Obsession (31 page)

For a moment, I wondered if that was just the hypnosis bullshit Leo had done to me talking, but quickly dismissed that thought. I’ve always been loyal, sometimes blindly and painfully so, and I just wasn’t the kind of person that would turn on someone like that. Not only would it harm Leo, it would also endanger the entire Cordova family. Yes, they were drug-dealing bad people, but they had good hearts—in their own messed up ways. Maybe I was making excuses, but I couldn’t help feeling compassion for them, especially Fernando. He’d paid the ultimate price for their criminal lifestyle, and he deeply regretted it.

With a press of my thumb, I hung up the phone, not wanting to talk to anyone right now as I tried to figure out the conflicted, tangled knot of my feelings.

Restless, I went to the door, not surprised in the least to find myself locked in. Thankfully there was a TV that dropped down from the ceiling and I flopped back into the bed, scanning through the channels as I flip-flopped between relaxation, and guilt that I was feeling relaxed. The desert storm pounded the house now, vibrating the windows and drawing my gaze to watch the tempest. Once again the scent of Leo’s cologne comforted me and I grabbed his pillow, telling myself I was just trying to get comfy, not surround myself in his scent.

In the days since I’d taken that beating because of my association with Leo, I’d had a lot of time to think about my situation and my options. The harsh reality was, I really had none. It was either live a life based on lies with Leo, or start somewhere new, without the support of my girls.

Or at least the support of Joy.

Shit, who am I kidding? I’m part of the world of the Cordova cartel now, any ignorance that I might have had at one time no longer shielding me from the criminals. Because of Leo and Judith’s scheming, I’d drawn the attention of predators, and they wouldn’t hesitate to make their move once I was away from the protection of the cartel. I knew it, and more importantly, Leo knew it as well.

Once again it felt as if he’d taken my choices away from me, forcing me to live the life he believed I should have. And the thing was, life with Leo wasn’t bad—in fact, it was good. So good I knew it had to all be a lie, and I hated the fact that I felt like I was deeply in love with someone who’d betray me like this.

With a heavy heart, I watched some show about small houses and tried to cut through the complicated tangle of my thoughts.

Warm lips brushed over my shoulder and a heavy, naked, and slightly furry hard body slid up against my back, cocooning me in his warmth and pressing me into the softness of the bed.

He’d shaved recently, and the brush of his smooth skin against mine was a luxuriant decadence that was as sweet as candy.

Then came the warm rasp of his tongue as he licked down the valley of my spine, pausing to kiss me here and there.

He’d reached my now wiggling hips by the time my brain caught up with reality, when it dawned on me that he was kissing my faded bruises.

I tried to roll away, but he easily pinned me beneath his weight before jerking away the pillows from under my face so I could breathe.

“Get the hell off of me!”

“No.” He rocked his hips against my ass, the globes of my cheeks hugging his thick cock.

Hard…he was so hard against me.

I needed him.

No, fuck that, it was only the drugs talking.

“Leo, this is not going to happen.”

“Oh yes, it is.”

He flipped me over and before I could protest, wrapped something around my wrist. I moved to pull it off, but he grabbed my other hand and secured a familiar black bondage restraint around that wrist as well.

I tried to tell myself the full-body shiver racing through me was one of disgust, not anticipation, as I realized he’d pulled out our under-the-bed restraint system. I’d spent many, many hours in pleasurable bondage with these restraints and tried to pretend it was an automatic conditioned reaction or drugs, not true desire, that had my pussy wet.

“Don’t you dare even think about it.”

Ignoring me, he grabbed my ankle and dodged my violent kicks, pinning me to the bed tighter than usual.

Good call on his part because I was once again raging mad. “You let me go right now!”

He merely shook his head and smiled, his thick erection standing out from his body as he crawled over me to suck, then bite at my nipple.

Oh that felt so good, damn him, and my body lit up with fireworks.

Kissing his way between the valley of my breasts, he then worshiped my other small mound, drawing choking noises from me as I forced back the moans.

Not that it mattered, he knew my body well enough to read my arousal. My musk hung heavy in the air, blending with his and triggering nothing but happy memories. It was impossible to have him touching me like this and maintain my sanity. Even as I tried to tell myself over and over again this was all an illusion, fake, the result of drugs and trickery, it felt so, so good in a way that was
very
real.

“I’m not turned on,” I blurted as his gentle kisses moved down my body before he rubbed his cheek against my belly. “It’s the drugs.”

“There are no drugs,” he said with a soft chuckle. “Well, other than the sedative.”

I thought back to how horny I’d been earlier and frowned at him. “Yes there was.”

He lifted his head to look at me with a slight grin. “I think I’d know if I drugged you.”

The sight of his broad shoulders between my opened thighs was erotic and my clit swelled further, to my embarrassment. “No, no, no. This isn’t real.”

“It absolutely is. The sooner you realize that, the sooner we can move on.”

“Move on? Are you insane! You broke my heart!”

“I know, and I told you I would. I also promised I’d help you put it back together, and I will.”

The tip of his rough finger skimmed my wet folds and I tried to keep my voice venomous as I hissed, “What, you’re going to fuck me better?”

“Something like that.”

“That won’t happen, because I hate you!”

“You keep telling yourself that, baby girl. Let me know how it works out for you.”

“Fuck you.”

That curse would have been a lot more effective if my hips weren’t chasing his light touch. Back and forth, back and forth, then a little rub around the outside of my clit, tugging the hood back a little to reveal my swollen nub.

