Obesssion (9 page)

But Joe had been sweet. I felt… comfortable with him, as though I’d known him a long time, instead of just a few hours. We’d sat together in Anita’s sunny kitchen while she fed Mindy. Jon had been preparing food for us while keeping up a stream of light chatter, interspersed with Anita’s comments and Mindy’s gurgles. I’d been in fits of laughter hearing about their disastrous attempts at DIY, a ready-to-assemble highchair that had taken them the better part of a day to construct and had then fallen apart.

Joe had blended in easily, sitting back in his chair texting and fiddling with his phone. He muttered about a deadline approaching. I think he preferred to stay on the edge of the group. I got that impression about him.

I stopped for petrol about half way, flicking a text to Gabe while I was there.

Hi. Should be home in an hour-ish, have you eaten yet? S xx

Whether it was the distraction of the day, or the quiet hours spent behind the wheel, I’d reconsidered our activities last night—how Gabe had been with me. At no time had he hurt me, and I
had
given him permission to do anything he liked. If I hadn’t specified what was off limits, that was my fault. He’d been tender when he came up to bed and, for once, I’d managed to please him. So what if he liked slightly kinky sex. I knew from the myriad of people I’d interviewed that it was quite normal to harbour fantasies, and Gabe had just been given the opportunity to enact them. I’d let him off the leash and we’d both benefitted from it. I smiled as I realised another thing. I would now have the chance to have Gabe satisfy
my
request for one night.

My phone beeped a reply.

Not eaten, should I cook? Or if you’re in town, you could pick up something? G xx

In town? Of course, I’d been following up research leads all day. I had to remember that.

No problem, I’ll do that. C U later, S xx

I should be back in Manchester around 7:00 p.m., plenty of time to collect Chinese takeaway from Gabe’s favourite restaurant. From there it was only a fifteen minute drive home. I sang along some more. Life was suddenly, inexplicably good.

4.8 Josh

I’d had this dream before, it was an old one. I stepped into it, as comfortable and familiar as an old pair of shoes.

I stood at the window gazing out at the night sky, watching as a shooting star flared in a moment of brilliance and then burned out. The sea lay before me, moonlight playing across the undulating surface in a flickering trail, shifting and restless. My hands pressed against the cool glass and my body felt too hot, as though I had a fever. I could smell sandalwood, an incense stick perhaps. The room was quiet, dark behind me where I knew the bed lay.

As I waited, I heard the distinctive creak of the mattress, the rustle of bedding, bare feet whispering across the carpet to my side. My eyes were fixed on the sky. It hadn’t happened yet, whatever it was. A bare arm snaked around my naked waist, pale skinned and slender. Silken strands of hair fell across my chest as she buried her face in my shoulder.

“
Come back to bed. You’re still not well.”

I smiled over her head, holding her to me, absorbing her perfume. Now I could smell flowers, lily, and a hint of rose. Her skin felt like velvet against mine. She was my lover, the fixed point in my life, the centre of my universe. I had kissed her a hundred times before, breathed her scent, and stroked her hair more times than I could count.
“Bed,” she repeated, a little firmer this time.

Acquiescing, I allowed her to guide me the few steps, her arm still looped around me. Yes, I had a fever, but I knew it had been worse than this. The sheets were delightfully cool against my skin, the pillows soft. Slipping in beside me, she reached across to turn out my light, but I caught her hand.
“I want to watch you.”

This was our last time together. I knew this with painful clarity. Our last chance to make love.

She lay beside me, our bodies pressed together from shoulder to thigh, butterfly kisses raining across my chest. Gentle hands drifted across my stomach, teasing, searching, finding me hard and aching for her. I slipped one arm beneath her, around her, pulling her closer. I couldn’t tell where my body ended and hers began. One hand raking through her hair, coaxing her head up, our lips blindly seeking each other.

Her brown eyes, almost black in the dim light. I gazed at her. Familiar yet different. The part of me that had been missing for so long. When she smiled it made my heart ache.
“Please don’t leave me. Don’t go.” I sounded like a little boy again.

This was the point I usually woke up. Tonight, I stayed a fraction longer.

Her voice barely audible as she outlined my lips with one finger. “Baby, it’s not me that’s going. You’re the one leaving.”

I snapped awake, a thin sheen of perspiration coating me. It was Suki. All these years I’d been dreaming of Suki. And now I knew something else—where the dream was set.

That would have been the view from the grey mansion.

CHAPTER
5

5.1 Gabe

There was something different about Suki when she burst through the kitchen door armed with two bags of delicious smelling food.

“I’ve left my handbag on the passenger seat, would you be a darling and fetch it for me, please? And lock the doors while you’re there.”

It was the perfect opportunity to check her mileage, and I was glad I did. She’d clocked up around 250 miles today. Well, wasn’t
that
interesting? Locking her car behind me, I strolled into the kitchen and dumped her handbag on a chair. She’d already set out plates and cutlery, and turned to greet me with a huge smile.

“
I called into the Little Yang Sing and picked up the banquet for two. It’s been ages since we had that. All our favourites.”

