Notice Me (21 page)

“I think you should go back to Cheshire with Maisy. Don’t look like that Megan, it’s for the best. Shannon goes to New York in ten days. You can’t stay here alone.” Will spoke my name harshly, it felt good someone hated me. I deserved it.

“Or I could stay here with her?” Maisy suggested.

“I think Cheshire is a better idea. Just for a while,” Will replied.

“As long as it is just a while,” Megan moaned. “I have a few jobs in line anyway to keep me busy. Charlie will be able to see what he is missing. In a few months he will be begging for me back.”

“At a girl Megan. Then you can kick him to the kerb,” Maisy laughed proud of her sister.

Will and Maisy left Megan to rest. Will’s eyes caught mine. I could see the pain I had inflicted.

“Are you guys not even going to talk to each other?” Maisy asked flicking her eyes between us.

“What’s to talk about? Shannon broke up with me,” Will shrugged indifferently.

“Will, please don’t be like this.” I finally spoke. I didn’t want to be the reason for anyone’s pain. I had made such a mess of everything.

“How do you want me to act Shannon? I love you. Offered you everything. You threw it back in my face.”

“Will, I just didn’t think it was fair. You should be with someone who can love you.”

“Don’t worry Shannon. I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve like my sister. Just promise me one thing.”

“What?” I would promise anything if it would make Will feel better.

“If you ever do fall in love with someone keep it from me. I can only just cope with
this
by thinking you can’t love
anyone
. If you fell in love Shan… I don’t know how I would react.” Will’s eyes weren’t the soft ocean blue I was used to they looked ice cold staring at me.

“I promise,” I whispered looking away from his gaze. I had hurt him so much already. I needed to let my heart’s desire go otherwise this pain would consume me. Will didn’t reply as he kissed Maisy on the forehead leaving the flat.

“My family is so messed up,” Maisy sighed.

The next few days were difficult. I wanted to see Charlie, but the press were all over him. Megan had told the press an embroidered story making him out to be a monster. It hurt me to know Charlie would be suffering. He hated press attention at the best of times, but bad press was something he hadn’t ever experienced.

Megan was enraged with Charlie. No one had ever finished with Megan Field. He had really cracked her ego. I could see the glimmer in Megan’s eyes. She wanted revenge. It sent a shudder of fear through my body. If she knew the truth I couldn’t even imagine the destruction Megan would have in store for Charlie and me.

New York was just a week away. I never thought I would feel relieved to be going. Lying to Megan was agony. I was a disloyal, vindictive, heartless piece of work. I didn’t deserve to have
anyone
love me.

 Through all my pain of hurting Megan I could not get Charlie out of my head. He had become imbedded in my heart. I needed him like a bird in flight needed the wind.

“So are you nearly all packed Shan?” Megan asked walking into my room.

“Yeah almost,” I smiled back at her nervously.

“You will be fine Shan. I know how stressed you have been since Charlie and me. Please do not worry about me. I will be fine.” Megan had no idea why I had been so stressed. I couldn’t even imagine telling her. ‘
Sorry Megan, but the reason Charlie finished with you is because he is in love with me.
’ How could I ever tell her that?

“I know it’s just it is a big change.” It was true, but I had no courage for the complete truth. I was a gutless hideous person through and through.

“I will come and visit you as soon as I can.” Megan squeezed me tightly. “Just give me some time to get over the love rat.” I tried to smile back. I was so sure Megan could see through me. “Oh I forgot, talking of the love rat. Charlie has put my things in a box. I know it is asking a lot, but please can you get them? I really am not ready to see him yet. I think it would set me back. It’s just he has the bracelet you and Will bought me for my birthday so I really want it back.”

“Of course I don’t mind.” I was a monster. My heart jumped at the thought of seeing Charlie. Megan was here thinking I was doing
her
a favour!

“You are the best,” Megan hugged me, my eyes began to water from the pain, it had become too much. “Oh come here. You fragile thing. You will be fine. You’ll be back in London before you know it. It’s only six months like you said.” I had to make it up to her. I had to let Charlie go. I couldn’t love him, it wasn’t right!

“I will go and see Charlie tonight. That way you can be shot of him forever. He will never hurt you again Megan. I won’t let him.” I spoke determined with my words. I half told them to myself. Megan was my priority, my best friend, the person I owed everything to.

Love – what was it really? All I could sense in my heart right now was hurt and destruction. Charlie and I would only destroy everything if we were together.

Chapter 16

Charlie standing at his front door looking at me adoringly with his striking face sent shock waves through my heart. It had only been four days since I had seen him, but as he pulled me into his flat pushing me against the inside of the door with a fierce kiss, it felt like weeks maybe months since I had experienced his soft touch.

“I can’t believe how much I have missed you,” Charlie whispered moving his lips down my neck.

“Sorry it has been difficult,” I replied pushing him away. I couldn’t allow myself to be distracted. I had to end this.

