Obsession (29 page)

I thought back to that terrible night, remembering how I literally couldn’t speak. “I don’t know what was wrong with me. I tried to say yes but I couldn’t, it was like someone was choking me. You didn’t do anything wrong, I was trying to say yes. And please, please don’t blame yourself, okay? I may not look amazing right now, but I’m going to be all right.”

Joy took my uninjured hand in her own. “We’re so, so lucky Mark came to pick you up.”

I frowned, looking over at Judith watching us with a carefully pleasant expression. It reminded me of the fake mask Leo wore around people. A pang went through my chest as I wondered if he wore one around me as well, if the intimacy I thought we’d had was all an illusion.

“Yes, very lucky.”

My stomach gurgled and Joy laughed. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. Um…how’s Kayla?”

Closing her eyes, Joy let out a low breath. “That stupid bitch is in some expensive rehab out in California. That stuff she was snorting? That wasn’t coke, it was
heroin
.”

“What?”

“I know,
heroin
!” Joy shook her head, her curls bouncing as she clenched her jaw. “I talked with her for a little bit before she left, tried to find out what the fuck was going on with her. Basically, she’s a helpless mess. She failed out of all her classes last semester because of her partying, which only led to more partying.”

“No way.”

“Yes way. She fell in with a bad group of people with expensive tastes, spoiled trust-fund babies like her, but with much bigger funds. She tried to keep up with their jet-set lifestyle but couldn’t. All her credit cards are maxed, and she can’t touch her other trust funds until she’s twenty-five. But did that bitch want to deal with reality? No. Since she couldn’t afford her own shit anymore, she hooked up with Manny and basically whored herself out for drugs.”

“Shit,” I whispered. “How did I not see this?”

Joy shrugged. “It’s only gotten really bad since you started seeing Leo these past few weeks. Kayla’s always been jealous of you, and to see you so obviously happy, with a great and successful guy who worshiped the ground you walked on, you really made her feel like the loser she is.”

I wanted to laugh, because if Kayla knew what kind of man Leo really was, she’d consider herself lucky to be alone.

With a sigh, Joy patted my hand. “Please thank Leo again for letting me stay at his place, and thank Mark for putting up with me.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Since our place is trashed, Mark offered me one of the spare bedrooms at his house.”

“Oh, uh, right. So you’re staying with Mark?”

“Yep, he’s a very nice guy, quiet, but nice. Cute, but no romance vibe happening between us at all. It’s more like living with my older brother.”

“And there’s enough room for you? You don’t feel crowded?”

“No way, his place is freaking sweet! It even has a pool, and Honey is awesome.”

My lower lip trembled as I thought about the loving dog that I had to somehow rescue from Leo…so I could do what? Live with her on the street while I’m homeless? A tear escaped and I brushed it away with a shaky hand.

“Why are you crying?” Joy asked as she rubbed my arm, unintentionally hitting bruises the long sleeves of my nightgown hid.

“I just…I’m tired and my pain meds are wearing off.”

“Shoot, why didn’t you tell me?”

Joy went to stand but I gripped her arm. “No, please, stay.”

“You need to sleep and heal, so you can come home and show me around your new crazy house. Leo took me on a short tour when I arrived, and I gotta say, no wonder you were never home. Our place must have seemed like a third world country shit hole to you after spending time in Leo’s mansion. Hell, now I’m mad I never made time to take you up on your invitation to have dinner there. Oh, and your chef says hi, and he’s been working on some new recipes in anticipation of you coming home. And the housekeeper says hi as well. They all really like you, Hannah, and send their love.”

“That’s—that’s very nice of them.”

“And girl, that fire pit Leo has in the middle of his freaking pool! You have to talk him into letting us have a party there so my parents can meet him. I told them all about Leo and how he’s taking such good care of you. My mom thought it was soooo romantic!”

She obviously thought things were still peachy between Leo and me, and I didn’t dare tell her otherwise. “Yeah, romantic.”

Trying to cheer me up, she stood and straightened her denim dress. “And just think. Once the doctor gives you the okay to travel and come home, we’ll be able to hang out. Kind of. I mean I still have work, and we’ll both have school, but think about the fun we’ll have together! We can make sangrias and hang out in that fab pool.”

“Sounds great, honey.”

She gave me a careful kiss on my forehead, one of the few unbruised places on my face, then left in a flurry of curls and smiles. “Okay, I need to go pick up the books Leo ordered for you.”

“Books?”

“Yeah, class starts next week.”

“But I can’t go to class.”

Joy stared at me. “Didn’t he tell you? In order to make sure you graduate on time, Leo arranged it so you can take the classes online until you can physically make it back.”

“But—how did he do that?”

