Not Your Damn Dom (Denial #2) (8 page)

“
Not these days.” I left it at that.

She t
ransferred her attention to the fingerless MMA gloves tattooed over my heart, running her hand lightly over the inked skin. “First love, huh?”

It had been more like a saviour
of my sanity, a reminder to keep my mood balanced with controlled violence rather than letting my temper loose, but she wasn’t far off. How to explain that to her without sounding like a dick, though? “Something like that.”

“I approve.”

As though she sensed how uncomfortable I was, she examined the meaningless, vaguely tribal design on my arm again. “As a first tattoo, this could be a lot worse. It still looks pretty cool, and at least it’s not ‘I heart Mom’.”

Ha. Fat chance of me getting that one.
“For that to happen, I’d have to heart Mom to start off with.”

“
Mommy issues?” Her grimace told me she had a few of her own.

I changed the subject
—no point in exhuming ancient history. Thinking of my mother only ever got me angry. “You ever think about tattoos?”

Alex
shook her head slowly. “I’m more of an ink groupie than an ink junkie. I’m not great with decisions that last a lifetime, you know? I’ve had henna tattoos a few times, though. They were cool.”

“
Ink groupie? Does that mean you only like me for my tatts?” I teased.

“
And your taste in music.” She kissed my tattooed arm. “And creative mind.” Up to my shoulder. “And unrelenting thirst for my obedience in the gym…” She trailed kisses down to the gloves over my heart, then looked up into my face, her mischievous smile making my pulse kick. “Want me to go on? Cause I haven’t even started mentioning what’s in your pants yet.”

I hesitated a moment, torn between grabbing her and tearing off her clothes
, or just cupping her face in my hands and…

“
What?” she asked softly, her focus intent on me. Brushing her fingers over my jaw, she shook her head. “I really wanna know what goes on in your head sometimes. You’re here, and then you go so far away—somewhere I can’t follow.”

I’d only known her a few days, but I was struck by the irrational
thought that I could never, ever let her go. At the same time, my heart broke just a little for the places I couldn’t take her. I had to change the pace between us, and with her sweet words still echoing around my head, I felt that I actually wanted to.

I kissed her softly, slowly. She responded with a tentative lean into the embrace, but her brow was furrowed a little with confusion. Breaking off, she shook her head slightly.
“I don’t get you, Spencer.”

“
Just give me time, and you will.” It sounded like a promise and I pushed the regret that I’d said it right to the back of my head.

Her eyes softened.
“So you’re asking me to be patient?”

I nodded.

“And in the meantime you’re gonna what?” she asked, teasing me.

I stood up, pulled her with me.
“Take me to your bedroom and I’ll show you.”

* * * *

Alex

I led Spencer upstairs to my room. Progress was slow, because he kept stopping me, kissing the side of my neck, the inside of my wrist, whichever part of me was close enough for him to lavish attention on. Having a shirtless, tattooed, muscular man focus all his attention on making me melt was overwhelmingly erotic. My heart was pounding by the time we got to the bed, blood rushing south to awaken my clit.

He sat me on the side of the bed and knelt between my knees, pushing up the hem of my shirt and trailing kisses over my abdomen. There was no urgency about the movements, no hurry to get to the hotspots, and that fact alone made my entire body one huge erogenous zone. I leaned back on my hands, let him explore the skin at his leisure.

He tugged my shirt over my head and discarded it, moving slowly up to my cleavage beneath the bra. It wasn’t the first time he’d seen my body, but before now I’d always been in a sports bra. Lacy lingerie was a whole different experience.

He devoured my curves with his eyes, his hands, then his lips, kissing along the top of the bra and nuzzling the flesh that peeked over the top of the cups. He seemed to take forever, even stroking his fingers over the hard bumps of my nipples without pulling down the material covering them. It was
as though he had infinite patience, and it was driving me insane with need.

“
You’re killing me here,” I murmured, arching my back to push farther into his touch.

