Not Your Damn Dom (Denial #2) (6 page)

“
It’s weird,” I told Tobias. “I’ve never met a guy who can command my attention like he can. It’s like he has this presence that makes me hyperaware of him. None of the men I’ve been with have ever had that. Have yours?”

Tobias shrugged.
“I’ve not been with that many men. I hooked up with the Devil pretty soon after I came out to myself, and you know how long I was with
him
.”

I made a face. ‘The Devil’ was how Tobias referred to
the man he would have married, if it had been legal at the time.

“
But I did have a one-night thing with one guy like that, and he was pretty damn amazing.”

“
You didn’t want to see him again?” I asked, glad to turn my attention to someone else’s life for a while.

“
He made it pretty clear it was a one-night hook-up. But he tied me to the bed. That was fun.” Tobias shot me an assessing look. “Ever done any of that bondage stuff?”

“
Not really. I tried those stupid fluffy handcuff things and the link between the cuffs broke, so it wasn’t all that fun.” I shrugged.

“
Try it with proper cuffs. Leather ones with buckles. You can get them on the Internet. They’re awesome.” He stood up and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. “Anyway, go take a shower and get some chill-out time. Haven’t you got that red carpet thing later?”

I blinked, panic seizing me, and grabbed my phone. A quick check of my calendar had me scowling up at him.
“No, that’s next week. God, you gave me a heart attack!”

“
Sorry! Gotta go pick the kiddo up from school, but talk later?”

“
Yup.” Tobias had a kid with ‘the Devil’ and they shared custody for his sake, though it hadn’t been an amicable break-up. It was his turn to pick Matthew up.

Alone in the kitchen, I looked around me. Everyday
, normal things in my usual environment seemed boring and unremarkable. When I was around Spencer, my experience was completely different.

We were meeting later tonight, having a meal together, getting to know each other better. I hoped we were as compatible as Callum
said we were. And I so wasn’t thinking about the bondage stuff right now. That could wait until the initial sexy excitement of being with him wore off. I wasn’t the type to ask for that stuff straight off the bat—why fix something that wasn’t broken?

CHAPTER FIVE

Spencer

I was kicking myself for getting creative with
Alex in our training session this morning. It wasn’t that I hadn’t enjoyed myself. Watching her strain to take her weight for longer while I’d licked and sucked on her clit had been the most incredible experience I’d had in a long while.

I was just starting to remember how much I loved being in control. Setting challenges for my subs. Pushing their limits, getting them to last just a little longer to please me, and rewarding them with orgasms.

It was like a relapse. I’d coped okay with the sex part, but the exercise this morning had been a bad, bad idea.

Alex
had been so determined to please me, to gain the rewards of my tongue and my cock, and she’d obeyed every order I’d given instantly. I hoped like hell she didn’t recognise the power dynamic for what it was, because if she started asking for it, I was gonna have a huge problem on my hands.

At least I hadn
’t had to hide my arousal from her today. If anything, it had been a motivating factor in her training.

Training. That was a word that could be used in two ways. As a personal trainer, I gave that service to many people, most of them guys
, most of them people I’d never want to train in the other sense of the word. But Alex was a wholly different matter. I wanted to see her on her knees. Watch her fall into a position I’d trained her to use in my presence. Pull her corset so tight that she gasped before I laced it before a fetish event.

What would it be like, walking into
Scene One with a sub on my arm again? I doubted many people would be surprised. They all seemed to think I was just taking a hiatus from the BDSM lifestyle, that I’d go back to it one day.

Let them see what happened when they got out of control and broke a submissive
’s trust. Then let them hear that they’d get over it eventually. They wouldn’t be so quick to say it after that.

Kristin
. I took her picture from my bedside drawer and stared at it. She’d booked a boudoir photography session with a mutual friend for my birthday, and he’d taken a whole range of shots of her in her underwear, heels and collar—here draped over a piece of fetish furniture, smiling seductively over her shoulder…there on her knees, looking up at the camera the way she always used to look at me.

This picture was the only one I
’d been unable to throw away after all this time. It had always been my favourite of the collection. In it, she was in one of the classic slave positions—forehead to the floor, her arms stretched out over her head, her knees tucked under her. The curve of her spine into her ass had been something I’d always emphasised that I loved about Kristin, and she’d known it when she’d asked for the shot.

