “The way she talked to herself, thinking she was talking to her daughter.”

“She’ll get the help she needs at the hospital,” Logan said gently. “She can get better.”

I sighed, wiping the tears away. “I hope so.” I bit my lip. “Cassie’s suicide letter—what did you think of it?”

“It’s hard for me to say, since I don’t remember her,” Logan admitted. “But it was pretty cryptic. She said a lot without really saying anything.”

“I just can’t tell if she knew about us from the letter,” I whispered. “For so long, I wished she had left a note behind. Even if it had condemned me, at least I would know for sure if she had killed herself because of us. But it just left me feeling more confused.”

Logan brushed my hair off my forehead tenderly. “Whatever she meant in her letter, I can tell she had a lot of love for you. That should ease your mind.”

But it didn’t. I would never be completely at ease until I knew whether or not Cassie had killed herself because of my betrayal.

I heard footsteps in the hallway, so I got up and opened the door a crack. Mr. Brooks looked at me with a grim expression.

“Judith is still sleeping. I’m going to make a phone call.”

I nodded. I knew what that phone call would be.

We didn’t see Mrs. Brooks the rest of the morning because she stayed in her room. Mr. Brooks had made arrangements for her to be transported to the hospital, so we waited on pins and needles for them to arrive. It was mid-afternoon by the time they showed up, wearing uniforms that clearly indicated they were medical staff.

Mr. Brooks went upstairs to get his wife and I braced for whatever was about to happen. I was grateful when she greeted the transport people as if they were welcomed guests. Cassie’s father explained that they were going to the hospital, although he didn’t elaborate that she would be staying there. She went agreeably, her chatter indicating that she thought she was going to visit a sick friend.

I stopped Mr. Brooks before he climbed into the transport van. “Do you want us to follow you to the hospital?”

He shook his head, the deep lines on his face making him look much older. “No. Thank you, but I think it should be just Judith and me. It’s enough that you’re here now.” His expression was full of sorrow. “I don’t want anyone to witness what happens when she realizes she’s not leaving the hospital. I’m preparing for her to have a breakdown. She never would have wanted anyone to see her in that state.”

He climbed into the van and put his arm around his wife, who was talking to the driver about his children, as if this were a social call. I watched the van drive away, feeling both despair and a tiny bit of hope. Maybe this would bring Mrs. Brooks back.

There wasn’t anything left to do except leave for Chicago. I grabbed my stuff, and Logan and I wasted no time getting on the road. I turned the radio on, lapsing into silence. Logan respected my need for quiet and didn’t say anything. We were pretty close to Chicago when I finally spoke.

“Weren’t you supposed to start work today?” I asked. It felt safe to talk about the mundane.

“I can start tomorrow, it’s no big deal.” Logan glanced at me before returning his eyes to the road. “How are you feeling?”

I sighed. “Sad. Confused.” I rubbed my forehead. “Relieved that Cassie’s mother is finally getting the help she needs.”

“What about us?”

“What
about
us?” I asked, frowning. “There is no us.”

“That’s not true,” Logan said grimly. “I’m not letting you just run away.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at his statement. “I’m not running away. It’s more like I’m being chased away by your lies.” I looked out the window, asking him a question that had been weighing on my mind for a while. “I know you were looking at pictures of you and Kristina a couple of weeks ago. Is that what triggered you to want to be with her? Seeing how happy you guys used to be together?”

Logan’s grip on the steering wheel tightened. His voice was tense. “I thought maybe you had seen that I had looked at those pictures. I just happened to stumble onto them while I was on my computer when I couldn’t sleep. Who wouldn’t look at pictures of themselves? Seeing those pictures made me feel nothing.”

Before I could answer, my phone started to ring. When I looked down to see who was calling, I immediately silenced it. Answering Mack’s call in front of Logan was just asking for trouble. Unfortunately, Logan glanced down and saw the caller ID before I could put my phone away. His jaw tensed.

“Why is he calling you?”

I bristled at his autocratic tone. “It’s none of your business. We’re no longer together.”

“The hell we’re not.” Logan gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles turned white. “I told you nothing happened between me and Kristina.”

I made a sound of disbelief. “Oh, silly me. Just because you say nothing happened, I should believe you instead of my own two eyes.”

“It was a set-up,” Logan bit out. “I’ll prove it to you.”

“How exactly will you do that?” I scoffed. “I doubt Kristina is going to just admit to everything. And getting into fist fights isn’t going to endear me to you.”

Logan didn’t respond right away. When he finally spoke, his voice was low. “I went to the Half Pitcher the other night because you weren’t answering your phone and you weren’t answering your door. On the off chance you weren’t at home and not just ignoring me, I decided to try the bar.” He exhaled slowly before continuing. “You don’t know what it did to me to see you with Mack. He was fucking
touching
you again. I just lost it.”

“For the last time, nothing is going on between me and Mack.” Despite my words, there was no heat in my tone. I was tired of arguing about the same thing over and over again. We were at an impasse. I would never believe him about Kristina and he would never believe there was nothing between me and Mack. What else was there to do except go our separate ways?

I was relieved to see Logan pulling onto my street. I needed to get away from him. Being close to him made me want to forget everything that happened and just be with him. But I knew I could never be happy being with someone who could betray me in the worst way.

Logan stopped the car in front of my apartment. “When will I see you again?” His tone was even, but I could hear the undercurrent of fear in his voice.

“I think it’s a good idea if we spend some time apart. I’m not sure what our future is, if we even have one. Please just give me time. If we’re going to have any sort of chance, I just need some time.”

I wasn’t sure if my last statement was the truth or a lie to get Logan to stop badgering me. I couldn’t fathom getting back together with him after what he had done, but I also couldn’t imagine a life without him.

Logan didn’t look happy, but he nodded. I got out of the car and ran up the steps to my building, not looking back.