Joy grinned, her dimples popping. “I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m pretty sure Leo can do just about anything he puts his mind to. He’s kinda scary, but he loves you beyond reason so he’d move heaven and hell to make you happy.”

I lay back into my pillows, closing my eyes and struggling to control my breathing as her words hit me like a blow to the chest.

“Hannah?” Judith asked in a soft voice. “Are you all right.”

“Yeah, just a little dizzy.”

The sweet scent of Joy’s strawberry-and-peach body mist filled my senses as she gave me a gentle hug. “Miss you, babe. Sleep tight and heal up so you can come home.”

“I will. Love you.”

Giving my good hand a squeeze, she said softly, “Love you too.”

She left and I still didn’t open my eyes.

The room seemed so silent, so empty without her bright presence in it.

“She thinks I’m going to live with Leo.”

“
Are
you going to live with him?”

“Not willingly.”

“Because he’s a killer.”

“Among other things, yes.”

“You do know he only tortures the guilty, right?”

I opened my eyes and managed to sit up a little bit. “What are you talking about?”

“Take those men that hurt you, for example. When Leo killed them, he did the world a favor by ridding it of absolute scum.”

The chocolate shake in my stomach lurched and I had to swallow a few times before I could say, “He killed them?”

“Yes. And he made them pay for hurting you, just like he’s made hundreds of child molesters, rapists, murderers, and psychopaths pay. He dispenses justice in a way the broken courts of this land never will, a justice that no matter how brutal, could never exceed the brutality of the crimes these bastards had committed. That same justice was brought down on the men who beat you so badly, men that would have gleefully raped you to death, and recorded it for a snuff-porn website they help run.”

A cold sweat broke out over me as I remembered the blows of their fists, the men’s foul words about tearing me open and passing me around, giving me to their dogs to fuck. “Okay, it does make me feel a little better to know they’re dead.”

“It should. Those men will never harm you again, and Leo made an example of them, showing the world what would happen if anyone were to ever hurt you. He loves you.”

“No he doesn’t, it’s all a lie.”

“He does, and all the denial in the world won’t change that. You need to realize how very lucky you are to have a good man like Leo, how very blessed you are to be with a man who thinks the world is lit by your smile. I know this is a lot for you to take in, that you’ve lived a very sheltered life, but you need to let go of your fear and anger, it’s blinding you to the truth. Forgive him, Hannah. Give him a chance to explain, please. He’d do anything, anything at all to make you happy, and I know you love him. That kind of feeling doesn’t just go away.”

I couldn’t argue with that so instead I said, “I’m getting a headache.”

She looked like she wanted to say more, but instead nodded. “I’ll have the chef prepare a light dinner for you when you wake.”

“Thank you.”

In the quiet of the room, my heartache overwhelmed me and I cried, wishing Leo was here with me. Even if I ignored him, his presences soothed me, held me together in some intangible way. I did love him, so much, and I wondered if what Judith said was possible, if I could forgive him, if I could accept him for who he was. Was I brave enough to be the wife of a cartel member? Was I out of my damn mind for even considering it?

The truth, both bitter and sweet, was that I adored Leo, loved him enough that maybe someday I could find it in me to forgive him, to live the beautiful life he’d tried to build for me.

Fuck, I wish he was here right now to hold me, to make everything better again, because I was so lost and didn’t know what to do.

Those thoughts swirled around in my head, drawing me into a restless sleep.

I have no idea how long I was out, but someone shaking my shoulder woke me up.

The first thing I became aware of was the stench of alcohol, and when I opened my eyes, I found Fernando standing next to my bed, clearly agitated and shifting from foot to foot.

“What are you doing?” I asked in a thick voice.

While Diego and Ramón had come to visit me, Fernando had made himself scarce.

“I only have a few minutes before the cameras to your room cycle back, so you need to listen to me.”

My mind shook off the remains of sleep and I sat up, smoothing my hair back from my face as I did. “What is it?”

“You’ve been brainwashed by both Leo and my mother to love him.”

“What?”

“Your feelings? They aren’t real. Leo made you love him. I’m sorry. I should have told you sooner.” He glanced over at the door, distressed and swaying. “I didn’t know if it worked until I heard you yesterday, when you were with Joy.”

“How—”

“Cameras, they have cameras everywhere. Even in your apartment. Now shut up and listen, time is running out. I knew his brainwashing had worked on you when you couldn’t tell his enemy his name. When you couldn’t speak? When the words wouldn’t come? That was their brainwashing trigger kicking in to make sure you didn’t betray Leo.”

I thought I was going to be sick. “No, that’s not true, that’s science-fiction stuff. Brainwashing isn’t real.”