I never wanted to see
Alex in that position. It was too personal, too much like replacing the submissive I’d lost. But I ached to see her on her knees for me. Maybe I’d bind her hands behind her back and order her to suck my cock. She’d relish the challenge of that, I already knew. She was a determined one, more determined than Kristin had been.

That thought made me pause. For the first time in a long
while, I’d found something about Kristin’s memory that was less than nostalgic and perfect. She always had given up a little too easily, waited for me to acquiesce or used her slow word to manipulate me. Sometimes I’d let her get away with it, overcome with lust and unable to restrain myself from taking her any longer. Sometimes I’d disciplined her, though she’d never seemed to learn from those punishments.

Now I was wondering how
Alex would respond to my correction, as a submissive receiving her Dom’s criticism. I’d fallen too far back into my old patterns of thinking, far too fast.

I put Kristin
’s picture back into the drawer and left the bedroom, which still carried a faint trace of Alex’s scent.

I had to start thinking vanilla. We were going out to dinner tonight. How had I done things before I got into the BDSM lifestyle? Things had always seemed a little forced and uncomfortable in formal date situations. Now, if I could make
Alex slip a remote-controlled vibrator into her cunt halfway through the meal and set it off at random intervals, right up until she was begging to skip dessert and go home…

Stop, stop, stop.
I groaned and rested my forehead on the living room window pane. A light rain was beginning to fall.

Romance on a vanilla level. How did that work, again?

Fuck it. I’d text her and suggest takeout instead. At least if I was at her place, and her roommate was around, it would make me show a little restraint.

* * * *

Alex

I hadn’t put a huge amount of thought into my outfit, since I’d suggested we check out one of the new bistros off the beaten track and the dress code was pretty casual. So when Spencer suggested we stay in and do takeout instead, I was happy to agree. All that sitting across from each other in public, making forced conversation, could get a little awkward anyway.

He showed up at my door in jeans and a button-down shirt
—the first time I’d seen him out of his gym workout gear. “Wow, Mr. Hyde, you scrub up pretty well. I didn’t know you owned anything but sweatpants.”

He looked me over with a slow, hungry gaze.
“You don’t look half bad yourself.”

I glanced down with only a hint of the insecurity I
’d usually be feeling. After he’d seen me at the gym, all mussed and sweaty, anything else was a step up. “Thanks.”

He kissed me as if he couldn
’t resist, just for a moment. Then again, his lips lingering, teasing mine apart to make way for his tongue.

I drank in his kisses as though they were the first we
’d ever shared, but damn it, wasn’t tonight meant to be about getting to know each other? And eating?

Mmm, he was good at eating certain things
…

Exasperated with myself, I pushed him slightly away.
“As much as I want to drag you to my bed, I’m sort of hungry.”

He gave me one final peck on the lips, as though memorising my taste for the minutes we
’d be spending not melded together. “I can wait. I think.”

I showed him into the living room, which had been a complete
wreck until I’d motivated myself to tidy it earlier in the day. Tobias and I usually kept our takeout menus in a kitchen drawer, but I’d stacked them on the coffee table. Did anyone in LA actually cook their own meals? I sure didn’t. If it wasn’t diner food, it was takeout.

We decided on Thai food and ordered. Then came a moment of awkward silence, which he d
efused with a soft laugh. “It’s been a while since I did this kind of thing, so I’m a little rusty.”

“
I’m sort of tempted to just climb into your lap, but being interrupted by the food would be kind of a mood-killer.” I sat down beside him, close enough to touch but out of temptation’s way.

The heat in his eyes said he was considering dragging me onto his lap anyway, but for whatever reason, he refrained from doing it as well.
“Your friend around?”

I shook my head.
“Nope. He has a date tonight and he doesn’t usually bring them back here. He can be kind of loud in bed and with me usually needing to be up early…it’s a thing we’ve fallen into.”

He nodded, shifting a little on the couch. It probably hadn
’t been the kindest thing to do—mention sex when he’d asked a question to avoid thinking about sex. And seeing him turned on was making me horny as well.

