North Pole Reform School (18 page)

“Well,” Tinsel says, “you can’t be Santa without a Mrs
Claus.”

The old Mrs Claus comes forward, shrugging her red robe off.

“Aren’t you Mrs Claus?” I ask.

“Oh no, dear. I’m one of the secretaries. Santa needed a Mrs
Claus, and, well, we couldn’t find anyone willing to marry that old bastard. We
had to find someone to fill in. The job is yours if you want it.”

“The lot of you can sod off. I can’t be Santa,” Luke says.

A rush of air fills the room as the front door clatters
shut.

“You
can
do it, son. You
have
to.” It’s a jittery, old voice, and the crowd
parts to let an elderly elf hobbling on a stick pass through.

“Granddad!” Luke cries.

“Elf Ian!” Tinsel greets him like the answer to her prayers.

Luke runs over to give him a hug. “I can’t believe you’re
really here.”

“Give me a minute alone with my grandson.” Ian dodders. He
points his stick at one of the doors to the side of the foyer, and the crowd of
elves part to let them through.

I’m unsure of what to do as the door closes behind them.
Winter and Jingle come over to the foot of the stairs where we’re standing.

“I hope Elf Ian can make him see sense,” Tinsel says to
them.

“What about you?” Winter asks me. “Are you willing to go
with him?”

“Of course,” I say instantly. I realise that I am. I think
back over the past couple of weeks and all the things I’ve learned. I never
imagined them to be true, but here we are. If I can play a part in saving
Christmas, then I want to.

“Good,” Winter says. “The reindeer are so young. They’ve
never done this before. We won’t even have time to give them a trial run. You
were so good with them, and they’ll need support on their first flight.”

“The reindeer…” I suddenly realise we’ll be taking the baby
reindeer. “Their parents are dead.”

Winter nods.

Of course they are. I knew that. I just hadn’t realised it.

“Why can’t you go?” I ask Winter.

“Elves can’t fly in the sleigh.”

“Of course, it all depends on Elf Ian persuading Luke to
help. If he says no then I don’t know what we’ll do,” Navi says.

“I’d do it. Even if Luke says no, I’d do it.”

“Women can’t be Santa, my dear,” Tinsel says.

I shrug. “Luke acts tough, but he’s a big softie at heart.
He’ll do it, I’m sure.”

“I hope so,” Jingle says. “The two of you are some of the
nicest humans I’ve ever met. In fact, this whole reform group has been the best
ever. Except maybe that horrible man with his red-cube joke. He wasn’t very
nice.”

I laugh. Glad to see Joe has left his mark.

“I mean it,” Jingle adds. “You two and that duck lady and
the boy, you all made me feel valued again. I haven’t felt important since this
Santa took over last year.”

Tinsel pats him on the shoulder.

The door opens and Luke pokes his head out of it. He motions
for us to come over. Tinsel, Navi, and I go into the room with them. Elf Ian is
sitting in a chair.

“Okay?” I mouth at Luke.

He nods, but he looks shaken up.

“I’ll do it,” he says. “But I have a condition.”

“Go on, dear boy,” Navi says.

“You get my sister and bring her here. She’s in danger, and
I’ve already been away too long. I can’t do this without knowing she’s safe.”

“Consider it done,” Tinsel says instantly. “I’ll send the
purple moose straight away.”

“Granddad said I’d have to stay here, at least for a bit.”

Tinsel nods. “If you put on the suit, you will become Santa
until such a time as we can fill the position. While we’ll start looking for a
replacement immediately, it’s not an easy or necessarily quick job. It may be
months before you are relieved of the duties, although we will endeavour to
have the position filled by next Christmas.”

“And my sister can stay here?”

“If that’s what it takes to save Christmas, she’s more than
welcome.”

“She can stay with me in the retirement home. We’re a bunch
of old fogies—it will do us good to have a youngster around the place,” Ian
says.

“This applies to you too, Mistletoe. Although you will be
permitted to visit your families, you will be under contract to be Santa and
Mrs Claus until we can find replacements, and you will be required to spend a
majority of your time at the North Pole.”

I shrug. “My parents will be thrilled for me. They’ll think
it’s the best thing in the world.”

“Some would say it is,” Ian says.

Luke looks at me. “I can’t do this without you.”

“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I grin back at him.

“We’re really doing this?”