I wanted to lay into her right there, demand to know where she’d been today—who she’d been with. More importantly, who’d given her this beaming, sparkling smile? Her happiness was visible in her confident movements around the kitchen, the little tune she sang to herself and the lingering kiss she pressed against my lips. Fear gathered around me. I took a quick breath and spoke in my normal tone.

“You’ve had a good day today? What have you been doing?”

Wide, innocent eyes stared back at me.
“I’ve been researching. Didn’t you see my note?”

“
Well, yes. I wondered what exactly? You’ve been out all day.” I didn’t want to sound peevish, so I softened my questions with a smile and caught her by the hand as she drifted past me. Tugging her into my arms, I dropped a kiss on her lips. “Who have you been talking to?”

“
Let’s eat while it’s hot.” She kissed me again. Curious because of this sudden interest I responded, pushing her back against the table and leaning into the kiss. I saw her eyes widen. For good measure, I slipped one hand inside her suit jacket, cupping around her breast.

“
It was good last night, Suzu. Best it’s been for ages. Do I get a replay tonight?”

“
I said, let’s eat. I’m starving.”

She wriggled out of my embrace with another little smile, and moved out of reach. With a chair between us, she spoke again.
“I was hoping, next time… well, I choose.” She sounded nervous.

“
Sure.” I poured us a glass of wine each, and watched her carefully, wondering again why she’d left her rings behind today. She’d dodged my questions so far, but she couldn’t avoid me all night. I decided on a change of subject. “You know how I’ll be in Spa from next week, training for the race? Well I wondered if we should get your parents round for dinner before then. We don’t see much of them, do we?”

A shadow crossed her face, quickly masked.
“Gabe. We just had
everyone
round for dinner. Have you forgotten?”

“
That was for the cameras. This would be informal.” I’m sure I looked innocent. “Or we could take them out somewhere.”

Suki paused, chopsticks hovering above a carton of steaming noodles.
“Gabe, I love my parents, but we’re really not that close. Why the sudden need to entertain them?”

I shrugged. She glared at me.
“This is for your bloody feature, isn’t it? Didn’t they take enough pictures when they were here?”

“
I just thought it might be a nice idea. Like you say, you’re not that close and I think that’s sad. Especially when we’re planning their grandchildren.”

She nibbled on a piece of chicken. Now that she was off her guard, I pounced again.
“So go on then, who were you interviewing today? Anyone I might have heard of?”

“
Oh, a bunch of different people. Fillers, you know, and a writer. Nobody famous.” Her eyes stayed firmly on the food, but was that a hint of a blush starting? I squashed the anxiety and carried on probing.

“
Did you have to go far?”

“
No, I stayed around town. Just back and forward a lot, traffic was rubbish.”

Liar
. Her capacity for lying to my face was impressive. Especially since I’d never suspected her of that before. I felt sick when I wondered just what else she might be lying about. I clenched my hands as I fought to stay calm.

She disappeared to her office after we’d eaten, claiming a need to type up her notes while they were fresh in her head. I didn’t demur. After all, I’d be able to see exactly what she’d written when I received my daily output from the logger software.

My suspicions were heightened when Suki actually instigated sex that night. That was unheard of. However, it all became blindingly clear in the morning, when I read the first outputs from the keystroke logger. She’d requested and participated in another of her little chatroom sessions.

Obsession27:
Hello, Babs. I had another panic attack today. Well, almost. You asked me to tell you when they happened. It was close, but I held it together.

B.Brunheim:
Well done, Obsession27. Which method did you use this time?

Obsession27
: I didn’t have a paper bag, so I tried visualization.

B.Brunheim
: Do you know what triggered it this time?

Obsession27:
Yes. I thought I was having an episode, hallucinating someone, but he was real. He touched my shoulder and I calmed down, maybe because I figured he was really there.

B.Brunheim
: There’s no direct evidence that you will develop into full-blown episodes. If we continue to work together on your focus and calming techniques, there’s a good chance you can avoid medication. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Obsession27
: Thanks, Babs. I get so wrapped up in my own fears sometimes.

B.Brunheim:
Tell me, why did you think you were hallucinating?

Obsession27
: He was someone I’d dreamed of and then when I saw him again, I didn’t think he could be real. He held me in his arms and soothed me when I was crying.

B.Brunheim:
Do you like it when he touches you?

Obsession27
: Yes. And I know I shouldn’t. He made me feel good about myself. I felt calm and rational with him. Even when I came home and should have been feeling stressed, I thought of him and stayed calm. I have to go now, I’m supposed to be working. I’ll arrange another session next week, unless anything happens before then.

I’ve made a point of never losing control. I’ve never gotten drunk, didn’t touch drugs and always remained aware of my surroundings. I’d become famous for it, in our circle of friends, at least. But this…

I wanted to hit something. Or someone. In a blaze of fury, I swept my arm across the desktop and shoved everything onto the floor. My heart raced as though I’d run a marathon.

My eyes were drawn to the shattered china mug on the floor, the hot tea trickling down the wall to join the puddle blooming on the carpet. It’s a good thing Suki had already left for work.