“Shannon?” Charlie asked confused. His beautiful blue-green eyes boring into mine.

“Charlie, please can we sit down?” Charlie walked over to his sofa taking a seat. I was going to sit next to him, but opted for his white kitchen stool instead. Some distance was probably a good idea.

“Shannon, please don’t do this,” Charlie pleaded. Was my face that easy to read?

“Charlie, what do you expect me to do, Megan is my best friend.” I could feel the tears beginning to swell at the corner of my eyes.

“But you love me Shannon. Are you telling me you care more about Megan’s feelings than mine?”

“Megan has helped me Charlie. I wouldn’t be the person you fell in love with if it wasn’t for Megan,” I raised my voice slightly.

“You would be exactly the same amazing person without Megan, Shannon. She needs
you
not the other way round. I have watched your friendship. I know how it works. Megan needs you. You do not need her.” Charlie was angry now. “It’s like she has scrambled your head. You do not owe her anything. She treats you like her personal slave!”

“Charlie, you were her boyfriend. What sort of person does that make me? I slept with you the night you guys split up. I am evil.” I was a little hysterical. Charlie stood up to comfort me. I had no power to pull him away this time as my body shivered at his powerful touch.

“Shan, we fell in love. There is nothing evil about that,” he whispered, soothing me by stroking my hair in his tight warm grasp.

“Why does it feel so wrong then, Charlie?” I asked weeping into his chest.

“Because you are too sensitive for your own good, but it’s one of the many things I love about you Miss Davis.”

“You really aren’t making this easy for me,” I sighed looking up into his dreamy eyes.

“I am not losing you Shannon. I love you too much.” Charlie kissed my forehead. “Anyway, you can’t get rid of me. I am moving to New York.”

I looked at him with widened eyes. What had he done? “I… what do you mean moving to New York?”

“Sir Straton thinks it’s a brilliant idea. I told him how being in London was too much for me after Megan. So he has told me to work from New York. I go in four days.” Charlie looked smug. He knew he had me. I wouldn’t be able to resist him if he was living in New York.

“I… I can’t believe you Charlie,” I was laughing amazed at how happy the thought of him so close made me.

“I know we didn’t really talk about it Shan, but just imagine it. We will be alone and be able to work out our feelings for each other. I know what I want from you, but I will give you the space you need to work out your own mind. We will have to be careful. Have our own apartments, but I don’t think it would be too difficult.” Charlie had obviously thought this plan through.

“I don’t know what to say Charlie. I came here to tell you it’s over.”

Charlie lifted my face up so I could stare right into the centre of his exquisite eyes. “You know deep in your heart you didn’t come to do that, Shannon.” Charlie’s soft whispering voice began to penetrate my defences. “You love me remember? Megan will have some other poor man in six months. We can tell her when you feel the time is right. I don’t care how long it might take.”

“Charlie,” I complained. He really wasn’t being fair.

“Shannon, I love you. I am never going to give up on us ever. You are my whole life!” My defence shattered as Charlie crashed his lips against mine. I wanted to fight back but couldn’t. I loved him with every fraction of my heart. It was easy thinking I could let him go when he wasn’t stood in front of me. Now here in Charlie’s arms I had no resistance left inside me. I would never be able to be parted from him.

****

New York was everything I had dreamed of but more. In my months of waiting for this time to happen never in my wildest dreams did I imagine
Charlie
being part of it.

Charlie had an apartment not too far from the Botanic Gardens in Brooklyn. The apartment was perfectly situated near the subway. Charlie had no office so he needed to access New York from any angle. From his main window you could see the skyline of New York. It was breathtaking any time of day. Sir Straton had really pulled some strings to get Charlie this desirable apartment. Charlie was really going up in the world since winning his award in London. It was a long away from his tiny apartment in London.

 Entering his apartment for the first time reminded me of seeing Megan’s penthouse.

The whole space was surrounded by glass, the deep blue kitchen was open planned, and two large brown couches were in the centre of the room with a warm invited thick white rug on the oak wood flooring. His black plasma TV was huge. I had no idea what all the gadgets were that came with it. The whole space was open planned with a metal spiral staircase leading up towards his bedroom with the biggest bed I had ever seen covered in at least ten gold and silver pillows. It was like entering a showroom, but more luxurious.

“What do you think then?” Charlie asked completely over excited.

“Amazing,” I replied still in awe. “It makes my place look like a dive.”

“I love your place. I can’t see us being able to spend too much time here. The press are still watching me.” I nodded. It would only take a matter of weeks for someone to notice us here. “Did you read the article about me and that model in the paper this morning?” Charlie chuckled.

“Yeah, but at least they are way off the mark.” I laughed. It was a good thing the press had got it so wrong. I knew my life wouldn’t be worth living if Megan ever found out.

“I think you are far more beautiful than that model, Shan,” Charlie wrapped his arms around me.

“You would say that.”