Not His Kiss to Take (5 page)

“
I need you to spread your legs a little now.”

“
What?” Things went all woozy when he tried to sit up.

“
I have to check if you’re torn. There’s blood on your thighs.”

Torn? There? God, not there.
“No!”
But it doesn’t feel right down there, does it? Feels broken…

“
Yes.”

That would simply be too humiliating to endure. Nobody was sneaking a peek at his hole.
Nobody.

“
Fucking faggot…”

His ass and balls screamed their agony as he sat up. Nasty orderly masquerading as a doctor grabbed his knee. Jamie shoved him. The doctor held his own, chest rock-solid. The rest of his struggle was brief. Jamie ended up back flat on the floor with his ribs screaming, stomach flipping and head pounding with more ferocity than his worst killer hangover.

“
If I have to tie you down,
I will
.”

“
You can’t do this to me!”

“
Hospital? Or me.”

“
You fucking bastard!”

“
Just get it over with, kid. Then, provided things don’t look too bad after I’ve checked you over, you can climb into that nice warm tub and get clean. You want to be clean again, don’t you?”

Warm tub?

Clean…

Jamie’s eyes flicked over to the claw-footed monstrosity.
Clean—yes.
Steam rose enticingly off the surface.
Warmth. And it hurts down there. Maybe he really can make it better? He’s a doctor—at least I think he is. I’m sure he’s seen buttholes before. And I need to…wash it all away.

“
And after I get you cleaned up, I’ll give you something for the pain and a thick blanket.”

“
P-prick,” he stuttered through chattering teeth.
Blackmailing me like that. With warmth.

“
Spread ’em. You haven’t got anything I haven’t seen before. Or don’t have myself.”

Could this be any more humiliating?
Fingers parted his ass cheeks gently, but the sting sucked the air right out of his lungs. A fingertip touched him…
there
. “Fuck!” he hissed. That stung like crap.

“
You have a small tear there, Jamie, but it doesn’t look too bad. I’d rather not do an internal exam if I don’t have to. But—”

“
Internal?” Jamie gasped.

“
I know you don’t want to remember this, but can you tell me what they assaulted you with? Was it something sharp?”

Remembering ignited the pain all over again. A fresh round of tears burst out, trickled down his face, and dribbled over his chin. No, he hadn’t seen what it was, but he had a fair idea. “B-beer bottle,” he whispered. Glass… The horror of that knowledge made him shudder anew.

“
Goddamn,” the doctor cursed. “Intact…or broken?”

That one guy had been drinking out of it, so maybe…? It had hurt when he shoved it in but not like broken glass would. No, the pain had been more of a stretching, ripping burn. “Not broken,” he said and sniffled. “I don’t think.”

The doctor sighed, exhaling a long and shaky breath. “Okay, then. That’s good.”

The man had such kind eyes.

“
Jamie.”

Not that tone again.
Bad news.
“Huh?” he rasped out. The finger touched his hole again, only for a second, and then a strange sensation replaced it: cold, wet and…gooey.

“
Take a deep breath in through your mouth.”

“
W-why?”

“
Shhh. Deep breath. ’kay?”

A violent shudder seized him by the shoulders—so incredibly cold—as he sucked in that breath, and then…
Oh God!
A fresh, searing pain as his hole stretched open again and a finger slipped inside him.

“
Fuck!” he hissed. “Fuck you!” Jamie tried to kick out, but the doctor slammed his forearm over his thighs and held his shaky legs immobile. The finger twisted, prodded, burned and then pulled out. “You fucking pervert!” he screamed, shredding what was left of his voice box. “Get off me!”

The doctor released him. Jamie lurched up and shoved him.

“
Jamie! Cool it! I had to do that. I’m sorry.”

“
Fuck you!” Didn’t matter if his legs trembled, he was damned well getting out of this new and twisted hell, and right this second. Every muscle protested as he twisted over and lurched into a shaky crawl. “You ain’t no fucking doctor!” That sharp pain he’d felt earlier stabbed under his ribs again, the jolt so intense he fell forward onto his face.

“
Calm down. I had to check. There’s a small tear inside, but it’s not very big and doesn’t extend to your prostate, which would have been very dangerous. I have some antibiotic cream that will help it heal.”

“
You lying bastard!” Why was moving so horrible?
Something’s definitely broken
. “You’re not even a real doctor, are you? You’re just… Y-you just fucking
stole
me from that bar! You’re some kind of pervert, aren’t you? One of them s-sex offenders.” His teeth chattered so badly he could hardly force the words out. “Y-you like raping boys, and you fucking kidnapped me!”

“
I did no such thing. You think those people at the bar would have just let me take you home if they didn’t know I was a doctor? Not fucking likely.”

Kind eyes. Soul of the devil. Jamie glared at him. His swollen eyes watered with blood and tears.

“
Now come on. Let’s get you in the tub.”

Warmth…

Clean.

Oh God, I wanna be clean.

