Now and Forever 4, The Renovated Heart (23 page)

Mike looked down at his hands.

“I had no idea what you were going through.
I got Carly pregnant, so I married her. The love thing wore off a
long time ago.”

“Are you still married?”

“Until my son turns eighteen. But we go our
separate ways…if you know what I mean.”

“Isn’t infidelity going to hurt your
campaign?”

“We can play the dutiful couple for the next
ten months…we’ve done it long enough.”

“You’re still married yet you want me to
sleep with you?”

“Until I get a divorce. Then I want to marry
you.”

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know yet. Why don’t you come home
with me tonight…see if the chemistry is still there?”

She knew the chemistry still lived between
them but the trust didn’t.

Mike’s eyes looked at her with passion…the
way they used to on a Saturday night, after a party. She felt
herself weakening.
One time, what would it hurt? Who’d know? Jim
would know.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“What’s the difference?”

“Why not? We’re adults. You’re not married…”
His gaze held hers.

“I’m committed to someone…sort of.” She
chewed her lip.

“Sort of committed?”

“I can’t go home with you tonight.” She
looked down at her hands.

Mike leaned over to kiss her again, with
more heat. He leaned in closer, slipping his arm around her waist,
his fingers caressing her back through her dress. She put her hand
on his chest to stop him, but touching him only served to add to
the heat. As she felt herself weakening, their food arrived. Sunny
to the rescue.

“The food is very good here,” Sarah said,
trying to divert Mike.

“Not as good as you,” he murmured, cutting
off a slice of steak.

They ate in silence for a few moments.

“I’m staying across the street at Gracie’s
Mansion,” Mike said. “In case you change your mind. Second floor,
first door on the right. This time I don’t have to put a tie on the
door.”

His eyes glittered as his laugh resonated in
her head.
One night with Mike. Tempting.

Mike…charming and devastating as ever.

“Tell me about your son.” She focused on her
fish, avoiding his stare.

“Jared. He’s amazing.”

Mike launched into a story about his son’s
high school football career then asked her about her children.
Their comfort level with each other returned as if by magic. He
listened closely, laughed at her funny anecdotes and took her hand
during the sad ones. She felt the years strip away, like falling
through a time machine.
It’s not real, he’s not real. I have a
life.
Though alarm bells sounded in her head, like gravity on a
tumbling leaf, she couldn’t stop falling.

The cold night air slapped them to
attention, removing the drowsiness and comfort of the satisfying
meal.

“Let’s walk a little,” he suggested.

They walked around the block. She pointed
out landmarks and favorite shops. They strolled the empty streets
of Willow Falls, huddled together against the chill of the dark,
wintry night. Mike tucked her arm through his, maneuvering her
close to him. As they turned down Madison Street, a big evergreen
tree blotted out the moonlight and the glow of street lamps. Mike
steered her up against him in the darkness. He kissed her
passionately while unzipping her coat. He slipped his hand inside
and rested it on her breast, emitting a little groan as his fingers
closed over the soft flesh. She caught her breath, surprised by his
bold action, but didn’t pull away.

“Sarah, I need you,” he breathed into her
neck, his fingertips skimming across her velvety skin bordering the
dress’s neckline. He slid her dress down a bit, off her shoulder.
The cold air on her skin brought reality crashing home. She gave
her head a tiny shake then stepped back and closed her coat.

“Stop,” she said, pushing against his
chest.

“I’m sorry. I got carried away. I want you
as much now as I did then.” he said, releasing her.

“Twelve, thirteen years later? Things
change, life…life has happened. I have a man who loves me, a good
man who I love.” She zipped up her coat.

“It won’t happen again.” Mike cast his gaze
down at the pavement.

“Again?”

“I’m here for a week. I’d like to see you.
Besides, you’re still considering my offer for work, aren’t
you?”

“An offer? I didn’t hear anything about
salary…you don’t expect me and my kids to live on love, do
you?”

Mike laughed.

“I’d love to take you to a deserted island
so we could live on love.”

“I’ll bet.” She smiled despite herself.

“All right. I’ll get you a real proposal.
I’ll call you when I have a package ready.”

