Nothing Left to Lose (82 page)

Bile
immediately rose in my throat. Carter was still interested in me?
How? Why? And why the hell would they not tell me this?

“I thought it
best to keep it from you at first because you just weren’t coping,
then I didn’t want to put any more pressure on you. You were so
fragile,” my dad explained quickly, answering my unspoken
question.

I glanced up at
Ashton’s guilt-stricken face and realised that he already knew
about this. Suddenly, everything clicked into place. “This is why
Ashton’s here, a SWAT guy. I finally get why he was assigned to me.
Carter wants me dead, so you bring in a guy like Ashton to protect
me. Now it makes sense,” I said, shaking my head, frowning as the
reality of it sank in. I’d always wondered how on earth someone
like Ashton could get stuck in a dead-end assignment like this
one.

“He doesn’t
want you dead, Annabelle,” my dad said grimly.

“Well what does
he want?” I asked, confused.

There was
silence on the end of the phone for a few seconds and in those few
seconds, I think my heart stopped beating. “He wants you back,” my
dad answered quietly.

I gasped and
jumped out of bed. My body reacted of its own accord. My back
slammed against the wall as my eyes darted around the room,
suddenly afraid that he would jump out from some darkened corner.
Memories of the rapes, the beatings, the isolation, the way he
looked at me… all of it rushed back to me at once, making me dry
heave. I wanted to scream. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide under
the bed and never come out. He wanted me back…

A heavy weight
pressed me against the wall tightly. My numb brain came back to the
present a little and I realised it was Ashton. He’d pinned me
against the wall, his body pressing against mine. It was a
protective pose.

“Shh, it’s
okay, shh,” he whispered, smoothing my hair away from my face. His
hand gripped the back of my neck, guiding my head to his chest. I
closed my eyes and listened to his heart, forcing myself to breathe
in and out, in and out. My fingers dug into Ashton’s back, and I
was sure to be hurting him, but I couldn’t let go.

“You knew but
didn’t tell me.” My voice was barely more than a whisper.

His arms
tightened around me as he pressed his cheek against the top of my
head. “I wanted to, Baby Girl, I promise. It wasn’t my call,” he
explained.

My chin
trembled as I pulled back, looking up into his eyes. I could see
the truth in his words, this wasn’t his idea, this was my father’s
half-assed idea of keeping me safe and shielding me from more harm.
I took a deep breath. I needed to be strong now. The worry and
apprehension on Ashton’s face was enough to make me realise that I
needed to get a hold of myself and calm down for him.

“I’m okay,” I
lied, willing my shaking voice not to betray me.

He backed away
slowly; taking my hand and guiding me back over to the bed. As I
sat down, I spotted his T-shirt in a pile on the floor, so I
stooped to pick it up and pull it down over my head.

“Sir, are you
still there?” Ashton asked, fiddling with the phone.

“I’m here,” my
father confirmed, his voice choked and strained.

I sniffed and
wiped my face, forcing myself to be strong as I looked down at the
phone, wanting answers. “So, what was in these letters? Does he
know where I am?” I asked.

My father
cleared his throat. “He knows what school you’re at. For the last
couple of months, the letters have been sent to the college,” he
said, sounding almost apologetic. “I’m sending four more guards
over to your location, just to be on the safe side. They should be
arriving within the hour. Agent Taylor, do you think you could
organise them when they get there? Whatever you feel’s best, I’ve
already instructed them to that effect.”

“Yes, sir, of
course,” Ashton confirmed in his business tone. He was already
planning, I could tell by the look on his face.

“Okay, well if
I hear anything else, I’ll call straight away. If you need
anything, call me anytime and Maddy will put you straight through,”
my dad stated.

“Yes, sir,”
Ashton replied.

“Annabelle, I’m
sorry I didn’t tell you, but honestly we thought that this was in
your best interests,” my dad said, sounding like he was asking for
my approval.

In all honesty,
it probably was the best thing at the start; I wouldn’t have coped
very well with that at all. But since Ashton, I could have been
told. Maybe it would have helped me understand why he was always so
strict and professional when we went out.

