Notice Me (33 page)

I was relieved it wasn’t going to be a large wedding. Firstly, I had no family, but the Field family wanted Will’s wedding to be more private like his personality. Will wasn’t lavish like his sisters.

The idea of marrying Will on an island just off New Zealand was perfect if it hadn’t been for the simple fact I hated him. The island belonged to the Field family. It had been in their generation for centuries. Pale white sands, crystal blue water, palm trees swaying in the breeze. Megan had painted a beautiful picture of Paradise Island. It still didn’t comfort me.

Thinking about my lack of family I wondered what information Lorna had managed to retrieve about my family. I would never get the answers from her, but perhaps if I knew who I really was I wouldn’t feel so lost. Every decision I had ever made was wrong. From the day I met Megan, becoming absorbed in her world, falling in love with Charlie, when deep down I knew it couldn’t work. I guess I deserved what was coming to me now. I had hurt
everyone
I loved and cared about.

“So I thought we should go out tonight have a few drinks in Reds like the old days. What do you say?” Megan nudged me. “Will is away. You should let your hair down.”

The thought of being able to get drunk was so appealing, it would numb my pain for a few hours at least. “Sure that would be great.”

We arrived at Reds quite late because Megan was being her usual self trying to find the perfect dress to wear.

“I’ll get the drinks. I’ll meet you in the VIP area,” I shouted over the music. People were already hassling Megan. She smiled making her way safely through the crowd with her security.

The night was slow. Megan was chatted up by the local footballers. It was all so monotonous.

“Do you want to leave?” Megan asked as she caught me staring into space.

“Not if you want to stay,” I tried to smile, but being here in Reds I couldn’t forget him. Everywhere was a memory, not of us together, but just knowing we had spent time here. I could hardly bare it. It made it more manageable for me to imagine him as a dream. With the wedding fast approaching I had to adapt the only way I could. I knew I wouldn’t forget him, but Charlie was the kind of man women dreamed about. That was the only reality I could have with him now.

“We will go,” Megan grabbed my arm. “I need to talk to you anyway.”

“What’s up?” I asked as we waited for the private car to pull around the back entrance.

“You. Shannon, I am worried about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not,” Megan raised her perfect eyebrow.

“I am getting married soon. I am allowed to be a little freaked out by the idea,” I raised my voice trying to hide my alarm.

“I don’t think that is it,” Megan smiled as the blue private car pulled up. “I think there is something you and Will are hiding from me,” Megan accused getting into the car.

“What could we possibly hide from you, Megan?”

“You guys don’t sleep together for a start, which is weird considering what you two were like when you first got together.”

“We just want to wait until the wedding night. What is wrong with that?” I of course couldn’t tell Megan the real reason. That I didn’t want Will anywhere near me. I knew once we were married it would have to change, but the only saving grace I had in this entire nightmare was that Will was a gentleman when it came to this situation. No pressure until we were husband and wife.

“It is weird though. You guys have had sex together before so why should it matter?”

“Drop it Megan please. I know it’s strange, but it is what we want,” I sighed as the car pulled up.

“Before New York you would have told me anything,” replied Megan as she got in the car.

“What are you trying to say?” I asked dubiously.

“I think we have secrets between us, Shannon. I think you are hiding something from me.”

“God, has all that fame finally gone to your head, Megan Field?” I giggled trying to get her off the scent.

“I don’t care if you laugh at me. I still think I am right.” Megan looked out of the blackened window irritated.

“You are being silly,” I teased watching Megan’s face soften.

“Do you love Will Shan?” Megan took my hand. “And I mean do you love him? Like I loved Charlie?”

Hearing Charlie’s name sent shock waves into my immobile heart. “That is different, Megan,” I whispered unable to control the shake in my voice.

“Why, I thought you were the hopeless romantic, Shannon? If you are not madly in love with my brother, why marry him?”

“I do love him,” I cringed away at the evil fictional words.

“You do?” Megan asked unsure. I just nodded unable to even speak. “Sorry, I am being silly. Maybe it’s the sleeping pills I have been taking,” Megan began to laugh at herself. “I just can’t believe you are going to be my sister.”

I tried to force a smile. I had to achieve a lot worse in the months to come. I had my own prison waiting for me. Megan was the lucky one who had set herself free.

Looking at my best friend as we pulled up towards her house I was proud of her. Megan had accomplished all of her goals. She was a famous model, with her new clothing line in production. She provided for herself without the help from her parents and gained the approval she had always desired.

It dawned on me what had I achieved? I wanted to find out about my parents so I could understand the real me. I wanted a successful career so when I fell in love and settled down I could provide for my family. A tear fell down my face as I realised I had achieved nothing.