His only response was a low chuckle as he continued his exploration, drawing it out a few seconds more before putting his hands on my waistband, not my bra fastening as I
’d expected.

The button of my jeans snapped free and he pulled down the zipper with a slowness that made me groan. He looked up, amusement in his face, but said nothing as he finished unfastening it. Then, gripping my waist, he pulled me up onto my feet for long enough to work my jeans down.

Not my underwear, though. That, he left intact, though it was soaked through with my need for him and I longed to spread my legs and offer myself in any way he wanted to take me.

N
ow my legs were bared, he kissed his way up one of them from my toes right up to my hip, choosing to devote his attention to my outer thighs rather than inner. Then I had to bite back a million curses as he started again right from the tips of the toes on my opposite leg, drawing things out even further.

His cock had to be killing him
—he was obviously hard under his pants, and just ignoring it. It was hot in one way, since he could have just thrown me down and demanded access to my pussy, which I would have happily given him. It was frustrating as hell for the exact same reason.

Now he was done with my legs, he nipped each of my inner thighs, then pressed a kiss
to my underwear, directly over my clit. Finally, some attention—

He continued right on up over my navel, up between my breasts, and smothered my curses with his lips, drowning them out with his laughter. Pulling away, he grinned at me.
“You’re a needy girl, aren’t you?”

“
You do know I’m gonna get you back for this, right? Somehow?” I spread my legs wider, scooted up the bed and beseeched him with my eyes to continue.

“
That’s later. This is now.” He lay in between my legs, his abs pressing down on my clit as he began to kiss the tops of my breasts again. I tilted my hips up experimentally, wondering how much stimulation I could get from the friction, and tried not to show him just how good it felt. I could probably get myself off just by humping his abs before he’d taken off my bra…

He moved off me with a knowing look.
“Naughty girl. You’re not getting off that easily.”

I whined incoherently as he stretched out beside me, undid the front clasp of my bra and exposed my taut nipples to the air.
“God,” I whispered, as he treated them to the same light touches and kisses he had the rest of my skin.

Every time he licked one of the sensitive nubs, my pussy squeezed in appreciation. I was halfway to insane within minutes, bucking my hips up against thin air, desperate for his cock.

“Spencer, please!”

He relented
—kind of. Drawing down my panties with infuriating slowness, he exposed my aching pussy to the air, making me gasp and buck up against nothing yet again. Then he teased me in a whole new way, kissing the sensitive places where my legs met my labia before lavishing attention above and below my clit.

By the time he drew it into his mouth and gently sucked, I was almost sobbing with need.
Three sucks were all I needed to tip me over the edge, crashing into orgasm, but he didn’t stop there—nowhere near. With every subsequent suck he drew out the climax, building and building it until my head thrashed against the pillow and my fingernails dug into his scalp. I didn’t know if I screamed, didn’t care. All I cared about was riding his mouth, wringing every tiny drop of pleasure from the experience as I could.

When I could finally think again, my mouth was dry and I could hardly breathe.
“Oh, fuck… Oh, fuck me…”

He took it as an instruction, shedding his jeans and underwear in record time and rubbing his cock up and down my saturated slit.
“You really want this?”

My
inner muscles rippled in agreement as I nodded frantically, unable to speak.

“
Slowly, pretty girl.”

He kissed me as the head of his cock edged into me, and it took all my self-control not to
jerk my hips up off the bed, taking control of the situation. The way his mind worked just made me feel too good for anything else, though, and I let him penetrate me inch by slow, teasing inch, his thrusts increasing in depth but not in pace until he was all the way inside me.

I wrapped my arms and legs around him and shuddered, almost ready for another orgasm even with the torturous slowness of his movements. His body in my embrace anchored me to reality, and I kissed his throat, murmured,
“Please take me, please…”

He growled a little as we began to rock together, apart, together again, still slowly, the focus on the sensation of being joined and the building swell of pleasure, not on reaching the end of the journey that had started downstairs, an eternity ago. His muscles shifted under my hands, my feet, and I rubbed against him everywhere I could, brushing my breasts against his chest, my lips against the nearest patch of skin.