“We’re really doing this.”

Tinsel and Navi let out a simultaneous cheer.

Mrs Claus comes in, carrying two garment bags. “We may not
have a spare Santa, but we do have spare clothing.”

“Thanks, Carol,” Tinsel says. “Could you go and pass on the
good news to the other elves?”

“Of course,” she says happily before turning to us on her
way out. “And just so you know, I’m very proud of you two.”

Minutes later we hear an ear-shattering round of cheering
from the elves in the foyer. The noise dies down as they disperse from Santa
Headquarters, and the Christmas music starts playing again.

“They can relax now they know Christmas will be saved,”
Tinsel says.

“I’d hardly call it relaxing,” Luke mutters. “Why are you so
sure we can do this?”

“Jingle is right,” Tinsel says. “You have both been
excellent students. You have both given your all to everything we have made you
do, and I know from the reports I’ve had back that, despite contrary
appearances, you’ve actually quite enjoyed some of your time here. The elves
you have met and helped have faith in you. In a minute we’ll take you to meet
the black-ops chimney-related emergencies team, who will run you through the
protocol and answer any questions you may have. Tomorrow will be spent
organising everything. Although I’m confident we can still do it, losing Santa
like this is a disaster for us. We’ll have to send a team out to recover the
sleigh, and the young reindeer have never done anything like this before.”

“Mistletoe is really good with them,” Luke says and I feel
myself blush.

“That’s why she’s going with you,” Tinsel says. “This
Christmas will be a struggle for all of us, but I’m confident we can make it
work.”

“Of course we can,” Navi says. “Beauty is in the eye of the
Cyclops, after all.”

“Now then,” Tinsel says, “this is a business agreement. When
you two put on these clothes, you will become Santa and Mrs Claus until we can
find a replacement. It may not be anytime soon. Until then you will be required
to fulfil the duties of the Claus family with no exceptions. Do you agree?”

“I do,” Luke says.

“I do,” I say.

“I feel like I should be giving you a wedding ring,” Luke
whispers in my ear.

Navi has pulled contracts out of the desk and brings them
over for us to sign. Tinsel is unwrapping the outfits. Once we’ve slipped them
on, we do a twirl and the three elves clap.

“Do I have to wear this all the time?” Luke asks.

“Only in public,” Navidad tells him. “All work and no play
makes for three squirrels on a mushroom.”

“This is a binding contract,” Tinsel says. “And all binding
contracts in the North Pole must be sealed with a kiss under the mistletoe. Oh,
look!” She points upwards, and of course there just happens to be a branch of
mistletoe hanging from the ceiling.

I laugh.

“Obviously,” Luke mutters.

He steps forwards and takes my face in his hands. “I can’t
say I ever imagined myself saying this, but thank you for being my Mrs Claus.”

Then he kisses me. It’s soft at first, just a gentle press
of his lips to mine, but I can’t help but kiss him back, and when Luke makes a
noise in the back of his throat and pulls me closer to him, my knees turn to
jelly. It’s been building up since the moment I stepped out of my room in our
quarters and saw him standing opposite. We’ve touched and hugged and gotten
close, but we’ve never acted on it. Now we don’t stop acting on it. My hands go
into Luke’s hair, and he’s practically holding me up. My body feels warm and
Luke’s hand cups my cheek, making me feel wanted and cherished.

Tinsel lets out a polite cough and we jump apart. Luke looks
as dazed as I feel.

“If you’ll come with me, you will have to do a master class
with the chimney-related emergency team, and after that I suggest we make a pit
stop at the stables and offer the reindeer some encouragement. They’ve just
lost their parents, after all. Once the sleigh has been recovered and, er,
cleaned, we’ll have to get the mechanics to show you how to operate it.”

Mrs Claus—the old Mrs Claus, that is, considering I suppose
I am known as Mrs Claus now—comes in again to escort Ian back to the retirement
home to await the arrival of Luke’s sister. Luke tells them to promise her
we’ll come up and see her as soon as possible.

We file outside and follow Tinsel and Navi to the building
they warned us away from on our first day. Luke takes my hand as we trudge
through the snow. I trip over the toe of my boot, as usual. Seems that being an
integral part of Christmas doesn’t make elf boots any easier to walk in.

“Better get used to this, Mrs Claus,” Luke says.

I squeeze his hand.