His humorless laugh made the hair on my arms rise up. “Oh, it’s real. Those emotions you feel? They’re hypnotic triggers left by Leo after he drugged you and warped your mind.”

“No, no I do love him. That can’t be faked. I
do
.” My voice had a desperate pitch to it as everything started to fall into horrible place, making sense in a devastating fashion.

I had no idea what love was. Time and time again, I’d fool myself into thinking this was it, the forever guy, and every time I’d been let down. But being brainwashed into thinking I loved someone? I couldn’t even process the idea.

“You know how hot you get for him? He forced that as well with a drug we call D128—an honest-to-god aphrodisiac that can make a woman desperate to fuck. Leo used it on you to make sure you gave him what he wanted.”

“But why? Why would they do that to me?”

“Because Leo wants to keep you, make you his wife, but women can’t be trusted.” His head hung and his whole body sagged like his strings had been cut. “I’m sorry, I promised myself no more innocents would get hurt, that I’d make it up to Jason…but look at you.”

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Everything they told you about my wife and son was a fucking lie! The evil bitch that was my wife had my son kidnapped and held for ransom, she was greedy and stupid, believing the cartel she gave my son to wouldn’t harm him. Instead—instead they killed him, and then my mother killed her. Mom and Leo devised a way to make sure no woman would ever betray us again, would ever sacrifice her child like my dead wife did. So they picked you, a perfectly innocent little girl that Leo fixated on for whatever reason. You’re their experiment in loyalty, and you passed the test.”

“Jesus.”

His wristwatch beeped and he darted to the door. “If I were you, I’d keep this conversation between us. The cameras will be back on you soon, so you might want to pretend to sleep.”

With that, he left me staring at the tangle of blankets, my already shattered world splintering into nothing.

Leo

In total despair, I stared at Hannah and willed her to acknowledge my existence. For well over a week it had been going on like this, I’d talk to Hannah, try to get her to listen to reason, and she’d pretend I wasn’t even here. And she was good at it.

Nothing I said seemed to penetrate the wall she’d built around herself. It was like she’d never even loved me. Everyone told me to give her time, to let her adjust, but something was wrong. If she was mad at me, I could talk with her, get her to at least give me one brief taste of her light before she hid it away again, but nothing I said made a difference. She didn’t care that the men I’d tortured to death on her behalf had brutalized dozens of girls in the past. She didn’t care when Diego explained how the Cordova cartel actually helped protect people and gave them good lives. And most of all, she didn’t care that I was dying without her.

She’d wake up, eat, then stare out the window like a robot until her silence drove me mad, making me flee the one thing I craved most.

The only time she became animated was when she was doing schoolwork, and even then she’d only do it if I wasn’t around, so I had to force myself to stay away.

Once again the terrible pressure of her silence forced all the air from my lungs, leaving me desperate for a breath only she could provide.

Honestly, I’d thought by now she’d have forgiven me.

Instead, she got worse every day.

After telling her how Mark had trained Honey to open the door to the fridge using a towel, and grab him a beer, I went to touch her, and like always, she flinched away before I could make contact.

That, that flinch, was the only thing that gave me any hope at all.

If my touch still had the power to hurt, it also had the power to heal, but Judith had warned me not to push things with Hannah, and for now I was listening to her advice.

Fuck it all if I knew how to fix this breech between us.

Hannah was miserable, sad down to her core, and so hurt it made me bleed on the inside for her.

My phone vibrated and I saw a text from Fernando, asking me to meet him in the game room.

Delaying as long as I could, hoping she’d at least look at me, I finally gave up, drinking in her beautiful profile, still as a statue, like a starving man. “I have to go, Hannah.”

Her long, dark hair gleamed as she cracked her neck, then went back to ignoring me, the brief glimpse of life slowly seeping away like grains of sand running through my fingers until I was left with only her shell.

With a heavy heart, I left her alone again, knowing as soon as I was gone she’d relax, then stretch out and go about her day, trapped inside of a cage I never intended her to be in.

I ignored everyone as I stalked through the halls of the Cortez manor, the urge to bring Hannah home with me tugging at my mind. I needed her in our bed, in our house, where she’d remember everything we had together, how good we were. Leaving her here was getting harder and harder, no matter how much Judith said Hannah needed space to heal.

I think Judith felt guilty about what happened between Hannah and myself, and her role in it, so she was treating Hannah with kid gloves.

I passed through the large, arched entryway to the game room, basically a massive finished basement that held shit like pool tables, poker tables, video games, and just about every grown-up toy known to man.

Fernando sprawled out on the far side of the room, a beer dangling from one hand, a joint burning in the other.