Faster now, our breath coming hard, our lips a little clumsy as we kissed, coming unhinged by degrees as climax loomed.

“
Watch me while you come,” he growled, tilting my chin up so I’d meet his eyes. “Watch me.”

All I could do was moan in response, losing myself in his gaze, in the slick glide of his cock in and out of me, the pressure of his fingers against my clit.

“I…”

Whatever I
’d been about to say, I lost the thread of it as my orgasm crashed over me, strong yet sweet, not punishing like some of them could be, just fucking amazing. Spencer’s forehead pressed against mine as he watched every second, and I watched him watching, loving his attention.

“
Now you,” I whispered, breathless and shaky. “Let me see.”

It didn
’t take long. He almost closed his eyes as his cock pulsed within me, but managed to stay with me until his climax was done and he almost collapsed on top of me.

“
You’re intense,” I whispered in his ear, nuzzling his neck as he fought to get his breath back.

Spencer rolled onto his side with a satisfied sigh. “That a good thing?” he asked, his voice soft and husky.

Unable to help myself, I kissed him again slowly, ignoring the way my breathless body demanded oxygen. He slid his hand over my hip, warm fingers cradling the curve of flesh, and I smiled against his lips.

“Better than good.”

CHAPTER SIX

Spencer

It was Kat who let me into Callum
’s place that weekend. She gave me a sidelong glance as she stepped back to let me in. “You look different.”

“
How’ve you been, Kat?” I gave her a once over, Callum’s story of the way he’d messed up with her coming back to the forefront of my mind.

She smiled, touching the collar around her throat lightly. It hadn
’t been there the last time I’d seen her. “I’m doing really good.”

I had to admit it; I was jealous. Not because I wanted Kat for myself
—she was a hotbed of issues and I would never be able to handle her. But Callum had a collared sub living under his roof, at his feet whenever he wanted, no secrets hidden and a D/s dynamic shared with love and affection. I wanted that for me. I wanted Alex that way.

“
I don’t remember the collar being there last time I saw you.” And she and Callum had been together what? Five minutes? No longer than a couple of months. I’d never have let Kristin move in with me that soon after meeting her, let alone put a permanent collar around her neck. It took us almost a year to get to the point of moving her stuff into my place, and another six months after that for a collar.

I was probably letting my own issues colour my opinion of Callum
’s decision, though. It wasn’t any of my business.

She led me through the kitchen and out back, into the garden. A barbecue was smouldering, but nothing looked to have been placed on it yet.

“Hey, Spence.” Callum came around the side of the house holding a cooler. “Staying for food, or is this just a flying visit?”

I thought about it.
“What the hell? I’ll stay.”

Kat smiled and handed me a beer from the cooler Callum had just set down, then
sat in the grass at the foot of one of the lawn chairs nearby. I took another one and pulled it up, waiting for the inevitable.

When my friend stopped fussing with the barbecue and sat down, he finally looked at me properly for the first time. I hadn
’t been a hundred percent sure that he’d see it straight off, but he hadn’t lost his touch. “
You
have a submissive.”

I
’d been expecting something more along the lines of ‘you got laid’, so that rubbed me up the wrong way. “I don’t have a submissive.”

“
Maybe not in name…but you’ve lost some of that edgy angstiness all the chicks love.”

Kat snorted, and Callum made no move to make his submissive respect his fellow Dom. Not that
I was surprised. Or even a Dom, these days.

“
I swear, you like to gossip worse than my aunts did.” I took a mouthful of beer.

“
I just say what I see.” Callum glanced down at Kat, then back up at me. “Do you need some time, man to man?”

Kat looked as though she were biting her tongue. I suspected that she
’d accuse us of needing time for girl talk if she were less well-trained. I didn’t mind having her here. I could use all the advice I could get. “Nah, leave your sub where she is. I could use a female perspective.”

Kat shot a quick look at Callum for permission, then asked,
“So you have a new girlfriend?”