“Now isn’t the
time to start arguing over something that’s done. I understand why
you didn’t tell me,” I admitted. “I’ll speak to you later, Dad,” I
mumbled, not wanting to speak anymore.

“Bye,
Annabelle, Agent Taylor,” he replied as he cut off the phone. I
glanced over to the love of my life. He was worried sick, his
beautiful face was pale and showed the picture of concern.

His arms
encircled me, crushing me against him. When he moved towards me,
the weight of his body meant I had nowhere to go but backwards onto
the bed. His body covered mine, pressing me down into the mattress.
“You don’t need to worry, Baby Girl, I promise. I would die before
I let him touch you again,” he growled fiercely.

My heart
stopped at his words. I could see the truth in his eyes. He
wouldn’t let Carter take me; he would fight for me to the death.
And with that knowledge, my heart broke all over again. I knew what
was coming. In my mind’s eye I could already see it, Carter turning
up, Ashton and him locked in some kind of death battle, Ashton
being hurt or killed. Me, alone again, watching another person that
I loved being ripped away from me.

I couldn’t do
it. I wouldn’t allow him to be hurt. This time I had some control,
this time I could prevent it, this time the boy I loved would live.
I would never allow Carter to hurt Ashton, ever.

Forcing a fake
smile, I tried desperately to think of a plan, an escape, something
that would ensure that this time it all ended differently.
Scenarios flicked through my head, us leaving, going into hiding,
changing our names. But each one boiled down to the same thing –
Carter would find us, and he would kill him in the slowest way
possible. No, there was only one way I could ensure his safety.

“I’m going to
go and have a shower before the new guards all come. I guess you
need to go and talk to Dean and Peter and tell them what’s
happened,” I muttered, trying not to let out the waves of emotion
that were crashing over me show in my face or in my voice.

He sighed and
dipped his head, capturing my lips in a kiss that was so sweet that
it shattered my heart. I kissed him back, savouring every last
second of it, knowing that it would be the last kiss I would ever
have. I memorised the soft feel of his lips, the taste of his
tongue, the smell of him, how the heat spread through my body
making my heart throb. I memorised every single thing about it
while my heart broke silently.

He pulled away
and stroked my face softly. “Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked,
watching my face. I nodded, working hard to keep my face natural. I
must have done a pretty decent job because he kissed me on the lips
again quickly then pushed up off me and left the bedroom, looking
like it almost pained him to walk away from me.

I sat up and
put my head in my hands, thinking it through again. Was there any
other option? Was there anything else I could do to protect him?
Carter knew where we were. He wanted me back, and if he had seen
any of the magazines or papers then he would already see all of the
stuff about Ashton… and he would be murderously angry. The dream I
had about Ashton’s broken face and body flashed into my mind, and I
whimpered. My eyes fluttered closed, holding on to the memory of
that dream. I took a deep breath; I needed to draw on my inner
strength now. It didn’t matter how much it hurt me, I needed him
safe. There was only one way to keep him safe, and that was to get
him as far away from me as possible.

I couldn’t live
in a world where Ashton didn’t exist. It hurt so much when Jack
died, I couldn’t go through all of that again. If anything happened
to Ashton, my whole world would collapse. I
had
to keep him
safe, even if the pain would be excruciating, I wouldn’t allow
Carter to hurt Ashton.

I swallowed my
sob and picked up my cell phone before walking to the bathroom on
wobbly legs. I scrolled through my contacts, finding the one I
wanted as I closed the door behind me tightly and leant against it.
Maddy answered immediately. “President Spencer’s Office,” she said
politely.

“Hi, Maddy. Can
I speak to my dad please?”

I heard her
tapping on keys. “I’ll just put you through, Annabelle,” she stated
as the hold music started. I took a few calming breaths, I needed
to get this done without giving anything away.

“Annabelle, is
everything okay?” my father asked worriedly.

Come on,
Anna, you can do this!
“Actually no, Dad.” I took another deep
breath. “I need you to do something for me, but I don’t want you to
question me. It’s something that I need to have happen,” I said,
trying to stress the importance without giving anything away.