I must be drugged, had to be, because my arousal was off the charts and way beyond what I’d ever felt with another man. I held my breath, straining when he spread my vaginal lips open like he usually did before he was about to feast on me. There was the barest whisper of heat over my folds and I gripped my hands hard enough that little darts of pain raced through me.

Then he pulled back, leaving me aching and open, ready to beg him but too stubborn to let a word past my clenched lips.

“Now that I have your attention,” he purred, “let’s talk about Fernando’s late-night visit to your room.”

I froze beneath him, then twitched when he pinched my clit. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

In one smooth move, he was above me again, a shift of his hips rubbing his cock over my spread pussy, the ridge around his thick head hitting me just right. “Don’t lie to me, I don’t like it.”

“And…I…don’t like…”

My words trailed off as, with each pass of his hips, the tip of his erection pressed against my entrance, just enough to make me throb with need.

“Stop lying. Fernando confessed it to me, his newfound sense of guilt and morality working in my favor for once.”

“Please, don’t hurt him.”

Leo actually rolled his eyes at me, snapping me out of my growing panic. “I’m not going to hurt him. I know you think I’m some psychopath, but I’m not. I’m closer to a sociopath, but I don’t fit that profile either. I can form bonds, friendships, and love, but only with certain people. Fernando is one of those people, so I would never hurt him.”

Tears pooled in my eyes as the feeling of betrayal swept through me once more. “You brainwashed me.”

“I absolutely did.”

“When?”

“The night we met at Obsession. I brought you home and hypnotized you before I returned you to your apartment.”

“And drugged me.”

His tip pressed against me and he slid just the barest bit in, enough to stretch but not satisfy. “I did.”

“You made me love you!”

“I didn’t.”

“Don’t lie to me! Fernando said you did.”

“Fernando was talking out his ass. He has no idea what I said to you or how I influenced your thoughts, he only knows what he’s speculated, because I haven’t told anyone all of what went on, not even Judith.”

“He wasn’t there?”

“No one was there.”

“But he made it sound like he was.”

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Fernando is fighting some demons right now. Going on and off his meds, along with heavy drinking and depression, has fucked with his mind. He only thinks he knows what I said, based on what Judith wanted, but he has no idea. But one thing I’ve told him—I’ve told
everyone
, over and over again—is that I cannot make you love me.”

“Another lie.”

“Why? Because you
do
love me?”

“Of course I do, with everything I have,” I shouted into his face, “but it’s not real!”

With one growling thrust, he was in me, stretching me painfully, while all I could do was scream out in surprise as he pushed his way in. “It’s as real as my cock.”

My neck arched to the side and my shoulders hurt as I strained against my bonds, at once wanting to get closer and farther away. “I don’t want this.”

“Now who’s lying?”

Me. I was a big fat dirty liar with a big fat cock stuffed inside of her.

My inner walls squeezed down on him as I twitched and moaned, overwhelmed by sensation.

“Hannah, look at the TV.”

I ignored him, intent on moving my hips as much as I was able to so I could orgasm and start the blissful descent into subspace, where I would finally find some much-needed peace.

He leaned up and slapped my breast, the sting only adding to my pleasure.

Then he pulled out so, once again, only the tip of his dick was inside of me.

“More,” I snarled up at him.

“Not until you turn your head.”

When I did, all the fight drained out of me—because on the TV was a still image of me, in my little black dress, smiling up at Leo in an unfamiliar room.

A shudder ran through me, but this time it wasn’t desire, and I tightened painfully as he slid back fully inside of me.

Leo brushed my hair back from my face, but I didn’t take my gaze from the screen. “I taped this for you, so someday you could watch it and understand how far I went to make you happy from the start, how much you mean to me.”

“Please,” I whispered, “I don’t want to watch.”

“Then you’ll listen.”

I was tempted to close my eyes and hum, but when Leo pressed play, I stared with horrified fascination as my image on the screen confessed my deepest and darkest desires to him. Not just my adoration of the taboo, but my intimate dreams of a family and the love I so deeply desired.

The urge to cry became too great as Leo then put me into some kind of fucked-up trance and began what I was sure was the brainwashing portion of the night.

Everything up to that point hadn’t been so bad. I wasn’t sure how I felt about him encouraging me to enjoy pain with sex, but I was about to watch him take away my free will, and I loathed him for it.

On the video, Leo was telling me that I couldn’t betray him, that I would never endanger myself or my children, that I would be loyal to him and how I would never reveal him to his enemies.

“You bastard!”

I tried to buck him off, but he put his hand over my mouth then simply growled, “Watch.”

I did—and my outrage began to fizzle as the Leo on the screen continued to instruct me.

Not to fall in love with him, like I was so sure he had, but to…well, to heal myself.

He told me to let go of the past, to release the pain my parents had instilled in me, and to love myself. Leo didn’t order me to be his sex slave, he told me that I was worth loving, that I was amazing, and that I needed to stand up for myself and demand the respect I deserved. He told me to recognize that I was a strong woman, a beautiful woman, a treasure.

Over and over he repeated those positive messages, his whole body tense while he stared down at me as if he could force me to believe that I was an amazing woman worthy of love.

Instead of turning me into a robot, Leo had attempted to heal my damaged psyche.

The video ended, frozen on an image of him tenderly kissing my forehead.

“Do you understand, now, what I did?”

His hand was still over my mouth, so I nodded as tears spilled down my cheeks.

The rip of the Velcro was loud as he freed my wrists from the restraints. “Then you know that I never wanted to enslave you, never wanted your forced affection. I wanted to heal you, wanted to be able to do the impossible and erase the damage your asshole parents did, and this was the best way to do that.”