Were we even that
committed? No—yet in some ways, we were far more than that. It was as though we’d skipped over the vanilla classification entirely.

“
She’s a client. Someone Callum used to work with.”

“
Alex Ashford. She played Rebecca Roberts in that three-part story arc towards the end of season two.” Callum reached for a package of sausages on the table and went over to the barbecue.

“
Oh! I know her. Not
know
her, but know
of
her,” she amended, and I recalled she was one of
One Last Look
’s superfans. “She was really good.”

I
made a mental note to rib Callum about collaring one of his fans later.

Callum glanced at me.
“That’s what
he
said…”

“
You’re so fuckin’ mature,” I grumbled, and knocked back more beer. “She’s got an action movie coming up, needs some work on her muscle tone for the role. I took her on as a client.”

Kat rested her chin on her knees, her arms wrapped around her shins, and waited for me to go on.

“Long story short, she’s submissive to me, I couldn’t stop myself from fucking her and now I’m in deep shit.”

“
Did she enjoy it?” Kat asked.

Alex
’s whimpers and gasps came back to the forefront of my mind, making my cock twitch. I looked away from Kat, hoping she wouldn’t notice. “Without a doubt.”

“
Then why are you in deep shit?” she asked. “Fun was had; everyone’s happy, right?”

Callum put the sausages on the barbecue, and the sound of hissing gave way to the scent of cooking meat. He didn
’t correct his submissive’s assumption, and I had to take a minute or two to think about how to approach the situation without spilling my guts about Kristin.

“
You of all people should know things aren’t that easy all the time, Kat.”

She looked down, as if conceding the point.
“Yeah, but I do know that good Doms are hard to find, and you’re one of the good ones.”

“
Yeah? Callum been telling tales on me?” I shot a sharp gaze at his back.

“
I told her you had a bad breakup. That’s all I told her.” His tone carried an unspoken warning for me to calm down.

I sighed.
“That’s all I told Alex. She could tell there was something going on with me. Bad breakup seems like such a fucking understatement, though.”

“
Did you scene with her?” Callum turned the sausages without looking back at me.

I could have gone into details, but it seemed wrong to kiss and tell.
“No. But I was…dominant. Gave orders she followed to the letter and loved. Physically, nothing more than pulling her hair.”

“
Then why worry about what you’re calling it?” Kat tilted her head to one side. “Lots of people have vanilla sex with one person more dominant than the other. I did, in between the bad stuff and Callum.”

“
It’s…complicated.” I changed the subject. “When did the collaring happen?”

Kat blushed a little and touched her collar again.
“It’s not a proper collar, not really. Not a formal one.”

Callum took the batch of sausages off the grill and put the plate aside.
“Grab some bread before they get cold, guys.”

Kat made a sausage sandwich, then surprised me by pushing it towards me.
“Sauces and stuff are behind you.”

I found the tomato sauce on the window ledge and popped it open.
“You never struck me as a service-oriented submissive, Kat.”

“
No, but it’s a damn sandwich. Not everything’s about kink, is it?” She busied herself with her own sandwich. “Sir, I’m not leaving you any.”

He rolled his eyes, no real irritation in his gaze. The extra meat on the grill probably had to do with that.
“See what I have to put up with?”

“
So this is what?” I asked him. “Collar of protection? Consideration?”

“
Nothing with a name. It’s not like I have to protect her from other Doms, and I don’t need to consider anything when it comes to Kat. I just like to see her in a collar. Every now and then it’s fun to attach it to stuff.” The evil look he shot at Kat had her blushing to the roots of her hair. “When I make it official, you’ll know it.”

I wasn
’t going to ask when or where that might be. I had my own submissive’s issues to deal with—fuck, I was even referring to Alex as my submissive in my mind, now.

“
Cal, I have a favour to ask.”

He flipped his own sausages off the grill, grabbed a bread bun and made
a sandwich before sitting down beside me. “Okay, let’s hear it.”

“
I want to borrow your sub.”

