Of Loss & Betrayal (Madison & Logan Book 2) (21 page)

I thought Mr. Brooks was going to refuse to let Logan in, but then his shoulders slumped and he just stepped back to let us in. Mr. Brooks had always been a pillar of strength, but the man standing before me looked weak and frail.

“She’s in our bedroom,” he said. “I’ll take you up there.”

“Why don’t you stay downstairs?” I said to Logan. “I’ll let you know if I need you.”

Logan frowned. “Are you sure? I could wait outside the door.”

“It’s okay. Thanks, though.”

Logan didn’t look too happy, but he didn’t say anything further as I left him to follow Mr. Brooks upstairs. He paused outside the bedroom door before opening it.

“Please don’t say anything to upset her. She’s in a very fragile state right now and the wrong word could destroy her.” Mr. Brooks wrung his hands. “I know you think I’ve gone about this the wrong way. That I should force her to face the truth. I’ve tried, in my own way. But, anytime I allude to the fact that Cassie is dead, it sets her back so much. She can’t handle it. She can’t live in a world where Cassie isn’t alive, so I kept up the façade to keep her from hurting herself.” Mr. Brooks face was filled with anguish. “Because I can’t live in a world without her.”

My heart broke for him, and I promised to try not to upset Mrs. Brooks, although I wasn’t sure if that was possible. Mr. Brooks slowly opened the door and ushered me inside.

The curtains were all drawn, making the room dim. I saw Mrs. Brooks sitting up in bed under the covers, her hands folded on her lap as if she were expecting visitors. She had lost weight since the last time I had seen her, and her face was drawn, her cheeks hollow. Her head turned towards me when she heard us enter, and her gaunt face was transformed with a beaming smile.

“Madison!” she exclaimed, holding her hands out to me eagerly. I glanced at Mr. Brooks before stepping towards her, and I could see that his eyes were wet with unshed tears.

Mrs. Brooks’ grip was strong as she grasped my hands, at odds with her delicate appearance. I sat down on the edge of the bed next to her.

“I’m so happy you came,” she said, her eyes glowing. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you.”

“I’m sorry it’s been so long,” I said gently. “How are you doing?”

“Wonderful, now that you’re here.” She leaned in closer to me. “You’ve always been like a daughter to me. I told Charles my children wouldn’t abandon me.” She turned to Charles. “Let me have some time alone with Madison. We need to have some girl talk.”

Mr. Brooks hesitated, but then he finally left the room and closed the door behind him. Mrs. Brooks turned to me, her smile widening. “I thought you weren’t going to come.”

There was a lump in my throat, making it hard to swallow. “Are you feeling unwell? Do you think you should go see a doctor?”

Mrs. Brooks shook her head emphatically. “Oh, no. I’m perfectly fine. I’ve just been a little tired lately. But now that you’re here, I feel so energized.” She squeezed my hands. “Did Cassie come with you?”

My stomach dropped. I had promised Mr. Brooks that I wouldn’t say anything to upset her, but I also didn’t want to perpetuate the delusion. I settled for somewhere in between, since I really hadn’t had a chance to talk to Mr. Brooks about his wife seeing a doctor.

“No, she’s not here,” I answered. I glanced around her room. “It’s so dark in here. Why don’t we open up the curtains and get some light in here. Even though it’s cold, the sun is shining.”

“No!” I was taken aback by the fierceness of Mrs. Brooks’ refusal. Her stricken expression relaxed almost immediately and she gave an embarrassed laugh. “Light seems to give me headaches lately.” Her expression brightened. “How are your classes? Are you dating anyone?”

“I’m not in school anymore,” I said gently. My answer to her second question made my chest tighten. “And no, I’m not dating anyone.”

Mrs. Brooks frowned. “Not in school anymore? Why not, dear?”

I changed the subject, not knowing how to answer her question without upsetting her. I grasped at the first topic I could think of. “How was your Thanksgiving?”

Mrs. Brooks’ face fell. “Oh, it was awful. It was just me and Charles. Why couldn’t you come for dinner?” She continued speaking before I could answer. “Cassie already told me why she couldn’t come.” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Sometimes she goes to the other side.”