He’d managed to gain back some of the weight he’d lost, but he still looked ill and his diet of mainly alcohol wasn’t helping. The pale red shirt hung off his broad shoulders and the hollows of his cheeks were still deep enough to give his face a hauntingly gaunt look. When his reddened eyes met mine, I inwardly sighed.

He was wasted.

“Gotta tell you something, bro.” Fernando took a hit of the joint, then put it out and set the almost full beer on the table.

Okay, maybe not wasted. His voice and hands were steady, and his clothes were clean. To my surprise, I noticed he’d trimmed up his beard and that his teeth were brushed. The air of sadness still clung to him, but not the stench of depression.

“What is it?”

“First, let me say you have every right to be pissed. What I did was out of line, no matter how good my intentions.”

A sinking feeling dropped my stomach to my feet. “What did you do?”

“Last week, I told Hannah you brainwashed her into loving you, and that her feelings for you weren’t real.”

He had just enough time to register the mistake of sitting too close to me before I was on him, my hands wrapped around his neck, determined to choke the life out of him.

Unfortunately, Fernando, when he was sober, was a ruthless fighter who was more than my match because of his freakish flexibility. With a grunt, he broke my hold then kicked me back, his foot to my gut almost knocking the wind out of me.

So pissed I couldn’t even breathe without growling, I launched myself at him again and we rolled around the room, breaking shit, throwing shit, and having a no-holds-barred brawl.

My nose was bleeding freely by the time someone heard the chaos and broke us up.

Fernando’s formerly clean shirt was splattered with blood, and I was pretty sure his once pretty nose was also broken, thanks to a table leg to the face.

Furious, I tried to shake off the men holding me back, but we must have been fighting for a long time because my body was already filled with the post-adrenaline-rush shakes.

“What in the hell is going on in here?” Jose roared.

Fernando and I snarled at each other, right up to the point when Jose smacked first me, then Fernando, in the back of the head.

“That fucking bastard betrayed me!” I roared at Fernando.

“I was trying to do the right thing, you fuck! I didn’t know you actually loved her!”

Jose stepped between us with a Taser. “Either you two start making sense, or I’m going to electrocute both of you until you do.”

Knowing this wasn’t an idle threat—Jose had used this method in the past to break up his hot-headed sons—I managed to spit out, “He told Hannah I didn’t love her, and that I only brainwashed her into thinking she loved
me
.”

Jose’s face dropped, his wrinkles more pronounced as he turned on his eldest. “You didn’t.”

The fire left Fernando’s eyes and he sagged against the men holding him. “I fucked up,
Papi
. I thought it was all bullshit, that they were fucking this innocent girl over. She almost died because your brainwashing was strong enough to keep her from saying your name, Leo, because it would have put you in danger. She literally couldn’t speak because of your mind-fuck! That is some seriously messed-up shit.”

Guilt hit me in an uncomfortable rush. “I didn’t intend for that to happen.”

“But it did.” He shrugged off the guards. “Only I was wrong about one thing. You
do
love her, and it’s real. She loves you as well. I know you keep saying you didn’t brainwash her to love you—”

“I didn’t,” I growled yet again, wondering when in the hell anyone was going to believe me.

“I know, I know. Fuck, I’m messed up, Leo. My brain isn’t thinking right and…I need to go away for a while. Just get away from all of this and try to figure out what I’m going to do with my life besides waste it wishing I was dead.”

Jose clasped his son’s shoulder, his hammered-gold wedding band gleaming against his wrinkled brown skin. “Anything you need, we’re here for you.”

“I know, Dad, but I have to do this on my own. Don’t worry. I’m over the whole killing myself bullshit. Obviously I still have stuff to do here on earth before God lets me see Jason again, so I need to figure out what it is and get to it.”

Jose looked like he wanted to argue, but nodded instead. “I understand. Have you told your mother?”

“Do you see her trying to chloroform me?”

Everyone in the room laughed while Jose gave his son a wry grin. “This is true.”

They hugged, Fernando smearing blood on his father’s clothes, before he hugged me as well, our fight forgotten as I held him tight.

“Thank you for telling me.”

He released me then nodded. “You want my advice?”

“No.”

“Well, you’re going to get it anyways. Stop fucking listening to my mother. She may think she knows what she’s talking about, but she has no clue how your relationship with Hannah works, only you do. While distance may be what my mom needs in order to forgive someone, I don’t think Hannah’s like that. You’ll need to convince her that you love her, and allowing her to lock herself away in her mind isn’t gonna get her to pay attention.”

He said the words I’d been already thinking, and I nodded. “Maybe I’ve given her too much space.”

“I don’t blame you, the whole situation is royally screwed up, and I didn’t make it any easier. But if you have a chance with Hannah, any chance at all, you need to make your move, and quick.”