He
glanced at me sharply. “Hell, no.”

His overprotectiveness was amusing.
“I didn’t mean like that. No disrespect, Kat, but you’re not my type.”

“
That’s okay. You’re not mine either,” she said, her mouth half full of sandwich, and I grinned.

Callum was scowling at me, waiting for my explanation. I considered drawing it out a little longer, but I wanted to get back to eating.
“I’d like for Kat to get to know Alex. Just in case something happens. Something like…before.”

Kat was obviously mystified, but Callum got my point.
“You want an extra link to her, to monitor her mental state.”

Kat
pulled a face, then waved her hand in the air. “Permission to speak my mind very plainly?”

I raised an eyebrow at Callum, who had tensed a little. Obviously, when Kat spoke her mind there could be fallout.

“Granted, little miss.”

She stood up, putting herself on a level with us.
“You’re treating this poor girl like a time bomb, or an experiment. Drafting contingency plans for in case something goes wrong. I don’t know what kind of something you’re talking about, and I know you don’t want to tell me, Spencer. But she’s a human being with human emotions, and needs, and wants, and desires. Don’t treat her like you know what’s better for her than she does. I haven’t met her, so I can’t say whether or not she’d let you get away with it, but from my perspective, it’s just a weird way to treat a woman. Let her have control of her own sexual destiny, for God’s sake.”

Callum grinned at his submissive.
“You do have a way with words, Little Miss Badass.”

She shot him a look that promised both a reprimand and a sexual escapade or two later, and I focused on finishing my food, irritated by their connection. Envious again.

“Do I or don’t I have a point?” Kat folded her arms over her chest, looking at me.

“
You do,” I allowed reluctantly.

For a while, there was silence.

“Compromise,” Callum said. “Kat gets to meet Alex, but no monitoring of mental states. If there’s friendship there, great. If you two do get into D/s territory, she’ll need a fellow sub to talk to, and I’d like Kat to have more subs around her too.”

“
I would like to see what makes other subs tick,” Kat allowed slowly. “The club thing isn’t something I can do, so it’s a little difficult for me to meet other kinky people. So far, Callum’s been too busy to take me to a munch.”

“
If we do this, you don’t mention D/s to her unless she brings it up first.” I fixed her with a stare I hadn’t given a woman for a long time—a non-verbal command from Dominant to another Dom’s submissive. “I swear to God, Kat, if you put ideas in her head that weren’t there—”

Callum put a hand on my arm, and I sensed the warning in it. I was getting too intense with his sub. Fine. I dropped the subject.

“I’ll make sure she understands later. You can back off.”

I nodded.

“What else is new with you?” he asked, changing the subject entirely.

The rest of the evening was pleasant enough. Some of it, we spent reminiscing over the truly terrible pilot episodes we
’d all been working on when Callum met Kat for the first time. Mercifully, the network hadn’t commissioned a full series of
Dark Hearts Broken
, so the favour Callum and I had been doing for a mutual friend on the scene had ended there. There were still plenty of things to remember about that godawful couple of weeks in New York City, including some of the worst lines of dialogue I’d ever seen acted out on a set.

A few hours later, when Kat had left the room to take a phone call and I was readying myself to leave, Callum brought up the subject of
Alex again. “Kat has a good point, Spencer. Don’t let your own issues fuck this up for you both. Call her your sub, call her your girl, call her your friend with benefits. Whatever. All that matters is that you’re both into what you do. High protocol and public scenes and all that shit don’t matter if you care for her. Just enjoy her, let her enjoy you. Vanilla’s not a death sentence.”

Easy for you to fuckin
’ say.

* * * *

Spencer

“Why am I doing this again?” I asked unenthusiastically, as the limo pulled up to the event venue.

“
You’re saving me from a horrible staged date with a famous guy who’s not my type, and in the process ensuring a ton of grateful sex acts will be heaped down upon you,” Alex murmured, quietly enough that the couple we were sharing the limo with, who were actually stars of the movie that was premiering, didn’t hear.