A chill went down my spine. “What do you mean?”

Mrs. Brooks gave me an impish smile, making her look younger than her years. “I always knew my Cassie was special, but I didn’t realize how special until recently. I finally realized why she’s gone so much. It’s because sometimes she’s dead.”

Fear clutched at me and my voice trembled when I spoke. “Where is she when she’s not dead?”

“She’s here with me, of course,” Mrs. Brooks answered, like it was the obvious answer. “But she’s lonely when she’s not with me, so she wants me to go with her.”

I wasn’t equipped to handle this. I wanted to get up and run out of the room to get Mr. Brooks, but she had a manacle grip on my hands.

“Is she…is she here now?” I asked, swallowing hard.

Mrs. Brooks frowned. “No, you would see her if she was.” Her countenance brightened. “But I think she’ll be here later tonight.”

I knew it was just Mrs. Brooks’ sickness talking, but her words scared me. She seemed so convinced that Cassie was visiting her, but of course it wasn’t possible.

“Do you mind if I step out for a minute?” I asked, careful to keep my tone neutral. “It was a long drive and I just want to freshen up a bit.”

“Of course,” Mrs. Brooks said, smiling. “I’ll be waiting for you to come back.”

I tried to return her smile, not really succeeding, but she didn’t seem to notice. Relief rushed through me when I closed the bedroom door behind me. It was like a weight had been lifted off my chest the moment I left the room. I went downstairs to find Mr. Brooks and Logan in the living room, although neither of them were talking. They both got up when I entered the room, but I indicated that they should both sit back down. I sat down next to Logan on the sofa, facing Mr. Brooks.

“How did it go?” Mr. Brooks asked, his voice hopeful. I now understood why he looked like he had aged a decade in one year.

“Not so good,” I said. My voice dropped, as if I were afraid she would overhear me although her bedroom was upstairs and far from the living room. “She said that sometimes Cassie is dead and sometimes she’s here with her. I’m not sure exactly what she means but it scares me.”

Mr. Brooks’ expression deflated. “That started a few nights ago. I’m not going to lie; it scares me, too.” His expression grew grim. “Especially when she tells me Cassie wants her to join her.”

“She needs to see a doctor. We’re not equipped to deal with her illness. I don’t know what the right thing to say to her is. We could be making the situation worse, not better.”

His face fell. “She’s seen a doctor. Multiple doctors. The past few months I began to realize that she was starting to get worse. I’ve been trying to get her to face the fact that Cassie is gone. I’ve taken her to doctor after doctor but they all say the same thing.” He looked at me with fear and desperation in his eyes. “They want her committed to a mental hospital. They say she needs in-patient psychiatric help.”

I took a deep breath before replying. “Is that such a bad thing?” I said, trying to be as sympathetic as possible. “I can’t imagine how hard it’s been for you to deal with her sickness all these years. Admitting her to a hospital means she’ll get the help she needs.”

“She’s may be deluded in some ways but she’s not dumb. She knows what the doctors are recommending.” Mr. Brooks’ face was stark with grief. “She told me she’d die in there. She begged me not to throw her away. No matter how I explain it to her, she believes being committed to a hospital means I’ve given up on her.” His expression turned fierce. “That will never happen. Not even if it means I have to sell my company and stay home with her every day.”

Logan had been silent this entire time, but when I felt him take my hand in his, I squeezed it in appreciation. I drew strength from his presence. Everything that had happened between us took a back seat to what was happening now, and I was just grateful for his support.

Mr. Brooks glanced at our intertwined hands, but surprisingly he didn’t seem to give it a second thought as he rubbed his forehead wearily. “It’s my fault, anyway. I let this go on far too long.”

“None of knew what to do,” I said, although truthfully, I believed that she should have gotten help a long time ago. “But we can make sure she gets the help she needs now.” I sighed heavily. “She’s expecting me to come back up.” My stomach churned at the thought. I was scared of what she would say next.

“I’ll go with you.”