“
Oh, screw it. We can talk when the food gets here.” I launched myself at him, and he caught me easily, his lips crushing mine as he drew me down into his lap. I moaned softly as we rocked together, his hard cock against my clit through layers of clothing. I broke the kiss to catch my breath, and he nuzzled and nipped his way down my throat as though unwilling to keep his lips from my flesh for more than a split second. That was unquestionably, unbelievably hot.

“
I missed you earlier.”

Shit, had I really just said that?
Way to cling, Alex.

Spencer didn
’t seem put off—in fact, his arms tightened around me just a fraction. But I sought to find a way to diffuse the potential awkwardness anyway.

“
I was thinking earlier that I haven’t had a chance to give you head yet…”

He groaned and thrust up against me, breaking off from trailing kisses over my cleavage to look up at me ravenously. I shivered. That look had such an effect on me
—it was crazy.

“
You enjoy sucking cock?” he asked, teasing my nipple through my shirt.

“
Depends on the guy. But I get the feeling I’d really, really enjoy sucking yours.”

He continued to grind up against me, slow simulated thrusts that made my breath catch.
“And when were you thinking might be a good time to try that?”

I laughed and slid down to the floor at his feet, looking up at him as I rubbed my hand over his
erection. “I’m pretty sure you already know the answer to that question.”

“
Do it,” he ordered, reaching out to grab a fistful of my hair and pulling my face closer to his zipper. Startled by the sudden forcefulness, I stared up at him for a moment. He gazed back, a command in his eyes, and I shivered with lust once again. Just as I was about to unzip his fly, he released my hair and trailed his hand down my face, softening the moment. “Please.”

Something in his face was just heart
-breaking, vulnerable. My chest ached with an urge to soothe whatever was wrong, to bring him back from that strange, sorrowful place he’d just been to.

“
Okay,” I whispered, and busied myself freeing his erection from his jeans.

God, this close up he was almost intimidatingly well-endowed, but I could work with that. Kisses and licks up and down his shaft made him sigh and close his eyes. When I finally closed my fist around his cock and stroked upward, he gritted his teeth
to restrain an appreciative noise.

“
Let me hear you,” I murmured, and took his cock in my mouth, licking the spot at the underside of the head to give him pleasure.

He did moan, then, and rested his hand on top of my head again. Part of me wanted him to grab my hair the way he had before, to force me down farther, to make me dedicate myself more fully to the task of getting him off. But he didn
’t, just watched me with lust hazing his expression, and let me set my own pace.

I took him in as far as I could before withdrawing slowly with as much suction as I could, and he let his head fall back against the back of the couch, his eyes closing.
“God, that feels good.”

I hummed my response and got serious, using my hand and mouth in tandem to bring him to the edge. Every time I glanced up into his face, he was watching me, his expression
hungry. Sometimes he suppressed his sounds of pleasure; sometimes he let them out when I flicked my tongue just right. At one point he tightened his hand in my hair again and I moaned around his hard flesh. A shudder ran through him as the vibrations of my voice enhanced his experience.

“
Fuck,” he murmured, bucking up into my mouth involuntarily before controlling himself. “Are you wet? Can you slide your hand into your panties and touch yourself while you suck me?”

My pussy tightened at the thought,
dampening my panties with a new trickle of desire. God, how did he think of these things? No one had ever asked me to do that before. No one had ever cared about how I was feeling while I sucked them off. He was something else.

I slipped my fingers into my panties, dipping between my wet folds to coat my skin with my arousal. Hitting my clit made me gasp and tilt my hips forward, seeking more friction, and for a moment I faltered
in my other task, distracted by my own desire. When he nudged the roof of my mouth with the head of his cock, though, I opened my eyes to see him amused and frustrated at the same time.

Hoping he could sense my apology, I returned to sucking him, licking him,
moving one hand against my clit and my other up and down his shaft in the same quickening rhythm.

“
You want to get off, don’t you?” he said, his voice gravelly with his own need. “Not before you’re done with me, pretty girl. You got that?”

I nodded quickly without breaking my rhythm, sliding my hand up and dow
n, whimpering around his cock.
Please, please, please…
I didn’t even know what I was mentally begging for, just that I wanted something from him, something more than just his orgasm so I could take mine.

“
Fuck, you’re gonna be the end of me.” He closed his eyes, his breathing ragged now. From the tension in his body I could tell he was close to coming, and redoubled my efforts, putting my own stimulation to the back burner while I focused on bringing him off.