“Of course,
Annabelle. What is it?”

I slumped down
onto the bathroom floor, leaning my back against the door, gripping
my free hand in my hair. “I need you to transfer Agent Taylor,” I
replied quickly.

His reaction
was exactly what I thought it would be. “What? Transfer? I can’t do
that, Annabelle! He’s there for your protection; he’s the best man
for the job. With everything going on right now, you need him
there,” he said sternly.

I closed my
eyes, trying to block out the pain that I was feeling inside. “Dad,
I need this to happen. I don’t ask you for much, do I? If you love
me at all, you’ll do this for me and not ask me anything else about
it. Please, Dad, please?” I begged, my voice starting to break.

He was quiet
for a couple of seconds. I couldn’t breathe. I could feel my heart
getting harder with each passing second; I was starting to push
everything away again, just like I used to. I didn’t care about my
own life; Carter could do what the hell he wanted to me, as long as
Ashton wasn’t harmed.

“Annabelle, do
you know what you’re asking? You want me to transfer him even after
I just told you that Carter knows where you are? This is that
important to you?” he asked quietly.

Jeez, Ashton
is the most important thing in the world.
“Yes,” I croaked.

“Has something
happened? Has he done something wrong?” my dad inquired
hesitantly.

I gasped. “No!
He’s done nothing wrong. He’s an excellent agent, exemplary. I just
need you to transfer him, please?” I said fiercely.

He sighed. “Do
I get to know the reason?”

“No. Please
trust me, please do this for me. Transfer him to wherever he wants
to go. He wanted some Front Line thing in LA.” I wiped the silent
tear that fell down my cheek.

He was quiet
again. “Okay, consider it done,” he replied, his voice tender and
worried.

Relief washed
over me and my stomach unclenched. The fear loosened, and the
muscles that I didn’t even realise I had tensed, started to
relax.

“Thank you,
Dad. Thank you, thank you,” I muttered.

“I’ll call him
and let him know,” he stated sadly.

I gasped, panic
stricken. “No, don’t! You can’t do that.”

“What? You just
said you-” he started, but I interrupted him.

“Dad, Ashton’s
not going to want to leave. If he finds out now, he’s going to do
everything in his power to stay. You can’t tell him until he’s
ready to go. I think he’s going to need to be escorted away,” I
admitted, biting the inside of my mouth hard enough to draw
blood.

“But if he’s
that dead set against going, why is he being transferred?” he
asked. I could hear the frustration in his tone.

“Because I
need
him transferred.”

He sighed
again. I could just imagine his defeated frown as he ran his hand
over the back of his neck. “Okay,” he finally agreed. “The four
agents that are coming over should be there within about forty
minutes. I’ll call and have them escort him straight to the airport
and wait until he’s on the plane. I’ll get Maddy to book his
flight.”

I smiled
weakly. “Okay. Maybe you could call Dean Michaels and let him know
what’s going on, but tell him not to say anything to Ashton,” I
suggested.

“Yeah, I’ll do
that. So when the four guards get there, they’ll take Agent Taylor
to the airport and leave you with your two far guards,” he
clarified, checking I understood everything.

“Can I have
Dean as my new near guard? He’s the only one I wouldn’t mind near
me.”

“That sounds
like a good plan for the short term, but we might need to look at
something else longer term. Maybe it’s best if you come home for a
while or something,” he replied, sounding exasperated.

“I don’t want
to leave school,” I replied quickly. “Can’t we just see how this
all goes for a while?”

“For the
moment, but I’ll keep a close eye on it. I already have people
keeping tabs on what he’s up to. If I get even one sniff that he’s
coming near Arizona, you’re coming here to stay with us.
Understood?”

“Understood,” I
confirmed. “Dad, one more thing before you go.”

“What’s that,
Annabelle?” he asked curiously.

“Ashton’s done
an exceptional job here. I don’t want you to think that just
because I’ve requested this early transfer that this looks bad on
him. He really deserves whatever recommendation you would have
given him at the end of the eight months,” I said sternly.

“Okay,
Annabelle, don’t worry, I’ll take care of everything,” he replied
as he ended the call.