Maybe Christmas isn’t that bad after all.

CHAPTER 25

Chaos. Chaos is the word to describe the next
twenty-four hours. There are meetings, lectures, and elves telling us how
everything works and expecting us to remember it all. The first time Luke and I
get a moment to breathe is as darkness falls on Christmas Eve night while the
sleigh is loaded up and the reindeer are galloping down the runway. The only
thing we’ve done that isn’t related to “how to fly around the world in a sleigh
on Christmas Eve” is have Jingle write a letter to Emily, offering her a job in
the post office department, and listen to an elf choir singing “Happy Birthday”
to me at breakfast this morning. Tinsel and Navidad even got me a birthday
present—a pair of proper snow boots. They don’t even have any bells on them.

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a jar of
pickles,” Navi shouts after us.

“Don’t fly too low!” Tinsel calls. “If you see any zombies,
don’t try to scare them off!”

Yeah. That’s one mistake we won’t be making.

“Jesus,” Luke mutters, falling back against the seat as the
sleigh rises into the air. “I’m knackered and we haven’t even started yet.”

“Yeah, but at least we have hot chocolate on tap. The elves
really do think of everything,” I say, nodding towards the hot chocolate
dispenser on the dashboard.

“Sod hot chocolate, I need proper caffeine, stat.”

Thankfully the sleigh is a simple thing to drive. Anyone who
has ever played
Mario Kart
could manage it. Once
outside the dome, it’s controlled remotely by an elf team back at sleigh
headquarters who direct us to each house using a form of satnav system. There’s
a whole team dedicated solely to this. Apparently they spend all year building
maps just for this night.

“Luke, the glass!” I grab his arm as the glass top of the
dome shimmers in front of us. It’s too late to be scared we’re going to hit it.
The reindeer pull us straight through like it isn’t even there.

“It’s magic,” Navi says from the radio. “Only people on
flying reindeer can pass through.”

We have a constant radio line to Tinsel and Navidad, who are
back at Santa Headquarters. A team of elves are preparing the building,
removing all traces of the previous Santa, ready for our return. Santa
Headquarters is our new home now. I imagine it’s much the same as they do at
the White House or 10 Downing Street when a new president or prime minister is
voted in.

The reindeer pick up speed as we fly higher in the sky. Now
that they’re unrestricted by a dome, they seem to be enjoying their freedom.

“Pretty good for a bunch of horses with prongs on their
heads,” Luke says.

I give his arm a whack. “Shut up. I’m only here to look
after them, so quit being insulting, Santa.”

He laughs. “Weird, isn’t it?”

“What part? The flying reindeer? The sleigh? Being Santa?
The North Pole, with added zombies? A thousand elves going from hating your
guts to hailing you as the saviour of Christmas?”

“Finding my grandfather who died nine years ago ranks pretty
much at the top of that list.”

This is the first time Luke has mentioned his meeting with
Elf Ian. Although it’s also the first moment we’ve been alone since yesterday
morning.

“Er, yeah. How did that go?”

He shrugs. “You can probably imagine. ‘Hello, dear boy. My,
how you’ve grown!’ and ‘Hello, Granddad. You look pretty good for a guy who’s
been dead for nine years.’ It was surreal. Almost as surreal as watching Santa
rip the leg off a reindeer and eat it.”

“Yeah. Well, they did want to teach us the hidden parts of
Christmas.”

He laughs. “I never imagined zombies and a flesh-eating
Santa to be a part of Christmas.”

“I think it’s safe to say this has been a highly unusual
Christmas.”

“Coming into Australia.” Navidad’s tinny voice comes across
the radio. “You’ve just crossed the border. First landing will occur in
approximately three minutes. Don’t forget, whether you think you can or think
you can’t, you’re right.”

“Wait… did that actually make sense?”

“I think it did.”

Luke looks at me as the sleigh starts to tilt downwards. “Do
you really think we can do this?”

“Of course we can. We— Whoa!” We’re thrown backwards as the
reindeer descend rapidly and then thrown forwards as they come to an abrupt
stop on a roof.

“Well, that was fun. Let’s be sure to do that again, guys.”
Luke straightens his hat as he gets up.

“First delivery, Santa,” I say.

“Don’t call me that, Mrs Claus. It’s too weird.”