I turned to Logan at his offer. “I don’t know how she’ll react to seeing you.”

“Maybe it’s a good idea for Logan to see Judith.”

I looked at Mr. Brooks in surprise. That was the last thing I expected him to say. He knew that Logan and I had been romantically involved last year and had been vehemently against it. His hostility had been clear when he had first seen Logan today. He didn’t know anything about Logan’s accident and what had happened between us, but I’m sure he assumed we were still a couple by our clasped hands.

“Are you sure?” I asked skeptically.

Mr. Brooks hesitated before responding. “She thinks of Logan fondly. I know I reacted badly to him showing up today, but it was a knee jerk reaction. More out of surprise than anything else.” He paused before continuing. “It might be a good idea if you two don’t act affectionate in front of her. She still thinks of Logan as Cassie’s boyfriend.” His eyes dropped to our clasped hands and his gaze raised to meet mine. “I know I was out of line when I accused you of betraying Cassie. She loved you and I think she would have been happy that you and Logan ended up together. After all, she loved both of you.”

Shame washed over me. Mr. Brooks didn’t know that we had, in fact, betrayed Cassie long ago. I pulled my hand out of Logan’s, and I felt his body tense, although he didn’t say a word. He followed me as I got up and went up the stairs. The walk down the hallway to Mrs. Brooks’ bedroom filled me with dread. I paused before opening the door and turned to Logan.

“I’m not sure how she’s going to react to seeing you,” I said softly. “If she gets upset, it’s probably a good idea for you to leave the room.”

Logan nodded, and then I opened the door. Mrs. Brooks was exactly the way I left her. She smiled at me, but her face lit up when she saw Logan.

“Logan!” she exclaimed. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

Even though I had told Logan everything about Cassie’s death and her mother’s sickness, I had been apprehensive about how he would handle it face to face. After all, he didn’t remember Cassie, let alone Mrs. Brooks. To his credit, he smiled and took her outstretched hands in his.

“It’s good to see you,” he said.

Mrs. Brooks pulled him closer, and then leaned to her side to look behind him. “Did Cassie come with you?” she asked hopefully.

Logan glanced at me before answering. “No, she’s not here.”

Mrs. Brooks sighed but didn’t look too upset. “I didn’t think she would be. She probably won’t be here until later tonight.” She smiled at us. “I’ll hope you’ll both stay so you can see her.”

I took a deep breath, telling myself that I shouldn’t be afraid. Mrs. Brooks was just having delusions.

“When you see her, is she alive?” I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.

“Of course, dear. She’s only dead when she’s on the other side.” She said it so matter-of-factly that it sent chills through my body.

“Do you remember how long ago she died?” I hated to bring up her suicide, but I thought it was important to see how grounded in reality her imaginings were.

Mrs. Brooks looked at me oddly. “Of course, I remember. Don’t you? You’re the one who found her.”

I nodded stiffly. “Yes, I remember. That’s something I’ll never forget.”

Mrs. Brooks’ expression turned sad. “It was such an awful way for her to go. I’m just glad she left a note to say goodbye.”

I froze. There had been no suicide letter. What was she talking about?

“I think you must be mistaken, Mrs. Brooks,” I said gently. “Cassie didn’t leave behind a letter.”

Mrs. Brooks gave me an embarrassed look. “I’m sorry, Madison. I found it in her things that were sent home from school after she died. I never told you about it because it made things too real.” Her face brightened. “That was before I knew she could come back.”

“Do you still have the note?” I told myself there really was no suicide note. There couldn’t be, yet a pit of dread started to grow in my stomach.

Mrs. Brooks nodded towards her dresser. “It’s in my jewelry box. It’s probably time that you read the contents. Go ahead.”

I didn’t realize I was trembling until Logan put a hand on my arm. “Are you sure you want to do this?” he asked, his expression worried. “Maybe you should wait.”

I shook my head. I had waited too long as it was. Almost a decade. As I walked to the dresser, I told myself there would probably be no letter in the jewelry box. It was just another one of Mrs. Brooks’ delusions. Yet my hand was shaking when I reached to open the jewelry box.