“You’re serious?” Her eyebrows shot up.

“Absolutely. One thing I need you to
understand. No matter what you think of me now, I loved you with
all my heart when we were in college.”

“I know, Mike,” she said, quietly, “didn’t
do me much good though, did it?”

“When you needed me, I wasn’t there for you.
Worst mistake of my life.”

“Time for me to go home.”

They were silent on the ride home. At her
house, she put up a hand in warning to stop Mike from kissing her.
Sneaking a glance at the window, she felt relief to see Jim wasn’t
there.
He trusts me.
After the warm car, Sarah shivered in
the sudden cold assaulting her on her way up the walk.

* * * *

Surrounded by student papers, Jim sat on the
sofa, wearing his reading glasses, holding a red pen when Sarah
walked in the door. Scottie was asleep. He'd given Laura a five
minute warning fifteen minutes earlier. He looked up at Sarah. Her
face was a bit pink.
Cold outside.
But otherwise she looked
intact. Her hair wasn’t mussed or perfectly combed either, both a
dead giveaway pointing to a lustful evening. He watched her hang up
her coat.
Everything’s zipped up
. He let out a breath he
didn’t realize he held. He glanced down to check his watch, up at
her then smiled…
nine thirty-five
.

“Not a whore yet?”

He smiled.

“You could never be a whore,” he said,
getting up.

She cocked an eyebrow at him.

“Not what you said before.”

“Did you kiss him?” Jim capped his red pen
and dropped it on the coffee table along with the paper he had been
reading.

“I don’t want to talk about Mike. Coffee?”
She closed the closet door.

“I guess you did, then. Tea sounds good,” he
said, irritated at her evasion.

“I don’t want to fight with you.”

“You didn’t sleep with him, did you?”
Jealousy rose in his chest, dread mixed with anger.

“Of course not.” She filled the kettle, put
it on the stove then turned on the flame.

“Good.” He reached into the cabinet to
retrieve two mugs.

Their hands met at the tea canister. He
closed his fingers over hers and stepped closer to her. His heart
beat wildly in anticipation of her kiss. She tilted her head up.
Will she still want me after kissing Mike?
His pulse
fluttered as fear shot through his veins. He put his hand on her
waist, feeling her softness through the knit fabric of her
dress.

“Sarah…”he murmured as he closed his eyes,
lowering his mouth to connect with hers.

She placed her palms on his chest. The touch
of her fingers turned him on. Desire trumped fear as he pulled her
closer. Her lips were as soft and willing as ever. His tongue
glided over hers, caressing until a small moan escaped her throat.
He felt her go soft against him, her breasts pushing against his
chest when her arms linked around his neck. He slipped his hands
down her back to cup her bottom. Nothing was different. Jim moved
his lips to her neck, feathering light kisses down to her
collarbone as blood rushed between his legs. He closed his fingers
over her breast as the water boiled and the tea kettle screamed in
his ear.

“Tea?” She muttered.

“You.”

He reached over to turn off the burner
before leading her to the bedroom. After they made love, Sarah
stretched out, snuggled up to him and fell asleep. He flopped his
arm around her waist and closed his eyes but sleep didn’t come.
Was she making love to Mike or to me?

In the Old Victorian on Bay Street

Christmas was five days away when Kit picked
up Zoe from school.

“I’m making the most of my time with
you.”

“What do you mean?” she faced her mom.

“We’re going to bake together. I bought some
new polish so we can give each other manicures…”

“Did you get dark sea green?”

“Of course!”

Zoe clapped her hands together.

They were close, again, painting each
other’s nails, gossiping about celebrities while cooking in the big
kitchen.

The next morning, she helped Zoe pack. The
girl could barely contain herself waiting for her father to drive
up. Tunney arrived just before Johnny pulled up in front of the old
house in a big, black limousine.

Zoe ran outside and threw herself in her
father’s arms. He hugged her then swung her around like he used to.
He smiled and laughed, happy to see his daughter. Kit stood by the
front door looking him over. The tour had changed him. He sported
punky hair and tight leather pants. Once they were inside, Kit hung
up his coat, then handed him a steaming mug of coffee.

“Colder than hell up here. Nice house,
Kit.”