5.2 Josh

I arrived early at the stables, almost an hour before I was due to go out on the trek. I’d not slept much after dreaming about Suki. I felt unsettled and anxious, as though something was wrong. Well, apart from developing an obsession with a married woman
—whose thoughts I could read clearer than anyone before—and feeling a strange affinity with a gothic mansion.

I hung around the stable yard watching the hive of activity buzzing before me, cam-phone at the ready again. While I pretended to stare at something on the screen, I captured the moment when Anita threw her arms around Nathan’s neck and hugged him. Her happy laughter rang briefly in the air. She seemed to be congratulating him on something. He blushed and grinned back, slapping a high-five to one of the girls who worked there. Perhaps realising she had an audience, Anita disentangled herself and came over to greet me.

“Hi there, Joe. How are you? Looking forward to the trek? I’m leading it today.”

I nodded back, pleased at the opportunity to schmooze her.
“Yeah, good thanks. Your parents have a nice place, and the food was excellent.”

She beamed.
“Thanks. They work really hard. How long are you staying?”

“
I’m not sure yet. I might stay tonight, I’ll play it by ear.”

“
See how much you’re aching after the trek. If you’re not used to riding, you might need a day to recover.” Her smile teased and she was a lot more open with me today. Something felt odd. Anita wasn’t flirting with me, she was just being friendly.

There were four of us on the trek; Anita and myself along with two pre-teens that giggled and whispered together constantly. They were confident in the saddle though, leaving Anita to ride alongside me, and it wasn’t hard to strike up a relaxed conversation. I asked about the local area, good places to visit and tourist attractions. She spoke easily about her daughter, her parents and friends, but was a little more reticent about Jon. I got the impression she guarded their privacy.

I did my best to charm her, to win her over, to get any kind of response that might suggest she was anything less than 100% faithful to her husband. It actually made me feel sleazy. For the first time, I’d found someone in a committed relationship and I was doing my best to break it. After I’d suggested a quiet coffee together, Anita sighed and pulled my horse to a halt beside her.

She was clearly unhappy with the way this conversation had been progressing. Her cheeks were tinged pink, her eyes flashing as she held my reins.
“Look Joe, I think you’re a nice man, but I really feel uncomfortable with you thinking any more than that. I don’t know what I’ve said to give you any idea—”

I was quick to interrupt.
“I’m sorry. There’s no need to apologise. God, it sounds like I’m trying to chat you up! I’m not,
honest
.” For some reason, I wanted to give her a partial truth. “It’s just, I’m… ah… I thought your friend Suki was nice. I guess I was hoping to find out some more about her.” I gave her my forlorn-puppy look. It melts the hardest of hearts. After a stern glare, she relented, just a little.

“
Suki’s married. To a colleague of Jon’s and she’s
really
not available. They’re supposed to have one of the happiest marriages ever.”

She didn’t believe it herself. Out of curiosity, I touched her sleeve, hoping to read something more from her, but apart from a sense of doubt and some vague concern, I couldn’t sense anything.
“I’ll cross her off my list then. Thanks for the heads up.” I gave her a rueful smile.

After another brief hesitation, Anita released my reins and urged her horse to walk forwards again. She glanced over her shoulder at me.
“I’m speaking out of turn—Suki would be horrified if she knew I’d said anything—but watch out for her husband. He’s a nasty piece of work. If he thought someone was making moves on his wife, he’d be a force to be reckoned with. And you know what? It wouldn’t go well for Suki either.”

This time, I grabbed her reins, pulling her to a stop. The girls behind us watched with openly puzzled faces.
“Are you saying he’s violent?” My chest felt tight at the thought. Was this why Suki had been so afraid?

Her face was closed, she shook her head. Again, I didn’t quite believe her.
“Not as such, I don’t think he’d ever
hurt
Suki, he adores her. But she wouldn’t thank you for getting involved. If you like her even a tiny bit, take my advice and leave her alone.”

5.3 Gabe

The third of Suki’s chatroom sessions had been short and unexpected. For some strange reason she was comparing me with her father. I’d paid little attention when I first read it, but now, in light of her most recent session, I went back and re-read all the transcripts again, poring over every word. Something began to uncoil in my stomach, tainting everything I thought I knew about my wife. Above all, I burned to know the identity of this man who’d offered her comfort, who’d
held her
. I remembered her happy smile, her rising desire in bed. That had been for
him
. She’d been thinking of
him
.

He would pay for this.

When Alan Houghton rang in the afternoon, with supposedly good news, I leapt at the distraction. We met in the gym bar again and he handed over a data stick and a slim volume of papers, a broad smile pasted on his face.

“
I think we can rest assured your friend’s marriage is sound.”

Hardly good news, I thought sourly.
“I guess your investigator’s not as good as you thought.”

Alan bristled at the idea.
“He’s better than you think. He’s provided you with photographs and some video footage of your friend with his wife, and of her working in the riding school. It all looks perfectly innocent. I’m sure he’d stay longer, but he doesn’t want to rip you off.”