Chapter 24

Will kept his distance when we were alone. My hatred for him grew each passing week, but for Charlie’s sake when we were in the company of his family I acted as if we were the most perfect couple.

“So did you have a good night at Reds last night?” Will asked while I made him a coffee. Megan had gone to see her agent. We were alone in her house.

“Yes,” I muttered walking to the fridge to get the milk. Will stopped me placing his arms around my waist.

“Are you always going to be like this with me?” I pulled away from his hold.

“I don’t know how else to react around you Will. You have destroyed my whole world,” I glared.

“I will give you anything, Shannon.” Will’s voice was soft. “I want to make this work. I love you. In the long run you will see I am right for you.”

“All I see when I look at you is pure evil.”

“How can I change that Shannon? I will do anything.”

“Let me go to Charlie,” I pleaded.

“No,” Will’s voice was sharp. “You can have anything… but that.”

“It’s all I want,” I whimpered pulling the milk from the fridge.

“Be reasonable Shannon.”

“Will, you are blackmailing me into marrying you. How much more reasonable do you want me to be?” I yelled slamming the fridge door.

“Perhaps I should rephrase.” Will put his hand through his light brown hair. I had never seen Will’s hair so long he had a slight wave in it. “You are making this difficult for yourself, Shannon. You are marrying into a multi billionaire family. Is that really so bad? I can give you everything you have ever dreamed of. Fancy clothes, diamonds. Whatever you desire. I will give you.” Will was moving closer towards me.

“I can’t be bought Will. Money means nothing to me. You should know that.”

“I am not trying to buy you, Shannon. I just want you to live a life of happiness.”

“Charlie can only give me that,” I spat. Will lost it throwing a stack of plates onto the floor. “Scaring me won’t work either,” I yelled pushing him.

“I do not want to ever hear his name again,” Will shouted gripping me painfully. “You are mine Shannon.”

“I will never be yours Will. When I am your wife I will still love him – forever.” Will pushed me. I stumbled into the work top as he stormed off slamming the door behind him.

If Will thought I would ever forgive him for what he had done to me he was wrong. I would spend our entire marriage letting him know just how much he had destroyed my life.

“What happened in here?” Megan asked while I was cleaning up Will’s mess.

“I knocked them over,” I smiled, sweeping the last of the pieces up. “I’ll replace them – sorry.”

“I hated them anyway. Don’t worry about it,” Megan smiled wandering into her room.

I finished making my coffee taking it into the lounge to carry on reading my book.

“Where is Will? I thought he was coming over after work?”

“He had to pop out.” I didn’t even look up from my book.

“You guys had another fight didn’t you?”

“What do you mean?”

“All this crap about keeping yourselves pure until you marry. It’s affecting your relationship. I think you guys need to just sleep with each other.”

“We just don’t want to make the same mistake as last time. We need to be friends as well as lovers Megan. Not everyone is as addicted to sex as you,” I laughed.

“It’s putting distance between you rather than pulling you together.”

“I’m not sleeping with him until our wedding night,” I screeched. I had time to adjust to that part of my life. That was the one thing I was not allowing Will to take until I was ready.

“When did you turn into such a prude?”

“Marriage is a big step for me, Megan. Please don’t mock me.”

“I’m not. You and Will love each other. Don’t you miss the closeness?”

“It will mean more knowing our next union will be when we are husband and wife,” I lied swallowing the bile in my throat.

“I do get it Shan.” Megan smiled sitting next to me. “New York has really changed you. I hardly recognise you.”

“I’m still me.” I forced a smile.

“I can’t believe we are actually going to be sisters.” Megan beamed excitedly. “The wedding is going to be breathtaking.”

I was just about to speak when the front door slammed. I knew it had to be Will. He was the only other person with a key.

“Hey,” Will replied leaning against the door with a bouquet of red roses. Why did Charlie pop into my head?

“I’ll leave you guys alone,” Megan commented as she went into her room.

“Could she tell we had been fighting?” Will asked placing the flowers on the glass table.

“I think the smashed plates gave it away,” I replied not even glancing up from my book.

“I’m sorry.”

“You are always sorry.”

“Look at me please, Shannon.”

I looked over my book at him. I wasn’t going to be fooled by the softness in his eyes. “Do you really think flowers will work?”

“I know,” Will put his face in his hands. “I know I keep losing it. I love you Shannon. I just want the closeness back we had before you went to New York.”

“You are insane.” Had Will forgotten exactly why I was marrying him? It was not out of choice.

“I want this to be easier on you. I don’t like all this anger between us. If Megan can tell we are arguing the rest of my family will sense it too.”