She hung back. Johnny pulled her into a big
hug.

“You’re looking…uh…good, Johnny. Sit down,”
she said, stepping away from his embrace.

“Who is this?” he asked, looking at
Tunney.

“This is my friend…” she said, then
immediately corrected herself, picking up on Tunney’s frown, “my
boyfriend, Tunney Nichols.”

Johnny walked over to Tunney and stuck out
his hand. They shook hands.

“Nice to meet you, Nichols.” he said.
Turning to her he said, “Told you you’d be back on your feet in no
time.”

“Luck, Johnny,” she said, walking over to
Tunney, slipping her hand in his.

“Daddy, aren’t you going to ask Mommy to
marry you again,” Zoe blurted out.

“Whoa! Zoe, where did you get that idea?”
Johnny asked.

“You said you had a proposal for her…”

“Yeah, but not that kind of proposal, baby
girl.”

“Then what?” she asked.

“Kit, being on the road is complicated. Ace,
who runs the shit for the band is having trouble keeping up with
things. They’re looking for an assistant. I volunteered you for the
job. You could still be on the road, write your dumbass book or
whatever. You’d have a job, anyway, make a few bucks. You’re real
organized, with your lists and all. Ace went for it. So I’m
offering you the job…”

“Daddy…you’re not getting back together with
Mom?”

“No, Zoe. Who told you we were?” Johnny
raised his eyebrows.

“You did, Daddy. Why not? You used to love
Mom. Why did you stop?”

Kit shifted from foot to foot, her gaze
dropped to the floor.

“That’s between me and your mom, baby.”
Johnny put his arm around the girl.

“But I want you to love her. I want us to be
a family again.”

Kit’s chest tightened at the note of
hysteria in Zoe’s voice.
She’s going to have a meltdown right
here, right now. In front of Johnny.

“We’ll still be a family, just differently.
Kit, did you do this?” Johnny turned to her, anger clouding his
face.

“Don’t be mad at her. This is me…what I
want.” His daughter tugged on his sleeve.

“Sorry, baby, but you don’t get to call the
shots on this. It’s over, Zoe. Try to accept it. I have a
girlfriend now…out in the limo. Seems your mom has moved on, too,”
he said, looking at Tunney with a flash of jealousy in his
eyes.

“You brought a girlfriend here?” Kit asked,
shocked.

Tunney moved over to stand next to Kit. His
hand slipped around hers again.

“I want Zoe to meet her.”

“Is she coming skiing with us?” Zoe asked,
tears beginning to form in her big eyes.

“Why not? She’s nice. You’ll like her.”

“I thought…just you and me, Daddy.” Kit saw
tears in her daughter’s eyes and the flush of roiling emotions
color her daughter’s cheeks.

“A guy’s gotta have his girl around. Come
on, we’ll have fun. Marla isn’t like your mom, she’s young, she’ll
take you shopping…do girl stuff.”

Tunney bristled, but Kit squeezed his
hand.

“You’ll still have lots of time with Daddy,
right, Johnny?” Kit put in, hoping Johnny would back her up.

“Yeah, baby girl. Yeah. Wait till you meet
the members of the band. Stoke has kids, too, so you won’t be the
only one.”

“Johnny, no drugs or anything, right?”

She chewed her lip.

“Of course not. Wouldn’t think of it. She’ll
be safe with me.”

The front door burst opened and a tall
brunette woman about twenty-three years old walked in.

“Staid, when are we going? The car’s cold.
Crap, everything here is cold.”

Johnny introduced Marla to everyone as his
girlfriend. Zoe ran up to her room and slammed the door. Her mother
followed.

“Go away,” the girl called tearfully through
the door.

“It’s me, sweetheart.”

“Mom…I’m so…so sorry!”

“Please let me in.”

She unlocked the door. Kit plopped down on
the bed next to her. She put her arms around her daughter.

“Don’t be mad at your father. Getting back
together isn’t right for us. I do have a new life. I’m fine
now.”

“But I want you two back together.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart…not going to happen.
Our being apart or together has nothing to do with you…just with
us. We don’t want to be together, please try to accept us this
way.”