The promise of warmth could not be denied. Besides, he couldn’t move—or leave—on his own. His shaky legs barely cooperated, and the evil pretender helped raise them over the edge of the tub. Moist heat burned his ankles and felt so fucking wonderful his legs threatened to slide out from under him. A fresh tear trickled out, slid off his chin, and fell silently into the tub.

“
Why don’t you kneel down first? Maybe go in an inch at a time. It’s going to sting like hell.”

“
Warm,” he sighed as his icy toes adjusted to the temperature. “Clean.” Felt amazing. The rest of the bath wasn’t nearly as pleasant as that first rush of warmth, except for that soft, cleansing heat washing away blood and the remembrance of unwanted fingerprints. That same heat made his balls, cock, and ass scream anew and swell to bizarre proportions, his face burn and his lip smart. The liar who called himself a doctor never left his side, just stayed close and held him. Kept him safe.

When Jamie could tolerate the contact, the stranger washed him with a horrid red liquid he said was a presurgical soap. The shampoo smelled nicer, not that he enjoyed the scrub on his battered head. By the time he half fell and half got carried from the filthy and bloody water and was dried off, Jamie began to wish that they really had killed him back there in that filthy toilet stall.

Because everything really fucking hurt.

For someone who wasn’t really a doctor, Evan seemed to know what he was doing, not a single precise movement wasted. Jamie hadn’t the strength to disagree about anything, couldn’t find words to protest the tightness of the bandage wound around his ribs, even if he felt like he could breathe better after, or the wrapped bundle of ice tucked up beneath his sac or the squishy, weird ice packs chilling his swollen face. Not even the stretchy-pinchy irritation of the funny little bandages taping his face back together mattered. He simply, silently, endured.

Maybe the blanket was nice. The heating pad warming his frozen feet definitely was.

The raging fire inside his balls sputtered, the flames cooling until he could almost bear the ache between his legs and the duller throb centered deep in his ass.
What if…it won’t work anymore?
Jamie didn’t think he could stand even thinking about that.
What if it’s broken? What if I’m wrecked? Forever?

“
Jamie?”

Ah, it was the nice voice again, the smooth, comforting one. “Yeah?” he slurred. He couldn’t remember ever feeling so exhausted before.

“
Is there someone I can call for you? Family? Your parents?”

Was there? His mom still lived in Bremerton. With Derek the dick-face.
And if you phone her, she’ll freak out. And then she’ll come here, and Derek will have fit and call her names and bitch about how much gas costs and the expense just to come see a useless, skinny kid who got his ass whupped. Guess I didn’t move far enough to get away from him after all. He always said I couldn’t make it on my own.
Roommates? Jamie had two. And they wouldn’t give a shit. They barely knew each other. One of them had the hots for Melissa anyway. Auntie Ang would come, but she lived in California now, and that was such a long drive, and unless he was dying…

“
Am I dying?” he asked, trying to sit up.

“
What? No, of course not!”

“
Then no. Don’t wanna phone anyone.” God, that was hard work, stringing all those words together.

“
Jamie,” Evan said and then sighed. “Someone should know where you are. And what happened to you.”

“
S’all right,” he muttered. “Tomorrow. I’ll tell someone tomorrow.” Maybe. Who the fuck would care?

“
Fine. First thing in the morning, you’re going to call someone.” Evan readjusted the ice packs and then stuck a plastic gun-shaped thing in his ear. He hummed tunelessly as he worked, prodding his chest and groin and nailing him in the eyes with a small flashlight.

“
Stop it,” Jamie moaned, swatting the light away.

“
I’m worried about your concussion.”

Jamie knew he had one. His head felt the same as that time he’d wiped out at the skateboard park and missed the old mattress on the landing. “I’ll be okay.”

“
That’s for me to decide.”

Bossy jerk fucker.
Evan shifted the heating pad so it toasted the bottoms of his feet. If only something that simple could ease the pain everywhere else. A fresh wave of agony rippled over him, and he whimpered. Guess Derek was right.
I guess I really am a puny wimp and can’t take care of myself
. Jamie closed his eyes and rode out the wave, barely conscious of the fact that it sounded like Evan left the room.
Did he leave me alone? Please don’t leave me alone!
The room felt scary without him in it, even if he was a kidnapping, bossy, lying, phony hack bastard.

Please come back. Don’t leave me alone.

“
Jamie.”

“
You’re back,” he mumbled with relief. The pain kept getting bigger and bigger. Less sharp, but…
bigger
.

“
Will let me give you something for the pain? A shot?”

Sounded wonderful, but— “A needle, you mean?”

“
Yes.”

Fuck
. Kidnapped by a crazy addict. This only happened in crappy B-grade movies. “Heroin?” he mumbled. The man didn’t look like a strung-out junkie from a movie, but you never could tell.

Evan snorted. “No, not heroin, smartass. Demerol. A perfectly legal pain inhibitor.”

“
You’re not really a doctor, are you?”