I check the list and dig the corresponding present from the
sack—the presents are helpfully layered by country, so not that hard to find.
Although admittedly I was hoping the sack would magically pop out the correct
present without me even trying.

Luke takes it and looks nervously at the chimney.

“Go on,” I tell him. “You’ll be fine. And don’t forget to
eat the milk and cookies.”

One thing we’ve learnt is that all the pictures you see of
Santa in a chimney with a sack of presents are a complete myth. You can’t take
a full sack of presents down a chimney. Once we’ve picked the individual
presents from the sack in the sleigh, Luke takes them and jumps into the chimneys.
If he gets stuck, I have to put in a call to the chimney-related emergency
team, and they come out with a giant plunger. Getting stuck in chimneys is more
common than you might think.

It’s only a few minutes later that Luke returns, smiling
widely. “That was easy. I just slid right down and popped the present under the
tree. And they left the most delicious cookies out for me. Here, I brought you
one. Ginger and pecan. Lovely. I hope all the houses are like this.”

I laugh.

“Funnily enough, they left a red pepper out for the
reindeer.” He pulls it from his pocket. “I didn’t know reindeer liked bell
peppers.”

The reindeer stamp their hooves in excitement, so I take the
pepper over and share it between them.

“Who’d have thought Australians know more about reindeer
than we do?”

The reindeer are perked up from the pepper as they take off
for the next house.

It’s amazing up here. Christmas lights twinkle from every
angle. The sky is clear and the stars are shining, and after a few landing
hiccups, the reindeer fly like they’ve been doing it all their lives.

After many, many, more deliveries, we come to a name I
recognise.

“This is that boy’s house,” I mutter. “Milo, the one I read
about on the naughty and nice list.”

Luke already has the boy’s present in his hand.

“Wait.” I grab a pen and climb out onto the roof. “I want to
give him an extra present. To make up for last year.”

“I don’t think they want us to do that.”

“You’re Santa, Luke. You’re the boss now. It’s your call.”

He shrugs. “Go for it.”

I take a present from the spare present sack—see, those
elves really do think of everything—and scrawl, “
We
care. Don’t give up.
” across the gift tag and hand it to Luke.

He reads it and smiles. “We could really do some good here.”

I nod.

“Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing after all.”

He’s right.

The North Pole Reform School has undoubtedly done its job on
me. I never considered that Christmas was important to people. I never
considered how much it mattered. I thought it was nothing more than an excuse
to overindulge and be surrounded by annoying relatives whom you don’t want to
be surrounded by.

Tomorrow I’ll get to go home and spend Christmas with my
parents and my sister. Tinsel has given me permission to tell my parents what I
am doing. I know they will be proud. It might not be how I pictured myself
spending Christmas Eve, but this is certainly the best Christmas I’ve ever had.
And if you had told me that I’d feel this way three weeks ago, I never would
have believed you.

For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m doing
something good. I feel like I’m doing something that matters.

“I’ve been thinking,” Luke says when he comes back from
delivering Milo’s presents. “Maybe I’ll tell Tinsel and Navi to hold off on
finding a replacement Santa. What do you think?”

I smile at him. “I think that’s the best idea you’ve ever
had.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I think stealing tacky Christmas
decorations was a pretty good one. It got me here, didn’t it?”

I laugh. “You’re turning into an old sap, Mr Claus.”

“At least the elves were helpful enough to pack some
mistletoe.” He pulls a sprig from under his seat and waves it above my head. I
blush as he leans over and kisses me.

“Merry Christmas, Mis,” he says.

“Merry Christmas, Luke.”

The reindeer take off again, throwing us against each other
in the back of the sleigh. The night isn’t over. It won’t be over for hours
yet, but I don’t mind. Christmas Eve is one of the best nights of the year,
after all.

.xxx. The End .xxx.

Also by Jaimie Admans:

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Welcome to Afterlife Academy, where horns are the
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Afterlife Academy is a Young Adult paranormal
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Find it now on
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Book two in the series will be released early 2014.

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Surely finding an older gentleman looking for love
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If you've ever thought that boys grow up, here's the
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Creepy Christmas

Strange things are occurring in the neighbourhood. A
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About the author:

Jaimie is a 28-year-old English-sounding Welsh girl
with an awkward-to-spell name. She lives in South Wales and enjoys writing,
gardening, drinking tea and watching horror movies. She hates spiders and
cheese & onion crisps.